Skyscraper
by EragonArya
Summary: After the abuse suffered at McKinley, Kurt transfers to Dalton, fearful of all the students. Will a group project help him realize that not everyone is out to hurt him?
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Skyscraper

**Pairing:** Kurt H./Blaine A.

**Genre: **Angst/Hurt/Comfort/Romance

**Rating: **T for violence, swearing and harsh language that does not include swearing.

****Summary**:** After the abuse suffered at McKinley, Kurt transfers to Dalton, fearful of all the students. Will a group project help him realize that not everyone is out to hurt him?

**Warnings**: Extremely angsty, possible triggers

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Glee. Title comes from the song 'Skyscraper' by Demi Lovato.

**Author's Note:** So this is by far the angstiest thing I've ever written. It's also the longest chapter I've ever written. And to add one more first, this is the first plot I've come up with before beginning writing. Yay for firsts!

Thank you for giving this a chance. To all my readers of 9 to 5, I will try to update both as quickly as possible. Another thanks to spitsgirl18 and connellymack for giving me their opinions on the plot.

Enjoy!

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><p><strong>Skyscraper<strong>

I walked through the tall wooden doors of Dalton Academy. My dad gave up his honeymoon with Carole to let me come here. I supposed I had to be grateful. I was, don't get me wrong, I was more than anyone could imagine. The problem was that I was terrified by not only that was in a new school I had never set foot in or that I had never met a Dalton student, but for the fact that I couldn't drive four hours a day so I had to sleep here too. I couldn't go and get a hug from my dad when things got too much. Not during the week anyways.

I looked around the room we were in. _So this is what a private school is like_, I thought to myself. I knew the curriculum would be more challenging than at McKinley, but it gave me an excuse not to talk to anyone. I didn't need to make new friends, not when they were only out to betray you. The ones I had were enough.

"You okay?" I heard my dad ask. He didn't know how to act around me anymore, not since that night.

I turned my head slowly to the sound of his voice. I must have stopped walking without noticing. My dad was about ten feet away, standing in front of a door gazing at me worriedly.

"Fine," I mumbled, walking slowly so not to aggravate my injuries more than necessary. "Where are Finn and Carole?"

"Finding a parking spot, remember?" he asked.

I remembered briefly that they hadn't gotten out of the car when we did. I didn't look to see if they did or not. I had also heard them exchanging words, but I hadn't been listening to what they said. I nodded anyways.

The door I had come through opened with a bang and my step brother blundered through causing noise to reverberate around the silent hall. Carole followed gracefully.

"Woah," said Finn, eyeing the room. "It's like, a gay Hogwarts."

"What do you mean?" Carole asked, an amused sparkle lighting up her bright green eyes.

"It's like, fancy and stuff," said Finn. "And you sleep here. And it's all guys."

"Just because it's an all-boys school does not make it a gay school Finn," I snapped.

I loved Finn, I really did, but sometimes the remains of his homophobia showed through his loving, brotherly exterior. No matter how innocent he meant it, it still stung harshly like a cut from a wrangled piece of metal landed on wrong when being thrown in a dumpster filled with garbage. But I couldn't hold it against him. He was trying hard to overcome it and I appreciated it more than he could ever know. He was also the only one who noticed the bullying get how bad it got, even though he only learnt when I was changing, when my many bruises were most visible. But he noticed. It was more than anyone else had done back at McKinley. He's actually the one who found this place and brought the bullying, and this school, up to my dad. I didn't know about their talk or that Finn noticed until my dad asked me if I wanted to transfer here. Finn backed him up. While the papers were still getting sorted, and financials still getting finalized, he would follow me around to my classes, acting as a bodyguard. It helped, sort of, but there were times that they still found me alone. Finn would show up before they did anything too bad and apologize profusely. I never listened to those, he didn't need to apologize since he was trying to make my life at school better. Even after all of this, he's been trying to 'make it up to me', not that he needs to do anymore. Just noticing my abuse was more than enough.

Put aside the homophobia in his comment, I could agree Dalton was kind of like Hogwarts. It might not have been a castle, but there was plenty of decor that could have been pictured in JK Rowling's fictional world. There were a couple marble staircases, though they didn't move. The tiled floors were unlike the ones at McKinley, and I didn't only mean from the lack of slushy stains. A number of paintings covered the walls. Plush chairs and couches surrounded a stone fireplace and solid wooden tables. I wondered how much the cleaning bill was, and how often they had to replace everything. That was probably where most of the tuition went. The tables and chairs were all empty, as the students must have been in class. I was glad. I didn't want to be the 'new kid' just yet.

"Well, should we go in then?" my dad asked, gesturing to the office door.

I nodded, my nerves setting in again. I felt Finn squeeze my arm as a sign of comfort. I winced as he squeezed a little too hard on an area that was a little too tender. But I nodded to show I understood what he meant to do.

A small, bony woman in a perfectly ironed, crisp white blouse and a black pencil skirt sat typing quietly behind a large wooden desk. She adjusted her too large glasses and looked up when she saw us come in.

"Can I help you?" she asked. Her nasally voice was getting older, but it still sounded rather young for what her age looked to be.

She looked to me, but my dad answered, knowing I wouldn't. "We have an appointment with the principal," he explained.

"Can I get your name?" She sounded bored. Then again, if this were my job I would be too.

"Hummel."

She clicked a few buttons and nodded. "Follow me," she said, standing up. How those legs supported her breakable-looking frame I would never know.

We followed her a short way down the halls of the office, which had a similar look to the room we had previously been in, to another door. A plaque situated perfectly in the center of the door at eye-level read _A.D. Simmons_. I guessed this was the name of my new principal. The woman who let us in knocked and opened the door slightly, enough to stick her head in.

"Your one o'clock appointment is here Dr. Simmons," she said.

"Send them in!" a booming voice called. I flinched, not missing my dad's pained expression.

The woman opened the door wider to let us through and left. My dad walked in, followed by Carole. Finn pushed me lightly ahead of himself. I was terrified to go in.

Sitting in an office boldly decorated with all memorabilia of the Montreal Canadians was a man of average height with a very round stomach. He looked to be in his early 40s. His face, like his stomach, was also round with rosy cheeks chubby like a baby's. His small mouth was turned up in a wide smile. He had no hair on his head whatsoever.

"Hello!" he said joyfully, standing up to shake my dad's hand in a firm handshake that seemed to rip his arm off. "I'm Dr. Simmons." He held out his hand to shake mine but I shook my head. I saw my dad wincing as he rubbed the hand Dr. Simmons had shook out of the corner of my eye. He didn't seem fazed.

"You're a doctor?" Finn asked. "I thought you were the principal." _Please no Finn_.

Dr. Simmons laughed not in a cruel manner. "Not quite. I'm not a medical doctor, even though you get a lot more money doing that. It just means I have a PHD."

"Isn't that like...water?" Finn asked, tilting his head to the side.

He shook his head. "That's Ph Level. A PHD is a degree I went to school a really long time to get." He seemed like a good guy. Not many people would stop and explain things like that to Finn.

"Oh," my step brother said dumbly. "I knew that."

The principle turned back to me. "So you must be Kurt." His smile was warm and welcoming. If this were before, I would have trusted him on sight. But it wasn't, so I didn't. "We are pleased to have you here at Dalton."

I nodded and scrunched my lips like I was trying to smile so I wouldn't come off as completely rude, he was the principle after all. I hadn't smiled in quite some time, not since that night. "Pleased to be here sir," I said mechanically. My voice was quiet, quieter than normal for a usual speaking voice. It used to be louder, but it's been this quiet since the bullying got worse. There was no point in talking loudly, especially if your voice was too high for your gender, if the only thing it did was draw attention to yourself. And that attention, for me, usually came in forms of harassment.

The guy gave me a sympathetic look. I looked away though. I didn't want anyone's sympathy or pity. "Things will get better Kurt. I promise. You aren't the first person to transfer here for safety." I didn't doubt that but I did wonder how much my dad told him. When I didn't respond, he gestured to the chairs for us to sit down on. I sat down carefully, sitting forwards so my back wouldn't touch the back of the chair.

"We have a few things to go over," he said. "Are you going to be boarding? We never discussed that on the phone. Since you live two hours away it would be wise so you can excel in your academics."

I looked to my dad. He could tell him. "We were thinking about it. What's the extra cost?"

"It would be an added $800 per month, coming as a separate bill each month and also includes meal fees." My eyes bugged out of my head.

"So all the food would be free?" my dad asked.

"Unless it's from the vending machines, yes." Even now there was no way I'd get something out of there, and my dad knew that.

He looked to Carole for a moment then looked to me when she nodded. "What do you think kiddo?"

"You don't need to. I can drive," I said. It was natural for me to argue back since I wasn't quite comfortable with the situation, even though it had already been decided and there were boxes in the car.

"Kurt, we've talked about this. It'd be best, you know that."

"But it's too much money. Dad, I'm fine with driving."

"It'd be cheaper than driving four hours a day with what gas prices are these days. And I don't want to gear about you getting in an accident because you fell asleep at the wheel." My dad was looking at me with a worried, pleading eyes. I knew why he was so scared. I also knew he had a point. So I nodded.

"Alright then," said Dr. Simmons. "We have a sheet for you to fill in about roommate preferences. We also have a few single rooms which would normally be an added cost to the boarding, but since you are transferring mid-semester it will cost the same. Whichever you prefer. A roommate would make it easier for you to get to know people and-"

"Single," I said cutting him off. There was no way in hell that I'd be getting a roommate if I could avoid it. I didn't want to deal with yet another homophobic Neanderthal. "Please," I added quickly.

He nodded and checked something off on a piece of paper he had in front of him. It looked like some sort of form.

"On to uniforms then. You can buy each piece separately, which is what some families prefer doing if they're only wanting one of each article. We also offer a set of one blazer, two sweaters, two pants, four shirts and a tie which is a cheaper price that if you were to buy all those separately. They're available across the hall. We also have hoodies, track pants and t shirts available for sale. You can go there to decide what you want and pay.

"For your schedule, we went over the one you had at McKinley and came up with one for you here. There are a few changes to your classes though. If you would prefer taking different classes you can get it switched.

"What am I signed up for?" I asked.

"We have six periods in a day and an hour long lunch break between periods three and four. You have History in period one, English Literature in period two and Home Economics in period three. After lunch you have Advanced French, Music and lastly Physics. Is that alright? Or would you prefer to change classes?"

I nodded. It was mostly the same classes. If it were my choice, I wouldn't be taking music, but my dad would be even more upset and worried about me if I didn't. I knew everything that happened already was causing his too much stress. I didn't need to add more, especially with his heart. "That's fine," I told him.

"Excellent!" he smiled. "If you don't like them after the first day you can change them. Our rules are mostly similar to most other schools. You must be in proper uniform during school hours unless you have permission directly from the office. Once sixth period is over you can wear whatever you please as long as it is modest and respectful. We allow no smoking or illegal substances whatsoever on school property. Advil and other medicines similar are fine. Absences must be cleared. If you are sick in your dorm we will have someone come and check if you indeed are, most likely that will be the task of our nurse. Curfew is ten on weeknights and midnight on weekends. You can be awake after, but you must be in your dorm causing no loud, disruptive noise. Meal times for breakfast are 7:15 to 8:15 for breakfast, classes beginning at 8:20. Lunch is between 11:20 and 12:20. Classes will end at 3:20 and dinner will be from 5:00 to 8:00. The rest of the rules, including details about proper uniform, can be found in your planner.

"One thing that is very different than other schools is our zero-tolerance harassment policy. I assume that's why you've chosen us?" When my dad nodded he continued. "We do not tolerate any kind of bullying whether it be physical, verbal or implied. If there is a case, no matter how minor, we deal with it severely. There are times when people are pushed or tripped accidentally, if this is the case then nothing happens. There is no punishment for clumsiness of limbs or body, but there is for clumsiness of mouth if you say something such as, not that I enjoy using these terms, calling something 'gay' or 'faggy'. It is up to the students to judge whether it is harassment or not, but we do have teachers keeping an eye on things. Expulsion and suspension are what normally happens if there is any harassment. We very rarely have problems though. All our students are respectful and treat others the same. If they are uncomfortable with a race, sexual preference, religion or whatever else they keep it to themselves or face the consequences.

I doubted it worked that well. I'm sure bullying just happened every day. It was a school full of rich teenage boys with rich, homophobic parents. I had no doubt they passed their views on to their children. They probably paid the school to avoid the suspension or expulsion of their children then give them a pat on the back for showing the fact that being gay was wrong. The policy might work in theory, but in reality? Not so much.

He started to talk about the founders of Dalton, and important people who used to be students. I think he started talking about extracurricular activities, but since I wasn't going to be involved in anything I didn't bother to listen. While he talked, my mind drifted. I didn't let it go far though. I didn't want to have a flashback in the middle of the principal's office. I zoned back in just as he was finishing his explanation.

"Lastly I have a few words for you. Our curriculum is much more advanced and challenging than what you are used to. You'll have to get caught up in most of your classes. I suggest getting help from a student in that class to help you as it will make it much easier. Everything we've discussed can be found in your Agenda along with the rules like I mentioned earlier. You can get it at the front desk from Ms. Dijardi at the front desk along with a copy of your schedule, map, room, room key and a handbook to proper studying." He paused and took a deep breath. "If there are any problems with anything, student, teacher, class, directions, anything at all, come and let me know. I will do my best to help you and my door is always open."

"Hey Dr. Simmons!" a new voice called from the doorway. I jumped high, pretending I didn't give a frightened whimper, though it was nearly inaudible. I gripped the arms of my chair as hard as I could without hurting myself. I knew my eyes were wide with panic. Finn jumped too, so I didn't look completely out of place for my first reaction. "Do you mind if we have a performance in the senior commons at three tomorrow?"

I turned my head slowly and saw a short boy with hazel eyes and dark hair standing grinning in the doorway. Maybe I would have founded him cute before, but now I didn't pay attention to his looks. No one would ever want a fag like me and they definitely didn't want me to try and take a look at their junk. I felt my heart beat faster. I grew even more panicked when I saw the immaculate uniform that presented him as a student. I was nowhere near ready to meet people.

"Not at all Blaine," said Dr. Simmons, his happy smile returning. "Remind me so I can come and watch."

"Will do sir!" said the boy, Blaine as Dr. Simmons had called him. He nodded to us politely, his eyes lingering just a little bit longer on me. _He's probably trying to think of the best way to get me alone,_ I thought. I didn't know, but he was, just not in the way I was thinking. Just as he turned to leave, Dr. Simmons called him back.

"Do you mind showing the Hummel's around? You'll be excused from your classes for the rest of the day, not that there's much left," he asked. _Please no, if there's a god out there please say no,_ I thought.

"Not at all!" said Blaine happily. _And this is why I don't believe in god_, I thought bitterly. "Blaine Anderson sir," he said, shaking my dad, Carole and Finn's hands. I shook my head again when he offered his hand to me.

"Nice to meet you," said my dad.

We left the office. They waited patiently for me as I got my schedule and a couple of other things, making it obvious to Blaine that I was the transfer.

"Have you got your uniform yet?" Blaine asked me when I left the office. I had seen him talking politely with my family as I talked to the woman at the desk. I shook my head. I think he tried to grab my arm to lead me to the place Dr. Simmons had mentioned but I shied away quickly, disguising it as walking closer to my dad, turning my head to hide the fear in my face. He looked at me with a faked look of surprise and concern. _Great, he noticed_, I thought. At least he didn't make another move to touch me, but instead chattered on about random nonsense I didn't bother listening to. He gestured to the office door as a silent question if I was ready to go. I walked out, keeping as much distance as possible between the two of us. He led us across the room to another door. This one was wooden again, but stood out amongst the others as it was painted navy and red, the school's colors and had a large logo. There was also a sign that read '_Student Merchandise_'.

I walked in carefully taking in my surroundings. On one side was a large section of hoodies, t shirts, and track pants, even pyjamas that stated the school's name or logo. In one corner there were mugs, water bottles, lanyards and other things like that also with the logo. In the same area were school supplies (pencils, a couple binders, paper, pens, etc.) that were available to buy. In the back left were the uniforms.

A young woman came up and asked if we needed help. My dad explained what we wanted and she set me up in a change room. The uniforms weren't the greatest, but they could have been worse. At least I'd fit in. With Blaine's suggestions, we bought the set Dr. Simmons had mentioned, along with an extra pair of pants, 5 pairs of socks, a hoodie, pyjamas and track pants. Blaine swore the last three items were the comfiest he'd ever found. I didn't try them on. I knew I wouldn't stick out too much if I wore the hoodie out of school hours.

My dad suggested that we bring the uniforms to the car and drive over to the dorm building. That's how I ended up tucked up against the window as close as possible in the backseat with Blaine right beside me giving clear directions. I got out immediately when we parked, moving to the trunk to start bringing out lighter boxes.

"What room are you in?" Blaine asked curiously, a little too close for my liking.

I jumped and mumbled 231, not expecting him to hear me. He did though.

"Cool! We're on the same floor!" said Blaine. "I'm 217."

I nodded, unsure what to say. I wasn't sure if I was glad or not that our room were so close. I decided I wasn't. Someone knew of my existence and what room to vandalize now.

He took a box, the one with my clothes. I brought loose jeans, t shirts and I bought a few bags of clothes from Abercrombie, Hollister and Aeropostale. I had gotten to be less noticeable and more like everyone else in the way I dressed. I didn't need to stick out. We walked up the stairs carrying boxes and down the hall. I noticed when we passed 217. My dad and Finn put down their boxes next to room 231 and went back for the last few boxes. I set mine with theirs and took out my key.

The room was bigger than I expected, but still smaller than my own. I expected a single bed but was pleased when I saw a double bed with the headboard against the wall. The sheets looked new to my liking. A large wooden desk was placed under a window which from what I could see had a nice view of the grounds. Two night tables were on either side of the bed and were in the same type of wood as the desk, closet, both doors (the second which I hoped led to a bathroom), and the baseboards. The cream walls contrasted nicely against the dark wood-not that New Kurt noticed. _Old Kurt would have been pleased_, I thought to myself. The closet wasn't very big though. I didn't care now but Old Kurt would have been furious. I opened the second door and found an en suite bathroom. It wasn't very big, but it was there. The porcelain sink and the toilet were clean, as was the shower. There were a few shelves. I didn't have much use for them now that I no longer had a moisturizing routine or styled my hair. It was small but it would do.

We all set our boxes down just as my dad and Finn came with the last few.

"If you'll excuse me, I need to go to a meeting," said Blaine. Maybe he noticed my family was about to leave and was going to give him privacy. Maybe he was going to tell his friends that there was fresh meat. I didn't know. "Kurt, I'll drop by before dinner and show you around."

Before I had a chance to tell him it wasn't necessary, that I had a map, Carole cut in.

"That would be lovely," she said, giving him a warm, motherly smile. "Thank you Blaine."

"Not a problem Mrs. Hummel," Blaine responded with a polite gentlemanly charm. "I know from experience Dalton is a pretty big school and is very easy to get lost in. Now if you'll excuse me." He nodded to us, adding a smile for me and left.

"That was nice of him," said Carole.

"Sure," I mumbled. It was more likely that he only wanted to look good for the parents and attack me when they were gone.

We stood together, silent.

My dad cleared his throat. "Well we should get going kiddo."

I nodded slowly. "Okay," I whispered.

He pulled me into a gentle embrace. I tensed, but relaxed a second later. "It'll get better kiddo. This school will help if you let it."

I didn't believe him, and I certainly wouldn't let it, but I nodded anyways to give him some piece of mind. He pulled back slightly.

"If you have any problems, let me know. Call us Kurt. I don't care if it's at two in the morning. If you feel you need to, call us. We don't want to be left in the dark."

"I will," I lied. Sure I'd call, but I'd keep the torment from the students to myself.

"You'll be okay?" he asked me.

I nodded. "Of course."

I wasn't sure if he believed me or not, but he didn't push the matter. "Do you need help unpacking?" I shook my head. "Alright. Are you going to get started on that now or are you coming to the car to say goodbye?"

I heard the bell ring in the distance signalling the end of classes. "I'll stay here."

My dad nodded, his mouth tightening. He heard the bell and knew it was the reason. "You'll be home for Friday Night Dinner?"

"Of course dad, I wouldn't miss it," I promised. I learned my lesson from last time. "I'll be fine. You can leave."

He nodded reluctantly. "See you later kiddo, call us after classes tomorrow."

I nodded and my dad left the room, glancing back frequently.

Carole pulled me into a tight hug. I winced and she let go. "Have fun sweetheart. Try and make some friends."

I nodded. "Sure." I wouldn't.

She gave me a look. I held my unwavering gaze. "See you Friday," she said. I nodded again and she left.

Then it was me and Finn left. Finn stood awkwardly. "I'll see you later dude."

I didn't care if he called me dude anymore. Finn seemed upset that I didn't try to tell him off. "Right."

"Dude if you need anything, call me. I can bring clothes and stuff if you decide you want them."

I appreciated the fact that he used the word 'if' instead of 'when'. Everyone seemed to expect me to turn back into my old self, but I knew that wasn't going to happen. Not after the abuse I had suffered.

"And if anyone gives you trouble Kurt, let me know. I'll come and teach them a lesson if I need to. Don't take their crap."

Just another instance where Finn was trying to make up for past mistakes. "I will."

He nodded. "See you then dude."

I waved goodbye. Just as he was exiting the door he turned back. "Call the glee club. Don't push us away. We want to be there for you whether you're a member or not."

"I can't make any promises," I said. If it was my dad I would have told him I would, but with Finn I felt like I could be more honest. Not completely though. He wouldn't get a call if someone was treating me badly.

"And start singing again," he said. Then he was gone.

I sat down on my bed gingerly, blinking my teas away. I was alone now. There was no one I could confide in nearby. I stood back up slowly and took my uniforms out of its packaging. There were hangers present in the closet so I hung up each piece carefully. Then there was a knock on the door.

I was surprised when it was Blaine. I didn't expect him to turn up, much less without henchmen. I thought him coming to give me a tour was a joke. Then again, he wouldn't be able to attack, or shall I use the word 'initiate' me into the halls of Dalton Academy.

"Hi!" he said with a happy smile on his face. I didn't say anything. I just stared back. His grin faltered, but only for a moment. "So are you ready to go?" I raised an eyebrow. He wasn't serious? "For the grand tour!" he said, holding out his arms in a grand gesture.

I was about to shake my head to tell him to leave when he reached towards me. I backed away quickly, ignoring the shout of complaint my body gave me while I felt terror explode within me. He must have seen the terrified look on my face and the fearful body language I was showing because he immediately backed up two large steps and held up both his hands by his head.

"I'm not going to hurt you," he said calmly, looking to the ground to show he wasn't trying to intimidate me, almost like what a wolf or another animal would do to show submission to their superior. "I just want to help you and make your first day easier."

I doubted that but for some reason beyond my comprehension I found myself nodding. He wouldn't try to drag me with him this way. I slowly slipped out of my door, my injuries not only making me move at such a listless pace. I was reluctant to go, but something told me this guy would keep pushing. He was small, but obviously much stronger than me. Maybe his punches would be softer if I was willing.

I stayed a couple feet away from him at all times. If he tried to close that distance even slightly, I'd move further away. I could feel my heart pound and my pulse race. I was beyond uncomfortable with him. It wasn't until we got to the room where we first entered the dorm buildingthat I couldn't take it.

I hadn't noticed the couches, chairs, TVs and everything else you would find in a lounge or common room when I first walked in. It must have been a popular spot with the sheer number of students sitting and making too much noise in my opinion, even though it wasn't that much. I was never this freaked out at McKinley, even after the incident. But then again I had an enormous step brother to protect me there. Everyone was talking, joking around with one another. I had frozen without realizing. Blaine hadn't either. I noticed a few students go up to Blaine and say hi. Then those students were replaced by others.

Oh great, this guy was popular too, just another reason for him to attack me and use me to take out all of his frustrations. Then again, I wasn't worth more than that.

Two guys came up and patted Blaine on the back, nuggieing his head.

"Enough gel?" asked the taller, broad African-American male.

"No such thing," said Blaine playfully.

Old Kurt would have made a comment right there. He would have said something along the lines of, "Obviously there is. Want an example? Look in the mirror." But Old Kurt was gone. New Kurt stayed silent, trying to be as small and unnoticeable as possible to avoid being seen.

"Where did you go? You weren't there for 6th period," said the other. The Asian was shorter than the African-American but still taller than Blaine.

"I was helping show a new student around," said Blaine. He noticed my missing presence and started glancing around the room. I could see the worried, confused expression he wore for show. Was he really that surprised I hadn't figured out his plan?"

"You would Anderson," said the African-American.

Blaine locked eyes with mine. I tensed, he relaxed. He gestured me over with a smile. I shook my head a fraction. I wouldn't ask to be attacked.

"Guys, this is Kurt," said Blaine, leading them over.

"Nice to meet you Kurt," said the Asian. "I'm Wes."

"David," said the tallest. "Welcome to Dalton!"

The large male's hand sweeped towards me at an alarming pace. _Oh god he's going to hit me_, I screamed internally. It was a fight or flight situation and since I didn't have any fight left, I fled.

The only place that came to my mind was my room at home, or my dad's arms, but I couldn't get to either of those places. My Navigator was at my dad's shop for repairs from the last time the Neanderthals had vandalized it. My only other option being my dorm, I fled to it, locking the door behind me. I heard Blaine calling after me and pounding on my door. I lay down on my back, shaking on the bed. After about a while, I finally stopped trembling. The loud rapping had stopped. I saw the clock read 6:37. I was hungry, but there was no way I'd be going to the dining hall for supper.

I started unpacking boxes. First I took out my iPod dock. When I set that up I found some Mellencamp and put that on. Everything I had on my iPod before the incident had been removed. If I had Lady Gaga, Broadway and Madonna on it'd be obvious I was nothing more than a fag. I heard some more knocking after a few minutes but forced myself to ignore it.

It was a quarter to eight when I got too hungry to stand it. That was strange. I'd stopped eating a lot a while ago. Since I didn't deserve to live, why should I? I'd never cut myself, or try to commit suicide. That would only hurt my dad. I didn't want that, so lack of food was the best option. I didn't throw up after eating, I just wasn't hungry. Ever.

I knew the place closed at eight, so if I found it quick enough, then I could have something small to eat.

I opened my door cautiously, peeking my head out left and right. No one was there so I took a hesitant step forwards, my foot hitting something. Was there a trip line? I looked down and saw a bowl of soup, a salad and a bun sitting by my door with a note on top from Blaine.

"_I noticed you weren't at dinner, so I got you something to eat – Blaine"_

I debated for a while whether to pick it up or not. I did when I realized 8 o'clock had passed. It was probably drugged or spiked or something but I couldn't care. It's not like anyone would care if I was hung over in the morning. The food was still warm. It had a satisfying taste to it. I wasn't sure quite why. The food was nothing special.

I fell asleep soon after taking a shower and dressing into the Dalton pyjamas that were indeed quite comfortable.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>So please tell me what you thought! Leave a review and let me know if you have time. Do you guys have any ideas on what the incident might be? I know.

I always love getting story alerts, favorites, reviews, etc. so if you want to keep reading shoot me one of those ;)

Thanks for giving this a shot!


	2. Chapter 2

**Genre: **Angst/Hurt/Comfort/Romance

**Rating: **T for violence, swearing and harsh language that does not include swearing.

****Summary**:** After the abuse suffered at McKinley, Kurt transfers to Dalton, fearful of all the students. Will a group project help him realize that not everyone is out to hurt him?

**Warnings**: Extremely angsty, possible triggers

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Glee. Title comes from the song 'Skyscraper' by Demi Lovato.

****Author's Note: ****I am SO sorry for the long wait for this! I can't believe it took me this long. I was sick earlier this week so that was most of the reason.

Thank you SO much for all the kind feedback! Already 22 reviews! Thank you so much! Hopefully you'll enjoy this chapter :)

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><p><strong>Chapter 2<strong>

I sit up quickly, panting, covered in sweat, wiping the tears that had fallen in my fitful sleep. The nightmares of the incident happened frequently, sometimes more than once a night. I was confused to see this wasn't my room. The memories of the previous day rushed passed me. I wasn't at home, I remembered. I was at Dalton, in my dorm, two hours away from my room.

I looked over to my alarm clock. It wasn't six yet but I got up anyways. I wouldn't be falling asleep again for risk of another nightmare. I was barely sleeping as it was to avoid them, but of course I needed sleep so unfortunately the nightmares came anyways.

I decided to take a shower to get all of the sweat that was drying off of my skin. I found a towel and took it into the bathroom along with my uniform. I hadn't been sure if they provided towels when I was packing so I brought a few just in case. It turned out they did, but mine were softer. I'd just use theirs when my skin was less sensitive.

I slowly took off the pyjamas I wore leaving them in a crumpled pile once they were changed out of. Mistakenly, I glanced into the mirror. What was once a fit, healthy form was now thin, ragged and tired. My pale skin, which was once flawless was now more like the one of a used toy doll, one that looked ready to fall apart with stains of color all over its fabric. My bruises were layered. The black, blue, purple and yellow stood out greatly against one another. I also had a series of cuts and scars, some visible over the bruising, most not. Some had begun to heal, most hadn't had a chance to.

I tore my eyes away and turned on the shower to warm and waited as it got to the temperature I wanted. Normally I would turn it on hotter but my skin was too delicate to take much heat at the moment. I washed my hair slowly, as moving my arms took much effort and ignoring of pain, not that it mattered to anyone how I felt. It was seven when I got out of the bathroom, my hair still drying, my face slightly blotchy. Old Kurt never would have come out of the bathroom without being perfectly ready and looking flawless. I didn't give a damn how I looked. People were going to judge me anyways.

Since it was still early, I figured I might as well go down and get something to eat before the mass of boys woke up and demanded food. I double checked I had my key and walked out of my dorm with my map, glancing around to see if anyone was awake.

I walked through the hallway down towards the staircase while I looked over my map. I couldn't tell which building was the dorm building and which housed the cafeteria. I wasn't sure what buildings my classes were in. It would certainly be a long day trying to figure out where everything was.

I walked out of the building and noticed a sign that said _Macintyre Building_. _Well that makes things slightly easier_, I thought, looking back to the map. There were at least seven buildings labeled on the piece of paper I had been given yesterday. I found which one was Macintyre Building and turned right to go in the direction I thought that Holston Building, where the dining hall was housed.

But of course things couldn't have been easy. It was ten minutes later and I still hadn't reached it. I guessed either the campus was twice the size it looked or I had gone in the wrong direction. Of course it wasn't the former so I turned around. After a few minutes, I heard a group coming so I got off the path and hid behind a tree. It may have looked stupid, but I didn't want to be noticed by the group as they passed. I didn't want to be laughed at because I was confused.

"Dude, I'm totally craving bacon right now."

"That's why we're going to the dining hall Thompson."

A minute after they passed I crept out of my hiding place. Luckily they were still in sight. It turned out I had been going in the right direction. Or maybe they were going to a different hall. According to my map there were four.

We arrived at a building that looked just like all the other ones. It wasn't Holston though. It was Lancaster. How I'd remember which was which I didn't know. I could always ask Dr. Simmons though, and have him mock me behind my back. I followed the group down two hallways to a set of doors which were open and led to a room with a counter all along one end where a long line of students were giving orders for their meals. _Great, now people can all stare at the new piece of meat like hungry dogs_, I thought bitterly to myself.

I slipped into line, keeping my eyes firmly to the ground, not looking to see which students were the ones to avoid. In my eyes, they all were. When it was my turn, I asked simply for some toast. The woman behind gave me a strange look. Most boys would be asking for large elaborate meals, not...toast. Then again, I wasn't 'most boys'. According to some people I wasn't a boy at all.

When I got my meal I slipped out of the line. I glanced around the cafeteria, noticing a few boys looking at me curiously as I did so. I looked away from them quickly. Maybe they'd leave me alone if I didn't bother them. No tables were open so I decided to try and find my way back to my room. I could eat on the way.

I put down the tray and plate on top of one of the garbage bins and left the dining hall. Luckily I remembered where the exit was. My directional skills were decent so I quickly found Macintyre building. I saw Blaine leave his dorm with a messenger bag strapped over his shoulder as I wandered to my own. I walked slightly quicker, moving a little bit closer to the wall in hopes of him not noticing me. But of course he did.

"Kurt!" I heard him call. "Hey! How was your night?" he asked sauntering over and walking next to me.

I looked away from him and walked a little bit faster, not noticeable to anyone but me. I didn't like him so close to me. It would be too easy to just push me into the wall.

"What's your first class?" he asked. "I'll take you there to make up for yesterday. Sorry about that by the way. David can be a bit overbearing at times," I didn't listen to him explain. I had gotten to my dorm and was trying to unlock it.

When I finally did, after having troubles with the key because of being nervous around the shorter boy, I slipped in but wasn't able to close the door quick enough. Blaine entered the room behind me. I hadn't put up anything personal, save for the framed picture of my mother and I beside my bed so he wouldn't learn anything interesting about me.

"You're not done unpacking?" Blaine asked. I didn't know what he was talking about. The boxes were all empty and sitting by my door. He seemed to sense my confusion which worried me. If he could sense confusion, he could sense other things. Like the fact that I'm gay and worthless, or that it'd be very easy to cause me pain right now. "You can hang things up on the walls," he added. "Most people do."

I wasn't most people though. Most people weren't tortured because of who they were. Most people hadn't experienced what it was like to be locked in a locker overnight. Most people hadn't experienced being thrown into dumpsters. Most people never had a slushy thrown at them.

I got my books, which I laid out last night and left my dorm, locking it when Blaine was out. I had my schedule sitting on top of my notebook and it caught Blaine's attention.

"Oh, is that your schedule?" he asked, taking it out of my grip before I had a chance to protest. He looked it over and grinned. "We have English Lit and Music together."

I nodded slowly. So I'd have to deal with him more than in the halls? That was just what I needed. But chances were we wouldn't have to sit beside each other.

"I'll take you to your history class," he said, giving me back my schedule.

"No, that's okay," I whispered. It wasn't loud enough for him to hear though.

"What are you waiting for?" he asked as he started down the hall. "Come on!"

My legs began to move slowly, reluctantly, as I began my walk towards him. I was uncomfortable around him. It was unreasonable, but it felt like he could easily figure out ways to torment me simply by being in my presence, as if that wasn't torment enough. I didn't like being near people since the bullying augmented.

I didn't want to have to deal with Blaine. As soon as I could figure out which buildings my classes were in I could avoid seeing him. I didn't want to ask, but it would help me in the long shot. I braced myself for abuse before asking what was in each building.

Blaine smiled when I spoke willingly before answering. "You know Macintyre houses the dorms. Holston, that's where your first class is, has all of the social sciences, like history and geography. Windsor has all the regular sciences as well as the maths. Then there's Tudor which has all of the languages and the main office and student store. Dalton offers English, French, Italian, Spanish and Latin courses and they're all in that building. Stuart building is where all the athletics take place. It's kind of like a big YMCA in there, with a pool and then a whole whack of courts for different sports. Students can go in there whenever after and before school, as well as during lunch. Lancaster has classes like foods, home economics and wood shop. And then lastly, my favourite building, York, which is where all the arts classes and clubs are," Blaine explained. "It's pretty easy once you get used to it. And it's not that hard of a layout either. Just think of it as a circle with Macintyre in the middle. Directly North is Holston, and then the buildings go in alphabetical order clockwise."

Well I didn't doubt that made things easier. Unless he was purposely trying to confuse me and get me late by giving me the wrong information, I would get to all my classes on time without his help. We walked outside and I held my books a little bit tighter. It would be so easy for him to have people ready to jump me out here.

"We have like, four dining halls," Blaine continued. So he was going to explain that? "Lancaster's has breakfast, Holston has lunch and Windsor has dinner. It's kind of weird, but whatever. On some days Tudor has food for cultural celebrations and whatnot. Other than that, it's not used other than for things with parents and other important people."

Blaine was leading me over to another building. Thankfully, he hadn't tried to touch me again. I glanced at the sign as we entered and it was Holston.

"What room is your class in?" Blaine asked me.

I looked at my schedule. "146."

"Okay, that's just down here," he answered. "The buildings all have the same layout, except for the dorms," he said. "So if you figure one out, you've got them all down. It's a square so you shouldn't be able to get lost. On the left are the even numbered rooms and on the right are the odd numbered rooms. There are lots of hallways, but they're mostly all just shortcuts. If you stick to the outside hall you'll be fine to find your classes."

Why was he being so nice to me? I didn't get it. He had no reason to, no obligations to me. No one was just that kind. I knew that from experience. No one would step out of their way to help someone unless there was something in it for them. I wondered what was in it for Blaine, why he was faking his kindness. He probably had a bet with his friends.

We made it to my classroom but the teacher had yet to arrive. Was it even the right one? What if Blaine was lying about the buildings and had been leading me to the wrong class?

"Mr. Turner is usually late," Blaine said as if he were reading my mind. _Sure he is, _I snapped back bitterly in my mind. "He's pretty strict but he teaches well. Are you planning on joining any extracurricular activities?"

I shook my head. No way in hell would I be joining anything. I was here to get my classes done and avoid the dangers I faced at McKinley. I didn't know what was shunned here and there was no way I'd be at the bottom of the food chain because I joined the wrong club.

"You should!" said Blaine excitedly. "Do you sing? I could get you an audition with the Warblers, our a cappella group."

I shook my head. I didn't sing. Not anymore. I quit glee club after the incident. There was more than one reason. I had told Finn it was because the simple dancing hurt too much to do but there was more to it than that. The negative attention of the popular jocks was always put on glee club. I had thought quitting would make me less of a target, but of course it hadn't done a thing. The jocks understood that I had been kicked out because the rest of New Directions hadn't wanted me to spread my gayness around to the others. The fact that they didn't try hard to get me to re-join, with the exception of Finn, didn't help but make me think they were right. Mr. Schue never gave anyone but Finn and Rachel solos, and Mercedes got to sing the loud, high notes at the end. I wasn't worth anything in the club. They wouldn't miss another person swaying in the background. I was replaceable.

"Oh, that's too bad," said Blaine, sounding disappointed. He was a pretty good actor from what I could tell. "We have a French Club?" he said, making it sound more like a question. "I noticed you were taking French."

I shook my head again. Maybe Old Kurt would have liked that.

"Well I'm sure we can find somewhere for you," said Blaine optimistically. Yeah, like a locked janitor's closet, or a dumpster.

I heard footsteps so I turned. A middle aged man was walking down the hall carrying a few textbooks and binders. He had plain black slacks and a striped blue dress shirt on.

"Hi Mr. Turner," said Blaine politely.

"I don't want you loitering down here so early," he answered giving Blaine and I a glare. I turned away quickly. I had become very submissive when hateful actions were presented to me. "First bell hasn't even rung yet and neither of you have a detention. I don't even know who _you_ are!" he said gesturing to me.

"This is Kurt Hummel," said Blaine. "It's his first day. I was just showing him around."

Mr. Turner started to unlock his door. "Ah. Well in that case that's fine. I'll take it from here, you go off to whatever class you have."

"Yes sir," said Blaine. "See you later Kurt! I'll come take you to English Lit!" he added before walking off.

I followed Mr. Turner uncertainly into the classroom. It was just like any other classroom. A whiteboard free of any marks was in the front of the class. There were desks lined up in perfect aisles taking up most of the space in the room. They didn't seem to have any marks or gum on them which was strange. A garbage can sat next to Mr. Turner's desk, a wooden and ordinary piece of furniture. There were a couple maps on the wall and posters of famous historical people. There was a projector on the side of the room on a moveable cart with a large binder sitting on the shelf underneath it.

"So you're the new kid?" he asked me.

I nodded slightly. "Yes sir," I mumbled.

"Speak up!" he said roughly. "I can't hear what you're saying!"

I flinched. "Yes sir," I said louder.

"You okay?" he asked, looking up at me. The tremble had been obvious in my voice.

I nodded, feeling the need to run. I couldn't exactly leave but I did step back a few steps.

He nodded understandingly. "Zero Harassment Policy interest you?" he asked. I nodded carefully. "Thought so," he said. He put his things down and handed me one of the textbooks. "This is yours," he said. "One twenty if you lose it. These are the notes we've taken, and this is the work I want you to do," he said, handing me two binders. "The dates they're due is on each sheet. Hand them in to me at the start of class."

"Yes sir," I whispered.

"You can sit there," he gestured. The bell rang loudly causing me to jump and hurry back to my assigned seat. It was by the window, about halfway down the row of desks.

A couple students walked in, joking loudly as they sat in desks. As more filled in, the class got louder, but it was still quieter than it had ever been in classes at McKinley. A couple people sat in the desks in front of me and beside me.

"I'm so pumped about later," the brunet in front of me said. "They're going to eat it up."

"Obviously," said the blonde sitting next to him. "I mean we _are _the Warblers." He turned to me. "Hey! Are you new?"

I jumped slightly at being addressed to. I gave a small nod.

"Cool! I'm Jeff Sterling!" he said, holding out his hand.

I looked firmly at the books in front of me. Maybe I could bring a book to read tomorrow? They wouldn't bother me if I was reading, would they? No, they probably would. It was worth a shot though.

"I'm Nick Duval," said the boy in front of me, the brunet.

The second bell rang signalling the start of class and everyone stopped talking and turned to the front of the class. It was like they were programmed robots. If we were at McKinley, the teacher would spend the next ten minutes trying to get everyone to quiet down. It was different, but not unwelcome.

"Alright," began Mr. Turner. "We have a new student," he said, gesturing to me. I felt the class all turn to look at me. Some were smiling, some were curious, some seemed neutral. I felt my face heat up and I looked back to the books in front of me. "Now for the rest of the period we'll be taking notes on the English Revolutions," he began.

I pulled out a pen as he started the projector. Throughout the class we took the detailed notes while he explained what they were about. From that one class I knew I would have to work hard to keep up my GPA. I hadn't looked through the binders yet, but if their weight was enough to go by, it would be a challenging work load.

I didn't wait for Blaine to take me to the next class. I walked as quickly and painlessly as I could to put down my books in my dorm because they were too heavy to carry to English. Finding the building was easy enough, the class not so much. It was in one of the side hallways Blaine had mentioned, but I walked through the doors a few minutes before the bell rang and walked up to the teacher.

He was slightly taller than me and wore a grey vest over a white dress shirt with black pants. His light brown hair was slightly styled. He looked about in his late 20s.

"Hello good sir! What can I do for you this fine day?" he asked.

"I'm new here," I said quietly.

"Lovely!" he said. "I will get you your work."

"Thank you," I whispered.

"Sit wherever you like," he said.

I turned and saw the desks were in pairs. Most of them already had students sitting in them. I saw a desk with both seats empty and sat down in the one farther away. Mr. Adams, according to the nameplate on his desk, came up and gave me a pile of books and duotangs. I looked at them nervously.

"Get these done by exams and you'll be fine," he said.

I nodded. That would give me time to go through everything. I saw Blaine come through the door quickly looking worried. He looked around the room and grinned when he saw me. He wandered towards me and sat in the desk next to me.

"There you are!" he exclaimed. "I was worried when you weren't in your history class. I said I'd take you here. I'm glad you found your way here okay," he looked at the books Mr. Adams brought me which I had put on the desk beside me, the one Blaine was sitting in.

"Is that your makeup work?" he asked. "That's not bad. How was Turner's? That'll be tough to get done. I have a few friends in that class that I could get to help you if you want," he Blaine suggested.

I shook my head. I could get it done on my own. I'd just have to stay in my room or the library. Alone, for a long time each night. That was kind of my plan when it would be done.

"Are you sure?" Blaine asked. "They wouldn't mind."

I shook my head and the bell rang. Like the last class everyone stopped talking and started to pay attention to the teacher.

"Turn to Chapter Two of _The Hunger Games_," Mr. Adams said. I found the book in the pile, moving them off of Blaine's desk and opened to the right page. I was surprised to be reading this, it was such a modern book, one that I'd heard good things about.

Instead of having us read it silently, or have us read paragraphs out loud, he read it to us. It was very entertaining. He made up different voices for each character. Sometimes mixing up their voices and then switching voices. I probably would have laughed along with the class in normal circumstances, but I didn't. I did almost manage a smile though. The teacher was great, very dramatic in his reading. He would be a good drama teacher. Halfway through the chapter I saw a slip of paper be put on my desk.

_He's my drama teacher too. He's AMAZING. His classes are so much fun! :) You can find him singing in the halls all the time._

I wasn't surprised. I didn't write back, but I saw Blaine look at me when I read it. I saw him take back the paper and write something else after a few minutes.

_How do you find Dalton so far? I'll take you to your next class. Home Economics am I correct?_

I didn't answer, choosing to instead keep listening to Mr. Adams as he read the book. It was pretty good so far which was good. I was used to reading boring books at McKinley. When he handed out a question sheet, I read the first chapter instead of doing them. I could do them tonight. But first I wanted to get caught up in the reading for this book. Blaine passed a few more notes during this time, but none of them were answered.

The bell rang just as I finished. I quickly gathered my things and shot out of the classroom before Blaine had a chance to talk to me. I heard him call after me but I ignored him. I heard a door slam and I jumped high, pushing myself tightly up against the wall. I dropped my books. Once I realized there were no brutish jocks in Letterman's jackets, I picked them up and ran for it.

Carrying the books made me miss my messenger bag. It was good to carry things around in, but it was too gay. I remembered Blaine had one. I wondered if others used them or if it was just him. Would I fit in if I had one? I glanced around and noticed about no one had one. Oh well, I could live without it.

The class was easy to find. Blaine's words from the morning had been helpful.

Home Economics was fairly basic. I had a few projects to do for makeup work, but as it was mostly sewing, I wouldn't have any problems with it. I was good at it from all my practice repairing my own clothes-not that I'd be doing that anymore of course.

I followed everyone down to what I thought was the dining room for lunch. I couldn't remember where it was so following the crowd seemed like the best option. We left the building and headed for another. I remembered it was Holston that had lunch.

I took my meal up to my dorm and started to work on history. I didn't get much done, but I was able to start the readings of what I would have to hand in tomorrow.

By the time the second bell rang for fourth period, I was already sitting in my French class. The teacher was talking quickly in French. Surprisingly, the students actually looked like they understood. I had taught myself French years ago and was proud to be fluent in it. Even so, I had a fair bit of makeup work to do, but it wouldn't take too much time.

I walked over to York building. I heard someone call my name so I stopped and turned around. Blaine was heading towards me grinning. I turned around and kept walking. I didn't want him following me. But my gait was slow because of my injuries so he caught up easily.

"Hey Kurt!" he said walking up next to me. "Ready to head to music?" I suddenly remembered we had the same class and bit back a sigh.

It wasn't that Blaine had done anything to me yet. But I knew something was coming. He seemed to want to be friends, but I didn't want friends. Friends didn't really care. And family only did because it was an obligation. If it wasn't for Finn being my brother, he wouldn't have noticed anything was going on. Or maybe he would have, except he would have just sat on the sidelines and watched it happen like everyone else did. New Directions didn't notice. There were times they did see but they didn't ask me if I was okay. At first they helped me clean up after getting a slushy facial but that stopped when they got frequent. But there was the time that they stood up for me when it was getting really bad. Maybe they did care, they just didn't show it.

In my thoughts, I hadn't realized we had reached the class. I noticed Blaine looked like a kicked puppy. Had he been trying to talk to me? I had begun a habit of nodding or shaking my head when I wasn't listening. Sometimes it caused problems, like me doing something strenuous and others it didn't make a difference. I didn't care to ask what I had agreed or disagreed to.

We arrived at the classroom and Blaine went with me as I went to talk to the teacher. She was pretty. Old Kurt would have loved her outfit. I recognized some of McQueen's pieces from the last Vogue issue I read. Her dark hair was loose around her face. She wasn't very old, maybe in her early 30s.

"Hey Mrs. Daniels," said Blaine happily.

"Hey Blaine," the woman responded. She had a kind voice. "What can I do for you?" she asked, before looking to me. "Oh! You must be Kurt!" she said. "I'm Mrs. Daniels, I'm your music teacher. You can go sit down Blaine, thank you," she said. "So we do a few different things in this class. We have units about specific types of music and a little bit of the history of it. At the end of each class we'll give some time to have some people perform songs they've prepared. It isn't necessary, but it's fun. You don't have to be a talented singer to do so. If you want to sing, go for it! We don't do much theoretical work because I find that pretty boring. I can't exactly explain the class, but a lot of students really enjoy it. We're learning the differences between types of music right now and in two weeks or so we'll be starting a group project on an assigned type. I don't really have any makeup work, but just read over this and you should be okay," she explained, handing me about ten sheets of paper. That wasn't too bad compared to some of my other classes. I could get it done tonight.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"Not a problem," she said smiling warmly. "Come talk to me if you have any troubles."

"Where would you like me to sit?" I asked.

"Wherever you want. As long as you don't talk and pay attention, I don't care," she said.

I nodded and turned to look at the class. The desks were grouped in bunches of four. I saw Blaine gesture to a seat beside him. It was the only free seat other than one by a bunch of large, obviously athletic guys so I had no choice but to sit beside him.

The two boys from yesterday, Wes and David, also were at this table.

"Good to see you again Kurt," said David.

"I hope your first day is going well?" Wes asked. I nodded uncertainly.

Blaine seemed happy that I had chosen his seat. "This class is good too," he said. "It's tied with Mr. Adams'. Actually no, I like it better. He comes in here sometimes and helps out."

I wasn't sure what to say so I settled on reading the notes she gave me. I could feel Blaine looking at me and it was making me uncomfortable. I didn't want to have him judge me and make fun of me when I wasn't around. It was unavoidable though. When the bell rang I looked up and listened to Mrs. Daniels teach. It was fairly interesting talking about where exactly certain genres came from. I found the class went by quickly, because it was soon time for physics.

I wasn't sure why I found it so interesting. I'd had no interest in music since before my quitting of glee club. It never made a difference, never helped me in my time of need. Singing about my feelings just made me depressed, singing about happy things even more so. Listening to it didn't do a thing. Nevertheless, it was a good class.

"Where are you headed?" asked Blaine as I left the room. I moved farther away from him because he was too close for my comfort.

"Physics," I mumbled before stopping and turning the opposite corner he was, much to his confusion.

I sat down in Physics, being given as much work as History and English put together. Physics wasn't my strongest subject. I knew this before stepping into a class where the students were at a level far beyond my comprehension. Fifteen minutes before the end of class, the teacher let us out. I wasn't sure why, because all of the other classes were being let out too.

_Why are we going here?_ I thought as I followed the crowd into Macintyre building.

We seemed to be going to a different commons type area down a hallway I hadn't been in before. I saw the boys from my history talking to a few others. Wes and David were talking with another boy and Blaine. Blaine caught my eye and grinned, sending me a wave. I looked away, confused. I saw a bunch of boys get together in a formation with Blaine out in the front as chords started to play.

Blaine opened his mouth, staring straight at me and started to sing. I didn't deny his voice was spectacular but I didn't care for music anymore so I left.

I had homework to do anyways.

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><p>I googled royal family names for the buildings. Mr. Adams was actually a substitute teacher last year at my school for most of second semester. He is awesome. I never had him teach me, but he is.<p>

Thanks to spitsgirl18 and connellymack for their help with this!

If there's anything you would like to say or see let me know!

I'll try to get chapter 3 up soon.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello! So this is shorter than the last updates and I apologize, but I need to get this out before the bulk of the story begins.**

**A lot of you want Kurt to open up to Blaine, but that won't be happening for a while, at least not completely. He has his reasons-I swear. I gave some small pieces of information, but not much. **

**I got a review asking about New Direction's opinions on Kurt's transfer as I was writing the first part. I found that kind of strange. So you get your answers ****KurtsiesLover****!**

**I added a new one-shot based around the song Reflection from Blaine's POV before we met him. I might continue it but as it's gotten hardly any response, chances are I'll leave it. Its main category is angst and since this is angsty (but less in this chapter...) you might like it. So go check that out and thanks to those of you who have!**

**Just a warning: my November schedule is INSANE. After the 14****th****, I'll have almost no free time so if I don't update for weeks, blame my school musical. I play clarinet in the orchestra. It ends December 3****rd**** so updates will return around then for sure. I'll try and get an update in between now and the 14****th****. I will get one in, what am I saying?**

**Go read ****spitsgirl18****'s stories. She is awesome.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 3<strong>

After I left the performance, I went to my room to start working on the homework. But I soon realized Blaine knew where my dorm was, so I went to the library. Maybe I could explore later, find somewhere where not many people knew about and hide out there most of the time.

The beginning of the performance made me feel odd. I hadn't put a name to the emotion. It was like I had something pull at me and urge me to join in. But I didn't want to join. No one ever appreciated my voice, and just because I was at a different school, people's opinions about my voice wouldn't just change. I'd just sway in the background. Leaving cleared that feeling.

I crept into the library, surprisingly finding a large number of students. There was an empty table in a more secluded area. I took out the pages Mrs. Daniels had given me and read through those. At least one class's work would be done easily.

I continued to slowly make my way through the work I had been given, starting with history. The work he wanted due tomorrow was long, but not overly difficult. After glancing through the rest of Mr. Turner's make-up work, I noticed the difficulty level would be changing soon. French was more of a challenge than I expected. I wasn't sure if I was pleased or not about that. I had never had to work in French, so it would be a change. I started to try and make my way through the Physics work, but after a few questions, I stopped to avoid a headache. So I alternated questions between reading chapters from the books Mr. Adams gave me.

It was a while later when I left. It looked like more students had arrived while others left. Seeing as it was 7:30, I left to go to Windsor to get something small to eat. I ended up getting a sandwich, technically half. The lettuce was fresh, surprisingly.

When I got to my dorm, I wasn't quite sure what to do. Old Kurt would have figured something out immediately, but he didn't exist anymore. It was decided for me when my phone rang. I checked the caller ID before answering.

"Hi Rachel," I said softly.

"Kurt, hi!" she said. I could tell she was lowering her voice for me. I appreciated the action. "How are you?"

"Fine," I said.

"Be honest Kurt. I know you aren't fine," I heard Mercedes say.

"Mercedes?"

"I'm here," said Mercedes. "Please Kurt, tell us the truth."

"Why should I be honest?" I asked.

"Because we're your friends," Rachel said. "We're here for you when you need us."

"Really? Because at McKinley you weren't," I snapped bitterly.

"Kurt, we were," said Mercedes softly.

"Name one instance," I ordered coldly.

"The duets," said Rachel. "I asked you to do a duet with me."

"That was just another chance for you to sing. It wasn't for me," I said.

"Yes it was. I was trying to make you feel less lonely, especially after doing a duet with yourself, and make you happier. I mean, it was a mash up of Happy Days Are Here Again and Get Happy. I was hoping you'd pick up the message," Rachel explained. "I guess it didn't quite work."

"And I took you to church to show you weren't alone. Everyone stood up and danced not with, but _for _you and Burt," said Mercedes. "And I squeezed your hand a couple times during numbers. I know Quinn, Britt and Tina did too."

"Don't forget about me telling the girls to tell the guys to confront the rest of the team. Sam got a black eye for you then," piped Rachel.

"And I know I saw the guys watch you a few times in the halls. I saw Puck glare at the team once as they saw you walking towards them. They didn't push you that time," added Mercedes.

"And I know Finn was tackling everyone not in glee harder than necessary," said Rachel. "He said Mike started to get vicious against them too."

"I think I saw Santana go all Lima Heights on a few members of the hockey team," Mercedes added.

"Plus everything Coach Sylvester did," said Rachel.

"When was this?" I asked quietly. "I never saw this happen."

"Just because you didn't see us didn't mean we weren't there. We've been keeping an eye out for you since the beginning of the year, earlier really," said Mercedes. "We kind of stopped when you started hanging out with him because we thought things would be okay, but we were still watching. We started watching like hawks after you quit."

I could feel tears start to leak down my cheeks. So my friends had cared. Now that I thought about it, I had noticed the girls holding my hand, but I thought it was to make the performances look better. The times I had seen the guys in the hall, I thought they had been going to class. "Why didn't you say anything?" I asked.

"Because we thought that was what you wanted," said Rachel. "You don't exactly like showing weakness, you like standing up for yourself so we didn't say anything in case you got mad."

"I had no idea I wasn't alone," I said, my voice quivering. "I thought you didn't care."

"We do care. And even if you're at Dalton, if you need us, we'll be there. Once in New Directions, always in New Directions," said Rachel.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"Kurt, don't cry," said Mercedes. "We love you, and as much as it hurts me to say it, I'm glad you're at Dalton. You don't need to be scared there anymore. You can be yourself and heal."

"Not when the cuts are this deep," I said.

"They will," said Rachel surely. "My dads know how bad the bullying got, I kept them informed. They were considering filing a lawsuit, but you transferred. They know it'll take a while, but eventually the wounds will heal, and you can go back to being your normal fabulous self."

"I don't know if that'll happen," I said.

"I never told you my dad went through a similar situation, did I?" asked Rachel. "He didn't have to deal with everything you did but he knows what it's like, to some extent. It took him months for all the bruises to disappear and months more to heal emotionally, but he's fine now."

"I didn't know that," I said.

"He said he'd be happy to lend an ear if you needed it. We're here too Kurt, so if you ever want to talk to us about B-"

"Don't say his name, please," I begged.

"If you ever need to talk to us about anything we'll be there for you," corrected Mercedes. "You know Kurt, it might help if you talk about it."

"No, I can't," I said. "Not now."

"Okay. When you're ready," said Mercedes.

"So, how is Dalton?" asked Rachel uncertainly.

"It's fine," I said simply.

"There has to be more to it than that," said Mercedes.

"It's fine," I repeated. "The classes are harder, but it's mostly the same."

"Is anyone messing with you?" Mercedes asked. "Because if someone is I will not hesitate to come and cut them."

I thought for a moment. "Not exactly," I said slowly.

"What do you mean 'not exactly'?" asked Rachel. "Is someone bothering you?"

I bit my lip. "He just keeps, pestering me, I guess. He keeps trying to talk to me, and show me around, be close to me. He kept passing me notes in Literature," I said. "I don't know, it's weird..."

"Kurt," Mercedes said, laughing slightly. "I think he's trying to be friends with you."

"It does," Rachel agreed. "That would be good for you, to have a friend there."

"No," I said sharply.

"Kurt, he wants to be friends, or it sounds like it. Why don't you give him a chance?" asked Rachel.

"You know what happened last time."

Mercedes and Rachel were quiet on the other end. "Not everyone is-"

"I can't, okay? I can't trust him," I cut in. "He'll just end up being like him. I won't go through that again."

"Okay," said Mercedes reluctantly. "Maybe it will take time for you to learn it's okay to trust people. Just don't completely isolate yourself?"

"How's McKinley?" I asked, avoiding their question. I was one to keep promises. I couldn't keep the one they were asking me to.

"It sucks, like always," said Mercedes. "More so now that you're gone."

A soft knock sounded on my door, cutting off Rachel. The two girls quieted before Rachel told me to answer. Putting it on speaker in case someone was there to attack me, I slowly walked over and unlocked it. I opened it slightly to peek my head through.

"Blaine, hi," I said, glancing back into my room at the phone.

"Hi!" he said excitedly, smiling widely. "I saw you at the Warblers performance, but you left. Did you not like the song, or my voice or something?"

"I don't care for music," I said, catching myself before adding an 'anymore'.

"Oh," said Blaine, looking disappointed. "Then why are you in music class?"

"I thought it'd be an easy credit," I lied. He didn't need to know anything about me.

"Oh..." he said, before brightening up. "I was wondering if you needed help with the make-up work in the classes we have together?"

"I'm fine," I said.

"Well, what about the ones we don't?"

"No."

Blaine bit his lip. "Did you get something to eat? Curfew isn't for another hour, we could go down to a coffee shop ten minutes away and get something there."

"I ate," I said. _When was he going to leave? _I thought.

"What about we watch a movie?" Blaine suggested. "I have a pretty wide collection and I find it nice to wind down after a busy day. Not that today was particularly busy for me, but for you it must have been since it was a new school and you had to find all your classes, even though I offered to help. I mean it's okay you didn't want it, but, um, I'll stop rambling now." He looked up with a hopeful smile and a blush spreading across his cheeks.

"No thanks," I said.

"Maybe another time then?" Blaine asked hopefully.

"We'll see," I said, before closing the door, hearing a faint goodnight.

I turned back and picked up my phone, to hear Rachel and Mercedes giggling.

"What?" I asked.

"Oh Kurt, was that the guy that's been bothering you?" Rachel asked, still giggling.

"Yes, what's so funny?"

"Boy, he wants to be more than friends," said Mercedes.

"Ha ha. Funny," I said sarcastically. "He's straight like all the other guys here. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to change into my pyjamas and go to bed."

"Sure Kurt," said Mercedes, not bothering to hide the fact that she wasn't convinced.

"Goodnight!" Rachel said.

"Talk to you girls later," I replied before hanging up. Those girls were delusional.

* * *

><p>I woke up from the nightmare I was having by my alarm clock. Unusually thankful towards it, I got out of bed and changed into my uniform, leaving my hair untouched. I noticed Blaine was closing his door to, assumedly, walk down for breakfast. He noticed me before I had a chance to creep back into my dorm.<p>

"Hey Kurt!" he said brightly. "Heading down to breakfast?"

"I-I already ate," I said. It wasn't convincing. He could tell I was lying, especially when my stomach gave an involuntary rumble.

"Oh, okay then," he said, looking hurt and disappointed. "Well, see you later. Do you want me to show you to your history class?"

"I'll be fine," I said.

"See you in Lit then," he said, walking down the hall with slumped shoulders.

I felt guilty for a few seconds before realizing he was probably only going to end up attacking me once he learned who I was. I had been naive the first time, this time I wasn't so trusting. But maybe he wasn't like _him_. Maybe he was like Finn, never bullying directly, but always standing on the sidelines and watching, half the time half-heartedly telling them to lessen the blows, the other half half-heartedly helping. Finn hadn't been persistent to talk to me like Blaine but he had always been friendly enough. Finn eventually started helping me out, but he still hurt me and bullied me. That was it. Blaine was just another Finn, except this time I wouldn't fall for him. And since he wouldn't become my stepbrother, he wouldn't help me with the bullies I no doubt would get here.

I walked into history and sat down, not missing the looks the two boys in front of me, Nick and Jeff I thought, were giving me. Had they figured out I was gay already? I'd have to be on my guard now. I hadn't seen a slushy machine yet, but that didn't mean they didn't have them. I avoided meeting their eyes for the rest of class.

Blaine was already in Literature when I walked in. He was in a different spot though, looking down on his desk. I noticed the board said we could change spots today, so I figured that was the reason. He looked unhappy. I didn't understand why that bothered me when he was only going to harass me later. There were a few empty desks around the class, but for some reason I went towards Blaine. Maybe if I was...kind to him he wouldn't beat me up as hard, or would get his friends to stop before it became _too _painful.

"Is someone sitting here?" I asked, standing looking at the seat beside him nervously.

"No," said Blaine, giving a small smile. "Go right ahead and sit down."

I nodded and slid into the desk. Blaine unhappy look disappeared and he turned to face me.

"Did you sleep alright?" he asked.

"Same as always," I responded. That was true. It might not have been giving anything away, but it wasn't lying. I took out the questions from the day before and read over my answers, checking that I was happy with them.

"How are you finding the classes?" Blaine asked.

"They're more challenging than what I'm used to." I could tell he wanted to start a conversation, but I was on edge with him. Answering his questions was enough for me.

"How are you finding this?" he asked, gesturing to his copy of the Hunger Games.

"It's good," I said. "I might get the sequel when we finish it."

"I have it, if you want to borrow it," Blaine suggested. I could feel him move slightly closer so I backed up the same distance.

"That's okay," I said.

"I was wondering if maybe you wanted to sit with me at lunch?" Blaine asked, biting his lower lip slightly.

In my mind, I could hear Rachel and Mercedes tell me to agree. But something held me back. "No, thanks," I said. "I have to catch up anyways."

"We could eat in the library?" Blaine suggested.

I didn't really want to get rid of his hopeful expression but I wasn't ready. I couldn't talk to him outside of class, much less alone. I'd be friendly enough in class, but outside of school, I'd stick to myself. "It'll be easier to concentrate alone," I said.

"Okay then," he said, disappointment crowing his features.

I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. I pulled it out quickly, seeing as we had a few minutes. Surprisingly, it was from Puck. I had his number from Finn, but I didn't know he had mine.

_Dude, they treating u right dere? - Puck_

_I'm fine Puck - Kurt_

_Is any1 bothring u? - Puck_

_No. There've been no issues yet - Kurt_

_K, thats good. If dere is call me and Ill come and deal wit it -Puck_

_You don't need to, but thank you - Kurt_

"Who are you texting?" Blaine asked.

I looked up and slipped my phone into my pocket. "A friend," I answered simply.

"Oh," he said. "Hey, do you want my number?"

Did I take it? Or did I leave it? Blaine would be hurt if I didn't, but that way I'd have an excuse not to communicate with him outside of class. But if I took it, I didn't necessarily have to text him, right?

"Sure," I said uncertainly. If I really didn't want it, I could always delete it later.

Blaine grinned. "Cool, let me write it down," he said, ripping of a corner of a sheet of paper and jotting down a phone number. "Here you are," he said, handing me the slip. "Can I maybe get yours?" he asked, ripping off another corner.

"Okay," I said nervously. I took out my pen and slowly wrote down my number. After I handed it to him, I realized he could spread it around. _Shit, _I thought. _I'll need to make sure I don't answer unknown calls and ignore the texts from random numbers. _I wasn't looking forwards to dealing with homophobia again. Jeff and Nick had probably already spread it around.

"Thanks Kurt!" said Blaine beaming. I wondered why he was so happy. Had he begun a bet that he could get it? Had he been planning things and I'd just given him the last thing he needed? Maybe I could reach over and rip my number up... "And I promise, I won't hand it out to anyone else."

I studied him carefully. His eyes were nothing but sincere. His voice sounded completely honest. I believed him, but then again he could have been a really good actor. He _had_ said Mr. Adams was his drama teacher. I nodded slowly. "Okay," I whispered.

The bell rang and the lesson began. Like before, Mr. Adams read the book making up new voices for the characters. I felt more comfortable. Maybe it was the teacher, or the fact that I always found books comforting. At the end of the class, I waited for Blaine to pack up his books and walked out with him. I nodded before heading in the direction of Home Economics.

I wandered around one of the buildings at lunch. York was about the same size as the other buildings, but slightly larger. As I wandered, I found a small alcove hidden by a door. I wasn't sure what was behind it, but it was left unlocked so whatever was behind it couldn't be that important. The space was small, but would fit two people. I could stretch out my sore legs. I sat down and took out one of the books for Literature and read as I ate my lunch. No one passed me and no one tried to get through the door. It was quiet, and surprisingly peaceful. I'd definitely be coming here more often.

Lunch flew by and I was soon sitting in French, planning an essay on the effects of bullying. I found the topic kind of ironic. At least I'd have good information to use. That didn't mean I'd be comfortable at bearing my soul to the teacher. I didn't even know if she supported gay rights or if she was homophobic. Maybe Blaine would know.

I heard Blaine call my name when I was walking to Music. I stopped and waited for him to catch up before continuing to walk. Finn never did this, except after the incident.

"Hey," he said. "How was French?"

"It was fine," I answered quietly.

"What did you do?" he asked.

"We started writing essays on bullying," I answered.

"Who's your teacher?" he asked. "Mme. Lémanche?"

I nodded slowly. "Why?" I asked apprehensively

"It's nothing bad," said Blaine quickly. "She's really nice and helped me a little. She's accepting of everyone. If you decide to explain more about a certain type of bullying I might be able to help, depending on what it is."

Well if that was the case I certainly wouldn't be needing his help. "That's alright," I said. "I've got enough more than enough personal experience to go by." I shouldn't have said that. I _really_ shouldn't have said that. Crap. Now he's going to ask and find out I'm gay and attack me verbally and physically. Or get his friends to.

Blaine looked at me curiously. "Well, if you need a second person's experience, I'm happy to help," he said.

I looked at him, surprised. Did that mean he was bullied too? Or was he just making that up? He didn't look like he had been bullied. Maybe he was the bully? That was what Finn had been _'If you need a second person's experience, I'm happy to help.'_ I had already said I'd been bullied. Maybe he knew someone who was bullied.

"I went to do homework in the library at lunch," said Blaine, changing the subject. "I didn't see you. Were you in your room?"

"Yeah," I lied. Even though I trusted him more than anyone else here, it didn't mean I wanted him near me in private. Finn called me a fag in private and that had hurt more than anything else the bullies had done at the time.

We walked into the music class, with Blaine talking animatedly about his last class. Wes and David were already there. They smirked when they saw us walk in together. _Why are they smirking? Do they have a plan to beat me up after all?_ I thought worriedly. _These must be the jocks Blaine watches bully._

"Enjoying yourself there Blaine?" asked Wes.

Blaine stuck out his tongue at them, and pulled out my chair for me to sit down. There wasn't anything on the seat so I sat down as the other boys hid their laughs.

"Thank you," I mumbled.

Blaine smiled and nodded. "Ignore Wes and David. They're being stupid."

"So Kurt," said David. "Blaine was freaking out at lunch because he couldn't find you. OW DON'T KICK ME BLAINE!" he yelled. I flinched back in my seat at a breakneck pace. I probably would have fallen over if Blaine hadn't steadied me.

I begin to tremble when he kept his hand on my arm. He removed it quickly when they begin to get strong and looked at me concerned. I kept my eyes on the ground in front of me, avoiding the stare.

"Are you okay?" Blaine asked.

"Sorry Kurt, I didn't mean to scare you," said David.

I nodded and turned to the front of the class, my back rigid, my eyes darting around the class. I could feel my hands continue to shake. I was grateful that the bell had just rung.

"Alright," began Mrs. Daniels, dressed in top quality brands like the day before. "First off, you know we are starting the projects that are worth fifteen percent of your mark in about two weeks." The class groaned. "They're in groups you guys! It won't be that bad!"

"Can we pick them?" called a student.

"I'm going to draw names from a hat and the person whose name is drawn gets to pick three others to be in their group," she said. "That okay?" The class nodded. "As I was saying, I've been looking over the curriculum and I've realized that it might be better to start them sooner. So we are going to have a vote to decide if we start them in two weeks or next week."

"Is it the same due date?" asked one student.

"No, but you will get a few more days if we start them next week," she answered. "Ready to vote?" The class nodded again. "If you want to start them in two weeks, raise your hand," she said.

I, along with a few others raised their hands. More than half of the class kept their hands down.

"Well in that case we'll pick groups Monday," she decided, before getting into the lesson.

When the bell rang, I jumped up and walked as quickly as I could out the class, but not before hearing Blaine say something to David.

"Thanks David. You know he waited for me after Lit? He was actually talking to me and you managed to ruin that."

"Dude, I didn't mean to."

After a headache-inducing physics lesson, I walked back to York and sat in the spot I had found at lunch and continued to work on my make-up work. I heard voices walking down the hall at four, causing me to freeze but luckily whoever was speaking didn't walk past me. I thought I heard music after, but it was faint and almost inaudible.

After a few hours I got up and headed to Windsor to get dinner. I saw Blaine sitting with a few other people. He caught my eye and gestured me over. Finn used to sit with the jocks that would bully me. I didn't want to sit with homophobes so I shook my head and walked to my room to eat. David yelling had shaken me. I just wanted to be alone for the rest of the night. I felt bad for Blaine, who must have been thinking it was his fault.

_It's not you, I just need to be alone tonight_ _– Kurt_

I sent a text and received a reply a few seconds later.

_Of course, I appreciate you telling me. If there's anything else I can do to help, let me know – Blaine_

That was weird, Finn never asked if he could do anything. He just let me take off my jackets. That was his way of helping.

I put my phone on my bed and continued to work through my homework. When my brain couldn't take any more, I put away my books and got ready for a nightmare-filled sleep. My last thought before drifting off was that I wasn't as sore today.

* * *

><p><strong>spitsgirl18<strong>** gave me the idea for the Finn comparison. I had it where Kurt was beginning to show to much trust in Blaine, and she came up with Kurt thinking he was like Finn so he would trust him but wouldn't. **

**THANK YOU FOR READING AND REVIEWING! :D You guys are awesome! Reviews make me happy! And I can't believe this already has over 2600 hits!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I've returned from the insanity! The last show was yesterday so I'm pretty much free now :) I apologize for how long it took. I probably would have posted a few hours ago but I got distracted and got talking to someone for two and a half hours after discovering video chats were available on facebook. But it's updated now! **

**Thank you all for being so patient! I really appreciate it. I know I said I'd try and update before November, but I had a few big assignments thrown on me so it wasn't possible. But I did write a one-shot when I had time in class called 'Kiss Cam'. So if you want, check that out! And for the very few people who've read Reflection, I'm sorry but I won't be continuing it. But you may see it tied into somewhere else... *hint hint*  
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**One thing I've noticed is all through the month I've been getting emails saying I've had this put on Story Alert. I'm just wondering how you all found it, especially since I haven't updated in so long! (apologies again.)  
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**And for those of you who are waiting for 9 to 5, it will be updated soon.**

**December has begun! Almost Christmas. I love Christmas :)**

**Without further ado...**

**(Just so you know I really like books...)  
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><p><strong>Chapter 4<strong>

By the time the Friday came, I was almost adjusted to Dalton. I had gotten used to my routine. I would get up early from nightmares and get something from the dining hall before anyone else had arrived. Before classes I worked on homework in the small alcove I had found. When it was time to go to history, I walked there quickly, always showing up a little bit early to avoid people in the halls. In Literature I would sit next to Blaine and be friendly enough to him, but of course not give much away about myself. Blaine could tell that I was avoiding his questions, that I knew, but he seemed content to keep our interactions the same. He wasn't pushing me into answering anything if I avoided a question which was nice, but I wondered why. We would walk part of the way together to our next classes. At lunch, I went back to the alcove and continued to work. After I finished my afternoon classes, I returned to the place I deigned safe. I usually stayed there until curfew.

Blaine would often invite me to join him for lunch, or go out for coffee, or to watch a movie, but I always declined. I avoided him outside of class. He continued to try to see me after though. Sometimes I saw him staring at me when I was getting things from the dining hall. I wasn't sure what to make of it, but it made me uncomfortable. Maybe I could bring food from home to eat.

He texted me at random throughout the day with little snippets of his thoughts. Sometimes I responded, other times I didn't. I did find them enjoyable to read.

My make-up work was going along well, though my head still wasn't making sense of physics. I briefly considered asking Blaine if he could help, but I quickly put the idea down. Maybe I could see if my dad understood any of it when I went home.

Without the make-up work, my class load was busy, but with all the time I spent working, I was able to keep up. history and physics were my most challenging classes. Music wasn't bad, but I always felt strange when people got up to sing. It couldn't have been longing. I was done with singing.

Literature was probably one of my favorite classes. The book was easy to get lost in. I was disappointed when I finished it. I was the only person who had in the class, from my understanding. Except Blaine, but he had read it before. He seemed to have read everything on the assigned reading list.

The closest thing we had to a normal conversation was about books. We seemed to have similar tastes in reading material. He was shocked when I hadn't read Harry Potter, even more so when I said I hadn't read much (if any) fantasy. I was surprised when he started writing down a list of fantasy books to read. I suggested _The Book Thief_ in return. He looked eager to take my suggestion.

"So, what are you doing this weekend?" Blaine asked as he sat down next to me in Literature Friday.

"Going home," I said simply.

"Oh, that's cool," said Blaine. "Where do you live? Westerville?"

"No," I answered uncomfortably. There wasn't any way I was going to tell him where I lived. I'd like my windows to be egg-free. And my lawn furniture not nailed to the roof.

"Is it your parent's house you're going to?"

I nodded. It wasn't like I lived alone.

"It'll be nice to see them," said Blaine.

"I guess," I said. "What about you?" It was time to turn this conversation away from me.

"I'm staying here," Blaine said shrugging.

"Oh," I mumbled. "Why?"

"My parents are on a business trip somewhere in Europe. They have been for the past two months." I could hear the bitterness in his voice.

"I'm sorry," I said, unsure of what to say. My dad never left for long periods of time like that. My mother hadn't either before she died, except when she was in the hospital. At least I got to see her though. Blaine didn't have that luxury.

"Don't worry about it," said Blaine, giving an incredibly fake smile. "I'm used to it."

I looked down at my hands, my brows furrowed. That wasn't right. Even if I didn't trust him, he _seemed_ like a good guy. He shouldn't have to be alone. I was about to ask more but the bell rang. We were told to discuss what we had read so far in the book in a small group or with a partner. A few people called Blaine over, but he didn't join them, deciding to stay with me instead. I didn't know how I felt about that. What was his point in doing so?

Our discussion was enjoyable. I refused to believe it was fun. I hadn't had fun in weeks, and that streak wouldn't be changing anytime soon. I didn't notice how much time had passed until the bell rang. I jumped and hurried to get my books ready to leave for the next class.

"Do you want to eat lunch with me today?" Blaine asked, waiting just outside the class.

"No, sorry. I got more homework than I expected in history today and I won't have time to do it this weekend with everything else," I lied. We actually hadn't gotten any. I think Turner was toning it down for me, but I couldn't be sure. It wasn't like he had a reason to.

"Don't worry about it," said Blaine. "Well, see you in music then!"

I nodded and headed to Home Ec. We were making pizza dough and sauce that period and would be going in after school to put it together. I didn't mind. I'd just call my dad to let him know at lunch or something.

I went and sat down in my alcove. It seemed as though I was the only one who knew about it. No one walked by after classes and during lunch either. It was a place where I could finally relax and let down my guards to some extent. They were never put down very far, only so far that I could put them back up within seconds.

French was rather laidback that day. The teacher gave us the period to work on our essays. I put myself anonymous and began to write. The teacher never specified how long it had to be so I didn't know if what I was writing was too long. I was almost finished the first draft when the bell signalled the end to the period.

Some people wrote about their problems as a way to feel better. It didn't do anything for me.

I arrived in music earlier than usual. Blaine wasn't there, but Wes and David were. I tried to keep myself calm as I slowly sat down where I had the day before. They wouldn't try anything in a classroom, would they? I kept my eyes on my hands. Submission never worked at McKinley, but maybe it would here.

"How's your day been, Kurt?" asked David politely.

I looked up quickly. "Fine," I mumbled.

"So have you considered joining any extra-curricular activities?" Wes asked.

I shook my head no. I wouldn't be.

"Well, we have the Warblers, which is our acapella glee club, if you like to sing. Of course you'd have to audition, but-"

"Wes, what did I tell you about badgering Kurt into the Warblers?" Blaine said, sitting down. I jumped, not noticing he had arrived. "If Kurt wants to join, he will. He doesn't need any pressure put on him."

Wes rolled his eyes but didn't say anything more about the Warblers.

"Did you get much of the history work done?" Blaine asked.

"History work? I thought Nick and Jeff said they didn't have any," David said.

"More make-up work," I said quickly.

"Sure," said David, looking very unconvinced.

Class started before further discussion was available.

* * *

><p>I called my dad on the way to the Home Ec. Class to let him know I'd be arriving late. He sounded disappointed when I said it was for school. I knew he wanted me to join clubs and make friends, but I couldn't. The interactions with Blaine were pushing me enough.<p>

When my pizza was ready and out of the oven, I let my teacher analyze it's looks and allowed her to cut off a small piece to taste it. She handed me the rubric and I left with the pizza in a round container for pies. A quick glance told me I got 35/35.

I was going up to my room to get what I needed for the weekend. Blaine was leaving his dorm at the same time as I walked by.

"Kurt!" he exclaimed, a smile lighting up his face. "I'm surprised to see you still here!"

"I had to finish something for Home Ec.," I answered, holding up the container of pizza.

"Is it food?" Blaine asked. "Can I try some?"

I shrugged and held the container out to him. He grinned and took it from me. "It's pizza? I love pizza!" he said excitedly before frowning. "Can I take a piece out in your room? It'd be kind of hard to do it here."

I bit my lip but nodded uncertainly. If I was nice enough maybe he'd be less vicious.

He followed me to my room. I was getting more and more reluctant to let him come in by the footstep. This would be the perfect incident to attack me. We'd be alone and since no one else know where my dorm is, that I knew of at least, no one would know I was missing.

I unlocked my door and allowed him to go inside. He placed the pizza on my desk. _And now his hands were free_, I thought to myself. He moved a step closer to me. I backed up quickly, tripping on my history textbook. I felt him grab my waist to keep me from falling. As soon as I caught my balance I leapt away from him.

"You okay?" Blaine asked, his brows furrowed. Why was he looking at me like he cared? No one cared except for my family and New Directions. I didn't even know New Directions cared about me until I talked to Mercedes and Rachel.

"Fine," I said lamely. I was sure he could tell I was lying, but he didn't press the matter. Instead he backed up and sat down on the chair by my desk which was across the room. I was grateful, but I knew Blaine just wanted to sit down, and sitting on my bed could be considered rude.

"So, you really don't mind if I take a piece?" Blaine asked, gesturing to the container of pizza in front of him.

I shook my head. I might have a slice on the way home, but it would be only Finn who would eat it. I wouldn't allow my dad to eat any and Carole wasn't that fond of pizza.

I took out a bag and started to throw random clothes in it. I paused when I heard a strange noise coming from where Blaine was. He was holding up the pizza with a hand on each side of the crust, with the point of the triangle in his mouth. His eyes were wide. When he noticed me looking at him, he took it out of his mouth.

"This is the best pizza I've ever had. And believe me when I say I've had a lot of pizza," he said, taking another bite. He definitely shared a love of food with Finn.

"Thanks," I mumbled. So he liked pizza? I could always bribe him not to hurt me...

"Like, seriously. You could open a pizzeria in Italy and have people come from all over the world just to have your pizza."

I went into my bathroom to put my toothbrush in my bag. Blaine smiled at me when I exited it. I gathered my school books and placed them in the same bag.

"Are you leaving now?" Blaine asked. I nodded. "Can I walk you to your car?"

Were there people waiting for me in the lot? Maybe Jeff and Nick were there. I didn't think they liked me very much. Wes and David were probably there too. Even though my mind was screaming against it, I nodded.

I walked out of my room, locking it and triple checking when Blaine exited. He was a little bit too close to me, but I forced myself to stay calm. People like him would be able to smell my fear if I let them.

Blaine chatted on the way down to the lot. I know my dad said someone had dropped off my car earlier today. I assumed it was two of the workers in the shop since I knew my dad was heavily booked for the day. I saw my Navigator at the far side of the half-empty lot. The repairs it had to go through from its last vandalization were unnoticible. It looked brand new. It wasn't exactly a cheap car, so maybe Blaine would think my dad was a rich lawyer so he'd be too scared to torture me. Finn never tried jumping me, but many other jocks had. I winced slightly remembering one particularly painful incident where I had to make a detour on my way home to get stitches.

"Is that yours?" Blaine asked, nodding to my car. He was carrying the pizza still. I wondered if I should just give it to him.

"Yeah," I said softly.

"It's nice," said Blaine. "When did you get it? It looks new. It could be old too but I don't know much about cars so I don't know." He smiled sheepishly.

"It's a few years old," I answered. That was true. It was brand new when I got it.

"Cool! Do you like it?"

"It's nice," I said simply. Even though so much of me had changed, my love for my car hadn't. Blaine didn't need to know that.

"I have a car too," said Blaine proudly. "I paid for it myself."

"What kind?" Talking about cars would not make me sound gay. Straight guys like talking about cars, and it was something I knew.

"I can't remember," answered Blaine. "I got it used a few years ago."

We had arrived at my car. I opened the door and put the pizza on the passenger seat and my bag on the floor of the backseat. I didn't really care how it landed. Old Kurt would have though.

"So I'll see you Monday? Or will you be coming back Sunday night?"

"I don't know."

"Alright then, text me when you know!" Blaine said.

I wasn't sure if I'd actually text him but I let him know I would and climbed into the front seat. I acknowledged Blaine's wave before driving off.

I turned on the radio when I turned on the highway. The only things I could find though were things I used to like so I turned off the radio and drove in silence.

* * *

><p>When I arrived in Lima it was almost seven. I had eaten a slice of pizza on the way. It was pretty good. I wasn't that hungry though, so I didn't eat any more. I figured Finn would like it.<p>

When I walked through the front door, I almost screamed because Finn came bounding down the stairs which was directly facing the door. Finn didn't see me and ran to the right towards the sitting room. I heard someone yell something and Puck came bounding down right behind Finn.

I froze for a few seconds before removing my dirty shoes and jacket. I went into the kitchen, running into Carole as I turned the corner. I fell to the floor, not expecting the collision.

"Oh! Kurt sweetie, I'm so sorry! Are you alright?" she asked quickly, helping me stand.

I calmed my breathing, shoving the memories of locker slams aside, and nodded.

"I'm so sorry," she said again. I could see in her eyes she was being honest.

"It's fine," I said, wincing slightly. I could tell I'd have a bruise in the morning.

"Let me get you something to eat honey," said Carole. "You sit down, let me handle it. What do you want?"

"I'm not that hungry," I said.

"Honey, you need to eat," said Carole, giving me a sympathetic look. I hated those looks.

"I ate on the way," I said.

"Kurt-"

"I did. I had a slice of pizza. We made them in Home Ec. and finished them after school which was why I was late."

"Really?" she said, giving me a knowing look.

"The container is there," I said. I was going to stand up to get it but Carole gently pushed me back down and went to get it herself.

She opened the box, noticing the missing slices. "There's two missing, I thought you said you had one?"

"Someone wanted to try a piece so I let them."

"Is it a boy?" Carole asked excitedly.

"It's an all-boys school Carole, of course it would be a boy," I said. It came out slightly rude, but Carole didn't take offense.

"What's this about a boy?" a gruff voice asked. I turned and saw my dad standing behind me. He opened his arms for a hug. I slowly stood up and hugged him. He didn't hug me tightly, knowing about my injuries and my sensitivity to touch. It was a short hug but it was nice, I suppose.

He sat down across from me. "So what were you saying about a boy?"

"He just wanted to try a piece of the pizza I made," I shrugged.

"Pizza?" I heard a voice ask. Finn was standing with an expectant look on his face, with Puck right behind him holding the same expression. Finn noticed me and gave his lopsided grin. "Kurt! You're back!" he said, hugging me tightly before remembering that I was uncomfortable with contact. "Sorry, bro. How was school? Where's the pizza?"

"On the counter honey," said Carole.

"Sweet!" Finn exclaimed, before fighting against Puck for pieces. They came out with four pieces each and sat down at the table with me.

"So how's school been?" my dad asked.

"It's fine," I said. "Challenging, but I can handle it."

"Has anyone been bothering you?" Puck asked.

My hesitation to answer cause my dad to look angry. "I thought they had a no-bullying policy!"

"They do, dad," I said. "It just depends what Puck meant by 'bothering me'."

"What do you mean?"

"Someone just keeps trying to talk to me. It's not like at McKinley, I promise." At least it wasn't yet.

"That doesn't mean the prick won't end up like _Braden_," Puck said angrily. "He kept trying to talk to you and look what happened with that."

I felt tears well in my eyes. I clenched my fists and tried unsuccessfully to will away the memories. I shut my eyes to will away the force of them.

"Puck, don't you have to go?" my dad asked angrily, immediately noticing my change of mood.

"Oh crap," Puck swore, realizing his mistake. "Kurt I didn't mean-"

"Can you just leave us alone for the night? You can come back tomorrow," said Carole.

Puck nodded, patting me gently on the back as he walked by. I flinched violently. My eyes were tightly shut, so I didn't see his look of apology.

Eventually I calmed down. I found everyone looking at me worriedly so I looked down at my hands which I was trying to unclench in my lap.

"You okay kiddo?" my dad asked.

I nodded quickly, but they could all tell I was lying.

"So, who's the kid?" Finn asked. "What's he been doing?" Finn dived into his food seeing as I had calmed down. "Holy shit this is good pizza," he said.

"Finn, language," Carole scolded.

"Just trying to talk to me and hang out," I said simply.

"Have you hung out with him?" Carole asked expectantly.

I shook my head no.

"Do you talk to him?" my dad asked.

"A little. We sit beside each other in two classes. I don't talk to him really outside of the two classes."

"Is this the boy who took the slice of pizza?" Carole asked.

I nodded.

"What's his name?" my dad asked.

"Blaine Anderson."

"Isn't that the boy who helped us when you moved into Dalton?" Carole asked, smiling gently.

"Yeah, that's him."

"He's cute," said Carole. I shrugged in response. I hadn't really looked.

"Did he end up showing you around?" my dad asked.

"He did," I said. _Sort of_, I added in my mind.

"He seemed like a good kid. So he's been helping you get settled?"

I shrugged again. "I guess."

"So what do you two talk about when you do talk?"

"School mostly," I answered.

"Is that it?" asked Finn. "That's kind of boring. Where did you get the pizza? It was awesome."

"We talked about books a little," I replied. "And the pizza was a Home Ec. project."

"Dude, you made it?" Finn asked. "You're like...the pizza ninja. It's so good." He moved on to eat Puck's remaining pieces.

I yawned just as I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I noticed I had three texts. One from Mercedes and one from Rachel, bother asking when I'd be home. The third was from Blaine.

_Wes and David are jealous I had pizza – Blaine_

_Should I be worried? – Kurt_

_Nah, I told them it was from Pizza Hut so they walked away because they hate Pizza Hut. I don't know why... I LOVE Pizza Hut – Blaine_

I didn't respond back, instead putting my phone away.

"You look tired kiddo, why don't you go get some sleep?" my dad suggested.

"Okay," I said, standing up to go downstairs to my room.

"Goodnight!" they called.

"Goodnight," I answered.

I changed quickly into my pyjamas, brushed my teeth, and fell into a deep sleep. It was nice being back in my own bed and room.

* * *

><p>When I woke up it was almost ten o'clock. I hardly ever slept that late, but I supposed the week had thoroughly exhausted me. I noticed I hadn't had any nightmares for the first time since that night. I wasn't sure why. I was probably too tired for my brain to give me any of the horrible dreams.<p>

I walked downstairs, finding Carole at the stove cooking pancakes. She looked up and smiled brightly when she heard me come in.

"Hi honey! How was your sleep?" she asked.

"Good," I said honestly. The nightmares would be back tomorrow morning, that I was sure of, but I did have a good sleep.

"Did you just wake up or have you been awake for a while now?" she asked, sitting down after making sure the pancakes would be okay.

"Just woke up," I said.

"You slept long then. I'm not surprised. I'm sure it was a long week for you. I remember when I always arrived back home for the holidays when I was in college that I would sleep a good 14 hours a night at least," she babbled. "It's something about it being your own bed, if you know what I mean."

"Is Finn up yet?" I asked.

"No, I'm hoping the smell of food will wake him," said Carole, returning to the stove. "Do you want some?"

Old Kurt would never touch pancakes. "Sure," I said.

She passed me three. I put syrup on them and started eating. Finn came down a few minutes later.

"Food?" he asked, when he sat at the table looking half asleep.

"Good morning to you too," said Carole, laughing at her son's morning state.

"Food?"

"Right here," said Carole, passing him a plate with six pancakes.

Things were quiet until Finn was awake enough to start a conversation. I didn't want to start one. It looked like Carole was waiting for Finn to talk.

When Finn was finished cleaning his plate with his tongue, not noticing both my and Carole's disgusted looks, Carole started talking.

"So what are you boys up to today?" she asked.

"I'm going over to Puck's for a COD tournament," Finn said.

"What about you Kurt?" Carole asked.

I shrugged. "Homework."

"You aren't going to see any of your friends?"

"Maybe," I said.

"I think Mercedes and Rachel were planning on kidnapping you to go for coffee or something," Finn said. "Wait, I wasn't supposed to say that."

"That'll be nice Kurt," said Carole. "Coffee won't take too long. After that you can work on homework."

I nodded. I didn't really have a choice, but I supposed it would be good to see the two girls. I got up and went to my room so I could get dressed. I didn't know when Mercedes and Rachel would arrive so it would be better to get ready now.

The moment I left my room the doorbell rang. I could see Rachel's car from the window so I opened the door. Mercedes and Rachel stood expectantly.

"Hi Kurt!" they exclaimed. They didn't come up and hug me, but I knew they would have if things were different.

"We're taking you out for coffee," said Mercedes.

"I know," I said, putting on a pair of black and white running shoes.

"How?" Rachel demanded.

"Finn."

"Girl, you need to tell that boy to keep his mouth shut," Mercedes said to Rachel. "So are you ready to go?"

I nodded and followed the girls. I didn't really like going out in public, not since that night, but I figured they wouldn't attack me in front of girls. Besides, Mercedes could completely tear them down with her words if the need for it arose.

Mercedes let me take the front seat while she went in the center of the back. I half-listened when they were talking about all the drama happening at McKinley. While they rambled on, I looked out the window at the passing shops and cars. I jolted out of my calm state when we pulled into the parking lot of the Lima Bean, Lima's only good coffeehouse.

We walked in. Rachel went to reserve the table we always used. I was going to go with Mercedes to buy my coffee but she told me to go sit down. Rachel seemed to be analyzing my every move which was rather uncomfortable.

Mercedes dropped our coffees on the table and sat down next to Rachel, giving me a look with the same intensity. I looked down, avoiding their gaze. After a tense minute of this, Rachel finally spoke.

"Kurt, how are you?" she asked quietly.

"Fine," I mumbled.

"Kurt we want to know-"

"I'm fine, alright?" I snapped. I felt bad when I say the hurt looks cross my two friends' faces. "I'm sorry, it's just... I don't know what I'm feeling."

"It's okay white boy," said Mercedes. "Maybe talk about it? We're here to listen"

I stayed silent for a few minutes before beginning to speak. "I don't know, I mean, I'm doing okay. I haven't had any slurs, any slushies, any locker slams, nothing of the sorts since I've arrived at Dalton. I assume it's because of the no bullying policy they have but I just feel like it's fake. I don't think anyone would do anything if there was bullying. And I feel scared _all_ the time. I can't trust anyone because I just feel they'll end up like..." I shook my head and sighed, looking out the window at the falling leaves.

"Kurt, I looked on the site, both me and Rachel did, and I'm pretty sure the no-bullying policy is legitimate. It's all over the site. I'm pretty sure it's one of the main selling points."

"They could be sued if it wasn't," Rachel added.

"I just... don't believe it," I said.

"After everything that went down at McKinley, I'd be surprised if you did right away. But tell me, have you seen any bullying happen at all so far?" Mercedes asked.

"No, but what does that prove? That it doesn't happen in public? That doesn't mean it's non-existent in private."

"Kurt, if there was, it would be dealt with," said Rachel.

"But it still happens," I muttered.

"I don't think so," said Mercedes.

"You haven't even been there," I said.

"I know enough information," said Mercedes. "And I get that it might take time to accept it, but I'm sure there's tons of people at Dalton who transferred because of that policy. I think if there had been a problem, the school would have been sued if they did nothing about it."

"And I _completely_ understand where you're coming from with trusting people. I know from my experience with Jesse, of course," said Rachel.

"You never had troubles with it," I muttered. "You just got together with my step-brother."

Rachel ignored my comment and continued speaking. "I get that you don't want someone to do that to you again, and you're scared of risking it. But you can't just hide in a corner your whole time at Dalton."

"It's an alcove, actually," I cut in.

"Kurt, please don't tell me you were serious?" Mercedes asked. She sighed when I shrugged.

"Kurt you have to go out and make friends. Not everyone wants to hurt you," said Rachel.

"And how am I supposed to tell the people that do want to hurt me and the people that don't apart from each other if they're acting the same?" I snapped. "I don't want to risk it."

"Kurt, life is full of risks. You're taking a risk right now sitting with us in a coffee shop-" Mercedes said.

"Oh I very well know that."

"-But don't you want to have someone to talk to at Dalton?"

"It's not like anyone wants to listen to the stupid gay fag talk about how much his life sucks."

"Don't you _dare_ talk like that Kurt," snapped Rachel. "You are an amazing person. People just can't look past your sexual preference. I feel honoured to be your friend."

"Rachel's right boo," said Mercedes. "And I wouldn't say no one wants to listen to you. We do. Everyone else in New Directions does. Your dad, Carole, they'd want to listen to you if you let them."

"They aren't at Dalton."

"Well, what about that boy, what's his name? Blaise? Blake? He seems to want to talk to you!" Rachel piped up.

"It's Blaine," I informed.

"Well, Blaine seemed to want to talk to you," said Mercedes.

"I can't trust him," I said. "I can't trust anyone."

Rachel bit her lip and said softly, "You don't even have to tell him everything. You don't have to tell him anything about McKinley if you aren't comfortable. But you need _someone_ to be able to say hi to in the halls. You need someone to just talk to about whatever. You don't have to be extremely close to him, but as long as you talk to him and go up to him, that's all we want."

"I'm not talking to him outside of school."

"Kurt, even if it's just in class, that's fine," said Rachel. "You still have someone to talk to. It's unhealthy to keep to yourself five days a week. Promise me you'll try?"

"I don't need to," I said.

"Kurt, please. Boy, you need human contact."

"I don't have to promise because I do talk to him in class."

"Really?" Mercedes asked, raising an eyebrow.

"We got to pick seats the second day of Literature and I went and sat down next to him," I said simply. I didn't miss the happy looks on both girls' faces.

"Have you talked to him at all?" Rachel asked. "Aside from asking to borrow a pencil or something similar," she added.

"We had a discussion yesterday about the book we're reading in class," I said.

"Were you told to?" Mercedes asked.

"Yes, but I talk a little bit with him before class starts and we walk part ways to our next class together. And we talk in music a little bit, but not as much because there's two other people at the table I'm kind of scared of."

"That's all we ask Kurt," said Mercedes, smiling softly. "If it's enough for you, it's enough for us."

"Just a question though," said Rachel. "Why are you scared of the two other boys?"

"I don't know. They're bigger than me. They often use hand gestures when they talk and they sometimes talk really loud."

"Understandable," Rachel said. "Are they Blaine's friends?"

I nodded. "It seems like they're close."

"Then I'm sure they won't hurt you. Have you talked to them without Blaine?" Mercedes asked.

"A little, not really though."

"Don't worry Kurt," said Rachel. "As long as you're talking to someone."

"So, what do you think about Sam and Quinn?"

"They're together?" I asked, taking a sip of my coffee.

"Boy, were you listening to anything we said in the car?"

"Not really," I admitted.

"Well..."

* * *

><p>We were long finished our coffees when we decided to leave. After their interrogation they didn't bring up the subject of Blaine, Dalton, or making friends again which I was thankful for. I listened to all the drama going on in the school and tried to understand where half of it came from.<p>

"Anything you want to do?" Rachel asked when they sat in her car, this time with Kurt in the backseat. "We can go see a movie. Shopping?"

"I don't know any of the movies that are out," said Kurt. He bit his lip before asking, "Could we maybe go to Barnes and Noble?" He doubted they'd want to go, neither of them read, though Rachel had many books about Broadway.

Rachel looked confused but nodded. "Sure, if you want. Why, are you going to get the new Vogue?" she asked.

"No, I like to read."

"Since when?" asked Mercedes.

"Since I learned how," I said. I never told Mercedes about my love of reading since I knew she didn't care much for books.

"Sure, we can head over now," said Rachel, pulling out of the lot and heading in the direction of the bookstore.

When we arrived I climbed out and walked to the door, holding it open for the two girls. I knew I didn't have much time in the store so I headed over to the Children and Teens section in the store.

I was always comfortable in bookstores. Maybe part of the reason was because none of my tormentors would ever set foot in a bookstore, but I felt safe hidden in between the rows of shelves with the scent of new pages around me.

I let myself search out any titles that would be of interest. Some popped out at me, others my eyes only drifted over. I eventually got to Harry Potter. I pulled the shortest one out and read the back. I hadn't ever seen a Harry Potter movie before. All I knew was that it was about a wizard. The back didn't make the book appeal to me, but for some reason I had to know why Blaine liked it so much. I saw a sale on a box set of the hardcover versions of each book. I decided that I may as well buy them all. I looked to see Mercedes and Rachel skimming over a magazine so I decided to look around a bit longer. A few minutes later I got a text.

_When you're done we'll be in the car – Mercedes_

I decided to go to the cash to buy the books instead of making them wait longer. A few minutes later I was heaving the heavy bag out to Rachel's car.

"What did you buy?" Mercedes asked.

"Harry Potter," I mumbled, feeling a little bit pathetic.

"Isn't that wizards?" Rachel asked, turning to me with questioning eyes.

I shrugged.

"I didn't know you'd be into that," Mercedes commented.

"Blaine seemed shocked I hadn't read it. Why not try it?" I mumbled.

"You two talked about books?" Rachel asked.

"We both like to read and we seem to have read a lot of the same stuff."

"That's good," said Rachel, smiling. "So now that you've got your Harry Potter books, is there anything else you want to do?"

"Not really," I said. "I kind of have a lot of homework."

"I have to babysit in an hour anyways," said Mercedes. "Rachel, do you mind dropping me off first?"

"Nope!"

Rachel drove to Mercedes' house. The two girls were talking. I didn't join their conversation but I listened. I climbed to the front seat, giving Mercedes a wave as she entered her home.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" Rachel asked as we pulled onto my street.

"I'll probably do homework and head back to Dalton in the evening."

"Would you want to go out to Breadsticks with the rest of New Directions tomorrow before you leave?" she asked. "We were planning on going out, and I'd love if you joined us."

"Sure," I said. I wasn't sure how comfortable I was with that, but I had all of New Directions to back me up if anyone came up to me.

Rachel grinned. "See you later then!"

I nodded and climbed out, getting my bag from the backseat.

"Bye," I said, before turning and entering my home. My dad was on me in an instant.

"How was it?" he asked. "Did you go shopping?"

"I went to Barnes and Noble dad," I said.

"Oh? Don't you have enough books?"

"Blaine suggested a few books so I thought I may as well get them," I said noncommittally.

"That's good," said my dad.

"If you'll excuse me, I need to get some more homework done," I said, pushing past him.

"Alright kiddo," he said.

* * *

><p>By the time I was supposed to leave for Breadsticks, I had worked my way farther into my work. I still didn't really understand physics, but I got some of the questions right so I supposed I was doing something right.<p>

I was greeted enthusiastically when I got to the table New Directions had reserved. I sat down and listened as they talked about everything and nothing. I didn't say much except to answer their questions about Dalton. They tried to include me, I just didn't have anything to say on the topics they were discussing.

It was around seven o'clock when I decided to leave. I could tell they all wanted to hug me, but Brittany was the only person who did. I flinched, but I knew she didn't mean any harm.

When I sat down in my car, I typed up a text to Blaine.

_I'm leaving for Dalton now – Kurt_

_Cool! See you soon! If you want you can stop by my dorm when you get in? I have movies! – Blaine _

_I'm pretty tired, I'll probably just go to sleep – Kurt_

_Ok then, but drop by and say hi! – Blaine_

I put my phone away and drove in the direction of Dalton. I got there around nine o'clock. I still had an hour before curfew, but I decided to go in my room anyways. As I headed up the stairs, I carried a box of books. I hadn't been able to pack any when I first arrived, so I was glad I'd have some of my own reading material.

I put the box on the floor and made a split-second decision to let Blaine know I had arrived. It was only after I knocked that I realized I could be making a mistake, but I heard him shout, "Its open!"

I entered nervously. I saw him half-lying on his bed reading, his back propped up with a pillow. He wasn't wearing any gel, and his hair looked like a mop. He had glasses perched on his nose and was wearing Dalton sweatpants a baggy white t-shirt. He looked up and beamed when I entered. Maybe I would have found him adorable if things hadn't turned out the way they did.

"Hey Kurt! How was your weekend?" he asked, sitting up properly, his feet hanging over the edge of the bed.

"Nice, yours?"

He shrugged. "So-so. You sure you don't want to watch a movie?"

"I'm pretty tired," I said.

"That's alright," he said, shrugging. "Oh!" he reached back and picked up the book he had been reading and held up the cover. "I got it. I'm only a few chapters in, but it seems good so far," he said. Sure enough he was holding up _The Book Thief_.

I nodded. "I got Harry Potter this weekend too," I admitted.

Blaine's face could rival a child's on Christmas. "Really? Have you started? And please tell me you got _Philosopher's Stone_. It's the first one."

"I got the box set, and no, I've been doing homework the entire time," I said.

"That's great!" said Blaine happily. "If you want, you can bring it in here and start it."

I bit my lip. For some reason, part of me wanted to, but the bigger half didn't so I shook my head. "I'm going to go to sleep."

"Okay, see you tomorrow Kurt!" said Blaine. "Thanks for dropping by."

I nodded once and left the room. I put on some pyjamas and slowly fell asleep.

* * *

><p><strong>Kurt actually shouldn't be talking to Blaine so much, but he won't have it any other way.<strong> **I find that characters control the writers sometimes. Is that just me?**

**Thank you to everyone reading this. I've been getting lots of good feedback which always makes me smile. Please keep reviewing! **


	5. Chapter 5

**I think this story is going to be shorter than I thought. I don't have a specific number of chapters, but I just think it'll be less than what I thought.**

**I'm just wondering if I lost anyone over the hiatus? Hopefully I didn't, but I noticed the review count was less than half of what I normally get for this. It could've been the chapter though.**

**I apologize to calendarpages who I told this would be put up Friday. I didn't anticipate so many tests coming my way. BUT I'm off for Christmas Tuesday. Yay!  
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**This is shorter than the other chapters, but it's one of those important ones that push the plot along. Enjoy!  
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><p><strong>Chapter 5<strong>

I sat down in Literature a few minutes before the bell rang. From what I understood, Mr. Adams was away and the substitute was giving us a period to work on questions from Friday and read another section. I had already completed the questions so it would be more like a study period for me. I had my physics things with me so I could get a little bit more done.

Blaine walked in and dropped his bag on the floor next to him. He sat down and smiled at me. "Have you finished the questions?" he asked.

"Yes," I answered.

"Cool! Me too. What did you bring to keep yourself occupied?"

"Physics."

"I like physics," said Blaine absentmindedly. When he noticed the surprised look on my face, he looked confused. "What?"

"Nothing," I mumbled, taking out the textbook and notebook I had for Physics.

I was partway through the first question when Blaine said, "You're doing it wrong."

I snapped my head up quickly recovering from jumping. "What?"

"You're doing it wrong and making it too hard. Here, let me show you," said Blaine pulling out a pencil and opening his notebook. "This is all you do."

I looked at his sheet seeing a single equation instead of the four I had. I looked at what he did for a good minute. "That makes so much more sense," I said.

Blaine chuckled. "Try it."

I nodded and started to solve the equation he had on his sheet. After solving it I looked up to see Blaine nodding. "That's exactly right."

"But how do you know that's what you're supposed to do?" I asked, looking in amazement that I got the question right.

"You just have to make sure you're finding out what the question is asking and use the right formula," Blaine explained. "Basically, learning what all the formulas are for is your best bet. Go ahead and try the next one," he said.

I nodded and read the question about three times before tentatively writing down a formula. It was asking how fast a car accelerated traveling down a highway. After writing it down I looked to Blaine to see if it was right or not but he bore a mask of indifference.

"Go on," he said gently.

I solved the equation carefully. When I had the answer he grinned at me.

"Exactly," he said.

I nodded and started the next equation. This time when I was finished he shook his head. "Not quite, you're finding the wrong thing. You're close, the two are very similar, but you aren't exactly right."

For the rest of the class Blaine helped me get through a fair number of worksheets, more than I had ever done in such a short time. He also got me to go back and explained concepts that I didn't understand, like how to determine the amount of resistance brought on by gravity for different situations. I was beginning to get a better grip on it when the bell rang.

"Thank you," I said shyly.

"Not a problem!" said Blaine, smiling brightly. "Like I said, I like physics. If you ever need help with anything, let me know."

"In that case I'll just have to hire you as a tutor," I muttered.

"Just tell me when to meet you," Blaine answered seriously.

"W-What?"

"Just tell me when to meet you," he repeated. "If you need a physics tutor, I'm perfectly capable for the job."

"You don't have to," I mumbled.

"Kurt, seriously, I'd be more than happy to," said Blaine. "We can discuss it more in music, unless you want to meet at lunch?" he asked, sounding slightly pleading.

"Um," I began. I bit my lip. Did I want to risk being with him alone? I didn't think so, but I could really use his help for physics. "Maybe after school?"

Blaine beamed. His huge grin was almost worth risking being attacked.

Almost.

"That'd work great!" he exclaimed. "But I have Warblers until five, so maybe we could meet for dinner and then get to work?"

"Okay," I said uncertainly.

"Great!" said Blaine happily. "Well, I'll see you in music!"

I nodded. "Bye." I left the building and headed over to Lancaster building for my Home Ec. class.

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><p>I arrived to music class a few minutes later than usual as I was asking my French teacher something about the essay. Blaine was sitting down talking to Wes and David.<p>

"I'm just saying _Teenage Dream_ is our best bet," said Blaine as I neared.

"You only want to do it because it'd Kate Perry, Blaine," David argued.

"Everyone knows the song anyways Blaine," Wes said.

"Which is why it would be perfect!" Blaine exclaimed. "If people hear us doing it accapella, it'll be different and unexpected."

"I don't know Blaine," said Wes.

"Please?" Blaine begged as I sat down.

"Kurt, what do you think?" David asked. "Should we do _Teenage Dream_ at Sectionals?"

I felt my heart beat faster being put on the spot. How did I answer? I didn't want to get hurt. "I think whatever you choose will work," I said carefully.

"Seriously, if we did an accapella cover of the song at Sectionals, what would you think?" Wes asked.

"I think it would be good," I mumbled.

"Thank you!" said Blaine.

"But what if we had _Count On Me _instead? Which would you prefer?" David asked.

I shrugged. "I don't know. What else are you singing?"

"_Hey Soul Sister_ is a definite yes, but we don't have any others selected," Wes informed.

"Why don't you do both?" I suggested.

"Why _don't_ we do both?" David repeated, looking completely baffled that that was an option. "Thanks Kurt!"

I nodded and turned to the front as the bell rang. Mrs. Daniels went to the front holding a small pail. I looked at it, confused for merely a moment before remembering about selecting groups.

I never liked group projects. In elementary it was because no one wanted to go with me. I always had to go with the last person available, or by myself. Even when I was put into a group, the majority of the work would fall on my shoulders. When high school started , things were the same, except _all_ the work was mine to do. After joining glee, some of the load was taken off my shoulders, but it depended on who I was with.

I wasn't sure how much work I would be doing at Dalton. But I did know I would have troubles getting into a group. The only person I really talked to, and was somewhat comfortable with, was Blaine, and it wasn't like he would want to be in a group with me. There were so many others that would be better at working with him; he didn't need someone who could barely speak.

"Class! Settle down!" Mrs. Daniels called. When she was content that she had the full attention of the class, she continued. "So as you know, today we will be picking partners for the major group assignment. I have a pail here," she said, lifting up the pail, "because I couldn't find a hat. "You all know how we're doing this, or do I need to recap you?"

"Recap please!" called Nick, who I recognized from history.

"I'm selecting one name from the pail, and the person called will choose one group member. The chosen member will select one other and that picked person gets the last choice on group members," she explained. "Now, are we all ready to start?"

"Do we get time to talk with our group members today?" asked someone.

"Yes, I'm giving you about fifteen minutes after explaining to meet and discuss," she replied. "Are we ready?"

The class made noises of agreement. Mrs. Daniels reached into the pail and selected a name. "Jeff."

"I'll choose Nick," he answered immediately.

"Trent," Nick said.

"We'll take Thad," said who I assumed was Trent after a few seconds of thought.

"Sounds good to me!" she said. "Next group we have...Wes."

"David," Wes said. For some reason I didn't seem too surprised by that.

"Blaine!" David said after a quick glance at Wes.

"Kurt," Blaine said immediately.

I looked at him in shock. Why did he choose me? Was this part of a ruse? Was the person he was going to pick end up in the first group? Or was it a pity choice?

"If that's okay," Blaine added quickly, seeing my face had turned into something of reluctance.

I nodded slightly and turned back to the front. Mrs. Daniels was giving me an encouraging smile.

"Good! On to the next group," she said.

A few minutes later, all the groups were set up and people were in the process of moving desks to sit closer together. They were making noise while doing so, and I struggled trying to keep my mind at Dalton. I wondered why the noise was affecting me so much at the moment. Being as we were all together, we didn't move. Wes and David started a conversation about some game the jocks had mentioned far too many occasions. I shuffled uncomfortably.

"You don't mind you're with us, do you?" I heard Blaine ask.

I saw him looking at me intently. "No," I said. "I was just surprised."

Blaine smiled. "I'm glad. I kind of put you on the spot. For that, I apologize." He paused, waiting for me to say something. When I didn't, he spoke again. "What period do you have Physics in?"

"Next."

"Right. Are we still on for dinner?" he asked.

"If you want. It's really not-"

"Kurt, I want to help you," Blaine said firmly. "I will be at your dorm at five thirty to go down to the dining hall."

"Okay," I whispered. "Actually, would I be able to meet you there?"

"That sounds fine, just don't stand me up. If that is the case I will text-spam you with messages that give away the ending of Harry Potter. And that would be really bad."

I felt my mouth move. It wasn't a smile, but it was the closest to one I've had in a long time. "I'll be there," I said.

"Pinky promise?" said Blaine, holding up a right fist with his pinky standing straight up.

"I promise," I said after a few moments. I wasn't comfortable with linking our pinkies. When he found out I was gay he would send accusations of me molesting him, and I couldn't afford to be kicked out of Dalton.

"It works," said Blaine, shrugging and turning to the front where Mrs. Daniels was handing people packages with what seemed to be project guidelines. When all were handed out, she walked back to the front.

"Now, as you see, each project has more than one component," she began. "Each group will have a completely different project because you will all be doing a different genre of music. I will be assigning the genre, so if you would please wait a few minutes until we get through this, I can let you know your genres.

"First and foremost what I would like is a history of where this music came from. Of course, this will include research from various sources. I would like to see it in detail. Perhaps how and why it came to be and where and when specific instruments came in. Also, where was it founded? Any details you find that you believe provide to the history will be what you need to have.

"I would also like how it is connected to now. Maybe there are references to pop culture, or it's in pop culture. Maybe it's a popular genre now. I don't know. You'll have to tell me.

"You have to explain to me who listens to this music. If its heard nowadays, tell me what sorts of groups of people listen to it. I will accept stereotypes in this only if it is in an unbiased way. If you want, you can conduct a survey for this section. Perhaps that will help give you a good view if you or any other group members don't listen to it. I accept quotes from people about why they like the music. On the other side, you can tell me who _doesn't_ like the music as well. If this music is no longer really around, tell me who listened to it back in the day.

"I'd like to see something about famous artists, and in turn famous songs. They can be from any time, but it would be nice if you show some through the time period of this music. I want to see at least 8 artists and over 20 songs. I know this is a lot, don't complain. For the artists, if you could give me a short biography on them and reasons why they are so well known. For the song, tell me the artist, album, why the song is known, maybe a short history.

"All of this will be compiled in a report. I won't be giving specific length necessities, because each is different. As well as the report, each group will present their project in an interesting way. Basically, I don't want to see you come up and read off of notes. Make it fun!" Mrs. Daniels concluded. "Everything I may have forgotten to mention, or decided not to mention, can be found in the package. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask."

"What genre do we have?" asked Jeff.

"I'm going to come around and let you know now," said Mrs. Daniels. "Just be patient until I reach you."

I quietly read through the expectations, noticing she added another course outline which showed that the project was now worth 25%, the same amount as our final. The project was large, and important, and would involve too much social contact for my liking.

"Ok boys," said Mrs. Daniels coming up behind me and brushing against my arm. I flinched, and could tell they all looked at me with concern. "I'm going to assign you Broadway as your topic. You all usually listen to Top 40 and I think you're up for the challenge of one of the larger projects. I want you to also describe Broadway itself, and the plays as well as everything I've already mentioned. I'll be giving you a separate sheet for that."

I felt a feeling of dread settle over me. Broadway. Of course, we would be the one genre Old Kurt listened to religiously. I still knew a lot about it. Saying what I knew would reveal that I was gay. Feigning naivety would do nothing because of the presentations. The whole class would be questioning our group's sexuality when we presented it. I didn't want Dalton to turn into another McKinley. I wouldn't be able to handle it.

Next thing I knew a hand was waving in front of my face.

"No, guys, he doesn't like being touched, I'm not going to poke him to get his attention," I heard Blaine say.

I shook my head to snap myself back into reality. "Sorry," I mumbled. "It won't happen again." _Please don't hurt me_.

"Don't worry Kurt," said Wes, smiling politely. "It happens to the best of us."

"So we were planning on meeting at the library around 7 o'clock to start working," said David. "Is that okay?"

"Fine," I said. I didn't have much of a choice, but I assumed I'd be there with Blaine anyways.

"Great," said David, just as the bell rang. He and Wes picked up their unopened books and left the class with the project requisite sheets.

I was about to exit the classroom when Mrs. Daniels called me back. Blaine seemed hesitant to leave but did so when I nodded in the direction of the hall. I walked over to Mrs. Daniel's desk, where she was seated.

"Have I done something wrong Mrs. Daniels?" I asked quietly.

"Not at all Kurt. I'm just checking how you're settling in," she said.

"I'm fine," I said. Now that I thought of it, I guess I was. I hadn't been harassed, at least.

"You seem rather jumpy from what I've noticed," she said.

I shrugged. I was, but it didn't really matter.

"Have you been making friends at all?" she asked. "Blaine seems to want to be friends."

"I guess," I mumbled.

"I know, to some extent what happened at your old school. You're safe here Kurt. Not since I've begun teaching here have I seen any forms of bullying," she said softly. "Kurt, are you okay? I understand that the adjustment is difficult from fear to safety, and I promise you, you shouldn't feel scared at Dalton because no one will harass you in any form."

"I'm fine," I repeated.

She sighed. "Alright. I'm happy to lend an ear if you need someone to listen."

"Thank you Mrs. Daniels," I said, leaving the class and running off to Physics, barely making it to my seat before the bell rang.

I tried to understand what the teacher was explaining but it just didn't seem to be working in my mind. By the end of the class, I had a headache that made me feel like my mind was going to explode. It wasn't that the teacher was a horrible educator, it was just his style wasn't compatible with my brain. That, and physics was not my forte.

I walked over to my alcove to relax. I could have been doing make-up work, but I knew I wouldn't be able to concentrate. So I began to read Harry Potter instead.

I didn't know how long I read. I felt my phone buzz and decided to pry my eyes away from the book to look at my phone.

_Where are you? If you don't answer this within a minute I'm going to tell you all sorts of spoilers – Blaine_

I looked at the message for a few seconds before realizing that it was 5:37. "Shoot," I mumbled. Hopefully Blaine wouldn't be too angry. It was anger that often fueled harassment at McKinley.

_Please don't. I'm sorry, I lost track of time. I'm on my way – Kurt_

_No worries! I'll save a table :) – Blaine_

I got up and piled my books together and half-ran in the direction of Windsor building where they served dinner. The dining hall wasn't too full yet and it was easy to spot Blaine sitting alone among the tables. Blaine grinned when he saw me walk over.

"I'm really sorry," I mumbled.

"Don't worry about it," said Blaine assuredly. "It happens to the best of us." I waited, standing perfectly straight, for him to start... doing something. I wasn't sure what yet. He gave me a curious look. "What are you waiting for? Put your books down and get something to eat."

I nodded quickly and set them down before rushing off to find something to eat. Nothing really appealed to me in the Speacials so I just got a salad and some water. It was something Old Kurt would have chosen, but I wanted to be healthy anyways.

"That's not very much food," Blaine commented when I set the tray down.

I shrugged. "I'm not that hungry," I mumbled.

"Your stomach," said Blaine, taking a bite of his lasagne. "So if I may ask, what were you doing to lose track of time? Sleeping? Because I've been late to more Warbler rehearsals than I can count for sleeping but they don't know that because I always make a grand entrance for whatever number we've been working on."

I looked at him with slight amusement. "No, I was reading."

"Harry Potter?" Blaine asked excitedly, bouncing slightly while leaning forwards quickly.

I flinched slightly at his reaction and nodded slowly.

"That's great! How do you like it? What part are you at?" he asked. He calmed down slightly but I could tell he was bubbling with excitement.

"It's different than what I normally read," I said slowly. "But it is rather good."

Blaine beamed. "I'm glad! So what part are you at?"

"He's going to Kings Cross Station," I said softly.

"I like that part," Blaine said. "The first time I went to Europe I forced my parents to go. They weren't impressed and made me go to some boring gala dinner, but it was worth it."

"Oh," I said. "What do your parents do?"

"Something in politics," Blaine said, rolling his eyes. "It's definitely something I won't be going into. Unless... No, even then I probably wouldn't. What about yours? You don't have to tell me if you aren't comfortable with it," he added seeing my fearful expression.

"Do you often travel with them?" I asked. My last name was in my dad's shop's name. He didn't need to have the place vandalized.

"No," said Blaine sighing. "Even in the summer, it's usually just them who go, and they're usually gone for long periods of time with only a few days at home. I said they were in Europe, right?"

"You mentioned it," I replied.

"They were upset about going to Europe because it wasn't extravagant as some of the other places they go," he said rolling his eyes. "But enough about my parent issues. How was Physics?"

"Headache inducing," I sighed.

"Well, what were you learning?" Blaine asked.

"Something about impact velocity from heights," I said. "I don't get it."

"Well, that's why I'm here," said Blaine. He finished eating and waited for me to finish. I only ate about half my salad before deciding to throw it out.

We walked to the library mostly in silence. Blaine had a few books with him, but not many compared to the load I had. I'd meant to work on some after school but I got distracted with reading.

We found a secluded table which worried me, but Blaine assured that it was quieter there than anywhere else in the almost silent library. I felt my back tense as I sat down, with my back straight, my feet prepared to run if need be. I took out my physics notes and allowed Blaine to flip through them.

"Okay, so first thing, I came up with a few questions for you to do to recap what we did in Literature," Blaine said, taking out his own sheet of paper. "Try not to use your notes, I want to see what you can remember."

"You didn't have to do that," I mumbled. I looked at the sheet. Blaine's writing was large and neat, making it easily legible.

"Kurt, it's no problem. I want you to do well," Blaine said. "And I think this might help. If it doesn't, well, I'm not a teacher. I'm trying my best."

"It's more than I thought you would do," I said. I took out a piece of loose leaf and began to try and solve the ten questions on the sheet.

About half an hour later, I looked up guiltily. "Sorry for taking so long," I said, noticing Blaine is working on his own homework.

"Hm? Oh, let me see," he said, taking my answers and looking through them. "So you remember most of it," he said slowly. "But you still don't seem to understand Harmonic Motion."

"Sorry," I mumbled.

"Don't worry," said Blaine. "That didn't go through my brain right away either, but I understand it now. First, you have to..."

After another more detailed explanation, it started to go through my head what I had to do in order to solve the problems. Blaine gave me some rough, scribbled questions which he said I'd gotten correct.

A brief thought flittered through my mind: What if Blaine was lying about how to do this? The jocks never pulled anything like that off, mostly because they were idiot Neanderthals, but Blaine was well educated. Was he lying about all of this? Even if he didn't, one failed Physics test wouldn't do too much to my mark.

"...Kurt?"

I snapped my attention back to Blaine. "Hm?"

"You blanked out – don't apologize its fine. Wes just texted me to let me know they were heading down," Blaine explained.

I nod and listen to him as he explains the concept we learned today. By the time Wes and David arrive, I fully understand – if Blaine isn't making everything up – which would be useful for the next day.

"How do you want to start?" Wes asked.

"I think we should all find stuff about the history," Blaine suggests. "And maybe we can come up with the songs and singers together. She said we'd get bonus marks if we compiled a list of at least 5 famous musicals too."

"That works for me," David agreed. "Pop culture stuff we'll have to research on our own. Maybe each of us could have one section of it and do research on it?"

"That's a good idea," Wes agreed.

"Kurt, what do you think?" Blaine asked, turning to me.

"It's fine," I mumbled.

"Do you prefer another way? Or-"

"I'm fine with doing it that way," I said firmly.

"Okay then," said Wes. "So pop culture... TV, movies, books, what else?"

"Clothes," Blaine suggested. "Advertisements too."

"We can't really make references to Broadway in clothes," David said.

I bit my lip. "Can't you buy shirts from musicals?" I asked nervously.

"Can you?" David asked aloud.

Blaine nodded. "I saw a travelling show of Rent and they had a merchandise stand. I bought a shirt."

"Oh..." said Wes quietly, before perking up. "Okay then. Blaine, you do clothes and books because you like to read. I'll do advertisements. David, you do movies and Kurt, you can do TV," Wes decided, jotting everything down.

"I think we should also compile a list of random facts," Blaine commented.

"Give us an example," Wes said.

"Longest running show-"

"Yes. Blaine, you do that," Wes said. "Kurt, you can work on the musical sheet. But don't do that yet because we can watch some musicals together."

I nod. I didn't have much of a choice, but I supposed writing about musicals wouldn't be too bad. Soon after that thought I cursed myself and listened as Wes started to list off tasks and ideas.

"So how about we start by doing the history?" Blaine said, cutting Wes off.

"Sure," said David. "I'm going to see what books they have. Kurt, why don't you and I flip through those while Wes and Blaine do research on the computer?"

I felt my pulse quicken but I nod anyways. Why did he want to work with me? He was so much bigger than me, it would be so easy to have him overtake me and leave me in a bloody mess. I looked over to see Blaine smiling happily. He gives me a wink and walks off with Wes in the direction of the computer. Oh god, there were people to attack me, weren't there?

"Let's go find some books," said David, waiting for me to stand before getting up and walking towards the music section of the library.

I noticed that there were subsections in the music area of the library. There were a few 'How to' books, but there were many about different genres. I glanced around, not seeing anybody yet, and started to take out books that might be useful. David did the same and we were soon walking back to our table, my pace slightly frantic.

I relaxed slightly when I sat down. No one had been there to attack me.

For the next hour, I sat perusing the books I had gotten. I was calm, getting used to David a little bit more. The only time he really talked was to ask for a pencil sharpener or an eraser which I handed over silently. He didn't try to start any conversations like Blaine did, and for that, I felt more relaxed. Maybe he would later, but for now, I was content for him not searching for details about my life.

An hour later, Blaine and Wes came back with a few pages of notes. I didn't jump as much as I thought I would when they sat down suddenly and began speaking.

"There's so much information on the internet," Wes whined.

"Did you guys find anything good?" Blaine asked.

"Yeah, there's quite a bit in these books. I found a page with random facts, by the way Blaine," David said, passing over a book with a sticky note on a page.

"These are great, thanks David!" Blaine said.

"No problem," David said. "But seriously, I found tons in here. You seemed to have lots too, right Kurt?"

I nodded quickly, and passed over my notes.

Wes whistled lowly. "That's some neat handwriting."

I blushed and looked at my hands.

"Wow," said David, looking over Wes' shoulder. "I wish I had writing like that. Mine looks like chicken scratch."

Blaine smiled. "His numbers are neat too," he said.

"How do you know?" Wes asked.

"He's helping me with physics," I mumbled.

"Dude, why the hell don't you ever help me with physics?" David accused.

"Because you laugh at everything I say," Blaine answered. "Kurt pays attention."

"Fine, replace me with Kurt," David said overdramatically.

Blaine rolled his eyes. "So do you want to meet here tomorrow?"

"Same time," David agreed, picking up his books.

"We should have another day of research for history I think," said Wes. "And then on Wednesday we can plan out the history write-up."

"Works for me," said Blaine. "You Kurt?"

I nodded and started to pack up my things. Mr. Turner would be away tomorrow and he said I would hand in the history assignments the next day. I supposed I would just work on them tomorrow.

"Alright then," said Wes. "We're off to have a COD tournament. Any of you want to join?"

Blaine and I both shook our heads.

"Your loss," said David, leaving the library with Wes.

"Do you want to go over more physics or do you want to leave it for the night?" Blaine asked.

"Um, I think we can do more tomorrow, if you want to of course."

"Tomorrow works," Blaine agreed. "Same time?"

I nodded and followed Blaine out of the library.

"Do you maybe want to watch a movie in my dorm?" Blaine asked.

"No thanks," I mumbled.

"If you're sure," Blaine said. "My collection is waiting."

"I am."

"Alright. What are you going to do then?"

"Probably get ready for bed," I answered. "Maybe read a bit more."

"Okay then," said Blaine. He started idle chatter as we walked in the direction of the dorms.

"Goodnight Kurt," Blaine said when we reached his door. "Sweet dreams."

"You too," I mumbled, walking off to my room.

After I was ready for bed, I only managed to get through one chapter before falling softly asleep.

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><p><strong>So much progress... In my mind at least.<strong>

**I need you guys to know that A) I'm Harry Potter B) I play guitar and C) If I can conquer that dragon's heart, I can do it with yours.**

**Joking. Though I do play guitar. Or used to. ...**

**But what I was going to say was that I've never had a Physics course in my life. I should be doing one right now in science but instead we've been doing weather, which technically I'm not sure if it's on the curriculum. My first science teacher wasn't going to teach weather. The questions/stuff I mentioned about it was either from my cousin spitsgirl18 or from a site called Khan Academy which is supposed to really help with math/science related stuff.**

**I also don't know Broadway very well. I mean, I saw Wicked and Sound of Music live but that's about it. I have some DVDs, but I'm not super knowledgeable ****(had to google how to spell that word. Google is lovely).**

**I'm excited for Christmas. I will post by then FYI.**

**Thank you to everyone who is reading and reviewing. You guys are all amazing!**


	6. Chapter 6

**I am SO sorry about how late this was! I got a major case of Writer's Block for his fic and it's only just leaving. So I'm extremely sorry. And I hope you all had an amazing Holiday!  
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**And the reviews last chapter? THANK YOU! *passes out cupcakes* We have surpassed 100 so just... thank you. And it's with only 5 chapters too! xXxShannahBunnyxXx was review #100. And a big thank you to everyone who offered their Broadway knowledge. I may use it later on. **

**I saw a 'We Bought A Zoo' last night. SO adorable! My favorite line was this: 'You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.' I also saw Sherlock Holmes and I swear he and Watson are closeted for each other. I also watched West Side Story which was honestly amazing, and Sweeney Todd ***cue sarcasm*** which was just the happiest movie ever! **

**Yay for Darren who has his first show of How To Succeed in Business Without Really Trying tomorrow night! HE will be amazing. And I am so jealous of you if you get to go :P**

**Did you guys know that the top of toasters don't lie when they say 'Hot Surface'? I burnt my thumb and thought you should know not to go touching the top of toasters when in use.**

**My dog is hilarious. If you have boots and a coat on and are heading towards the back door which leads to the backyard, she knows you're going out to play with her and she goes INSANE. A few days ago, my mom told her she was going on a walk (she understands) and she got really excited. When my mom wasn't taking her right away she came and whined by my bedroom door to see if I would take her. Oh Bonnie...**

**I own nothing, and on with the chapter!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 6<strong>

The next morning I woke up far too early from another nightmare. I knew I wouldn't be able to fall asleep again after that particularly horrible one so I got ready for the day instead. I took a long shower hoping to waste time, but it wasn't completely successful. According to my alarm clock it was five thirty.

I groaned as pieces of the nightmare kept coming in and out of my head. If this were what it would be like all day, I might just fake being sick.

I read somewhere that exercise helped with clearing your head. I couldn't exactly go for a run, but maybe a walk would help. Perhaps reading would too. I didn't have anywhere to go, but figured perhaps a walk to the alcove would be enough. I left my dorm with Harry Potter in hand and headed in the direction of York.

The sky was still dark, with a few stars still visible. The moon was full and was the only source of light on the grounds. I realized that the building was probably locked, but I kept walking anyways. I had nowhere else to go.

I wandered around the grounds for about an hour. It helped a little bit, but not much. I decided to check if York was open so I could visit my alcove. I walked from the opposite side of campus towards the building. I found it unlocked, so I walked inside.

The halls were dark and I struggled to stay calm. I could smell cleaning products so I assumed the janitors were cleaning one of the upper floors. I walked slowly, expecting someone to jump out at me. Each step I took was precise and the same length as the one before. My eyes darted around for any sign of movement, but there was none. It didn't make me any calmer.

As soon as I got back to the alcove, I sat down, feeling much calmer than I had before. I noticed the door beside me which was normally shut, opened a sliver. I eyed it anxiously. Was someone behind the door? What _was _behind the door? I figured it would be best to ignore it so I took out my book and began to read.

Every couple of lines, my eyes flicked to the door. I knew I wouldn't be able to concentrate until I knew exactly what was behind that door. So I steeled up my courage and put my hand on the door, slowly pushing it open. I stood up and carefully peaked my head around the door. My breath caught. Whatever I expected was behind the door, was not this.

A few lights illuminated a large auditorium - maybe theatre would be a better word - with over six hundred deep red seats looking towards me. There were a few levels balconies at the back, as well as a number of private balconies on each side of the theatre. Just at the edge of the stage was a small pit for an orchestra. I was standing on the side of the stage, stage right to be precise. From the audience's view – if one were there - I would be hidden by small navy curtains that hung on the sides. The main curtain, which was raised, was also navy blue with a little bit of red – what I assumed, when hung down, was the Dalton crest. The stage itself was empty, save for a lone ebony grand piano.

I walked onto the center of the stage and looked out in amazement, feeling a wave of calm wash over me, my nightmare completely disappearing from my mind. I looked up and saw dozens of different sized lights. There were some sort of panels on the roof that either helped with acoustics, or were there for soundproofing. Maybe both. The catwalk, which was hardly visible, had many more large lights on it.

I sat down slowly on the center of the stage. I hadn't known Dalton had an auditorium, let alone one of this size. Though I couldn't say I was completely surprised. I wondered how often it was used. Did Dalton put on plays? Was the graduation held here? Did people have lectures here? I didn't know the answers, and at the moment I didn't care to find out.

I took a deep breath, inhaling the smell of wood shavings, paint and fabric. There was also a faint hint of sweat. The smell is so familiar, so comforting. I didn't want to admit it, but it smelt almost like home.

I had an urge to stand and walk over to the grand piano, where I could sit on the bench and start to play. But I didn't. I stayed where I was, took out Harry Potter, and read in the comfortable silence that existed when you were alone in an auditorium.

I eventually got up when it was time for me to go get my books and head to history. Just as I was going back through the door that exited to my alcove, I paused and looked back, trying to memorize the auditorium in case it was the last time I would see it.

A substitute was there like Mr. Turner had promised.

"Okay, you have a group reading assignment in the textbook that needs to be completed by the end of class tomorrow," the substitute read. That simple sentence was the only thing he said the entire class.

"Hey, you're friends with Blaine, right?" asked Nick, turning around to look at me.

I looked up in shock. Did Blaine consider me to be his friend? Or were they merely making assumptions? I shrugged.

"Do you want to join me and Jeff for the assignment?" Nick asked.

"Sure," I said quietly. We joined our desks to make some sort of awkward triangle and begin to read silently.

"So...it says we have to discuss which ancient empire was the most important and why. And then write an essay describing our reasons," Jeff paraphrased. He groaned. "Why does that sound so painful?"

Nick rolled his eyes. "It's an essay, not a death sentence. So, what do you think? I'm thinking the Egyptians."

"Don't be ridiculous, it's the first one that's the most important," Jeff argued before listing his reasons.

I listened as Nick and Jeff argued about which was the more important ancient civilization in silence. I really didn't care what we did. Whichever civilization we decided upon was fine by me.

"What do you think Kurt? Egypt or Mesopotamia?" Jeff asked.

"I'm fine with either," I mumbled.

"But which do you think is more important? Egypt of Mesopotamia?"

"Um, neither," I said.

"Oh? Which do you think?" Nick asked curiously.

"Rome," I mumbled.

"Why's that?"

I quietly voiced my reasons as they listened intently. When I was finished, I looked up from my textbook to see them nodding.

"That makes a lot of sense actually," Nick said thoughtfully.

"I still think Mesopotamia has more of an effect though," said Jeff.

"No, I agree with Kurt," said Nick, flashing me a smile. "And it's two against one, so sorry Jeffery."

"Don't call me that," Jeff glared. "But I'm cool with Rome. They had the gladiators right?"

"Yes," said Nick simply.

The rest of class we spent working. Our outline was complete, as were our first two paragraphs. We would most likely be done halfway the class.

"See you Kurt!" Nick called as we split paths.

I found Blaine intently reading when I walked into Literature.

"Hey," I said as I sat down.

"Hey," Blaine answered right away. He put a bookmark in and turned to me. "How was History?"

"It was okay," I said. "I'm working with Nick and Jeff for an in-class essay."

"Cool! They're the friends I mentioned a while ago," said Blaine happily. "Are you okay with that?"

I paused and furrowed my eyebrows. "I guess," I said slowly.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing," I said. _Nothing except the fact that I was fairly relaxed the whole period. _I wouldn't want to be with either of them alone – that was too much – but I was fairly comfortable with them in class. I was shocked at the change that occurred in only a week of being at Dalton. Maybe my dad was right. Maybe it _would_ help me.

"What are you doing right after school?" Blaine asked. "Would you maybe want to watch a movie before working on Physics?"

I bit my lip. "No thanks."

"It's cool," said Blaine, not failing to hide his disappointment.

I felt surprisingly guilty for putting that kicked puppy look on his face. I wasn't sure why, but I didn't like it. "Blaine?" I asked quietly, waiting for Blaine to look up. "Maybe we could watch the first Harry Potter when I'm done the book?"

Blaine looked like Christmas came early. "That sounds wonderful Kurt," he said in a controlled but excited voice.

"So, what are you doing this weekend?" Blaine asked.

"I'm going home, but other than that I'm not sure," I said.

"I was wondering if you'd maybe want to come see the Warblers compete at Sectionals on Saturday," Blaine said. "I know you don't really like music, but I'd love to have you there. But if you want to spend time with your family, that's cool too."

"I'll think about it," I said carefully.

Most of New Directions had been texting me non-stop to see if I was going to their Sectionals or not. I still hadn't made my decision, though it was likely I would end up being dragged there no matter what it was.

"Just let me know," said Blaine giving me a smile.

"Chances are I won't," I admitted. "Some friends might drag me away to... do things."

"As long as you're considering it I'm happy," said Blaine. "And don't worry about it if you can't."

"Right," I said, just as the bell rang.

* * *

><p>My lunches were spent in the auditorium the next few days, which had remained unlocked. I went there right after school as well while I waited for Blaine to finish his Warblers rehearsal. At around 5:30 I would meet Blaine for supper and then we would head down to the library where he would tutor me in Physics until Wes and David showed up. At that point, we would work on the project. It was coming along well for the short time we had known about it.<p>

"Good morning Kurt," said Blaine as he sat down next to me in Literature that Thursday.

"Good morning," I mumbled.

"Listen, I'm afraid we can't have our tutor session," Blaine explained, sounding slightly put out for one reason or another.

"That's fine," I said. I didn't expect he'd want to keep tutoring my anyways.

"It's just Wes is making us do extra practices so we'll be our best Saturday and I'm pretty sure we won't be able to work on our project either," he expanded.

"It's fine," I said. "I'll just work on other homework."

"Okay," he said, smiling slightly. "We can get back to tutoring Monday, if you want."

I shrugged. "Only if you do. It doesn't matter."

Blaine smiled wider. "I do."

"Alright then," I said, my voice still much quieter than what most people spoke.

"So have you thought about Saturday at all?" Blaine asked curiously.

"Not really."

"Oh, okay. Well, you have my number so let me know," Blaine said. When I didn't respond, he changed the topic. "I'm performing something in music tomorrow. If Wes lets me."

"Oh," I said, unsure of what my response should be. "What, um, what is it?"

"You'll see," he said, smiling mischievously.

I could feel my heart pound harder. Last time someone had smiled at me like that... I shook my head to clear my thoughts and pushed my chair a few inches away from his. It didn't make me feel much better, but I supposed it was the most I could do. I could feel myself tense, my back completely straight in a way it would be very easy for me to run. If Blaine noticed the change in position, he didn't say anything.

Even though Mrs. Daniels had said to me that the no-bullying policy was enforced, I couldn't trust it. McKinley's 'No Physical Bullying' was supposedly enforced, but I had proof it was completely ignored. She said she had seen no forms of bullying, but even though I liked her well enough, she was probably completely oblivious to it like Mr. Schuester was.

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><p>Lunch came faster than I expected. I decided I wasn't hungry so I headed straight towards the auditorium. I wondered briefly if anyone knew about the door I used. I had gone to the main door into the auditorium and found it locked both times I checked. It was sort of like a blessing, I supposed, being able to have <em>somewhere<em> to go where I felt safe.

I felt my phone buzz as I sat on the stage, with my legs hanging over the edge.

_How's Dalton? – Mercedes_

_Fine – Kurt_

I knew she didn't like one-word answers such as the one I gave, but I really didn't feel like typing out a detailed response.

_Boy, if you weren't at Dalton, I'd be hitting you over the head with the English paper I just got back. Not hard, just enough to mess up your hair. – Mercedes_

I texted a quick apology and took out some homework to work on. It didn't matter if I had ample time tonight, tomorrow night, and the rest of the weekend. I just felt like getting it started.

_So, you coming to Sectionals? – Mercedes_

_I don't know – Kurt_

_Please? I have a ticket for you – Mercedes_

_Even if I say no, I have a feeling you'll drag me out – Kurt_

_So if that a yes? – Mercedes_

_I suppose – Kurt_

_Love you white boy. Your dad and Finn's mom are coming too. So are my parents, and Tina's parents and Quinn's mom and a bunch of others... – Mercedes_

_Fun – Kurt _

_It'll be a blast if you let yourself enjoy it – Mercedes_

_And if Rachel stops complaining – Mercedes_

_What's the problem this time? – Kurt_

_She doesn't have a solo – Mercedes_

I felt his eyebrows shoot up in surprise. That was definitely news to him. Rachel always got a solo. I wondered briefly what made Mr. Schuester change his mind.

_Oh really? _– Kurt

_I'm serious. And she won't shut up about it. I mean, I love her and all but she's being a real pain at the moment. She actually taped her mouth shut for glee the other day in a vow of silence. It was great not having her talk, but her reasons for doing so kind of outweighed her lack of speaking – Mercedes_

_Such a diva, that girl is – Kurt_

_No kidding. – Mercedes_

_If you don't mind me asking, who does have a solo? – Kurt _

_Quinn and Sam are doing the first number, and then Santana is doing the second – Mercedes_

_You don't have one? – Kurt_

_No, but at least he's picking other people. And as much as I want a solo, I have had my time to shine every competition performance – Mercedes_

_True – Kurt_

_I think you would have gotten one. If you were still here – Mercedes_

_Well, I'm not. – Kurt_

_Don't I know. Class is starting soon. Make sure you eat, sleep and talk to people. Ttyl – Mercedes_

_Bye – Kurt_

After my text-fest with Mercedes, I put my mind strictly on my homework, finishing a good deal of what I had received from my morning classes.

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><p>I felt French go by at snail-pace. There wasn't a particular reason why, the topic we were doing was interesting enough, I just wanted the class to end so he could go to music.<p>

I found that strange. It wasn't like music was as interesting as French, I kept telling myself. The only pros to the class was that there wasn't much work involved aside from the project, the teacher was good and Blaine was in the class. _Why did I put Blaine on the pros?_ I thought, before bringing his mind back to focus on one of his favorite languages.

Just before the bell rang, she reminded us of the essays which were due on Monday. I was already finished mine so it didn't really matter. I'd probably end up going over it another time just to be sure though.

I walked into music with a lot more confidence than I had felt in a long time. As soon as I saw Blaine, who was sitting talking animatedly to Wes and David I felt my heart give a small leap. Even though there were times when I was terrified around him, I was on the edge of trusting him, and it wouldn't take much to make me trust him. Of course, it wouldn't be the extent of how I trust Mercedes and Rachel, but I would trust him either way. I sat down next to Blaine and listened as he finished discussing something with the other two boys.

"I'm just saying, hiring a bus is a much better idea," Blaine said, before turning to me and flashing me a smile. "Hey Kurt."

"Hello," I said.

"How have your classes been?"

"Fine," I said shrugging. I was pleased to find it didn't hurt. My injuries had healed drastically over my time at Dalton which was nice. It no longer caused me pain to do simple actions.

"What did you have last period?" David asked.

"French," I mumbled.

"I despise French," said Wes, shaking his head.

"See, that's why you should have taken Italian," Blaine said.

"Or Spanish," said David. "We could have suffered together."

"I didn't think French was so hard. I thought you just added 'er' on the end of each word."

I chuckled. "You're like my stepbrother."

The three boys turned to look at me with surprised, but happy faces, or in Blaine's case ecstatic.

"What?" I asked carefully.

"Nothing," said Blaine, smiling widely. "You just laughed, that's all."

"I wouldn't call a chuckle laughing," I said, rolling my eyes. I could feel my lips perk up in amusement into my first smile in a long time. It felt great, to be honest.

Blaine smiled wider if it was possible and started to bounce slightly in his seat as the bell rang.

Mrs. Daniels then began to talk about song writing, something a lot of the class seemed to be interested in. I didn't find it as interesting though. I preferred performing to composing – not that I did anymore, of course.

Blaine listened intently throughout her speech. I wondered if he liked writing songs, or if he just found it interesting. For some reason, I could almost see him being the type of person to write songs.

A lot of the class, myself included, looked terrified when she explained that we would have to be writing our own songs to perform sometime after the projects. _I guess I'm wrong about the small workload_, I thought. I glanced over to Blaine to see what he thought of the new assignment, but he had a calm exterior on that gave none of his thoughts and emotions away.

The rest of the class flew by as we began to look at intervals. I already knew them all – both ascending and descending – but put on an ignorant facade. When we practiced recognizing them, I got them all correct. People would hopefully assume it was either beginner's luck or it was just a natural talent.

"Hey, I know we can't really do tutoring, but would you want to eat supper with me when Wes lets us have a break?" Blaine asked. He looked a little bit nervous with the way he clutched his messenger bag's straps and the way his eyes flitted around the halls. Like he knew someone was watching him to check if he was doing his job correctly. And what other job would that be except beat up the new gay kid. I may have almost trusted him, but I was still suspicious of him, as contradictory as that sounded.

"We'll see," I replied before walking off in the direction of my physics class.

I struggled through it, of course, but my mind did wrap around it. I felt confident about it. At least I did until the teacher announced an exam on everything we'd covered since the beginning of the year which would take place in two weeks Friday. I was nowhere ready for it, but what could I do except study my ass off?

I left the class and headed towards my room so I could get a few things more before I headed down towards the auditorium. As soon as I decided I had everything I needed, I went over to York, which housed the large auditorium.

I noticed that it was beginning to get colder as I left Macintyre and walked to York. It would soon be time to take out my winter coat, gloves, a hat, and my scarves. Well, a scarf. The ugly knitted scarf I got from my Great Aunt Mildred. I sighed happily as I entered the much warmer building. I found Dalton's temperatures nice. They were never too hot or cold, unlike McKinley. I was just about to enter the auditorium through the door by my alcove when I paused. There was music playing in there.

I listened closer and recognized the tune to _Hey Soul Sister_. It wasn't Train's version, that I knew. Were the Warblers practicing in the auditorium? I supposed it made sense. I didn't want to double check in fear that they could see me, so I left and walked towards the library. It'd be okay if I sat close to the librarian.

It was rather quiet in the library I noticed when I walked in. Of course it'd be quiet, being the nature of the place, but it was quieter than usual. I decided it was because there weren't that many students, and the ones that were there were all intently reading, or writing, or doing something that didn't involve speaking.

I quickly finished the rest of my homework from the day, also checking my French essay over for the last time. I was soon going over some more of the makeup work, which was now almost non-existent. There were still assignments left for History, and I needed to go over physics more, but for the rest of my classes, there was nothing left to do. I was particularly happy about Home Economics' assignments being finished as no one would walk in on me trying to stitch something. Even though the class was fairly big, I didn't want to have to have to explain why I was doing something so gay.

I was just finishing the last history assignment when I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. I took it out seeing I had received a text from Blaine.

_Hey, Wes is giving us a half hour break. Hungry? – Blaine_

I considered my options after I checked the clock which said that it was six o'clock.

_Not particularly – Kurt_

It wasn't a complete lie. I was hungry, but I could easily wait until after Blaine went back to Warblers practice.

_Ok :( What are you up to? – Blaine_

_Homework – Kurt_

There. A nice simple answer that would give nothing about my location away. Well, it could, but I never said it outright. I could very well be in my dorm doing it.

_How's that going? – Blaine_

_Good. How's practice? – Kurt_

_Wes is being a slave driver, but it's pretty good. I like using the auditorium better than the choir room. – Blaine_

So it was the Warblers in my–the auditorium.

_Why? – Kurt_

_There's just something about being on a stage, you know? – Blaine_

_Yeah, I do – Kurt_

As soon as I sent it I wanted to slap myself. _Why _on Earth would I write that? When he sent a simple question mark in response, I quickly fabricated an answer.

_My friend talks about singing onstage a lot – Kurt_

Well, it wasn't completely fabricated. Rachel Berry's conversations were usually about just that. Sort of.

_Ah – Blaine_

I put my phone down, not having anything to reply to, when suddenly it buzzed again.

_Do you maybe want to see what your friend and I mean sometime? – Blaine_

I stared at the text for a good minute or so. My mind suddenly began to race. How was I supposed to answer _that_? I didn't want to sound like I knew exactly what both of them meant, and I didn't want to sound like I sang at all. I fabricated a few texts before sending the one I decided on.

_I'm no singer – Kurt_

_You don't have to be! – Blaine_

_No, it's fine – Kurt_

_If you're sure. I gtg, Wes is telling us to meet him in a few minutes – Blaine_

_Have fun – Kurt_

I was thankful for Wes making them continue practice because I didn't know how much Blaine would push, and I didn't know how long I'd be able to resist.

About an hour later, I decided to pack up my books and go to the cafeteria for something small to eat. I nibbled on a wrap and headed back in the direction of the library.

When I entered I found it much louder than it was before. I noticed there was a larger group that were sitting in the area I had been before. I only gave them a fleeting glance and found another empty table. I wasn't alone long though.

"Hey Kurt," I heard someone call.

A glance upwards told me it was Blaine. "Hello," I answered quietly.

"May I sit?" Blaine asked. I noticed his voice was hoarser than usual, but I didn't comment.

I nodded and opened my Physics notes. I may as well get something productive done.

"Need help?" he asked immediately as he closed his books. He was sitting directly across from me.

I shrugged. "You can work on your homework."

"Are you sure?"

"Work, Blaine," I told him.

We worked in silence for a good hour or so. About halfway through my brain caught on to a concept I'd been working over two hours on total that Blaine hadn't gone over with me.

When Blaine was finished his homework, I was working on a page of questions for the concept I had taught myself.

"Need any help?" he asked, looking to the top of the handout.

I shook my head. "I get this concept now."

He looked over at what I was doing and changed sides. He stood close behind me, with his chest pressing against my back. I could feel myself tense up nervously and my heart start to pound

"I'm afraid to say you don't quite get it," Blaine said, his breath ghosting on my ear.

"Oh," I said, not bothering to hide my disappointment.

"You have the basics down," he said, "but there are a few exceptions to those. The ones that are normal examples of the problem you got right," he said, pointing to the first few questions. "But the ones that are exceptions to the rule are incorrect."

He then began to explain the exceptions as I listened intently. I eventually redid the problems after he finished his explanation, getting them all correct.

"Good," he said as he went over my work. "You got them right. What you did by yourself was really good," he added.

"Thanks," I mumbled.

"So I'm going to go up to my dorm," he said as he closed up his books. "Do you want to join me?"

"Um," I began.

"Just as I walk to my dorm. It's too late and I'm too tired to suggest you come and hang out with me for a little while," he added.

"Oh, sure," I mumbled as I packed up my books.

"So, how was practice?" I asked as we left the library.

"It was good," said Blaine. "Long and grueling, but good."

"Are you going to have one like that tomorrow?"

"Probably not," he said. "I assume we'll go over the songs a little bit, but I think we'll have a break. Probably have a movie marathon as 'bonding for the big event'. Wes wouldn't want us to lose our voices for the competition anyways."

I nodded in understanding. Rachel never let us sang the day before either, even though Mr. Schue tried to get us to.

"So have you thought at all about coming yet or are you still undecided?" he asked curiously.

"Some friends are taking me out," I said. "Sorry."

Blaine shrugged. "It's fine. I just would've liked you there."

I felt guilty but what could I do? Mercedes had already decided what I was doing, and I knew her better than Blaine. "Sorry," I said again.

"It's fine," Blaine repeated, though his body posture suggested otherwise. "Well, this is my dorm," he said, stopping at a door.

"Oh, right," I said, stopping as well.

"Well, goodnight!" he said.

"Goodnight," I replied before turning and walking towards my dorm. I sat up reading for a little while until I drifted to sleep.

* * *

><p>I was woken up by another nightmare. I figured the ringing noises I heard were the bell that was ringing.<p>

_Shit_, I thought, realizing it wasn't my alarm clock, but the warning bell that was going off.

I jumped out of bed and threw on my uniform, not even bothering to make my hair look presentable. My shoes were untied as I raced towards my history class carrying a few notebooks for unknown classes and the history textbook.

I walked in seconds after the bell rang which got me a fierce glare from Mr. Turner. "Late, Mr. Hummel," he said. "See me after class."

I sighed but nodded as I slipped into my seat. Jeff and Nick sent me sympathetic glances as I checked my notebooks. I had all of them _except _the one for history. Since I had no other option, I ripped a page from my Literature notebook and began to copy the notes on that. I could tell Mr. Turner was angry at me and I was terrified of what he would do after class. I didn't have the due assignments either. This really wasn't shaping up to be a good day.

As soon as the bell rang I gathered my books and walked up to Mr. Turner.

"I'm really sor-"

"Why were you late?" he snapped.

"I slept in sir-"

"You don't have an alarm clock?" he asked, raising an eyebrow to make the glare he was giving me rival my 'bitch please' look.

"I must not have heard it sir," I said. I knew he wouldn't let me say anything but the answers to his questions.

"Well that's your own fault," he snapped. "I don't tolerate lateness to my class. Or shabbiness."

I cringed, knowing the fact that I didn't brush my teeth, or fix my hair, or make my uniform look pristine was not helping my situation. "Sir, I got ready as fast as I could so I wouldn't be late."

"Obviously not fast enough," he growled. "I will see you here after school. You have a two hour detention for being late and I expect a one thousand word essay on being late at that time. Leave now."

I sighed. "Yes sir." I left the class and rushed to Literature where Blaine was sitting doodling something on a notebook.

I sat down heavily and took out my books, realizing my copy of The Hunger Games was in my dorm. "Shit," I muttered.

Blaine looked at me curiously. "You okay?"

"Fantastic," I muttered sarcastically.

"What happened?" Blaine asked, looking at me in concern.

"I didn't hear my alarm so I showed up to Mr. Turner's class a few seconds late. Because of that I have a two hour detention after school and an essay due at the beginning of detention on lateness."

Blaine winced. "That sucks."

"Can we share books today?" I asked carefully.

"Of course," said Blaine, moving his so the spine was in the crease of our desks.

"Thanks," I mumbled.

When class started, a few people gave me strange looks but no one said anything which I found strange. At McKinley people would immediately pounce and start harassment on my less-than-pristine appearance. I assumed that'd come later though. Mr. Adams noticed we were sharing books, but didn't mention a single thing about it which I was thankful for. He probably figured out the reason for it.

"So I assume you won't be able to eat lunch with me?" Blaine asked.

I shook my head. "I need to do the essay. It's a thousand words so it needs to get done in the time I have."

Blaine winced. "That sucks."

"Yeah," I agreed. "I have to go," I said, before heading off in the direction of Home Economics.

As soon as the bell signalling the start of lunch rang, I was rushing to the library. I couldn't afford to waste any time because the lunch hour was the only hour I was going to get to work on it. As hungry as I was, I couldn't afford to risk what Mr. Turner would do if I didn't hand the essay in.

I had about three quarters of it written when nothing came to mind, I had discussed everything I wanted to say and I had literally no idea what to add. _I really can't have writer's block right now_, I thought to myself.

"You okay?" Blaine asked beside me.

I jumped and turned. "Writer's block."

Blaine quickly skimmed over the page in front of me. "Just put a load of bullshit about how great of a teacher Mr. Turner is and how he shouldn't have to deal with that."

I raised a questioning eyebrow.

"Wes and David have been late a few times. That's usually their entire essay," Blaine explained.

I stared at him for a few short moments but did as he suggested. I found it was easy spewing out the two hundred words of major bull. When I finished, there was only about five minutes left before the bell rang. Even though my stomach was growling, I didn't have time to get something to eat.

"Hungry?" Blaine asked.

I nodded and printed off the essay. When I turned took my things from beside the computer, Blaine was holding out a wrap. I stared at it. That was low, and completely torturous.

"It's for you," Blaine said, holding it out in my direction. "I figured you'd be hungry."

I looked at him in surprise but took it. "Thank you."

"It's no problem," he said, watching as I unwrapped the plastic around.

I took a bite as I walked towards French, Blaine walking right beside me. The warning bell rang just as I took my last bite. Blaine smiled and turned into a different classroom than mine.

I found, even though I was still hungry, that it was easier to concentrate with food in my stomach.

* * *

><p>We were given a period in the library to work on our projects. We were all using the computers to research things about our section of pop culture. I wrote my write-up at the same time. It was very quick and not at all organized, but it wouldn't take too long to make it into something presentable.<p>

Blaine seemed down that he couldn't perform whatever number he wanted to.

"You can perform it on Monday," I said as the last few minutes of the class ticked by.

"Yes, but it's ready _today_," he whined.

"And it'll still be ready Monday."

Blaine sighed unhappily. "I guess."

"Maybe it's better you don't perform it with Sectionals tomorrow," I said.

"I guess. I just want Sectionals to be over, honestly. It's so much work preparing everything and perfecting it all," he said.

"Well, you have nothing to do on Sunday," I commented to Blaine. "You can relax then."

Blaine laughed. "I wouldn't say nothing. I have a soccer game right after football practice. And after that I need to go to fencing."

I froze. He was a jock. He was a _freaking jock_. He was just like Braden. Why would he be talking to me otherwise?

* * *

><p><strong>They were getting too close. It didn't work with my plans. I might start with a flashback next chapter...<br>**

**Ok so exams are coming up so I may not post anything until they're done. So apologies for that, but I need to keep my marks up. **

**I am considering changing my pen name to something else. I don't know if I will, but I'd like to get your opinion on that. I have a few ideas, but I don't know if I will or not.**

**I've gotten a few ideas for new fics. One is a prompt-fic of what the next Glee Live skit will be. I have an idea for one. **

**The second is... Well. I've written two scenes. I kinda wanted Kurt's mom to randomly be alive, because wouldn't that be happy? So I was thinking about it and I didn't think holding a grudge made much sense. So my mind came up with one idea, and two scenes. Why is Kurt's mom alive? She was kidnapped and the people who took her have also kidnapped Blaine. ISN'T THAT HAPPY? I entitled the document 'Angsty Angst'.**

**I also want to write an Eragon fic because I didn't like the lack of romance in the end. My mom said the reason for that was that it was written by a male. :P**


	7. Chapter 7

**I want to give a SERIOUS apology for how long this took. I finished exams a week ago and immediately got to writing this but for some reason I really struggled with it. There were tons of parts I skipped so I could get further into the chapter before I went back to finish them. If it's jumpy, it's likely a spot I skipped and I really apologize for that.**

**Thank you to everyone who is reviewing, favoriting, etc. And to the many new readers, welcome! I make my promise to update more frequently, and I will try as hard as I can to write everyday so the chapters churn out faster.**

**Enjoy!  
><strong>

**I own nothing.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 7<strong>

_I was standing at my locker fixing my hair after another slushy incident when I heard someone cough behind me. I was hoping it'd be someone in glee – anyone really, as long as they weren't my tormentors. I turned to find myself face to face with someone who I'd never seen before. If I HAD seen him, I most definitely wouldn't have forgotten. _He must be new, _I thought to myself. _

_He was also completely gorgeous. His looks rivaled those of a god, not that I believed in God, of course. He had golden blond hair that fell in waves over his forehead as it reflected the fluorescent light in the school hall. His powerful build was easily distinguished beneath the tight v-neck he wore. His electric blue eyes were staring down straight into my own. _

"_H-Hi," I stuttered. "C-Can I help you?" _What's wrong with you? It's just a guy! A gorgeous, dreamy, swoon-worthy guy... But still a guy! Put yourself together, _I told myself._

"_I'm new here, and I was wondering if you could show me to Mrs. Travis' biology class in room 103," he said in a smooth, silky voice that sent shivers up my spine._

"_R-Right. Yeah. I can do that," I said nervously. "I'm going down that way anyways. Room 103 is right next to my class."_

"_Great," said the handsome stranger, flashing me a quick grin that looked like it belonged in a toothpaste commercial. "I'm Braden," he added, holding out his hand for me to shake._

"_Kurt," I said slipping my hand into his. "Kurt Hummel."_

"_I definitely won't be forgetting that," he said, and he lifted my hand and kissed it softly, his eyes sparkling. _

_I blushed bright red. "Um, i-it's just this way," I said, closing my locker. I walked down the hall towards my class with my heart beating a mile a minute, Braden right by my side._

* * *

><p>I hadn't realized I had frozen in my seta until the bell blared signalling the end of class. I got up, took my things and all but ran from Blaine.<p>

Why was I so surprised he was a jock? Was there really another reason why he wanted to talk to me? There was no way anyone would keep trying to talk to me after I kept pushing him away unless there was something in it for him. There was no way someone would be that nice to me in general. I wasn't going to fall for that trick again.

I could hear him calling after me, but I kept walking – more like half-running – to my next class.

Blaine Anderson could take his food and his physics lessons and give them to someone else. I certainly wasn't going to be taking anything from him. I wouldn't allow him to make me grow more attached than I already had.

* * *

><p>I was able to call my dad to let him know about the detention as I walked to Mr. Turner's room. I could tell he knew something was wrong, but he didn't ask. I certainly didn't offer.<p>

When I got there Mr. Turner glared at me. I handed him the essay without a word and sat down at my usual desk. I sat quietly, staring at the surface of the desk, for what felt like hours, but was in reality only about ten minutes.

I just couldn't believe I almost fell for Blaine's trick. It hurt. The only thing I could do about it though was ignore him.

"Usually by now students are trying to get me to let them leave early Mr. Hummel," Mr. Turner said from his desk, looking up at me over the edge of the book he was reading.

I shrugged. "You gave me a two hour detention. Not a half hour one," I said, taking a quick look at the clock.

The teacher shrugged. "That may be, but it doesn't make me any less surprised."

We fell into a silence again. I started memorizing the large map that hung on the wall. I figured I should learn where all the countries in Africa were. It was during this time that Mr. Turner got up from his desk and walked towards me, sitting in the desk where Nick usually sat.

"Are you okay?" he asked me.

When I glanced up I noticed his usually angry eyes filled with concern. "I'm fine," I lied.

"You just seem... down about something," he said carefully.

"Why would I be?" I asked.

"I don't know, you tell me."

I bit my lip. "I'm fine," I repeated.

"You don't look it," he said simply.

"I – It's nothing I can't handle."

He looked at me with a strange expression on his face. "So there is something wrong," he said.

"I'm fine."

"Just because you're fine doesn't mean something isn't going on. 'I'm fine' is just a phrase used to avoid a question."

I considered my answer carefully before speaking it aloud. "'I'm fine' can also mean that I truly am fine."

"I don't deny that, but I don't think that that's the case here."

"It may or it may not be. It really doesn't matter."

"I think it does."

"There's nothing you can do either way."

Mr. Turner studied me carefully. "You know, ever since you've talked to that Blaine kid, you've seemed to be getting better. More open. I assume whatever's going on has something with him."

I didn't allow myself to change expressions as he spoke. But my silence was as much as a confirmation as if I yelled it from the roof.

"What did he do?"

"Nothing."

"Oh really?" Mr. Turner asked, raising an eyebrow. "If he did something, I'd let the principal right away. He may be a good enough student but his happiness bothers me."

"He didn't do anything to me," I said. _Not yet anyways. _And he wouldn't, because I wouldn't let him.

"Okay then," Mr. Turner said after staring at me a long while. He got up from the chair in front of me and walked towards his desk. "Well, I need to get going, and I'm sure you'd like to leave as well."

I took a quick glance at the clock. I had only been here half of my required time. "When would you like me to come back to finish the time?"

Mr. Turner waved me off as he shuffled papers around his desk. "You don't need to come back, but if anyone asks, you were here three hours."

I stared at him for a few seconds, before I gave a quick nod. "Yes sir," I said. Not looking back, I left the classroom and headed to my dorm to pack my weekend bag.

As soon as I was sure I had everything I needed, I left my room with my bag slung over my shoulder. I locked my door and left the building without looking back.

Once I was in the safety of my car, I could feel my eyes begin to water. I wouldn't allow myself to cry over Blaine, so I pushed them back and drove, doing best as possible to ignore the hurt and betrayal I felt.

I also ignored the part of me that said maybe Blaine wasn't one of the stereotypical jocks.

* * *

><p>I walked through the door and set down my bag. When I pulled into the driveway, I had noticed my dad sitting in front of the TV. He was probably watching the Buckeyes game I heard Nick and Jeff mumble about in History.<p>

"Hi Dad," I said quietly as I walked into the living room.

My dad jumped from his seat on the couch, nearly spilling the beer he had in his hands, and turned around. "Kurt! Good to see you kiddo!" He set the beer down on the side table and got up to give me a hug.

I walked into his arms and closed my eyes as they wrapped around me.

"How was your week?" he asked.

"It was fine," I mumbled, before sitting next to him.

"I thought you weren't going to be home until much later. I thought you had a detention?"

"I did, but the teacher let me go after an hour," I said, as I turned my eyes to the game. New Kurt would watch football, I decided then.

"So he made you stay because you were late?" my dad asked. From the corner of my eye I could see him giving me a concerned glance at the attention I was giving the game.

"Only by a few seconds. I didn't mean to be late," I said.

"I'm sure you didn't, but it happens to everyone," said my dad. He stared at me for a few seconds. "Are you okay? You seem...off," he said carefully.

"I'm fine," I said.

"Did something happen at school? Kurt, if someone is bothering you then you better let the office know. Or let _me _know so I can tell them."

"No one's done anything to me."

"Kurt-"

"Dad, I'm fine okay?" I said with the most force I had used since before that night. "You're distracting me from the game."

"Okay," my dad sighed.

After a couple minutes of silence, I spoke up again. "How have the buckeyes been doing so far?" I noticed Old Kurt had been right about this game being pointl – Old Kurt didn't know what he was missing. This game was...off the hook.

"The offense has been playing like crap, but the defense are holding the other team off well enough," explained my dad.

"That's alright then," I said hesitantly.

"They can play better – NO YOU IDIOTS!" he exclaimed causing me to recoil violently as the other team scored a goal. "Oh, god, Kurt, I'm sorry, are you okay?" my dad said as he turned to look at me with worried eyes.

I wasn't sure if he'd be able to distinguish a nod between my shaking, but I nodded anyways. "I'm f-fine."

"Kurt I'm sor-"

"Dad I'm fine," I said, barely hiding the tremble in my voice. "Where are Finn and Carole?"

"Whether you believe it or not, Finn had _another _growth spurt so they're out shopping. We were planning on all meeting at Breadsticks later for supper since you were going to be home late," my dad explained, giving me an apologetic look.

Being as it was a Friday night, I was sure there would be a group of jocks sitting at a table. I just hoped they wouldn't bother us. "O-Okay," I said.

"Why don't you go get changed? We need to meet them in about an hour," my dad suggested.

"Sure," I said, taking one last glance at the game before I went into my room.

It was still the same since before the incident. The different shades of white and gray were accented slightly by the cream floor rug and the musical posters on his wall. I hadn't yet gotten around to taking those down. I would probably do so this weekend, not that there was a real need to since I didn't have any plans to have people over. But it

Would still be nice to take them down just in case.

I put on a random shirt and some loose jeans. I was a little bit chilly so I put on an orange hoodie. I really didn't what I wore. I may look like a fashion disaster, but Finn did too, and he was never assumed gay.

* * *

><p>I sat down at the table the hostess led us to. My dad was just calling Finn, who picked up for Carole, to let them know where we were. I took out my phone to check for any messages I may have missed as I drove home. There were five.<p>

_Hey, Wes is giving us the night off to rest our voices. Do you want to spend some time on Physics after your detention? – Blaine_

_How was detention? – Blaine _

_Are you going back to Lima this weekend? – Blaine_

_David just walked into a wall... I don't even want to know how. – Blaine_

_I assume you've left and are driving home. Drive safely and have fun :) Wish the Warblers luck and I'll see you on Monday! – Blaine_

I sighed and put my phone on the table, deleting all the messages just as Finn and Carole entered the restaurant. Right after catching my eye, they smiled widely and rushed towards us.

"Kurt! It's so good to see you sweetheart!" exclaimed Carole, pulling me into a quick hug.

"Hi Carole, Finn," I said unsmiling.

"Hey dude," said Finn, giving me the type of hug he gave Puck. He'd gotten noticeably taller. I hoped it was his last growth spurt. If he grew any taller, he might need to live outside. Either that or have a permanent slouch.

They sat down, Finn next to me, Carole next to my dad.

"How was your week?" I asked, before anyone could ask about my own.

"It was fine," said Carole. "The sweetest little boy came in with his parents today. His grandfather is just healing from a successful surgery. He was absolutely adorable and asked so many questions! It reminded me of the first time I took you to work Finn," she added.

"He needed stitches after playing with a syringe too?" Finn asked, his eyebrows furrowing.

Carole sighed. "No honey, just the way he kept asking what things were. And it was a scalpel you cut yourself with, not a syringe."

"Oh..." said Finn slowly.

"What about yours dad?" I asked.

"It was pretty busy," he said. "A lot of people have come in for repairs. Maybe you could help me with some of them if you have time this weekend."

"Yeah, sure," I agreed nonchalantly.

"Remember we have Sectionals tomorrow," said Finn, whose eyes were scanning the menu carefully while he nibbled on a breadstick.

"I know Finn."

"Cool. I just didn't want you to forget. I forgot yesterday when I asked Rachel if she wanted to go to the zoo Saturday afternoon," Finn said.

"I'm sure she wasn't very pleased about that," said Carole, raising an eyebrow.

"She kind of stormed off. But then I told her I meant next weekend," Finn explained. "But really I didn't, but don't tell her that."

I watched as my dad rolled his eyes fondly. He set his menu down and looked down at my phone which has started buzzing.

_Kurt are you alright? You haven't been replying at all since 5__th__ – Blaine_

I ignored the text and looked up to see my dad give me a worried look.

"Aren't you going to text back?" he asked.

I shrugged, not saying a word. I didn't want to worry my dad and cause him to have another heart attack.

"Why, what did the text say?" Carole asked.

"It doesn't-" I began to say just as Finn reached over and swiped my phone from beside me. "Finn. Give it back."

"A guy named Blaine asked if he was okay and said Kurt hadn't texted him back since 5th," Finn said, staring at my phone.

"Blaine? Your friend from Dalton? Why don't you text back?" Carole asked me.

"He's not my friend."

"Did this kid do something because I swear-"

"Dad, he hasn't done anything. And he won't because I'm avoiding risking the chances."

"Kurt-"

"It doesn't matter dad, can we please drop it? And can I please have my phone back?" I cut in.

"Nope," said Finn simply. From my viewpoint, he unlocked my phone and began texting something.

"_Finn_."

"Nope."

"Give it-"

"Finn, give Kurt his phone back please," said Carole, giving him a stern look.

"Fine," said Finn, giving me back the device.

I immediately checked my messages and noticed that he had sent a few which Blaine replied to.

_Yeah, sorry man, I'm okay. I forgot my phone in the car – Kurt_

_Oh, that's okay! – Blaine_

_So what's up dude? – Kurt_

_Um... Kurt? Are you sure you're okay? You don't sound like... you – Blaine_

I glared at Finn and put my phone in my pocket. "Can we please change the subject?"

"Of course, why don't we talk about this later?" suggested Carole. "So Kurt, have you read the new Vogue issue yet?"

"I don't read Vogue," I said. I didn't, not anymore at least.

I could see my dad bite his lip. "And how about your school work?"

"It's fine."

"How's physics going? I know that's not your strongest subject."

I shrugged. "It's been okay, but it'll probably get worse." _It'll get worse because there is no way I'm spending more time with Blaine._

* * *

><p>We arrived at the Shuster Performing Arts Center in Dayton, where Sectionals was being held, with plenty of time to spare. Finn and the rest of New Directions had taken their own bus, which had left about an hour and a half before we did, so it was just my dad, Carole and I in the car. It wasn't the most relaxed journey, to say the least.<p>

I wasn't sure why the car was so tense, but it was. Maybe it was because both adults knew that I should have been onstage. Or maybe it was because the radio was broken and Carole was the only one keeping up a conversation. I wasn't sure why, but it wasn't giving me good feelings about what would happen when we arrived.

I walked into the building, my eyes scanning the room at a lightning speed for anything – or anyone – I should be worried about. I didn't see anyone I knew, which made me feel a little bit safer, but at the same time more fearful. I didn't bother reading the sign listing the teams competing; I figured I could find out later. It's not like it mattered who the New Directions were competing against.

I followed Carole and my dad into the theatre. Though this one was larger, I preferred the one at Dalton. The one at school had a less formal feeling to it. Our seats were right behind where the glee clubs would be seated. I assumed the only reason we got such good seats was because Finn was in one of the competing choirs. I was glad I'd be able to see well though.

I felt my phone buzz, making me remember my promise to text Rachel when we arrived. I quickly ignored the text from Blaine – even though I really wanted to wish him luck for his own competition – and sent a text to Rachel letting her know I had arrived. She immediately responded and I got up to go meet her.

I watched as she was yelling at someone behind the counter for some sort of candy.

"Hungry?" I asked. Old Kurt would have generally said something about carb loading, but I wasn't Old Kurt.

Rachel turned to me and rolled her eyes. "No. Lauren Zises is your replacement and she won't go onstage without her damn candy. So... how are you?"

I shrugged. "I'm fine."

She stared at me for far too long for my comfort before sighing. "I don't believe you but I'll accept your answer until I have more time to talk to you."

I shifted uncomfortably. "So are you nervous?"

Rachel huffed. "Please. I'm not nervous. I can't say the same for everyone else though. They wouldn't be throwing up in toilets if I had a solo because then there wouldn't be the _possibility_of losing. But I suppose I should experience what everyone else feels as they sing back-up for me so I can better relate to them. And so I can hear everyone better so I can critique them more knowledgably."

"Right," I said uncertainly, because really – what could I say to that?

"But I do hope you'll enjoy the performance, even though our lead vocals will be less than satisfactory," Rachel said.

"I'm sure it'll be great."

"So. Tell me. How's Dalton? How's your man?"

"My man?" I asked, looking at her incredulously while my eyes darted around the room.

"You know, that guy! Blaine was his name I think?"

"Oh. Him," I sighed.

Rachel was immediately at my side giving me a hug that only lasted until she remembered I didn't like being touched anymore. "What happened?"

"It doesn't matter. I-"

"Kurt!" I heard a voice behind me exclaim. It was a voice I most certainly did _not _want to hear.

I felt myself freeze up. Why in the world was Blaine here? Shouldn't he be competing at Sectionals? Unless – Oh god New Directions were competing against the Warblers. That's why both were competing the same day. _How on Earth hadn't I figured that out? And how on Earth was I going to get away?_

"What are you doing here? I thought you were with friends!" said Blaine with a wide smile as he walked into my line of vision. He honestly looked like he wanted to attack me in a bear hug. "I'm so glad you could make it!"

Rachel was looking between the two of us with an excited look on her face.

Blaine was looking like Christmas came early.

I felt as if everyone was crowding in around me.

I couldn't handle it, so what better thing to do than run?

I went back to my seat as quickly as possible, now cursing the fact that we were sitting immediately behind the show choirs. As soon as the Warblers sat down I would be in plain sight, and with my luck, they'd be in the row directly in front of us.

I felt my phone vibrate twice so I took it out.

_Come back here this instance Kurt! A handsome boy is looking longingly after you! – Rachel_

_Kurt, where'd you go? I wanted to talk :( – Blaine_

I ignored both. From the corner of my eye I could see Carole and Burt look at me worriedly. I didn't think they would let me go back to the car, so I ignored their nervous glances and stared straight ahead. They hadn't expected me back until just before the competition started, so I wasn't surprised they were worried when I quickly rushed in ten minutes beforehand.

I sat quietly until the warning bell chimed to signal that the show was about to begin. I sat up straight and glanced around nervously as more people filtered in.

New Directions were two rows ahead of us. They all waved at me in greeting. I tried unsuccessfully to give them a smile. They grinned – or in Mr. Schue's case nodded – at the thumbs up I gave and turned around.

From the corner of my eye, I could see a group of boys in blazers walking down the aisle. I mentally crossed my fingers and begged that they walk past but, of course, they started to file in the row in front of us.

I could see Blaine near the center of the group. He glanced around the audience. I looked down and opened a game on my phone to try and hide myself but being as I wasn't very lucky today, he saw me anyways. He gave a wave that I pretended not to notice as I was too 'distracted' by my game. Carole noticed though, and she gave me a nudge.

"That boy is waving at you. That's Blaine, right?"

I glanced up and met his eye. "Yeah, that's him." I gave a jerky nod and he beamed.

"Maybe he can sit in front of us and we can chat!" said Carole happily.

_I really hope not_, I thought to myself. "Maybe."

Unfortunately for Carole – and Blaine – he was a couple seats down from us. He gave a wave and turned to Wes, who whispered something in his ear after giving me a quick nod.

A few minutes later, the Hipsters began to perform. They weren't the most exciting group, but I suppose their age would make the audience – aside from me – find them absolutely wonderful.

I clapped politely for the Hipsters when they were finished their performance. They were good, I'll admit, but they definitely wouldn't be winning. The moment the curtain went down, the polite applause ended. There was a fifteen minute break between each group's performance so the next show choir could prepare.

Blaine stood up and began to shuffle in my direction. He gave me a smile and tried to get by one of the other Warblers who were making things purposely difficult for him. He held up a single finger to tell me to wait.

"I have to go to the bathroom," I mumbled to Carole before I got up and crept by the people who were still seated in my row. I didn't turn to see Blaine's hurt expression, or the way his shoulders drooped down in disappointment.

I waited for about ten minutes in a bathroom stall before deciding there wouldn't be enough time for Blaine to talk to me. As I headed back to the auditorium, the Warblers were leaving to head backstage. Blaine caught my eye and gave me a hesitant smile. I stared back for a few long seconds before glancing away, my features unchanging the entire exchange.

The announcer walked back on stage just a few minutes after I sat down to inform the audience that the next group performing would be the Dalton Warblers. I shrunk down slightly in my seat, as if it would hide me from the performers, but being as I was centered behind an empty row, my attempt was so obviously in vain.

The curtain rose to show a group of blazer-clad boys in perfectly aligned rows. I noticed Blaine was standing in the front. I watched as he gave the audience a quick scan until his eyes rested on me. The lights dimmed and the music began.

I quickly recognized _Hey Soul Sister_. Blaine seemed to thrive in the spotlight. He was energetic as he bounced around the stage, getting the entire audience into their number. I myself was surprised of how good of a performer and singer he was. The rest of the group's choreography was simple, yet completely effective. I didn't clap to the beat with the rest of the audience, I merely watched with an impassive face, even though I was forcibly containing myself not to clap along.

I didn't recognize the next number. But a good portion of the audience did. Blaine was much more subdued in his actions, but still gave the same amount of energy.

_If you ever find yourself stuck in the middle of the sea,  
>I'll sail the world to find you<br>If you ever find yourself lost in the dark and you can't see,  
>I'll be the light to guide you<em>

_Find out what we're made of_  
><em>When we are called to help our friends in need<em>

_You can count on me like 1 2 3_  
><em>I'll be there<em>  
><em>And I know when I need it I can count on you like 4 3 2<em>  
><em>And you'll be there<em>  
><em>Cause that's what friends are supposed to do, oh yeah<em>

_Wooooh, Wooooh_  
><em>yeah Yeah<em>

_If you toss and you turn and you just can't fall asleep_  
><em>I'll sing a song<em>  
><em>beside you<em>  
><em>And if you ever forget how much you really mean to me<em>  
><em>Everyday I will<em>  
><em>remind you<em>

_Ohh_  
><em>Find out what we're made of<em>  
><em>When we are called to help our friends in need<em>

_You can count on me like 1 2 3_  
><em>I'll be there<em>  
><em>And I know when I need it I can count on you like 4 3 2<em>  
><em>You'll be there<em>  
><em>Cause that's what friends are supposed to do, oh yeah<em>

_Wooooh, Wooooh_  
><em>Yeah Yeah<em>

_You'll always have my shoulder when you cry_  
><em>I'll never let go<em>  
><em>Never say goodbye<em>

_You can count on me like 1 2 3_  
><em>I'll be there<em>  
><em>And I know when I need it I can count on you like 4 3 2<em>  
><em>You'll be there<em>  
><em>Cause that's what friends are supposed to do, oh yeah<em>

_Wooooh, Wooooh_  
><em>you can count on me cos' I can count on you<em>

The audience completely loved it. I, on the other hand, didn't. I didn't miss the way Blaine's gaze pierced me throughout the song. The song that was something I longed for a lover to sing to me during struggles. The song that was so hopeful and sweet and was perfect for my situation. I wanted to curl up and cry because he so obviously knew this was my first time being serenaded and he so obviously knew these were the words I needed someone to tell me and he was so obviously using that so he could get close to me before... I blinked away the tears because there was _no way_ I would cry for Blaine Anderson. That was what he wanted. I wouldn't fall for his song, or his voice. I wouldn't.

The next song was _Teenage Dream_, another which Blaine sang almost directly to me. Halfway through the song I looked down at my hands. I didn't want to watch someone sing to me. I didn't listen either, but I figured it'd be rude to the people around me if I stood in front of them. So I sat through it.

I didn't applaud when the Warblers were done. At least not until Carole nudged me. Even then I only clapped a two pitiful times.

When the fifteen minute break came on, New Directions got up and rushed backstage. I noticed a number of members looking nervous, but others looking completely calm.

Carole nudged me and looked at me with concerned eyes. "What's wrong? It's almost like you're avoiding Blaine," she said to me quietly. I could see my dad's ears perk up and he turned to me as well.

"Nothing," I lied.

"Then why did you get up and go to the bathroom when it was so obvious Blaine wanted to talk to you?" Carole asked. "And you didn't seem very enthusiastic about the performance either. They were a lovely group!"

"Maybe because I am avoiding him."

"Why would that be?" Burt asked, looking like he was ready to storm off and beat someone.

"Because he's just like Braden okay?" I snapped. I took out my phone and put in some headphones to drown out the voices. AC/DC may not have been my preferred – AC/DC was one of my favorite bands so it was perfect for the occasion. I closed my eyes and allowed the music to wash over me.

I eventually opened my eyes and turned off the music when Carole nudged me to let me know that the New Directions were starting. I didn't look in front of me to see Blaine give me a longing look before he turned around to watch.

The music began and the curtain rose. While most of the audience was confused about the lack of personnel on stage, I immediately knew, like the past two competitions, they were coming out of the back of the auditorium. _Mr. Schuester really needs new a new plan, this is getting old_, I thought.

I turned around just as Sam walked out of the right back door singing a very familiar tune. I had to admit, his voice sounded amazing in _I've Had The Time of My Life_.Quinn suddenly walked out the left door singing the next part. I was surprised at just how well Ken and Barbie's voices fit together. I didn't want to admit it, but I found their vocals were a little bit weak compared to Blaine's, but I suppose their adorable blond-ness would put them in the judges' favour.

They eventually reached the stage where Quinn and Sam began to twirl around each other as the rest of the New Directions came out from the sides. I found it was a great number overall, and I clapped quietly along with the rest of the audience when it was finished.

They quickly changed places with ease as a new song started, this one with a more energetic beat. Santana turned around and began to sing. I was always surprised when she sang, as I never heard her often enough. She sounded fantastic, and _Valerie _was a perfect fit for her smoky voice. Combined with Mike and Brittney's phenomenal dancing, it was definitely the number that stole the show. I clapped much louder when it finished.

Then _Dog Days Are Over _began. I was pleased to see Tina getting a chance to shine. _I thought Mercedes said she didn't have a number_, I thought as Mercedes took the next solo. I contentedly watched as the two girls sang, admiring the backing vocals as I did so.

I stood up and clapped with the rest of the spectators when the New Directions finished their set. The lights went on and there would be a half hour break while the judges decided the places.

"I'm going to go congratulate them," I mumbled to Carole. I knew without looking that Blaine had turned around and was going to try and talk to me. I left my seat and headed in the direction I thought backstage was. I had reached the backstage area, but someone from security was blocking my way. Instead of taking a chance by passing his threatening build, I sent a quick text to Mercedes to ask her if she could let me backstage.

A few minutes later, she was behind the guard and gesturing me to go over to her. I hesitated for a few seconds before taking tentative steps towards her. The guard stood tall in front of me and glared down at me making me feel extremely vulnerable.

"Kurt! I'm so happy you could make it!" she exclaimed. The guard turned to her in surprise, but moved so I could pass.

"You were great," I said truthfully. "Since when did you have a solo?"

"Since yesterday," she said with a shrug. "Mr. Schue forgot about the third number until second period so he got us all out of class so we could rehearse it."

"You sounded great."

"Thanks! Now come on white boy, everyone will be super happy to see you!" she said, gesturing me to follow her.

The hallway's layout, I found, was much simpler than the one from the year before. I followed her closely until we reached a door with a small sign which read '_New Directions – William McKinley High School – Lima, OH'_.

Mercedes opened the door to show me all of New Directions congratulating each other. I shrunk slightly in my spot at the loud, happy commotion but didn't run like I wanted to.

"Look who showed up to give us some support!" Mercedes called.

I got a variety of greetings from various members of the club. I congratulated everyone and chatted for about fifteen minutes before it was time for them to get ready to go onstage so the places could be given.

"I'll take you out," said Mercedes.

"It's okay, I know the way," I said.

She nodded and gave me a quick almost-hug and whispered in my ear, "We need to talk after this. We're going to my place for a barbeque so we'll talk there."

When she let go, I nodded and left the room. As I walked down the hall, I pulled out my phone to text Carole so she'd know I was returning, not even noticing I passed Blaine on my way towards my seat.

If I had noticed, I would have seen him looking like he wanted to stop me so we could talk. But he didn't. I would have seen an upset look, though not as bad as the ones before, when I walked by without noticing him.

I got back to my seat and less than five minutes later, the curtain rose and the three groups all stood on stage, anticipating the results.

The Hipsters were placed third. No surprise there. They took the trophy way happier than expected for losing the competition. They probably expected it.

The New Directions and the Warblers shuffled closer together, everyone nervously awaiting the announcement of the winner.

And surprisingly, it was both.

* * *

><p>"What is it?" I asked. About an hour into the barbeque, Mercedes had pulled me from the group and led me upstairs to her room.<p>

"Rachel said you completely walked away from a super hot guy who seemed extremely happy to see you and then later told me said hottie was the soloist for Dalton. Explain?" Mercedes ordered.

"That was Blaine," I muttered.

"Are you _serious?_ Kurt he is _damn fine_ and one hell of a performer!" Mercedes exclaimed. "You better be getting with that!"

"No."

"_Kurt-_"

"Mercedes I'm not."

"Why then?" she asked, putting her hands on her hips.

"He's a jock playing football, fencing and soccer," I said, my voice cracking slightly. "Tell me, who does that remind you of?"

Mercedes' voice softened in understanding. "Kurt, just because he plays the same sports as him, it doesn't mean they're the same person."

"I can't Mercedes! I just – I can't. I don't want to end up the same way as last time."

"You won't-"

"What if he told Blaine to do the same thing at a fencing match or something? There aren't many fencers in Ohio, I'm sure they've come across each other! I can't risk it! The first time was more than I could take! And the thing is, I was actually beginning to trust him but I _can't _now because why else would he be talking to me unless it was to make me end up..." I let out a strange sort of sob. "And the betrayal _hurts _because he seemed like such a good person b-bu..."

Then suddenly, the tears started to overflow. It was the first time I'd let tears out while I was awake since that night. All the other times I cried were while I was asleep and trapped in a nightmare. As much as I wanted to push them back, it was like a dam had burst and I just _couldn't_.

I was pulled into Mercedes arms and I just cried while she rubbed my back and made soothing noises. "It'll be okay Kurt, it'll be okay," she whispered.

* * *

><p><strong><strong>So ANGSTY!<strong>**

**I don't know where Mr. Turner came from, but it happened, and it made me lose the block for a short period of time so I went with it. He reminds me of Sue Sylvester now...**

**Poor poor Blainers. He just doens't understand does he? Poor Kurtie, who really doesn't understand. The flashback didn't give much away, but whatever. There is a reason for what Kurt is doing, really there is. It's written down in my plot which says... Nope. Not gonna spill :P**

**What did you guys think of the MJ episode? My comments: DKFE;MCSPOFMEOWFPALSQW[C,V RVNREW[SDALCXMQEWOPCNIRWEFINPOWCDM I think it was one of - if not the - favorite. Like just... sfa;oewfnofojiw I'd say more but I don't want to spoil it. **

**If someone proposed in high school, would you say yes or no? Personally, I'd go for no. But I want to hear your opinions!  
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* * *

><p><strong>Songs usedmentioned were: **

**Hey Soul Sister** **- Train**

**Count On Me - Bruno Mars**

**Teenage Dream - Katy Perry**

**(I've Had) ****The Time of My Life ****- Glee Cast Version (The original is in the movie Dirty Dancing)**

**Valerie - Glee Cast Version (Original by Amy Winehouse)**

**Dog Days Are Over - Glee Cast Version (Original by Florence + The Machine)**


	8. Chapter 8

**INSANE week this week before the break which was why this took so long. Oh well. I'm going to Disney Monday so I'll have a lot of time to relax after :)**

**It's more of a fillery and short but I set it up so that the next part can come into play.**

**I don't own glee.**

**This chapter is dedicated to reader170 who translated this into SPANISH! :D  
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* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 8<strong>

I arrived back at Dalton Monday morning, not at all feeling ready to face the week. I had picked up coffee on the way to school so I was at least fueled with caffeine, even if I was completely exhausted. The nightmares had been nonstop over the weekend, which meant I had gotten nowhere near enough sleep. I had bags under my eyes and I was ready to fall asleep. But I had to go to class; I couldn't waste the money dad and Carole spent on my education.

I quickly took my bag from the passenger seat and walked to my dorm. I didn't bother with unpacking since I didn't have nearly enough time to finish it. I selected the books I needed for my morning classes and ran to history. I supposed me showing up early would be a good cover-up for Mr. Turner.

I sat down at my desk and took out my books silently when I reached the class. Mr. Turner gave me a nod in greeting and I nodded back in acknowledgement. I looked out the window to watch the students walk around the grounds. I caught a glimpse of Nick and Jeff coming into the building. I felt my stomach churn. I wondered if Blaine told them about me ignoring him or not. I guess I'd just have to wait and see if I was beaten up by them after class. They seemed rather protective of Blaine so I wouldn't be surprised.

More students filed into the class and sat at their assigned desks. Nick and Jeff only gave me fleeting glances before diving into a conversation about a pizza party the Warblers had to celebrate their tie at Sectionals. I wasn't sure if I should be worried or not about their lack of attention to me. They could know nothing about my lack of communication with Blaine, or they could be waiting to strike when it was least expected.

Mr. Turner began the lesson right after the bell rang. Because of the intense note-taking we did, I was able to get my mind off of the betrayal and possible consequences of my actions for an hour. It may have been a challenging class, but I appreciated the lesson.

When the bell rang I took as long as possible to get ready for my next class. I dawdled as much as I could in the halls, going as far as purposely dropping my books to waste time picking them up. I did anything I could to delay getting to literature. I didn't want to have to talk to Blaine.

I sat at my desk just as the final bell rang. I could see Blaine turn to greet me but I stared pointedly at my books as I organised them for the class. When they were organised in no specific order, I stared straight at Mr. Adams who was just finishing up attendance.

"Hey," I heard Blaine whisper beside me.

I almost replied, but stopped myself just in time. I gave him a quick glance before opening my book to the pages Mr. Adams had written on the board.

"So, how did you enjoy the Warblers performance?" Blaine asked.

"It was... fine," I said carefully, my voice not much louder than a whisper. I pretended to concentrate on the words written on the page but I was too busy freaking out.

Blaine sat up straighter. "Did you get the texts I sent you?"

My mind reeled for a moment to come up with an excuse for not replying. "No, I f-forgot my charger here and it died on the way back home," I lied not too convincingly.

From the corner of my eye I could see Blaine's smiling face turn down in a look of sadness. "Then why did I see you with your phone at Sectionals?"

I froze. "I-It was my stepmother's," I lied, even less convincingly with the way my hands began to tremble.

"Do you not want to talk to me?" Blaine asked quietly. "Because if you don't all you have to do is say so."

My silence was enough of an answer to his question.

* * *

><p>I decided to avoid the auditorium while I was at Dalton. It was too much of somewhere Old Kurt would like to be, and it was too likely Blaine would find me. So my dorm it was.<p>

After I ate a granola bar from the box I brought from home, I unlocked my phone to read the happy messages Blaine had sent after the competition. For some reason I couldn't delete them as much as I wanted to. There was something about Blaine that made me feel like I could trust him. It was exhausting because my instincts were constantly fighting against each other. One side, the more logical side, was telling me to stay far away because he would only hurt me. The other was telling me to befriend him because he was safe.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts. There was no reason to trust Blaine. It was only going to hurt more if I got close to him so I may as well distance myself now.

I deleted all of his texts off my phone.

* * *

><p>Mrs. Daniels was discussing chords during class that day. It involved a few things to write down but mostly drawing notes on a staff to give us a visual of the chord. I could already tell we'd have to do the same diagrams on tests. It was easy enough though, being as I played – <em>used <em>to play piano.

The diagrams themselves didn't take very long. Because of that, I often got pieces of paper put on my desk. I knew without looking that they were notes from Blaine trying to get me to communicate with him. After the first five pieces of paper being put on my desk, I took as long as possible to draw the chords. The notes stopped coming about three quarters through the class. After they stopped arriving, I began to draw the chords at a more normal speed.

We had five minutes before the bell rang when she finished the lesson. She decided we could get in our groups to discuss the project.

Right. I forgot about the project.

I guess I would have to talk to Blaine outside of class.

"Do you want to meet up at the same time again?" asked Wes. "It seems to be working out for all of us."

I gave a small nod as the other two agreed verbally.

"Excellent," said Wes. "Wait, Blaine didn't you have something you wanted to perform Friday? Ask Mrs. Daniels if you can perform it now."

Blaine bit his lip. "It doesn't matter. It's not that important."

David looked at him strangely. "Um... okay? Usually you'd perform it anyways, even if it had the importance of an earthworm."

"Hey, earthworms _are_ important," Blaine defended.

David rolled his eyes. "Whatever. But seriously man, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," said Blaine, but the smile he gave didn't reach his eyes like his smiles usually did. I could tell, being as I had given so many fake smiles in my life.

David stared for a few moments. "Ah," he said, nodding. "I understand."

"What?" asked Wes. "Tell me!"

"Don't worry about it Wesley," said David nonchallently.

"Um... okay?"

_So does this mean David is in on whatever Blaine planned and Wes isn't?_ I thought to myself.

"Kurt, do you want to meet up before Wes and David show up so we can work on physics?" Blaine asked me with a hopeful glint in his eyes.

"I-I think I'm fine," I stuttered.

Blaine nodded. "That's good," he mumbled, but the light in his eyes had dimmed.

"Sorry," I mumbled. _Why are you apologising? You did nothing wrong._

"No, Kurt, it's fine," said Blaine with a tight smile. "I'm glad it's getting easier for you."

I nodded and the bell rang. I picked up my books and dashed out of class. I had until seven o'clock to prepare myself to see Blaine outside of class.

* * *

><p>I went straight back to my dorm after sixth period with my brain completely fried. I didn't know what I was going to do about the upcoming test, but I would just have to try my best to understand everything. I wasn't going to ask Blaine for help so deciphering it myself was the next best thing.<p>

_Dude why the hell didnt u tell me some1 was bothering you? – Finn_

_No one's bothering me Finn – Kurt_

_Then why did Mercedes tell me you broke down on her after Sectionals bcause of someone at school? – Finn_

_I'm sorry, I thought that was private – Kurt_

Why in the world did Mercedes tell Finn?

_That doesnt freaking change that it happened! – Finn_

_It doesn't matter Finn. You didn't care before, why should you even bother pretending to care now? – Kurt_

Maybe that was too harsh. Who was I kidding, of course it was too harsh. I knew Finn cared, otherwise I wouldn't have even had the option of going to Dalton. I was just frustrated with everything going on.

_I'm sorry, I didn't mean that – Kurt_

_Don worry bout it man. I kinda deserved it. Ttyl, Pucks starting a COD marathon – Finn_

_Have fun – Kurt_

My brain wasn't ready to cope with homework quite yet, so I took out Harry Potter – which I had put aside all weekend – and began to read. Blaine didn't need to know if I finished it or not and I'm sure I'd be able to make something up if he did end up asking. Putting my thoughts aside, I began to get immersed in the fantasy world.

An hour later my brain felt thoroughly refreshed and I began to work on my homework. There was surprisingly little to do so once I completed what was due, I began to work on translating what we did in physics into something understandable.

I left my dorm at seven with all the things I had for the project. I was late, mostly due to me not wanting to go, but it didn't really matter. I hoped they wouldn't do anything too drastic because of it.

I reached the library in good time. I glanced around, not seeing them after a few quick scans. I sighed. That meant they were somewhere more private. I was just reaching the far side of the library when I stopped suddenly in my steps. I could hear Wes talking. Talking about me.

"Is Kurt even coming?" asked Wes.

"He should be," Blaine answered quickly. "He said he would. He's just running a little late." _Why was Blaine defending me? I haven't done anything to deserve it._

"So you never did tell me why you were sad," commented Wes.

"I'm not _sad_," defended Blaine.

"Fine then. Why are you unhappy?" Wes reworded.

"I'm not-"

"Blainers here is sad because Kurtsie has been ignoring him," chimed David.

My brows furrowed in confusion. Why would that make him sad? Was whatever he was getting in return for toying with the new kid really _that_ important?"

"Really?" asked Wes in surprise. "I thought he was just concentrating on the lesson in music. Why?"

"How should I know?" Blaine asked in frustration. "All I know is that he was opening up to me and now he's suddenly shutting himself away again."

"Did you say anything to throw him off?" asked Wes.

"Not really," said Blaine. "We were talking about Sectionals on Friday. I think I mentioned something about what I was going to do Sunday and then..." Blaine sighed. "He didn't respond to any of the texts I sent except for a few but I don't think they were actually from him and it looked like he was purposely avoiding me at the competition."

"Sunday? You mentioned your practices?" asked Wes curiously. "That could have a lot to do with it. He is kind of like you were."

"What do you mean?" asked Blaine.

_Yes, what does Wes mean?_ I thought.

"Just keep trying to talk to him Blaine. Don't give up," said Wes.

"You're sure I shouldn't just leave him alone? He basically told me to stop bothering him in literature"

"Positive," Wes said firmly. "It'll be worth it."

I waited until they were quiet to walk to the table where they were sitting at. I didn't know why whatever they were planning would be worth it, but I also didn't understand why jocks found wasting two dollars on a combination of ice and corn syrup was worth my reaction and ruined clothes.

I watched carefully as Blaine took a deep breath before he gave me a wide smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "Hey Kurt."

Wes and David turned to give me small smiles before Wes gestured to the seat across from him which, of course, was right beside Blaine. I walked slowly to the empty chair and pulled it out so that when I sat down I would be at the edge of the table. I could tell they noticed my seating arrangement but they didn't say anything about it. I carefully placed my things on the table and waited for them to say something.

"We were thinking of working on our pop culture write-ups to get them out of the way," said Wes when it was clear I was going to stay silent. "Does that work with you?"

I nodded quietly and took out the printed version of the information sheet I had.

"Do you need to do more research on it or are you just going to write it?" asked Wes politely.

"I have enough research," I said, my voice just above a whisper.

"Excellent. Do you want to work on it on the computer or handwrite it here?" asked Wes.

"Handwriting works for me," I mumbled. They'd all be at the computers anyways.

"Cool," said David. "In that case, Wes and I will go do more research while you and Blaine can stay here to write your part."

Wait. Blaine was staying? That wasn't good. The conversation I'd overheard confused me. Now I wasn't sure what to believe. I needed time by myself to decide what to do, not time with Blaine who would no doubt try to strike up conversation.

"We'll be back later," said Wes who picked up his binder and stood up.

"See you!" said David who began to walk away with Wes towards the computers.

I read over my research and began to mark what I would have in each paragraph. Blaine and I worked – thankfully – in silence for about ten minutes before Blaine spoke up.

"Your friends were good this weekend," he commented. "I assume they were the New Directions?" he asked, looking up at me through his dark lashes.

I nodded, not looking up from what I was writing though it had turned into mindless scribbles. If I looked at him I would fall deep into the hazel orbs which were his eyes and immediately start to trust him again. He made me feel things that I'd never felt before. I didn't know what they meant. I had to keep my distance from him, at least until I had figured things out. He was a jock after all, why should I trust him?

"I'm curious. If you were still at McKinley would you have been competing too?" Blaine asked.

"No," I said with a quiet firmness in my voice. "I don't sing."

"Okay," said Blaine. A few minutes later he spoke up again. "Kurt? I have to ask, did you know the Warblers were competing against them?"

"I didn't," I mumbled hesitantly. From the corner of my eye I watched as Blaine put down his pencil and turned himself to better face me.

"If you had known... Would you have gone?"

I bit my lip and seriously considered the question. I would have definitely tried to get out of it, but would I have succeeded? "I don't know," I mumbled.

Blaine's shoulders' slumped down a miniscule amount. "Oh," he said, his voice far from the happy one I was used to.

After he didn't say anything else, I went back to plotting the outline. I worked in complete silence, aside from the pencil scratching. If I were alone, or with anyone in New Directions, I would probably be working with one of my legs crossed overtop the other. But I was with Blaine, so my back was perfectly straight and tense, and my feet were placed firmly on the ground.

"So have you read any of Harry Potter lately?" asked Blaine after a while.

"I haven't had much time to," I answered truthfully.

"When was the last chance you got to read?" asked Blaine.

"I read a bit today but none this weekend," I responded.

"You're enjoying it though?"

"It's a good quality piece of writing," I responded.

"That doesn't mean you like it. Twilight is a good quality piece of writing, but that doesn't mean I enjoy it," Blaine said.

"And how would you know if it's a good quality piece of writing then?" I asked playfully. I bit my tongue hard enough to taste blood after my mouth spewed out that comment. That was too much like Old Kurt.

"Touche," Blaine said, a smile clearly audible in his voice. "I was curious about the hype when it grew popular so I bought the series and read it. Bella's kind of really pathetic in New Moon and Breaking Dawn wasn't my cup of tea. But the first wasn't bad – aside from Bella – and Eclipse definitely had some good lines, I'll admit. Just don't tell Wes or David. They'll never let me live it down."

"So what else did you do this weekend?" Blaine asked when I stayed quiet.

"Not much," I mumbled.

"You didn't celebrate with New Directions?"

"There was a barbeque I guess," I responded.

"How was that? Good food?" Blaine pressed.

I could tell he was trying to get me into a conversation but I really didn't want to talk. I didn't want to risk slipping up again. "I guess."

Blaine bit his lip softly and nodded. I had grown skilled as watching people's body language to figure out what they were planning or thinking. And from what I could see at the edge of my periphery vision, Blaine was trying to think of something to say that would lead me into a conversation. "So how was physics today?"

"It was good," I said quickly. _And that doesn't sound at all like you're lying,_ I thought sarcastically to myself.

"What did you cover?" asked Blaine.

_Say something, anything! _"Mitosis," my mouth blurted. _Idiot Hummel..._

Blaine's brows furrowed in confusion. "Isn't that biology?"

"Um... Wh-What are you talking about?" I stuttered.

"You said 'mitosis' which is a part of cell division," said Blaine confusedly. "That's biology, not physics."

"I-I didn't say mitosis."

"Then what did you cover?"

"M-Magnetism," I said, my mind suddenly flashing to what I had looked over earlier.

Blaine nodded. "I'm not sure how I misheard you, but alright. Did you understand it okay?"

I nodded quickly. _No I did not, but you don't need to know that._

"Good!" Blaine said happily, though I wasn't sure if he believed me or not.

I continued to work quietly on my outline. Blaine finished his earlier than I did and instead of working on the write-up, he started to watch me work which was frankly unnerving. He wasn't looking at what I was writing either; it was my face he was staring at. I could feel my cheeks start to blush and I shuffled uncomfortably in my seat hoping he would get the hint that I wasn't comfortable with what he was doing, but he only tilted his head and leaned it on his hand.

"C-Can you stop?" I stuttered after a few minutes.

"Hm?"

"Stop staring, please," I mumbled.

"Oh, is it making you uncomfortable?" When I nodded and rolled my eyes as if to say 'obviously' Blaine blushed. "Sorry, I didn't mean to. It's just I'm done and bored and you're interesting."

I was 'interesting'? What in the world was that supposed to mean? There were so many possible explanations for his comment that I couldn't even think of narrowing them down. "Why don't you work on the write-up?" I suggested, changing the subject.

"We're going to show the outlines and edit them before we work on the actual piece that'll be handed in," Blaine explained. "It's easier than switching everything around after being written."

It made sense, I supposed. "Well can you do something other than stare at me please?"

Blaine nodded and smiled apologetically. "I'm going to go find Wes and David to check up on how they're doing," he said before he stood up and walked off in the direction the other two boys had left soon after I'd arrived.

I relaxed myself slightly, only enough for there to be a difference. I didn't know when Blaine was coming back so I couldn't completely calm myself. I sat working on my outline for about ten minutes. Just as I finished, Blaine returned with Wes and David in tow.

"Hey Kurt," said David. "How's your outline coming?"

"Done," I mumbled.

Wes smiled politely at me. "Excellent. We'll get started then. So I decided to break mine down into different sections. I organized it in songs, characters, mini-plots and other. Now what I found was..."

I half-listened as Wes began to list what he had found. Half an hour later he was finished, and Blaine and David looked like they were about to fall asleep.

"So what do you think?"

"Um... Great!" exclaimed David.

"Honestly, I was just about to sleep," Blaine admitted.

Wes glared at the two. "Do I have to explain everything again?"

"_Please_ don't," David whined. "I'd like to leave the library before I'm twenty."

"Why don't you just photocopy the outlines so everyone has a copy?" I suggested quietly. "We can look over them in our own time and there'll be more than one if someone loses theirs."

Wes thought for a moment before nodding. "That's an excellent idea Kurt, thank you," he said.

I shrugged and forced down the blush that was about to cover my cheeks.

"Okay then, hand me your outlines everyone," said Wes.

I carefully slipped mine in front of him. Wes scanned it over as Blaine and David took theirs out. "Thank you," he said before getting up to go copy the large amount of pages he now carried.

I checked my watch, noticing that it was now nine o'clock. I gave a small yawn and closed my books up. I was tired, and I wouldn't be able to work well if we stayed in the library. Blaine began to yawn as well, followed by David.

"I hate yawn chains," said David.

"Sorry," I mumbled quickly.

"It's fine Kurt," said Blaine, smiling gently at me. "You can't help it if you're tired."

I swallowed thickly and nodded.

Wes returned a few long minutes later with a stack of papers in his hands. "The outlines are in bunches. I think mine's at the bottom, then Kurt's, then yours Blaine and David's is at the top," Wes listed. He passed me the stack which I quickly organised into separate piles.

When everyone had taken their sheets, Blaine suggested they head up to the dorms. Wes agreed, though it seemed the only reason was because the library was about to close. He ordered us to read over the outlines and make notes on them for the next day.

When I got to my dorm I decided it was necessary to take a shower. My skin felt like it had gotten dirtier throughout the day and I couldn't have that. I may not have had a moisturizing routine anymore, but I couldn't be slobby. I had to look professional, especially at a school like Dalton.

I took a longer shower than usual as the warm water was comforting as it ran down my pale skin. I got out after around twenty minutes which would have been considered short for Old Kurt. I changed into a loose t shirt and a pair of sweatpants before I brushed my teeth. Once I was ready for bed, I walked back into my room and climbed into my bed and slipped under the covers.

_Dude, you have school 2morow rite? – Finn_

_It's a Tuesday Finn. People generally have school on Tuesday. – Kurt_

_Y? – Finn_

_Yes Finn, I have school tomorrow. – Kurt_

_Cool – Finn_

_Why do you ask? – Kurt_

_Jus wonderin – Finn_

_Nite! – Finn_

That was definitely a strange conversation. Finn generally went to bed way later than what time it was now. I sincerely hoped he wasn't planning anything ridiculous.

Suddenly my phone began to ring in my hands causing me to jump. "H-Hello?" I asked shakily.

"Kurt! Hi!" exclaimed my dad on the other end.

"Hi dad," I said softly.

"How was your day?"

"It was fine."

"What did you learn?" he asked.

I rolled my eyes. "Dad no parent asks that to a child in high school."

"Well _I _do," he said with a chuckle. "But in all seriousness, how is school?"

"It's fine dad."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm fine," I repeated. "The classes are more challenging yes, but I can handle them."

"Even physics?"

I bit my lip. "That may be an exception," I admitted. I couldn't lie to him, not about something so trivial. He'd find out anyways.

My dad sighed. "Kurt is there anywhere you can go to get help? I don't want you getting kicked out of that place because you don't have a math brain. Have you tried asking the teacher?"

"He never explains it well to me and gets frustrated," I mumbled.

"What about tutoring-"

"No. I tried, it didn't work out," I said firmly.

My dad sighed. "Just keep working at it. I'll see if any of the guys have any suggestions."

"Sounds good," I mumbled. "How was work?"

"It was pretty busy for a Monday," my dad said. He then began to trail off and describe different cars that came in and what their problems were. I listened, commenting at the right moments, even though I was falling asleep.

"I've been talking almost the whole time, sorry kiddo. Back to school, what did you do?"

"It was a normal class day," I mumbled.

"And what exactly is a normal class day?" my dad asked.

"Notes, I guess."

"What about in the cooking class?"

"Notes about the uses of a spatula," I said. It definitely hadn't been an exciting class, but I found it necessary after witnessing all the different (and many unsanitary) ways the class used spatulas the week before.

"...Fun," said my dad slowly. "What about French?"

"We started a novel study."

"Oh? What book?"

"The Count of Monte-Cristo," I said. "That's the English title anyways."

"Do you think it'll be good?"

"I don't know, we only read the first chapter."

"What about in English?"

"Reading and questions," I replied immediately.

"I thought you said you only did notes today," my dad said in an attempt to be humorous. When I didn't laugh he cleared his throat. "What about that music class you're in?"

"We talked about chords."

"What are those?"

"Notes layered onto each other," I explained. "If you're singing for example, one person might be singing a low part, one the middle part and someone else the high part. The notes combined are what form a chord."

"Guitars and pianos do those too right?"

"Yes dad," I said, curling myself more into a ball for warmth.

"Right. What about after school, did you do anything exciting then?"

"Homework I guess," I said. "I went to the library too to work on a group project."

"A group project?" my dad asked excitedly. "Tell me about it!"

"Cna we talk later?" I asked bluntly. "It's just I'm absolutely exhausted and-"

"Oh wow! I never even noticed the time! I'll talk to you later then kiddo. I love you," my dad said.

"I love you too dad," I said softly.

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight," I repeated back before I hung up the phone. I put it on my bedside table and then slowly got myself to fall asleep.

* * *

><p><strong>What's Finn up to? Or is he just being his normal self?<strong>

**How did you guys enjoy Heart? I loved it. Rachel's dads were amazing. JUST GONNA SAY THAT. And just... It was awesome. I don't want to spoil it for anyone.**

**Thank you all so much for reading! I lessthan3 you all!  
><strong>


	9. Chapter 9

**I've returned from Disney which was an absolute blast :)**

**So this chapter I'm pretty happy with. There's a pretty intense scene just after the beginning involving violence. I'll just warn you now. **

**I own nothing.  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 9<strong>

Something was going to happen today. That I knew. I wasn't sure what, let alone if it would be good or bad. This feeling... it made me uneasy. The last time I had felt this was that night when I had taken that risk. I most certainly would not be taking any risks today.

Blaine smiled as I sat down next to him in second period. I glanced down quickly and avoided his eyes meeting mine. Those honey eyes were always so well masked with happiness and caring and I really didn't want to deal with them today as gorgeous as they were. _Stop it Hummel_, I told myself. _You're playing right into his hand._ The strange vibes could very well happen to do with something Blaine had been planning for me.

...That's what it was wasn't it? I mean, what else could it be? Whether it was going to be a massive slushy attack, locking me in a pot-o-potty (did Dalton even have them?), beating me up, throwing pee balloons – I didn't know. Whatever it was, there was no doubt it would be some form of torture, of humiliation, that would shake me to the core. _Stay in public_, I thought. Though that safety mechanism had never worked at McKinley.

"Good morning!" Blaine said cheerfully.

I mumbled a response back though I wasn't quite sure what I said. It could have been random noises. Or a compliment with the way Blaine beamed. I seriously hoped I hadn't mentioned anything too big about myself like the fact I was gay for example. THAT would cause more problems than I could handle.

"So how'd you sleep?" he asked.

I eyed him suspiciously. Where was this going? "Fine," I said slowly though it was a lie.

"Good, good, me too," said Blaine. "So me and Wes and David are planning on going to a football game this weekend with a couple other Warblers. Interested in joining? Dalton is playing so we thought it'd be fun to watch. Well, I'm playing but you know what I mean. I think we're playing against your old school, McKinley, so you could rally up some of your friends from there and they could go too. Anyways, do you want to come?"

"I don't think so," I said carefully. I knew Finn had been planning to take me. I'm sure I could come up with some excuse.

Blaine shrugged like it didn't matter but I could tell my rejection had started to push him out of the happy bubble he seemed to be in. "It's cool. So did you read over all the outlines?"

I shook my head slowly. _That was for today? Oh well, at least I don't have anything better to do at lunch._

"Me neither," Blaine said. "Wes can't kill me if I'm not the only one who fell asleep as soon as I got to my dorm. Though I might do it at lunch, if you want to join me? There'll be a better chance Wes won't strike you over the head with a gavel!"

So that was the plan. Beating me up with a gavel. I had to say that was a lot more... original than what the jocks at McKinley came up with. That didn't mean it wouldn't hurt any less though. Wes didn't really seem like the violent, cruel type. Overbearing and controlling, yes, but not violent and cruel. But then again, you could never judge a book by its cover, I learned that the hard way.

I shifted in my seat and the lesson began. It was a fairly relaxed lesson so there were plenty of chances for Blaine to start conversations with me and plenty more chances for me to deflect all of his attempts.

I decided to skip lunch that day. The unease was making my stomach queasy so I wasn't hungry. There was no use ingesting food I didn't want. I instead decided to stay in my room. Halfway through lunch I began to wander Dalton's grounds alone to get whatever was going to happen over with. I was surprised nothing did happen. It was the perfect opportunity as I was alone wandering where it was mostly deserted.

As I walked towards my next class, I cast suspicious glances over the other Dalton students. It might not be Blaine after all. It could be someone I haven't met. Was it just me or were they all staring at me? No, that was my imagination. Something was going to happen and I didn't like that I couldn't figure out what it was.

I grew more and more antsy as French passed on. Would it happen in music? That didn't quite make sense as there'd be a staff member in the room but what had any staff ever done to help me at McKinley? I supposed Coach Sylvester was an exception, but that was beside the point. It was maybe a different school with different staff but surely they'd have the same opinions on me. I was pretty sure they all had connections to each other and spent their free time making fun of other students and giving other teachers all the details on them anyways.

I sat down in my seat, Wes and David pausing in their conversation to greet me. Blaine hadn't arrived yet which was a plus for me. I wouldn't need to avoid having a conversation with him. But then the bell rang and he still hadn't arrived.

"Anyone know where Blaine is?" Mrs. Daniels asked glancing to the empty desk beside me. "I thought I saw him earlier today. He's not one to skip."

I shook my head because I was at as much of a loss as she was as to where the lead Warbler was. I could see some of the Warblers glance around nervously, particularly Wes who was attempting to crane his neck into the hall even though he was in the back corner of the class.

She shrugged and marked him absent. The lesson began soon afterwards.

Halfway through class I realized I really had to go to the washroom. I hadn't gone at lunch like I usually did. We were doing worksheets at the time so I raised my hand to ask.

"Mrs. Daniels would you mind if I went to the washroom?" I asked once I walked up to her desk.

"Go ahead Kurt," she said smiling. "Here's a hall pass. If you see Blaine, find out why he's not here please."

I nodded, took the sheet of paper and left the room. The closest bathroom was near the entrance to the building so I headed in that direction. Just as I walked out after I had finished doing my business I heard a muffled thump.

My brows furrowed. That was strange. The only time I'd heard that noise was when someone – often myself – was being shoved into a wall. _I knew Dalton wasn't safe_, I thought bitterly. Then another thought occurred to me. What if Blaine was down there? I had told Mrs. Daniels that I'd see if I could find Blaine – or something of the sort – so maybe I could stop it somehow and get Blaine to go back to class. But wouldn't that just put me back into the prime spot to be bullied? _No, _I though firmly. _I should help. Or at least see what's going on._

I took a deep, nervous breath and went in the direction that I'd heard the noise. Blaine was there, but not in the situation I expected him to be.

Blaine was being held against a wall by his collar, feet dangling in the air, by no one else but my stepbrother. Puck was right beside him looking angry and menacing. Blaine looked absolutely terrified at the situation he was in and I could see tears prickling in his eyes. He kept shaking his head and was then suddenly punched in the stomach. I had frozen in shock. Finn said something angrily – I couldn't decipher what it was – before he threw a punch at Blaine's jaw.

Blaine's weak cry of pain was what brought me out of my standstill.

"Finn," I said strongly. All three turned and looked at me with different expressions. Finn looked embarrassedly at my glare, Puck looked indifferent that I had showed up and Blaine looked like he didn't know how to feel. "What are you doing?"

"We're teaching this _punk_," said Puck with another punch to Blaine's gut, "a lesson."

"Put him down," I said firmly.

"But-"

"Finn _put him down _or I swear on all things McQueen that your Xbox will be found in pieces," I snapped angrily as I stormed up to him.

Finn suddenly stepped away from Blaine who dropped painfully onto the floor. He went into sitting position and leaned up against the wall clutching his stomach as he watched the scene in confusion.

"What are you doing?" I said calmly, though with no lack of anger.

"He needs to be taught what happens when people mess with you!" Finn exclaimed.

"But I haven't been messing with him," Blaine said nervously.

"Oh shut up you asshole," snapped Puck. "We all know you are. And you want to know what? Me and Finn here, we aren't letting that happen."

"And how do you suppose to do that?" I asked, crossing my arms against my chest.

"Well we started but then you decided to interrupt us," said Puck, going into a similar stance.

I glared. "I can handle myself fine thank you very much."

"You think you can but you can't!" Finn said angrily. "Every time you do say that _something _will happen that proves you obviously can't look after yourself!"

"I _can _Finn!" I nearly screamed. "I've been doing it for years and I can _keep _doing it!"

"If you can handle things so well then why were you crying to Mercedes about this guy?" Puck said with a raised brow and a swift kick to Blaine's leg.

I felt my cheeks flush brightly and I gave a quick glance at Blaine who looked at me completely shocked, confused and hurt. I opened my mouth to give a reply but nothing came out. Why did they have to say that? It was only going to make things worse. I closed it again, reluctant to give into the fact that maybe they were right.

"See," said Puck smugly.

I huffed angrily. "I can handle things by myself," I repeated.

"See you said that with Braden and looked how that turned out?" Finn muttered.

"Just go Finn," I said, tears beginning to prick at my eyes.

"We're trying to protect you Princess!" Puck snapped.

"Well _don't_."

Then I was shoved against the wall by Puck, my back slamming against the wood hard enough to bruise. "Just accept it goddammit!"

I started to shake which in seconds turned into a full-body tremble. Memories started to cloud my vision and I could feel myself going into a full flashback. Dalton's walls started to fade and were replaced by a scene from that night. The cars. The brick wall. The pavement. The people. The pain.

When I came back to reality I was on the floor curled in a ball. Someone was sitting next to me mumbling things that I wasn't ready to decipher. A hand was running through my hair. My head was in someone's lap. It was calming, to say the least. It certainly helped bring me out of the flashback.

"Don't you _fucking_ touch him," I heard someone snap before the comfortable pillow/person I'd been using was ripped away from under my head.

I opened my eyes to see Puck glaring down at Blaine making the small boy on the floor look even smaller. "L-Leave him alone," Blaine said in what was supposed to be confidently but the wanted effect was lost with his stutter. "H-He doesn't want you here."

Puck snorted. "Funny. Coming from you."

"I don't know what-"

"Sure you don't," snapped Finn, giving Blaine another swift kick.

"St-Stop it," I said, getting myself to stand up on my trembling legs.

"Dude just – We're trying to help," said Finn rushing over to help me stand.

"Well all you're doing is making things harder! _God _Finn! If I wanted your help I would have come to you! And the reason I didn't was because I _don't_!"

"Dude-"

"Just- Just _fuck off Finn_," I said, unfallen tears blurring my vision. "And don't call me dude."

Puck glared. "Fine. Don't come to us for help when you need it because we won't be showing up," he snapped before storming off.

Finn opened his mouth to say something but then he shook his head and followed Puck giving me a sad look.

Blaine weakly stood up again and walked over to me as tears began to fall. "Kurt? Are you- Are you okay?"

"Jus- Just go," I said before getting away from him as fast as I could.

* * *

><p>I ended up going to my dorm instead of class. I couldn't go back there. I locked the door and fell on my bed in sobs. Finn and Puck had made the worst mistake possible. I had shown weakness in front of Blaine and they had forced me to let out some of my old self. He knew what would affect me and he would use that to his advantage. ...Right?<p>

I had to admit his actions confused me. It had to have been him who brought me out of the flashback, but why would he bother? Was it to provide a false sense of security around him? He stood up for me, that I knew. But what was it for? Was it to hurt me more later or was it because he genuinely_ cared_? I was so confused, and I wasn't able to face him until I figured it out.

Finn and Puck... They had completely humiliated me in front of the one person that I wanted to be humiliated in front of the least. They said too much about my past and they made me show too much vulnerability in front of him. He knew how to bring me to that state and I'm sure he was able to figure out some things. He wasn't lacking in intelligence so I'd be surprised if he hadn't.

I had to figure out if I wanted him to know things or not. My first instinct was to say no, but was that really what I wanted? I'd been feeling so lonely here at Dalton, but the fact that no one knew me was refreshing. Did I really want that to change? But there was an unexplainable longing in my chest to have someone to talk to, someone to laugh with, someone to just be myself with. If anyone were to be that person for me, it'd be Blaine. But Braden had completely ruined my ability to trust and now I didn't know what to do. I wanted to trust Blaine, I did, but I didn't know if I could, I didn't know if I was ready enough to.

_I need to talk to someone about this_, I thought to myself.

_Hey, me, Britt and Tina are going to try some Italian place in Westerville tomorrow. We're tired of Breadsticks. Want to meet us there? – Quinn_

I stared at the message. I knew Quinn and Tina weren't the types to give away secrets. I had told them each things that they had never breathed a word about. Brittany could say something accidentally, but in the time I dated her I could tell she was excellent at giving advice about people that always worked when you made sense of it. She wasn't the brightest in school but with people she was a genius. If there was anyone in New Directions that I could ask for advice, it would be them. Rachel and Mercedes obviously had too big of mouths, Santana would do something rash and I couldn't trust any of the guys. Well, maybe I could trust Artie and Mike, maybe Sam, but I wasn't close enough to them to go to them with something like this.

_Sure – Kurt_

_Great! If you're wondering about Santana, she has to go to some family event so don't worry about her – Quinn_

I bit my lip. I'd been wondering. _You can tell I need advice then? – Kurt_

_Not exactly, but we figured if there was anyone you'd talk to it'd be us three. I guess we were right? – Quinn_

_Yeah – Kurt_

_We'll listen. Just tell us everything and I swear we won't breathe a word – Quinn_

_I know. – Kurt_

_I have to go, class. See you tomorrow! I'll tell you the place and time later. – Quinn_

_Sounds good – Kurt_

I put my phone down and turned it to off. I didn't want to talk to people right now, let alone go to class. I may have been missing my worst subject, but it wouldn't do me any good to go to class in my state.

I picked up the Harry Potter book I had started and began to read, hoping that the characters would tell me what to do. They didn't, though the ending put me in a much more lighthearted mood. Instead of taking out the second book to start I decided to take a nap. I needed one.

* * *

><p>I woke up to the sound of someone knocking at my door. It was nice not waking up to nightmares. The clock read that it was just before seven. I yawned and stumbled out of bed to answer the door.<p>

I unlocked it and took a deep breath. _If it's Blaine, shut the door_, I told myself.

I opened it nervously and relaxed slightly when I saw it was David.

"Hey, you feeling any better? Blaine said he saw you when you went to the bathroom – _that_ sounds perverted. I meant to say he said you got sick," said David, looking embarrassed by his first word choice.

I masked my confusion effortlessly. "Oh, yeah," I mumbled. _Why would Blaine say that? Why didn't he just say the truth? I didn't deserve it._

"You up to working on the project tonight? We can skip it if you aren't, we're ahead anyways," David asked.

"No, I-I don't think so."

"Okay, well feel better then," said David with a warm smile. "Oh! And Blaine picked up your physics homework and the rest of your school books – the ones for music – and got you chicken noodle soup," David added.

I noticed he was indeed carrying work and a styrofoam bowl covered by a plastic lid. "Thank you," I mumbled as I took the objects from his hands.

"No problem man," said David. "It's him you have to thank anyways. He would've come himself but he didn't want to walk over here. He's still sore from slipping on the ice, you know? He's going to be pretty bashed up for a while. I can't believe he hit his face on a bench though. _That _was terrible luck."

"Yeah," I agreed absentmindedly. That was confusing. Why would Blaine tell them that? He had no reason to want to protect me. But maybe he wanted to hear my side of the story first.

"Well, see you then. Feel better man," said David. He gave me a smile and I shut the door. I went and laidback on my bed as thoughts started to go through my mind about the situation. Before I gave myself a headache, I decided I would just see what the girls had to suggest.

I was right that something would happen.

* * *

><p>The next morning I called my dad to tell him I wasn't up to going to class. When I explained what had happened with Finn and Puck, he immediately agreed to clear me from my classes and promised he'd give Finn a very stern talking to. I thanked him and told him not to stress himself too much. He also gave me tips for faking sick if the nurse came up which was ironic. I turned off my phone and didn't bother to check unread messages.<p>

About a half hour later, the school nurse came up. She checked my temperature – which was warm from curling under three blankets – but I told her I was freezing. My hands became clammy simply because of how nervous I was that she'd find out. I added some coughing and made my voice raspy. My pale skin – though she didn't know it was natural – was what really convinced her. And then I was free from a day of classes.

I had just gone over the physics homework which was made much easier by the fact that Blaine had put his own little tips and suggestions on the margins of the notes. As soon as I finished, I decided to turn my phone back on.

_We're meeting at Spaghetti Yeti at 5. Ignore the cheesy name. Can you still make it – Quinn_

_Yeah, sounds good – Kurt_

_I'm kind of confused as to what happened. Call me? – Blaine_

_I told Mrs. Daniels I slipped and fell outside and hit my face on a bench. I went to the bathroom to clean up and it took longer than expected. You got sick when you were in a stall. In case someone comes questioning. – Blaine_

_I picked up your physics homework. David will take it to you. I don't think I have the strength to move and I'm not sure you can face me yet by the way you've been ignoring me. – Blaine_

_I hope you're okay Kurt. – Blaine_

_Please respond when you have a chance. – Blaine_

_You aren't in lit so I assume you're taking the day off. I'll see you later then. – Blaine _

I read them all slowly when another message suddenly came in.

_Kurt we really need to talk about what happened. Please respond to me. I need to know if you're okay. – Blaine_

I bit my lip before sending a response.

_I'm fine – Kurt_

_Really? I'm not sure if I believe that but I'll accept it for now. We need to talk – Blaine_

_I know – Kurt_

_Can I come to your dorm tonight? – Blaine_

_No. – Kurt_

_Kurt... – Blaine_

I hesitated. _Tomorrow after school – Kurt_

_Warblers are off that day so it works. See you in class tomorrow? – Blaine_

_Yeah. – Kurt_

* * *

><p>I arrived at the restaurant a few minutes late. I underestimated how bad traffic would be, but I was sure the girls would understand. I was pointed in the direction of my friends just as Brittany came up behind me and hugged me making me jump at least three feet in the air.<p>

"Dolphin!" she said excitedly.

"Hey Britt," I responded once I got over my shock and fear that I was being attacked.

"I missed you!" she exclaimed.

"Missed you too Britt," I said. I followed her back to the table where Quinn and Tina were already seated. They smiled in greeting but didn't hug me. I slid in the booth beside Brittney. "Hey," I said.

"Hey Kurt," said Tina.

"It's good to see you," said Quinn. "We ordered you a diet coke."

I nodded. "Thanks." I picked up the menu and let my eyes drift over it. I eventually decided on their specialty pasta and put my menu down. "So how's McKinley?"

"Same as always," replied Tina with a roll of her eyes. "It's like the only thing that changes is what color of slushy is being thrown at you."

I winced sympathetically. "New Directions are okay?"

"Tons of drama, but what's new about that?" replied Quinn. "It was actually mildly entertaining watching Rachel yell at Finn and Puck for missing half of glee yesterday. I don't know where he was."

"I do," I muttered bitterly.

"Does this have something to do with the advice you need?" asked Quinn, looking like she was trying to decipher what was going on in my head.

"Yeah, you could say that," I mumbled.

The waitress came and took our orders. Once she left, Brittney turned to me. "Did they go to Hogwarts?"

"Yeah they did Britt," I answered.

"What did they do?" asked Quinn, a coldness appearing in her eyes.

"What did Mercedes tell you?"

"That you collapsed on her in tears and said Blaine was just like... you know," explained Tina.

I sighed. "Finn and Puck went to Dalton to teach him a lesson or something like that," I said.

"What happened?" asked Tina worriedly.

"He didn't show up for music," I said. "I had to go to the bathroom halfway through class. When I left the washroom I heard a noise that sounded like someone being pushed into a wall. I decided to check and see what it was. Finn had him off the ground and against the wall by his shirt collar. Finn and Puck were throwing punches at his stomach and face," I explained.

"I cut in and got them to put him down. They said they were teaching him a lesson for messing with me. I said I could handle myself, but they kept saying I couldn't. Basically they implied I was naive and didn't know my own levels of capability," I muttered. "Then they started to mention Braden."

They looked at me with sad eyes and Brittney put her head on my shoulder and took my hand in hers. I squeezed it gently. "When I told them I didn't want their help Puck... he," I paused trying to figure out the right wording. "He got angry and pushed me against a wall."

I noticed Quinn's eyes had turned murderous. Tina looked furious and Brittney looked worried for me.

"What," began Quinn, in a very controlled voice that was laced with anger, "happened next?"

"I had a flashback," I said shrugging, trying to sugar coat it to make it seem it wasn't that bad. I could tell the girls didn't fall for it. "It was of that night. When I... came back, so to speak, my head was in I think a lap and a hand was running through my hair. I think I was being whispered soothing words. My pillow, I guess you could say was ripped from under me. When I opened my eyes I saw Blaine sprawled on the floor a couple feet away from me. Puck was telling him not to touch me or something like that. Blaine was telling him to leave me alone.

"They kicked him a couple of times before I got up and told them to stop again. Basically all that happened after was that I told Finn to fuck off. Puck basically said he wouldn't be helping me again and then they left," I said sighing. "I locked myself in my dorm after."

The meals came and I took a fork to dig into mine. I hadn't eaten anything today so I was rather hungry.

"First of all," began Quinn. "I agree that you can sometimes overestimate what you can and can't do." I sent her a glare. "But I believe that Finn and Puck were completely wrong in what they did. Especially Puck."

"What did the teacher say when you didn't show up again?"

I shrugged. "Blaine went to music. He said that I got sick in the bathroom so no one came asking questions. His bruises were explained by slipping on ice and hitting his face on a bench. I don't know why he didn't tell the truth."

Quinn and Tina raised their eyebrows.

"Is Blaine the hobbit with hair like Mr. Schue who wants to make dolphin babies with you?" Brittney asked, smiling at me.

"I- Britt, he's not g-gay," I said, blushing furiously.

"But he was singing to you at Sectionals!"

"Have you asked if he's gay or not?" asked Tina.

"N-No but-"

"Then how do you know?" asked Quinn with a small smirk.

"It's o-obvious," I stuttered.

"How so?"

"Well, h-he plays football!"

"So did you," Tina pointed out, hiding a small giggle.

"I-I was just doing it to make myself look s-straight for my dad though."

"How do you know Blaine's not doing that too?" Quinn asked, barely hiding a smile.

"He's not gay," I repeated.

"Sure," said Tina as she rolled her eyes. "So what else happened? Did you get your books from class back?"

"Um, yeah," I said. "Blaine got David to give them to me along with the homework I missed in physics complete with his own added tips and he got me soup."

The girls rolled their eyes and laughed. "And he's not gay?" Tina asked.

"No!"

"Tana brings me soup when I'm not happy," said Brittney. "She loves me."

I glared down at my meal. About a minute later, I felt a hand touch my shoulder. I looked up at Quinn.

"What do you need advice about?" she asked.

I sighed. "I don't know what to do. I don't get why he defended me. Is it so that he can befriend me before... And with Finn and Puck... they said things that I wanted to keep private from Dalton and what if he's figured everything out? I'm scared now that he knows how to make me vulnerable that he'll take advantage of it and I don't know... But I don't know now if I _do _want him to know. I'm so alone at-at Dalton and I was already s-sort of friends with him b-before I pushed him away when I learned he played the same sports as _him_. I can't decide if I want a friend or not and if I did then it'd be Blaine but... I don't know if-if I can _trust_ him. I don't know if I'm ready to trust anyone let alone if I can trust Blaine. I just..." I shrugged, hoping it would convey my message better.

My friends became silent. I took another piece of pasta and put it in my mouth.

"Time will make you ready to trust people," said Tina.

"I don't really know what to suggest with Blaine," Quinn admitted.

"When my mom bought her new car she tested it out a lot," said Brittney, changing the subject.

"That's great Britt, what kind of car did she get?" asked Tina.

"A black one," Britt responded.

And just like that the conversation was switched. I didn't mind, I was done talking about my problems. For some odd reason though, I couldn't get Britt's words out of my head. Her mother tested out the car before she bought it. I could do the same with Blaine. I could slowly but surely test him until I figured out whether or not to trust him.

"Britt, what you said about your mom testing out her new car," I said, cutting off Quinn who was talking about a spa trip she went on. "Were you suggesting I test Blaine to see if he's trustworthy?"

Britt smiled. "She didn't think she would like it from the outside but once she drove around she liked it. Did you know that cats can tell stories? Lord Tubbington..."

* * *

><p><strong>I love Brittney. Opinion on Finn and Puck's actions?<br>**

**A lot of you are getting frustrated with Kurt so I've decided to speed it up a little. I find this is beginning to stray from my original plot but overall I'm happy about how it's going. So yay!**

**I think I mentioned a while ago that my computer is having issues. I'll be sending it away soon to get repaired so I'll warn you now. We have more computers in the house, but they aren't always free.**

**OMG GLEE.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hello! My computer has been sent off... I bought an app and wrote most of this on my iPod. It took a while to get used to so if you feel this chapter has a weird tone compared to the others, that's why. It didn't seem too bad to me.**

**Kinda funny, the talk between Blaine and Kurt I mentioned last chapter I didn't even think was that important until I read all the reviews. Then I realized, yeah, it kind of was :P **

**I started driver's so for the next month or so I'll be at school for an extra two hours. If updates come slower... sorry. But I want to learn how to drive.  
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**I don't own glee.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 10<strong>

When I went to my first class with Blaine the next morning, I was nervous. Terrified could be a better word. I hadn't seen him since the whole Finn and Puck incident and I had no idea how he'd react to me sitting next to him. He could hate me, and spend the whole lesson ignoring me. He could be over friendly and spend the whole lesson talking about mundane things. Or he could pretend it never happened. I wasn't sure which would be worse.

I hadn't come up with any specific ways or questions to treat him on his trustworthiness. But when I thought about it, was there really a specific way to do it? I supposed analyzing everything he did would be exhausting but that's probably what I'd end up doing.

I paused just outside the class to prepare myself for however Blaine decided to act, and prepared myself for being near Blaine in general. I paused for only for a quick moment, one that was long enough to take a deep breath. Then I walked in, head held high because maybe seeming confident would help.

I nearly tripped over my own feet when I saw Blaine. He had a black eye and a fairly large bruise across his cheek. I could tell from the way he held himself – as I had held myself in similar positions many times before – that he was feeling pain in the torso, where I assumed would be the place of many bruises based on where Finn and Puck had kicked him.

He smiled at me uncertainly when our eyes met. I nodded back and walked towards Mr. Adams to get any missed work from yesterday.

"Are you okay?" he asked when I sat down.

My breathing faltered. "Why are you asking me? Shouldn't I be asking you?"

"You seemed more... How should I put it? Emotionally injured maybe? That's worse than physical injuries," said Blaine. "Physical injuries will heal in a few weeks, emotional injuries can take years. But if you're wondering, yes I'm sore, and the only way I can make it through the day is if I'm doped up on Tylenol, but I'm okay. I've had worse and the bruises will fade soon enough."

"That's good then," I murmured. He had had worse before? I wasn't quite sure what he meant by that but I figured it was probably getting tackled too hard in football or something. I knew Finn had come home from games looking worse for wear so it was probably a similar thing.

"I guess so," said Blaine. "You never did answer my question though. Are _you _okay?"

"I'm fine," I responded quietly. I didn't think that was true. I'd hardly gotten any sleep the past two nights because I was plagued by nightmares, but it'd do as an answer for Blaine.

He gave me a careful look. I could tell he wasn't falling for my answer, but he didn't ask questions. "Alright... Are we still on for tonight?" he asked.

I gave a shaky nod and my pulse sped up.

"Good," he said. "Maybe meet in my dorm right after class?"

"Okay," I mumbled. "Thank you," I added after some silence.

"For what?"

"For telling them I was sick. And for saying you fell even though it doesn't look like it."

Blaine gave a small smile. "No problem. If I was in your place I'd need time on my own too, without people badgering for questions about why. And I figured I should know what happened before saying anything about the truth. Plus I _did_ fall on the way over. It just wasn't the cause of the bruises. Thank you for stopping it before it went too far."

I shrugged. "It's fine. You didn't deserve it." _At least then you didn't. I can't say anything about the future._

The last few students trickled in and the bell rang. Blaine didn't try to make much conversation with me. I appreciated that. There wasn't much to say aside from information on why he had been attack the day before, and that was not a conversation I'd be having in a class where anyone could overhear.

"Bye Kurt," said Blaine as we left the class. Before I had a chance to respond, he turned and walked towards what I assumed was his next class.

"Bye," I mumbled as he turned the corner. I knew he wouldn't hear me, but it felt right to say it.

We made cookies in Home Ec. Instead of eating them all like most boys in the class were doing, I decided to save mine for Blaine once I tested that they tasted good. He liked the pizza I gave him. Maybe cookies could be used as a bribe to not let anyone know what happened or to not attack me at the first chance I got in forms of payback. Or an apology. I supposed either would do.

At lunch I spent my time deciding on ways to test Blaine, and different ways to explain why Finn and Puck acted the way they did. I supposed the only way to really explain what happened was by telling him my past. I didn't know if that was something I could do though, or if it was something I trusted him with. I knew I had to test how much I could trust him, but telling him that... It was too big of a risk right now. I had no idea at this point whether or not he'd keep my secrets and be a friend, or spread rumours and lies about me. By the end of lunch I had absolutely no idea what to tell him.

French passed quickly, too quickly for my liking. I supposed that was because of how nervous I was for music. Even though Blaine had been fine in Literature, we hadn't had much of a chance to talk. Generally in music there were more chances for us to discuss things and I didn't know if Blaine would try to start a conversation with me. If he didn't it'd make Wes and David suspicious, but if he did, well, then I'd have to deal with that.

I walked into music and noticed Blaine, Wes, and David sitting discussing one thing or another. _Probably Warbler related,_ I thought. I walked carefully over to my desk and sat down.

"Hello Kurt," greeted Mrs. Daniels, walking towards me with a stack of papers. "You're feeling better?"

"Yes ma'am," I replied. "I'm sorry I got sick. It was really sudden and-"

"Nonsense Kurt," she said. "Everyone gets sick. I'm just glad you made it to the washroom in time."

"Me too," I murmured.

"I have the work you missed from yesterday," she said, passing me a few sheets. "It's not too much. If you have any troubles with it let me know. You shouldn't though, all the information is in your notes."

"Of course. Thank you," I replied.

"You're very welcome," she said smiling before she walked back to her desk.

I turned to put the sheets in my binder and caught Blaine giving me a curious look. He smiled gently when our eyes met. I looked down to finish putting the work.

"So Kurt, I'm glad you're feeling better," began Wes. "And since you are I assume you'll be able to work on the project tonight?"

I nodded. "I'll be there."

"Excellent," said Wes, clapping his hands once. "In that case we'll be meeting in your room, Blaine, at seven o'clock."

"I never agreed to that," said Blaine quickly.

"Dude you're all bashed up from your fall," said David. "We aren't going to make you walk all the way down. Besides, we'll mostly be going over the outlines anyways. We don't REALLY need a computer for that. And if we do, well you have a laptop right?"

"Yeah I guess that's true," said Blaine nodding thoughtfully. "Yeah we can hold it in my room."

Wes nodded, looking pleased. As they began to talk about the warblers, I took out the second Harry Potter book. I opened the book for the first time and began to read. I didn't notice Blaine's longing stare as I did so. I got through a page before the bell rang and class started.

We were given some time at the end of class to just talk amongst ourselves. I was taking out Harry Potter again when Blaine spoke to me.

"How'd you like the first one?" he asked gently.

"Well enough to continue the second," I replied quietly. It was true, but I didn't give much away. I loved it to be honest, so obviously that meant I liked it enough to continue the series.

"Good," he replied. "I'm glad you like it." I nodded and was about to turn back to the book when Blaine continued. "So, that means you'll be watching the first movie with me right?"

I paused. "What?" _When was this? I never agreed-_

"You said you'd watch the first movie with me when you were done the book," said Blaine. "You still interested in doing that?"

Now that I thought about it, he was right. I had said I would. "I-I don't know," I mumbled. I didn't know if I wascomfortable with being in private with him.

The corners of Blaine's lips turned down and his eyes were sad, like I had just taken away his favorite toy. "It doesn't matter," he mumbled. But obviously, to him, it meant a fair bit.

_Britt told me to test him_, I though. _Maybe I can test him watching the movie. Not that I know how to test him..._ "Maybe... Maybe tomorrow night?" I asked hesitantly.

Blaine's eyes suddenly brightened and his lips slowly turned up into a smile. "Tomorrow sounds perfect Kurt," he said with excitement lacing his voice like the first hints of sunrise.

I nodded awkwardly and opened my book, this time Blaine not interrupting. I could hear Blaine excitedly tap his foot against the floor as he began to talk with Wes and David.

When the bell rang, I closed up my things and left the class. I only had one more period before I'd have to tell Blaine the truth.

Physics was both too long and too fast. I had no idea what the teacher was talking about and his voice wasn't exactly exciting so for those reasons the class was slow. But time was against me and the period rushed by. Suddenly the bell was ringing signalling the end of the day.

I gathered up my things slowly. I couldn't say I was looking forward to what I was about to do. I wasn't quite sure what I was going to do anyways. I walked slowly, being over careful to not slip and fall on the ice. I made a detour to pick up the cookies from my Home Ec. class and stopped to have a short chat with the teacher. When I finally entered the dorm building, I did so slowly and I made sure to wipe of all the snow from my boots before carefully heading upstairs. I stopped outside Blaine's door and took a deep breath before pressing a hesitant knock.

"Come in!" I heard Blaine yell, so steeling up my courage one last time, I opened Blaine's door and oh well look at that he was changing.

"Oh!" I squeaked quietly. I could feel my cheeks turn bright red because A. I had just walked in on a male changing. B. that male was Blaine and C. Blaine had _abs_ that were _extremely_ attractive and the rest of his muscles were definitely swoon-worthy and _why are you thinking about where that hair is heading? He's probably changing because he wants to confirm you're gay._

"Hey," said Blaine smiling. "Sorry, I probably should have warned you I was changing."

I quickly quelled the disappointment when Blaine put on a baggy t-shirt. "It's fine. I mean it's nothing I haven't seen before right?" I asked with a nervous chuckle at the end. _How stupid could you be?_ I asked myself.

Blaine shrugged and laughed. "True." He sat in a desk and gestured towards the bed.

I gingerly sat down. _Here goes_, I thought. "I um, I made cookies," I said, holding out the container.

Blaine looked at them curiously and grinned. "If they're half as good as the pizza it's my lucky day," he said, taking the container from me and setting it beside him. "Thank you."

I nodded and shrugged as if to say 'it's nothing'.

"So," Blaine began. "Sorry for just cutting to the chase here, but what was up with those two guys beating me up?"

Well at least we weren't awkwardly stumbling around each other. "Finn and Puck... They... Overreacted I guess you could say."

"That doesn't tell me a single thing," said Blaine. He was right. "Why did they overreact? What brought them to that point?"

I rubbed my forehead. "They're overprotective of me I guess," I mumbled.

Blaine tilted his head sideways and rubbed his forehead. "But what caused them to bring out their protectiveness of you? What did I do? Kurt, I think if anyone deserves to know, it's me."

I opened my mouth and closed it again. What could I say? I wasn't going to tell him that I cried on a friend's shoulder over him. No. That'd sound pathetic and I seriously hoped he had forgotten they mentioned that. "They... Someone told them some things and they reacted from there."

"Was that thing they were told you crying over me?" asked Blaine quietly.

I nodded and looked down ashamed. I really hoped he didn't use that information to his advantage, whatever advantage that may be.

"What- What did I do though?" he asked, almost sounding on the verge of tears.

I was quiet, thinking of an answer. "You play sports," I decided. And honestly, as weak as it sounded, it really was the only reason. I considered him playing sports as a betrayal. It didn't make sense, as not everyone who played sports was going to hurt me, and Blaine had given me no reason to think otherwise. I mean, Mike never hurt-

It hit me. Not everyone who played sports was going to hurt me. Not _everyone_ who played sports was going to hurt me. _Not_ everyone who played sports was going to hurt me. Just because Blaine played sports... It didn't mean he was automatically going to harm me. I hardly knew him, so how would I be able to tell if he was like Mike and Sam instead of like... Like... Like _him_ like I had automatically classed him? I felt utterly ridiculous.

"Um... Okay?" said Blaine, sounding completely bewildered at my answer.

"I feel stupid," I mumbled.

"No, no you aren't stupid Kurt. Don't think that," he said. "Maybe you just had some bad experiences with jocks? It's understandable, I mean, a lot have right?"

I shrugged my shoulders. He was right about the 'bad experiences with jocks'. He just didn't know how right he was.

"Who's Braden?" he asked suddenly. "Was he a jock? They mentioned him and I'm kind of confused as to..."

It was like being hit by a ton of bricks. I opened my mouth but my throat closed up. Braden. Of everything that had ever happened, he was the worst. He caused me to be who I was now. I could feel my shoulders start to shake making me realize I was on the verge of tears.

"Hey, hey it's okay," Blaine said moving quickly over to my side, when he realized my reaction. He wrapped an arm around my shoulder and brought my head to his chest, the gesture making the held back tears begin to leak out of the corners of my eyes. "Sh, it's okay. You're fine."

I felt safe. That was the only word I knew to describe the feeling of being pressed into Blaine's chest. A hand that began to move up and down my back in a comforting manner slowly got me to stop shaking and my tears to stop leaking. His scent - sandalwood, cinnamon and a little bit of something entirely 'Blaine' - somehow made me feel like I was home. But that didn't make sense because home was all the way in Lima. I stayed there, pressed up against his warm chest just embracing the feeling of being so close to him.

After a few minutes I pulled away and wiped my eyes. "Sorry," I mumbled embarrassedly.

Blaine gave an easy smile. "It's fine. Let's just skip that question shall we?"

I nodded awkwardly. Why was he so eager to switch it? Was it because he automatically knew or was it because he didn't want to have me react like that again because it was so obvious I wasn't able to answer the question?

Blaine studied me for a few minutes. We were both quiet, only the soft sounds of our breathing audible. I shuffled awkwardly for a few seconds before deciding on just staying still until Blaine finished whatever examination he was doing.

"Kurt?" he asked causing me to jump.

"Y-Yes?" I stuttered.

"I... I'm not going to ask you anything else, but was... Was bullying the reason you transferred?"

I bit my lip and slowly nodded my head.

Blaine nodded. "Okay. If you ever need to talk let me know, okay? I'll try my best to help."

"Okay," I whispered.

"I'm always here if you need me," Blaine said. "I know what it's like."

I shook my head. "You don't," I mumbled. "I'm going to go, see you later." I left the room without giving Blaine a chance to respond.

When I got to my dorm, I decided to call my dad. I felt like I needed to talk to him about what happened for support. I guess you could say I was also curious about what happened to Finn. I pulled the home number up from my contacts and pressed 'call'.

"Hello?" came the reply a few rings later.

"Hi Carole," I said.

"Kurt honey! How are you?"

"I'm fine," I replied.

"Is everything okay at school? I was furious when I heard what Finn did. He won't be having a very good time for the next month," she promised. "He's been grounded for the month and has lost all his video game systems for three weeks."

"Yeah it's going okay," I said. _Finn will most definitely not be having a good time._

"Have you talked to that boy, Blaine, at all about why he was attacked?" she asked. "If you haven't, as much as you don't want to you probably should."

"Just did," I answered.

"How did that go?"

"It went okay, I think," I replied. "I don't know…"

"How did he react when you told him about what happened before your transfer?"

"I didn't," I said. "Finn and Puck… they- they mentioned him and when he asked who he was… I just couldn't _say_ anything. I just kind of burst into tears and I don't know…"

I could picture Carole raising her eyebrows in surprise. "Did he push you for answers?"

"No. Not at all," I replied. "He just kind of… held me, I guess? And when I stopped crying he decided to skip that question. I don't know why..." We were both silent for a few seconds. "He asked me if I was bullied."

"What did you say to that?" she asked.

"I said I was. And then I left."

"Well I'm glad he isn't completely in the dark," said Carole. "Are you going to become friends with him? Because from what I heard, he wants to be, and I can tell you're getting lonely out there."

"Tina, Quinn, Britt and I met up yesterday," I said. "I talked to them about everything that happened. Britt suggested I test Blaine before becoming friends."

"That sounds like an excellent idea," said Carole. I could hear her smile. "Are you going to?"

"I plan to," I said. "I just don't know how. How do I test him? And how do I know when I can trust him?"

"There's no specific answer for that sweetie. You just have to do what feels right and put yourself in situations where you can trust him, even though you may be nervous about doing it."

"I said I'd watch a movie with him," I admitted.

"That sounds like a perfect way to start," said Carole, her proud smile audible through the phone. "That way if things feel awkward you can just focus on the movie."

"I'm kind of nervous about it," I mumbled.

"That's okay," she said. "As long as you try. I'm sure he'll understand if you feel the need to stay quiet or leave if you're really uncomfortable."

"I hope so. Is dad there?"

"No, sorry. He has a late night at the shop. And before you ask, I've already been over to bring him one of your heart healthy meals and he's taking a day off tomorrow," said Carole as I opened my mouth. "I'll let him know you called though."

"Okay. Thank you," I said.

"Of course," replied Carole. "Do you have much homework tonight?"

"Yeah, you could say that. I should probably get started on that now."

"Alright. You work on that. Be careful, and try your best with Blaine. Don't push yourself too far, but make sure you step a little bit out of you comfort zone," said Carole. "And don't automatically think the worst of anything he says."

"Okay," I answered. "Bye Carole."

"Bye Kurt."

I hung up the phone and sighed. Time to get to work. My homework was fairly simple, just time consuming. I got through Music, Literature and French fairly quickly. I was partly done history when I decided to go get something for dinner. I noticed Blaine leaving his dorm slowly when I left my own.

I walked nervously towards him. "Hi," I mumbled.

"Hey!" Blaine exclaimed, grinning at me. "What are you up to?"

"Dinner," I replied.

"Cool! Me too. Care to join me?" he asked.

I bit my lip. "I was actually just going to bring it back to my room so I could work on homework."

"Right. You missed a day, you have to catch up," said Blaine, nodding in realization. "Well, do you want to at least walk down with me?"

I bit my lip again before nodding. "Sure."

"Do you have much?" asked Blaine. "Homework I mean. Literature wasn't too bad yesterday. The questions for _Hunger Games_ were pretty simple."

"I agree," I said. "Music was easy too."

"You found that _easy_?" Blaine mock-gasped. "Identifying chords with the diagrams right in front of you is like the hardest thing_ ever_!"

"It really isn't," I said.

"I was _being_ sarcastic," said Blaine overdramatically.

"Well I wasn't," I muttered.

"So what did you do yesterday?" asked Blaine, not causing us to fall into an awkward silence like I expected.

"I did some physics," I said. "Thanks for the notes by the way."

"No problem," said Blaine. "Sorry if you didn't appreciate the tips I wrote. I probably shouldn't have done that. I mean, you get it now right? There's no point in helping if you understand."

"To be honest… I don't," I admitted quietly.

"Well, would you want to try that tutoring thing again?"

I nodded hesitantly. _Take risks,_ I told myself. _It's the only way you can find out if you can trust him. And this way, it'll benefit you in some way._

Blaine smiled. He looked genuinely happy about my answer. I wondered for a moment if it was because I'd tie in perfectly with any plans he made before I told myself not to assume the worst in him. He could just want to put it on his college applications. "Cool. Do you want to start tonight or…?"

"Maybe tomorrow?" I suggested. "After or before the movie or something?" That way I wouldn't have a chance to back out.

Blaine nodded. "Sounds good with me. I have Warblers though so I'll text you when it's done. Do you want to meet in my dorm again?"

"Sure," I whispered.

"By the way, thanks again for the cookies. I had one and it was phenomenal. I figured I should eat something healthy beforehand so I don't eat all of them at once and grow fat," laughed Blaine.

"I'm glad you like them," I said quietly.

We reached the dining hall a few minutes later. We found ourselves a spot in line and waited.

"Have you tried the Mac 'n Cheese yet?" asked Blaine.

I wrinkled my nose and shook my head. "Processed cheese and noodles doesn't really interest me."

"No they use actual cheese and it's not baked so it's like... Super yummy," said Blaine. "You haven't lived until you've tried it."

I gave him a strange look. I could try it... I could see if he was going to lead me to eat something disgusting or if he was being honest about it. "I could try it," I said slowly.

Blaine grinned. "Believe me when I say you won't regret it."

When it came time to order, I took a risk and asked for the Mac 'n Cheese. I was handed a plate with a large pile of noodles in a thick orange cheese sauce. Blaine ordered a sandwich after telling me he wasn't in the mood for what I'd ordered. I was suspicious, but didn't say anything about it.

"So I'll see you?" he asked.

I nodded. "Yeah. I'll be at your dorm for seven."

"Great," he said. "See you then." He gave me a grin and walked off to where Wes and David were sitting. They were looking at us curiously, but it didn't look like a cruel curious, more like a, "hm, well that's good" curious.

I walked back up to my dorm and placed the food on my desk. I sat down in front of it and stated at it nervously before slowly picking up my fork. I looked at it strangely before carefully placing it in my mouth. I had to admit, it was pretty good. Much better than the Kraft Dinner Finn liked. I could taste that it was real cheese, not some fake cheese tasting powder. The large amount of thick sauce was a perfect ratio over the noodles.

I finished it quickly and then began to work on homework with a happy stomach.

At exactly seven o'clock, I knocked on Blaine's door. Wes opened it and moved over to allow me to enter. I walked into the doorway carefully - nothing may have happened with Blaine the first time but who's to say nothing wouldn't with his friends? - and swept my eyes over the room. When I saw no one other than my group project members, I walked further into the room. Wes had already taken the desk chair beside David so all that was left was with Blaine on the bed and the floor. Blaine smiled gently and patted the seat beside him.

I didn't feel comfortable with being right beside Blaine so I set my books on the floor and sat beside them. I didn't look up to catch Blaine's reaction.

"You sure you don't want to move up with Blaine, Kurt?" asked David. "It's probably more comfortable."

"I'm fine," I said quietly.

"If you want to sit on the floor Kurt, we're fine with that," said Wes. "Now onto the project. I was thinking to pass all the marked outlines to their original authors so that the author can take suggestions-"

"Wes stop being a dictator," cut in David. "It's not a Warbler meeting. You don't need to sound so formal. You don't need to be formal in Warblers either. Heck, I don't know why you're so formal to begin with."

Wes shot a glare. "The Warbler traditions must be passed down through the generations of Warblers which is done through the meetings and-"

"Wes calm down," said Blaine. "Honestly, I swear it's that time of the month for you."

Wes glared. "As lead soloist-"

"I'm not lead soloist," cut in Blaine. "You just pick me to sing all the solos."

"-Of the warblers, I advise you to be more respectful to your council head otherwise the privilege you have will get taken away."

Blaine rolled his eyes. "Let's just hand back the documents shall we?"

Papers were passed around. I read mine over as the other three bickered. There weren't too many suggested edits, most of them from Wes, but a few from both Blaine and David, and all of them had very good points about the changes. I began to write them on my own copy when Blaine tapped me on the shoulder.

I flinched and turned to him. He looked at me with apologetic eyes. "Sorry," he mumbled, "But I was just wondering what you meant by this?" He was pointing to one of the comments I'd made.

"Oh, um, I just find that that information would be irrelevant. You already mentioned that you could find t-shirts at nearly all Broadway, off-Broadway and travelling productions, so I don't see the point of listing so many musicals," I said carefully; how did I know how Blaine would react to criticism? "If you think it's a terrible idea, don't go for it but it was just an idea..."

Blaine tilted his head and studied the page for a moment. He pursed his lips and nodded. "So should I just take them out altogether or keep a few or...?"

"Maybe the major ones?" I suggested quietly. "But make it clear you can buy it at nearly all of them."

Blaine nodded in agreement. "That sounds good. Thanks Kurt," he said with a gentle smile.

I nodded and turned back to my own pages.

"Is there anyone who would like to appeal for the right to keep their original organization in one or more sections of their outline?" asked Wes formally.

Blaine and David rolled their eyes and shook their heads. I was fine with all the changes so I shook mine as well."

"Excellent," said Wes. "In that case, let's have the write ups due for Friday."

"What? No!" exclaimed David.

"That's too soon Wes," said Blaine. "Monday?"

"I want to stay on top of this project you two," said Wes sounding unimpressed.

"We're 'already' on top of it Wes," pointed out Blaine. "There are groups who haven't started it yet. Give us a break. We can always work on other aspects and the write-ups at the same time."

"Kurt, what's your opinion on this?" asked Wes, turning to me for support.

"Um, it-it doesn't really matter," I said nervously.

"No, seriously Kurt," said Blaine from above me. "You opinion _does_matter. When would you prefer the rough write ups due?"

I looked up and met Blaine's honest hazel eyes. "Monday," I whispered. _Please don't kill me Wes_, I thought.

Wes sighed. "Fine. But if they aren't done Monday I have permission to smack you all on the forehead with my gavel."

I hadn't realized I had recoiled in fear until I felt Blaine rub my back in a soothing motion. I bolted about a foot to the side where Blaine was unable to reach me and stared ahead at Wes who looked down on me with pity, the look I despised the most above all other looks I'd been given.

"So are we done?" asked David, completely oblivious to what had just happened.

"I think so," said Blaine. "Unless there's something else you wanted to discuss Wes?"

"Well we could start research on-"

"No," said David. "We're done." He stood up and stretched. "I shall see you tomorrow Blaine, Kurt," he said. "Wes I'll be in our dorm."

Wes sighed. "I'll be there in a few minutes."

David gave us a wave before leaving the room. I began to gather my own belongings as Wes left.

"Wes isn't actually going to hit you with a gavel," said Blaine once said student had left the room.

I froze for a split second and stood up. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Blaine looked like he wanted to press the subject but he didn't. "I never got to ask," he said instead. "How did you like your dinner?"

"It was much better than what you buy in boxes," I decided to say.

Blaine smiled and nodded. "Good. I'm glad you liked it. At least I think you liked it." I nodded and was just shut to leave Blaine's dorm when he spoke again. "Do you want to come to mine right around four to start the movie?" he asked.

"Um, sure," I replied. _Best to get it over with_, I thought.

"Awesome!" said Blaine happily. "And Kurt, it you ever need to talk, even to just have someone listen, I'm happy to lend an ear," he said, giving me a gentle, honest look.

"I'm fine," I mumbled.

Blaine nodded. "Okay. But if you ever do, I'm here. Got it?"

I nodded to make him happy. "Okay," I whispered.

Blaine smiled. "Good. Have a good sleep Kurt."

"You too," I mumbled before leaving the room and heading to my dorm.

That night there were no nightmares.

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><p><strong>Honestly, I rather like that ending.<strong>

**Yay for Kurt testing Blaine. Yay for Blaine being nice to Kurt (when isn't he? aside from cannon). Yay for movie next chapter.  
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**Thank you all so much for your support, whether you review or not :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**I am insanely sorry about how long this took. I had to get a new computer because mine had water damage (thanks mom!) and then afterwards I had an insanely busy week with exams and assignments. PLUS Drivers 2 hours a day four times a week (but I have my learners!)... I really am sorry. Days need to be longer. **

**On top of that I had writer's block. For me, that means I can't think of what to write/it's not coming out and then I think a lot. And I get very easily distracted with writer's block. One of those distractions involved me making a tumblr account (eragonarya . tumblr . com). Tumblr can get **_**very**_** distracting.**

**I am really really really sorry. Times one thousand billion.**

**Here's the chapter! I finally got some block away and got to the end!**

**I don't own anything.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 11<strong>

I sat at a table in the library alone at lunch. I was working on my write-up for the project because I had nothing better to do. I assumed New Directions would have already made plans for me for this weekend so I thought it'd be a good idea to get my pop culture section done, or at the very least started.

I was ready to go home. It had been a long week, and I still had one and a half days left.

I was nervous for tonight. I didn't know what to expect. Would Blaine be talking the whole time to me? Or would he be sitting in silence and just watching? Would he expect me to just watch, or did he want me to make comments? Would I be sitting right beside him on the bed or would one of us be on the floor? If we were beside each other, was he the type that would cuddle with anything and everything? I wouldn't be surprised if he were, though, now that I thought about it. And how was he going to act when he was teaching me physics? He hadn't acted like he was more intelligent than me when he tutored me before, but would that change now that he knew a small part of my past? At McKinley, that'd be exactly what would happen so why wouldn't it be the same at Dalton?

I shook my head to clear my mind. Going in with expectations wouldn't help me. I had to keep an open mind, though it had become more and more difficult to do so after Blaine had been attacked by Finn and Puck. The thing was, I had a feeling I wasn't ready to be in a private space with Blaine alone for an extended period of time. I didn't think I was ready to trust him yet either, and that wasn't just because I didn't know if he were being honest or not. I wasn't ready to trust anyone new at the moment.

Mercedes had been texting me nonstop apologies the past day or so but I'd been mostly ignoring her. I had sent a few back but I could tell she was getting frustrated. I was in the middle of sending her a text to keep her from showing up at Dalton when I a shadow fell over me, meaning someone was standing right in front of me.

I looked up nervously, feeling my tensed muscles relax a fraction when I saw it was Blaine carrying a notebook that had pages falling out..

"Hey," said Blaine, smiling easily.

"Hi," I mumbled. "What are you doing here?"

"Looking up a monologue for drama," said Blaine. "I saw you over here so I thought I'd come say hi."

"Well you didn't do what you came here for," I commented. _Why are you treating him like an old friend? Why are you making jokes? For all you know he's using everything you say against you! _I sunk a little bit deeper in my chair to make myself seem smaller. I didn't really care how weak it made me seem.

"You're right, I didn't," said Blaine, grinning widely. "In that case, hi. So now that I've done what I came here to do, I'll leave you be."

"Bye," I mumbled.

"Hey, is that the write up?" asked Blaine.

I nodded. _I thought you were leaving._

"How's it coming along?"

"Well enough, I guess," I mumbled.

"I haven't started mine yet. How long do you think yours will end up being?"

I shrugged. "I don't know."

"Well, when you do can you let me know? I don't want to have my own too long or too short."

I nodded. "Ok."

"Great, thanks. See you later Kurt," said Blaine, who then walked away drumming a beat on his side.

I was about to get back to work when I noticed one of the pages fall loosely to the floor. Blaine didn't notice and he kept walking. I stared at it for a few moments playing with my lip. Blaine hadn't come back to get it so he must not have noticed it falling out. I wasn't sure what it was but it could have been important. So against my better judgement, I slowly got up and picked it up.

The first thing I noticed was that there was either poetry or song lyrics written down.

The second thing I noticed was a list of what looked like possible monologues.

Obviously then, this page had some value to Blaine.

_Come across you lost and broken_

_You're coming to but you're slow in waking_

_You start to shake._

_You still haven't spoken, what happened_

_They're coming back and you just don't know when_

_You want to cry but there's nothing comin'_

_They're gonna push until you give in, say when_

There was a list of about seven monologues written down as well. The one circled was _Seth – That Was Then _by Kellie Powell. I briefly considered looking it up but decided against it. It didn't matter to me what monologue Blaine chose. Even though most people chose monologues they could relate to, I didn't feel the need to look it up.

I read through the lyrics just because I could, and frowned. What was that about? My first thought was that it was about me, but why would Blaine be writing something about me? I read it a few more times. It could be about a lot, but I thought it was about me. Maybe it was just a coincidence that the lyrics or poetry were so close to what I was feeling.

I shook my head to clear it and put the notebook in my binder. Then I continued to work until the bell rang. I'd just give Blaine the page in music.

I had a feeling I did well on the pop quiz we had in French. I had no issues with it. It was simple enough for me, though I noticed many of the others in the class scratching their heads and trying not to fail. I did my best, whether that was good enough or not, I didn't know. We then moved on to start a new novel. I thought the class would be easy enough for a little while until I opened the first page. It definitely wasn't a beginner's book like the ones they made us read at McKinley.

Blaine smiled as I sat down next to him in music. Wes and David greeted me before turning to each other and discussing songs.

"Um, you dropped this in the library," I said quietly, fishing out the page Blaine had dropped from my binder.

Blaine took it with furrowed eyebrows and glanced over it. He suddenly turned bright red and looked away embarrassedly. "Thanks," he mumbled, stuffing it in his binder quickly.

Wes smirked. "What's that there Blaine?"

"Nothing," Blaine said quickly.

"Sure it isn't," Wes said, reaching over and plucking it from the binder. Wes looked at it quickly and laughed. "Oh Blainers..." he said. "They're lovely lyrics. I wonder what – or rather _who _ – they could be about."

Blaine bit his lip and stared stubbornly down at the table. Wes chuckled and passed the paper back to him. He shoved it back into his binder and turned to face Mrs. Daniels who had begun the lesson.

Mrs. Daniels continued her lesson on chords and told us we'd be having a quiz Monday. I was fine with chords but decided it'd be a good idea to study anyways. I didn't know what her tests were like so it was better to be safe than sorry.

Wes and David kept discussing song choices. I wasn't sure why they were so worried about them, it wasn't like there was a competition coming up or anything.

But some of the songs they mentioned... I kind of wanted to sing them.

But I wouldn't. No, my voice was too girly. Too 'gay'.

That still didn't stop a small grain of want – or was it need? – to plant itself in my heart.

* * *

><p>I knocked hesitantly on the door. It was four o'clock on the nose and I was absolutely terrified. It was time to begin the testing process, even though I still didn't quite know how to do that. I had been in my dorm pacing a hole in the floor ever since class ended.<p>

"Come on in Kurt!" I heard Blaine call. "I promise I'm not changing this time!"

Well that was... relieving?

I opened the door nervously and looked through the crack of the door. Blaine gestured me inside. I took a deep breath. _Now or never_, I thought. I took a tentative step into his room. More followed and next thing I knew, I was standing in front of Blaine.

"Hey," Blaine said, smiling shyly with a faint blush covering his cheeks.

He'd never acted like that around me before. Was it a sign? Was something going to happen? Was there someone hiding in the closet ready to shoot me with a paintball gun? Or was he nervous like I was? But why would he be nervous?

"Hello," I whispered carefully.

"So! Movie time? Or Physics." suggested Blaine.

"We could start with the movie, I guess," I replied.

"Great!" he said happily. Blaine gestured to the bed which he was sitting on. "You can get comfortable there. I'll set up the movie and bring out the snacks I got for us."

"Um... Okay," I said, sitting gingerly once Blaine had gotten up and placed my schoolwork gently on the floor. _When in the world did he have time to get snacks?_ I thought incredulously.

Blaine placed a laptop on his bed and opened up the DVD case for the first Harry Potter movie. He put the disk in the machine and opened Windows Media Player. The screen began to show trailers but I didn't watch them. I eyed Blaine carefully as he moved around his room.

"Sorry it's just a laptop. I don't have a TV in here," explained Blaine, shrugging one shoulder as he opened one of his desk drawers pulling out four bags of chips and candy. "So I wasn't sure what you liked so I just got a lot. If we don't eat everything, I have no issues saving it for later. Unless Wes and David find it. In that case it'll be gone in minutes," Blaine joked. When I didn't laugh, he cleared his throat and laid down next to me. "I was thinking of putting it at the end of the bed, so do you want to lie down?"

I bit my lip and carefully moved myself so I was lying on my stomach next to him. We were pressed right up against each other so I quickly moved over. There was plenty of room on the double bed after all.

Blaine noticed immediately the distance I placed between us. He furrowed his brows before moving a few inches away from me. I wasn't quite sure the reason – did he notice my placed distance and want to make me comfortable? Did he think I was too gay to be close to? – but I tried to appreciate the gesture. It was difficult though with all the negative thoughts running through my head.

"Do you want to open a bag or two of chips now or...?"

I shrugged. "Whatever's fine."

Blaine nodded and reached down beside him. "Well Warblers practice always makes me hungry," he said. "What kind do you want?"

"It doesn't matter."

Blaine gave me a long look. "I'm going to take a guess here. Do you like Veggie Sticks?"

I nodded slowly. _How did he guess that? Did someone tell him? Did – Stop it. Don't jump to conclusions,_ I thought.

He grinned and passed me a large bag. "Then here you are! I've always been good at guessing favorite chip flavoring. You looked like a Veggie Sticks kind of guy."

Wait – are they your favorite? If they aren't well... Whatever. I'm good at guessing coffee orders too," he commented.

"So you bought a bag for my taste buds' enjoyment?" I asked, opening the bag and hearing the air rush out.

"And my own," said Blaine, plucking one from the bag and putting it in his mouth. "Can I guess your coffee order?"

"Sure," I said slowly.

Blaine looked thoughtful for a moment. "Is it a Caramel Macchiato?" he asked.

I shook my head. My nose wrinkled automatically. I'd tried one before and it was much too sweet for my liking. "No. Most definitely not."

"Damn," muttered Blaine. "What is it?"

"That's not for me to tell," I said. There was no reason for him to know such a personal detail. Maybe it wasn't _that_ personal, but he still didn't need to know.

"I'll figure it out," promised Blaine. "Mine is a Medium Drip, in case you're wondering. Is yours a Cinnamon Dolce Latte?"

I shook my head. "You won't guess it."

"Sure I will!" he said determinedly. He guessed a few more, all which were not my Grande Non-Fat Mocha.

Blaine sighed. "Fine. I'll google Starbucks and find out what it is. And when I do find out, I'm taking you out for a coffee."

"Wait- What?" I asked.

"Think of it as... a prize."

"It's you guessing mine," I pointed out.

"But the prize is spending time with you!" said Blaine. He suddenly realized what he said and blushed. "I... I just like buying people coffee?"

I nodded slowly, uncertainly. Why would he want to spend time with me? Was he taking me away from the school to attack me and get something from his friends? It was the only _logical_ answer. And it would happen as soon as he figured out my coffee order. Unless of course I made excuses to get away.

Maybe he would figure it out, but for now, he hadn't, which meant I was safe.

Blaine shot me a smile and pressed play on his computer.

* * *

><p>"So, what did you think?" asked Blaine as the credits began to roll.<p>

"It was good, I guess," I mumbled.

It was. The acting was well done, especially for how old the majority of the actors and actresses were. It wasn't as good as the books, of course, but it was still a good movie. There were parts missed, but then again it was obvious they wouldn't have been able to put in every detail. I rather did like how they did it though. Especially the three challenges. And Quidditch. I really liked Quidditch. Not that I'd _ever_ play it. I really did enjoy the movie, but I didn't necessarily enjoy watching it.

As the movie got farther in, Blaine began to shuffle closer to me under what I thought was the pretense of wanting Veggie Sticks. Not much, only fractions at a time. But it was enough so that now, he was pressed against my side. I wasn't able to move over unless I wanted to fall off the bed. I could feel his warmth seep into my skin. His scent, unlike before, made me nervous and made my heart start to pound. I had felt myself begin to feel increasingly uncomfortable as the movie played on, as he moved closer. Now all I wanted was to go back to my room. The movie was definitely enough for me today.

"That's it?" asked Blaine, looking at me incredulously. "No rant about missing parts? Bad casting choices? Good casting choices? Special effects commentary?"

I shrugged and looked down at my hands. I may have had comments, but I didn't want to say them out loud. My opinion didn't matter that much. _Please move over..._

"Okay then," Blaine breathed out. "Well... Would you want to watch the second when you're done the book?"

"Maybe," I mumbled, trying to shuffle just a fraction away from him without falling off the bed. But that didn't work out and I landed on the floor with a loud thump.

"Kurt!" Blaine exclaimed, jumping off the bed and rushing next to me.

I felt myself flush embarrassedly and I sat up. I leaned on Blaine's bed and said boy dashed next to me.

"Are you okay? Crap, I'm so sorry, I was giving you no room. Do you feel like you have a concussion? Do you need ice? I have band aids in the bathroom!" Blaine then began to touch me – my face, my arms, my legs. I didn't like it.

"I-I'm fine," I stuttered, moving a good two feet over as quickly as I could.

"I'm sorry," mumbled Blaine, sitting back. "I keep forgetting you don't like to be touched. Are you sure you're okay? Do you need me to get you anything?"

I shook my head, not meeting his eyes.

"Okay," Blaine sighed. "But if you do, don't hesitate to say something."

I glanced up at him quickly, but not quickly enough that I missed his concern-filled eyes. "Ok," I whispered.

"So... Do you want to get started on Physics or...?" asked Blaine.

I nodded. I had said I would let him help me today. I took my Physics notes out. I explained softly what parts I was having troubles with, which was almost everything we'd done since the tutoring ended and a few things before that.

Blaine looked them over quickly and nodded. "Okay. Let's just move to my desk and we can work there," he said. Blaine handed me back the notebook and went over to clear the desk of his own schoolwork.

I stood awkwardly behind him until he was finished. Blaine gestured for me to take the chair, which I did after some hesitation. Blaine pulled out a pencil and began to explain.

I listened to him with as much attention as I could muster. It was difficult, but a few things started to become clearer to me. Blaine wrote out questions in his neat yet masculine writing and I did my best to try and solve them. It was going well, until he began to move closer to me again.

"...And then you want to divide and there's your answer," said Blaine softly in my ear, his breath sending shivers down my spine. I couldn't tell if they were good or bad shivers.

I decided to shuffle my chair back a bit to try and get Blaine to move back, but he was oblivious and didn't move. So then I moved my chair forwards in an attempt to give myself some breathing room but Blaine shuffled closer. My heart began to pound harder and I could feel myself beginning to hyperventilate. I was trapped. I couldn't move back or forwards, and Blaine was standing right over me. It was too much like that night. I began to tremble. I couldn't take it.

I got up and bolted from the room, not looking back.

There was only so much I could take at once.

When I got to my room I quickly shut and locked the door before I curled in a ball and had memories of McKinley wash over me.

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><p><em>I was walking down the hall, passing anyone who was in my path quickly. Suddenly I was shoved hard causing me to tumble to the ground.<em>

"_Nice one Azimio!" laughs a jock as the group passes by._

_Braden, coming from the other direction, sees me on the ground. "Hey man, there's no need to do that," he said, slapping him on the shoulder. "He did nothing wrong."_

"_He's a fag and he needs to learn his place," Azimio replied._

"_Just... lay off him okay?"_

"_Just because you're a good player doesn't mean you can order us around," said Azimio, standing tall and crossing his arms._

"_What if one of the teachers see? You'll get kicked off the team," pointed out Braden._

"_Man, the teachers don't care shit about the fag," said another player._

"_Coach Sylvester does, doesn't she? I'm pretty sure you'll be ripped to shreds if you hurt her precious... what does she call him... Porcelain?" asked Braden._

_The jocks behind Azimio shuffled uncomfortably. But Azimio wasn't so scared. "Whatever man," he said, before continuing to lead the jocks down the hall._

_Braden watched after them for a few moments before he walked towards me. I was just finishing gathering my books when a hand came into my vision. "Need a hand?" asked Braden, looking down on me. His eyes were gentle with a little bit of something else, something mysterious, hidden around the edges._

"_Sure," I said blushing. I took his hand and he helped pull me up. "Thank you. You really didn't need to do that."_

"_Help you up or tell the team they're being complete jackasses?" he asked with a smirk._

"_Both, I guess," I said, giggling nervously as I noticed he hadn't let go of my hand. "It's only going to make things more difficult for you."_

_Braden shrugged. "What's done is done. Besides, I can't just let them abuse such a sexy specimen," he said, putting my hand to his mouth and kissing it gently._

_My heart stuttered and I could feel my cheeks begin to blush bright red. I wasn't... what he said. That was ridiculous. And his lips were soft. Really soft. I wondered what it'd be like to have them – No. Don't go there. Don't have another Finn situation. But this time he was _actually_ flirting. He was flirting right? Of course he was! It's like what happens in romantic comedies! That means he's gay!_

"_I'll see you around Kurt," said Braden, letting go of my hand and walking away._

_I could feel a huge grin on my face as I walked to my next class. Kurt Hummel had a gorgeous, GAY, male showing interest. I felt like I was on Cloud 9. And I stayed that way for the rest of the day._

* * *

><p>More memories – all which were <em>so<em> much worse than the first – which happened before I knew the rest – passed through my mind before I got a hold of myself and calmed down.

I had pushed myself too much by spending so much time alone with Blaine at once. The movie itself was more than enough. Physics with it was pushing it.

I could hear knocking on my door. Knowing it was Blaine, I got up and slowly opened the door.

"...Kurt?" Blaine asked, confusion showing clearly on his face. "Are you okay? Did you feel strange after falling? Or-"

"Fine," I mumbled. "I just got overwhelmed."

Blaine nodded understandably. _Like he knew anything about what was going on with me._ "Okay. Well... Do you want to go back to Physics? If you just want to relax that's totally fine. But if you do want to go back then that's cool. It's completely your choice. I mean, if you feel more comfortable staying on your own until it's time to work on the project then that's fine but I'm rambling and just repeating myself so now I'll stop. Sorry," he finished, a faint blush covering his cheeks.

I crossed my arms over my chest in a way to cover myself – not that I had anything on my exterior to hide. "I'll just stay in here for a while," I mumbled.

Blaine nodded. "That's fine. Definitely. Don't worry. Do you need something? Can I get you anything?"

I shook my head. "No thank you," I whispered.

Blaine nodded. "Okay. And sorry. I think I was too close again. I have a bad habit for getting in people's spaces. I have no personal bubble so I kind of treat everyone the same even though they might need a lot more space than me. I'll try to remember not to get too close to you but... we'll see. It might not work out. If I am you can always elbow me. Or yell. Or stomp on my foot. Whatever is good," Blaine opened his mouth to say more but he closed it. "Sorry. Rambling."

"It's fine," I said.

"So... I'll be in my room? And you'll be here?"

I nodded.

"Okay. Well see you. Sorry Kurt," said Blaine before turning and walking back to his dorm.

I went back and laid in my bed after relocking the door.

I felt my phone vibrate beside me so I pulled it out.

_I'm sorry – Mercedes _

_I know. You've said that. But are you really? – Kurt_

_I only told Rachel. I was trying to help. Maybe she'd make sure you were more careful with Blaine, or that she'd offer you support. I had no idea she would tell Finn and Puck and I definitely didn't plan them reacting like that. – Mercedes_

_You didn't only tell Rachel. Quinn said you told the whole club. – Kurt_

_I'm sorry – Mercedes_

_I trusted you. I can't forgive you right now. – Kurt_

I put my phone on silent and ignored what I knew would be stream of texts from my... friend. I wouldn't be talking to her for a little while. How would I know when she wouldn't repeat things that came out of my mouth? What I needed was for someone to give me an unbiased advice on what to do with my problems and keep everything in confidentiality. There weren't many people, or places, I could go to.

A teacher could work, but I wasn't sure if I should get advice about Blaine from them. He was a well-known and well respected student in the school so for that, their opinion would be biased. But maybe they had suggestions about other problems I'd been having. But then again, most of my problems were about Blaine.

For now, I'd stick with Quinn, Tina and Britt. I decided to text Quinn. I wasn't quite in the mood to hear about how amazing Mike was – which always came up in a conversation with Tina – nor did I have the energy to try and decipher what Brittney was saying. Plus, she'd most likely be with Santana.

_Hey – Kurt_

_Hey! How are things? – Quinn_

_So so. You? – Kurt_

_They've been fine. Have you been trying to test Blaine's trustworthiness? – Quinn_

_I just came back from watching a movie in his dorm... – Kurt_

_Ooh! And? What happened? Did it go well? – Quinn_

_I don't know if it went well. – Kurt_

_Aw :( Tell me more – Quinn_

_He kept moving closer during the movie. – Kurt_

_Aw! That's sweet! – Quinn_

_Not when you don't like being touched and definitely not when it gets to a point where you fall off the bed. – Kurt_

_Yikes... Did he apologize at least? – Quinn_

_He kept asking if I was okay. – Kurt_

_Then it's not that bad. – Quinn_

_He's trying to guess my coffee order – Kurt_

_O...kay? Is that bad? – Quinn_

_Yes. I think so. I don't know. – Kurt_

_Why would it be bad? – Quinn_

_He said he wants to take me out when he guesses it correctly. It's like a prize – Kurt_

_How would that be a prize? – Quinn_

_Because he's spending time with me or something like that – Kurt_

_That's really sweet actually :) – Quinn_

_But why does he WANT to spend time with me? – Kurt_

_Kurt you're amazing. I love you and I'd love to spend more time but it's hard when you're an hour and a half away. – Quinn_

_But what if he wants to spend time with me for some bet? What if he's going to lure me somewhere so he can attack me without any Dalton staff knowing? They wouldn't be able to do anything about it since it wouldn't be on the grounds. Or what if he's just pretending to befriend me before throwing hate slurs at me? – Kurt_

Quinn's reply came a few minutes later.

_But Kurt... What if he does just want to spend time with you outside of Dalton? Not for a bet, but because he likes you. Not necessarily as a boyfriend – since you say he's not gay – but as a friend. He likes you a lot from what I could tell at Sectionals. And plus, not many people would keep trying to become your friend at this point unless they honestly wanted to get to know you. I get that you're nervous and that you're thinking the worst. You have reason to. But take things as they come. Maybe he won't guess your order. Just do your best and I'm always here if you need someone. – Quinn_

_Thank you Quinn. I... I am trying. I try and push the negativity away but... – Kurt_

_Sometimes you can't. But the fact that you're trying is a huge difference than before. – Quinn_

_I still feel the same – Kurt_

_You might, but you ARE getting better. I mean, you push it away sometimes right? – Quinn_

_Yeah... – Kurt_

_Then that's a HUGE improvement. – Quinn_

_Listen, I need to go. I'm here for you though ok? And I won't tell anyone about this. In fact I'll delete the texts off my phone. – Quinn_

_Thank you Quinn. Bye – Kurt_

_Love you. Keep trying – Quinn_

I put my phone down on my chest and sighed. Another text came through.

_Hey, Wes and David came a little early. Is it okay if you meet us down in the library? – Blaine_

_And are you sure you're okay? – Blaine_

_I'll leave in a few minutes – Kurt_

I got out of bed and moved to where I had my stash of granola bars. I didn't eat many chips so I was rather hungry. I finished it, took my books and headed to the library. I wasn't sure I had mentally prepared myself enough, but I didn't have much choice.

It had been a long – and still incomplete – day. And I still had another left.

* * *

><p><strong>I suggest you read the monologue Blaine chose. It very much relates to his past. Of course, Kurt never read it so he doesn't know anything. <strong>

**http:/ notmyshoes . net / monologues / seth . html**

**So I need your opinion on how to continue this story. I could skip ahead a couple weeks to the next major plot point and do some flashbacks of the more important things that happened between now and when I jump to. It would be less filler-y which would make things easier for me. OR I could continue on in chronological order with lots of filler stuff. I've set up a poll on my profile for you to vote.**

**The lyrics are from the song Say When by The Fray. Thank you ****connellymack**** for the song and for the tumblr background :) **

**Coldarseniclove**** was the 200****th**** person to review. That's... wow. Thank you to everyone who helped me get to that number. You are all amazing! :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Okay I didn't realise I hadn't updated this long until now. Apologies. But hopefully you'll like the chapter and all will be forgiven.  
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**Skipping ahead won by a large number of votes. The few of you that wanted chronological order... sorry. I give the majority what they want.  
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**It kind of jumps time a lot but the lines will tell you when that happens.  
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**I own nothing.**

**Enjoy!  
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><p><strong>Chapter 12<strong>

I began getting more used to being inside Dalton's walls. Routines continued to establish themselves and I was slowly but surely getting used to being around others, though I was still as much as a hermit as I was before. The only times I was with students outside of class was when I was working on the project, or when I was being tutored.

Blaine tutoring me in Physics was already doing wonders on my comprehension of the subject. The massive exam we had, though I hadn't received my mark, went a lot better than I expected. I could also tell Blaine was trying his hardest to give me my space. Sometimes he would forget, but my reactions were a lot less dramatic than they were before. Around Blaine, I was... comfortable. I didn't trust him, but I could be around him without being too scared.

We had our own little routine, Blaine and I. Every morning in Literature, he would take one guess at my coffee order. The fear of him actually guessing it correctly was always there, but oftentimes it was overshadowed by my amusement of his ridiculous guesses. I would always make up some excuse for not eating lunch with him as we left the class. When lunch came, I would sit on my own in my room to recollect myself. In Music, I was a lot more reserved, quiet. After school I would return back to my room until it was time for Blaine's tutoring session in the library which would be followed by Wes and David joining us to work on our project.

Wes and David would often be found discussing Warblers, song choices and music in general in breaks when working, sometimes dragging Blaine in. The amount of passion they had for it brought back many memories, good memories mostly, of my time with New Directions. I guess you could say I _wanted_ to sing again. But I was scared. My voice was too feminine. It was too gay. No one wants to hear a voice like that. Because of that, there was no chance that I'd be auditioning anytime soon. Even then, I still felt some need to get back to the thing I loved most of all at McKinley.

* * *

><p>"<em>Pretty pretty please, won't you ever ever eat, lunch with me, oh please kurtie. I really really want, you to eat lunch with me, please please please Kurt<em>-"

I slapped a hand over his mouth. "_What are you doing_?" I whisperedfrantically.

"I'm convincing you to eat lunch with me the way Pink would?" Blaine said once my hand was removed.

I shook my head, my eyes darting around at a rapid pace. A few students were giving us amused looks. None were hateful, but their stares still made me nervous.

"I rearranged the rapping if that'd convince you," suggested Blaine.

"No!" I squeaked nervously. I could feel my face heat up like an open fire near gasoline

Blaine opened his mouth and began to take a deep breath and I could just _tell_ he was about to start singing so I stopped him the only way I could. "Fine," I said quickly.

Blaine paused in his breathing. "Fine?"

"Fine I-I'll eat lunch with you," I mumbled awkwardly. "Just _please _don't start singing again!"

Blaine smiled happily. "Awesome! And I promise I won't. Where do you want to meet? I can pick you up from your dorm maybe?"

"Um, yeah sure," I mumbled. "It doesn't matter."

"Cool! Then I'll head over there right after class," said Blaine. Just as I was turning away, he stopped me by gently placing a hand on my upper arm. "And Kurt? I'm sorry about the song, if it made you uncomfortable. It probably wasn't the smartest thing to do." He gave me one last smile before heading in the direction of his next class.

I finished my walk to Home Economics with a confused head. Blaine had definitely blackmailed me into eating with him, something I was less than pleased about. But he seemed to know he was in the wrong. I didn't know whether it was a good thing he had noticed his mistake or a bad thing that he knew he'd make me uncomfortable, so I decided to keep my guard up more so than usual.

Before I knew it, the bell rang for lunch. I went straight over to my dorm, knowing putting off meeting Blaine wouldn't do any good. He'd wait for me anyways and then only ask questions as to why I was late. When I turned down the hallway to my dorm, I saw him knocking on my dorm. He was just taking out his phone when I nervously tapped him on the shoulder.

He jumped, dropping his phone and books. "Kurt!" he exclaimed embarrassedly. "You scared me!" He knelt down and began to gather his books.

"Sorry," I apologized, squatting down beside him and helping him out. I handed him over my pile and he smiled gratefully.

"Thanks," he said. "Do you need anything from your dorm or can we go down?"

"I'm just going to drop off some things," I said. I unlocked my door and slipped through. Blaine, thankfully, decided to wait patiently outside my room.

I gathered the books I needed for after lunch and took a deep, not quite calming enough, breath.

"I have everything," I said to Blaine once I left my room.

"Awesome!" he said happily. "So I was thinking we could go get our food from the cafeteria and then maybe eat in the auditorium. It'll be private and you don't need to worry-"

"No," I said quickly.

He looked at me confusedly. "No? What do you mean?"

"I don't want to go with you somewhere- somewhere private," I stuttered. I closed my eyes tightly and forced the flashback that was looming over me to the back of my mind. But then it came stronger and _that night_ started replaying itself.

I didn't know I was at Dalton. I had no idea it was Blaine I was with. I thought in my mind that I was there, with _them_. The force of the flashback was terrifying.

"Kurt, are you okay?" an echo asked.

I must have been shaking my head, I didn't quite know, because next thing I knew my head was resting against something firm and warm and a voice was singing quietly in my ear.

_No more talk of darkness_

_Forget these wide-eyed fears_

_I'm here, nothing can harm you_

_My words will warm and calm you_

_Let me be your freedom_

_Let daylight dry your tears_

_I'm here, with you, beside you_

_To guard you and to guide you_

"I-I'm o-okay," I stuttered, backing away, once I came back to reality. "I-I'm fi-fine." I realized there were tears leaking out of the corners of my eyes so I quickly wiped them away.

"Kurt you're shaking. I'm pretty sure that's a sign that you're not okay. I don't think... Maybe lunch was a bad idea..." Blaine kept reaching out towards me then stopping himself. He bit his lip and looked down. "I'm sorry. Maybe we can do this another time... You should probably lie down or something."

"No," I said, before my brain caught up. "W-We can do it today. J-Just can we not g-go somewhere priv-private? Th-The dining hall w-would work i-if we sat al-alone." _What am I saying? Why am I not backing out when I have a chance?_

Blaine opened his mouth before closing it and nodding. "Okay." He began to walk towards the lunch dining hall, and I followed with shaky steps.

"Kurt... I hate to ask," began Blaine. "But I left something in the auditorium. That's why I suggested eating there. Do you mind if we take a stop there first before heading over to lunch?"

"I-I... U-Um... I-I don't-"

Blaine nodded. "It's fine. I'll get it later."

"W-We c-can I g-guess," my mouth said. _What are you doing?_

"Are you sure Kurt? I don't want you to feel uncomfortable," Blaine said. "I can get it before class."

I gathered up the small amount of courage I had and looked him straight in the eyes. What I saw was not what I expected. Honesty. Genuineness. Sincerity. Truthfulness. Goodness. The amount of... of _trustworthiness_ that was present in Blaine's deep hazel eyes... The eyes that let me see into the deepest parts of his soul... That was not something that could be faked.

So I nodded.

Blaine gave me a shy smile and we began to walk in the direction of the auditorium. I could feel myself begin to shake as we neared. Blaine walked towards a door that I'd never been through and opened it. "Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked. I nodded nervously. Now was as good a time to test him as any. He held it open wider and allowed me to pass through before coming in behind me.

"Thank you," I whispered.

He gave me an easy smile. "It's no problem."

I looked around and almost gasped. We were facing the stage and the enormity of it astounded me. It really was an amazing theatre. From where I was standing, I could see everywhere clearly, and there was no one hiding between seats. I couldn't see the sides of the stage, but I had a feeling it'd be as empty as the rows. And there, slightly on the right of the stage, was the piano.

"Pretty amazing huh?" asked Blaine beside me.

I hadn't realized I had been gazing around with such an awe-struck expression until he spoke. I tore my eyes away and looked at him. "Yeah, it's really something."

"That offer I made a while back, about singing onstage? It's still up for grabs."

I shook my head. "I... I don't think so." Maybe Blaine noticed the hesitance. He probably did. But he didn't say anything about it.

"Well, it's always here if you decide to," said Blaine.

"You don't need special permission?"

"Well..." Blaine hesitated. "You're _supposed _to. But it's not really monitored and the doors are almost always unlocked. Hardly anyone comes in. But I mean... I've come here so many times on my own I've lost count. Teachers have actually walked in on me and they simply smiled or clapped or something. So you should but it doesn't really matter. When it's big groups, like the Warblers for example, we need to get permission and it's kind of annoying trying to get it so we only try and get it the week before competitions. Other than that it pretty much stays unlocked."

_So I could come in here alone then_, I thought to myself.

"Why'd you ask? Are you considering?" asked Blaine curiously.

"I- No, of course not. It's just so _big_ and you just walked in so I was curious whether-"

"Kurt, relax," Blaine said chuckling slightly. "I get it."

I nodded and looked away. We began to walk down the steps towards the front of the auditorium. I walked a few steps behind Blaine, keeping my eyes out for anything suspicious. When we reached the front, Blaine turned. I noticed a folder lying under a seat about halfway down. When Blaine caught sight of it, he walked a little bit quicker.

"It's my music folder for Warblers," he explained to me. "I left it here by accident in drama."

"Oh," I said quietly.

Blaine picked it up and placed it between two his binder and a textbook. "Well, I'm done here. We can go eat. Unless you want to look around on stage, that is."

"No," I said softly, shaking my head. "We can leave."

Blaine nodded and led us back up the stairs.

The dining hall was rather full when we got there. We placed ourselves in line and waited until it was our turn to be served. Because of the detour we had taken, the line was rather long. Blaine began a mostly one-sided conversation about his drama class which I listened to with some interest.

Once we had gotten our meals, we headed towards the section with all the tables. A large, seemingly popular group called Blaine over but he ignored them. Instead he led me over to a small table, just big enough for two people, in a semi-private part of the cafeteria. I could feel the eyes of the group drilling into my back. I shuffled uncomfortably before sitting down on one of the chairs, putting my tray gently on the table.

"So... um, are your bruises doing better?" I asked nervously.

Blaine nodded. "Yeah, much better, thanks," he said. "Are those two generally that violent or...?"

"Puck is, I guess," I said. "He was one of my regular tor... He's- He doesn't hesitate to use his strength." By the way Blaine's eyebrows furrowed and the way his eyes looked horrified, I was sure he could figure out what I was going to say. I braced myself for the questions I knew were going to come.

"That's probably not very good. With an attitude like that, he could end up in juvie," commented Blaine.

I was taken aback. Why wasn't he asking questions? Anyone else would. I was sure he wanted to know, just like I was sure he'd figured out Puck and I's previous relationship. "Um... H-He has," I mumbled.

Blaine's eyebrows jumped in surprise. "What'd he do?"

"He somehow managed to drive his mom's Volvo into a convenience store and left with the ATM."

Blaine looked at me like I was insane. "How? What? Ho- I'm so confused," he said, dropping his forehead onto the table.

I winced slightly at the sound then stared at him confusedly. "A-Are you okay?"

"No, that's like, impossible!" Blaine exclaimed, jolting his torso into perfect posture. "They're bolted down to the floor. You _can't_ just _take one_!"

"And how do you know that? Is there a story you'd like to tell?" I asked playfully before I stomped on my own foot.

Blaine laughed. "Well..." he began, before he laughed again and shook his head. "No I'm kidding. My dad runs a banking company and I've seen them install the machines."

"Um, what- what bank?" I asked, trying to lead the conversation to something about him.

"It uh, it doesn't matter," Blaine mumbled. Maybe I'd push another time, but Blaine never pushed when I didn't feel comfortable discussing something. So I dropped the subject and took a bite of my lunch.

"So I was talking to Nick the other day, the Nick in music and in your history class?" Blaine said. I nodded. "They've only just started their project and they have everything planned out to get finished right on time. Wes is going way overboard with us. I'd confront him, but I don't care that much," said Blaine. "We'll probably end up being done early which is nice."

I nodded in agreement. "Yeah I guess. We'll probably get a good mark too, for putting in so much work," I added.

"That's true," said Blaine. "So, Wes, David and I were talking and we were thinking of having a musical marathon before Christmas. We mentioned the idea earlier I think. I mean, we could always google 'the greatest musicals' but we thought it'd be fun to just watch some ourselves. Would you want to come?"

"I... I don't know," I stuttered.

"It's fine. Think about it," said Blaine. "It'd be at my place and my parents would be away so it'd just be the four of us. No one else."

"I- I'll think about it," I promised.

Blaine smiled. "Cool. So the other day I was driving to get some coffee and I almost hit a cat."

"You almost hit a cat."

Blaine nodded and then launched into a story of his trek to get a decent coffee. I listened attentively, finding it pointless, but amusing nonetheless.

* * *

><p>School had ended. I had nothing to do until later. Blaine was in Warblers rehearsal. I was alone.<p>

I walked into the auditorium, keeping my eyes wide open for anyone who was around. Maybe few people came in, but maybe the time I was here would be the time someone did.

I slowly moved out onto the stage. Once I was in the center, I paused and looked out. I could just imagine the stage lights on me, warming me, causing me to break a sweat as the New Directions and I did a complicated dance routine. I opened my mouth, as if I were to preparing to sing, took a deep breath and closed my eyes, then stopped.

I slowly put down the foot that had begun to rise in preparation for a dance step and closed my mouth. The imaginary heat disappeared and I stood alone on stage, no sign of anyone near both in reality and in my imagination.

I didn't want to sing. My voice was too high and unwanted.

In the corner of my eye, I saw the lone piano. I looked over at it, sitting quiet on the stage. Slowly, without thinking, I moved towards it.

The bench was angled slightly towards me, as if it wanted me to sit down. It may have been ridiculous, but it was as if I was being called to sit, and play something I remembered from the lessons I took from my mother.

There was a bang coming from out in the hall. I jumped and turned around to face the sound.

I was gone before I had a chance to realize that whoever was in the hallway probably wouldn't be coming in here.

* * *

><p>I went in the auditorium again a few days later. Once more, I didn't have the courage to sit at the piano, but I had moved a little bit closer. I stopped and stared at it before my feet slowly started to move me forward. I was only five feet away when I stopped again.<p>

This time I couldn't move forwards. I was scared of something. It might have been the chance that everything might be revealed. It might have been fear of becoming who I was again. It might have been fear of the possibility of someone walking in on me. So I went backwards and headed to my dorm.

* * *

><p>It was another few days before I built up the courage to get closer to the piano. I had been moving a little bit closer every day, but this was the first time I felt calm enough to sit at it.<p>

I sat at the piano nervously, my eyes continuously darting around for people who may or may not be around. I knew Blaine was in Warblers rehearsal so there was no need to worry about him, but maybe others would show up and would tell Blaine they saw me in here. And then Blaine would just ask me questions that I didn't want to answer as to why.

I placed my hands on the keys, ready in playing position, and stopped. I was certain no one was around, but I was still downright terrified to press a key on the piano.

I sat there for at least an hour, trying to build up the courage to press a key. By the time it was time to meet Blaine, it hadn't come.

* * *

><p>Slowly I'd been building up the strength to play. It started with a single key being pressed every few minutes, but it had built up to scales and simple songs that I'd learned to play just as I started piano.<p>

For some reason, the short melodies made me feel happy. Generally they bothered me, their simplicity making them a favorite of students to play, but when I played... I felt almost at home. I missed making music. I missed having it to express myself. But it was coming back to me and it felt so right.

* * *

><p>I hadn't realized as it happened, but it hit me like a bullet. Blaine was my friend. He was one of the best friend's I'd ever had. He could tell when and when not to push. He respected my wishes, respected me. Not once had he ever tried to force me into something I didn't want to do. He was considerate, kind. Not once had he ever insulted me, or tried to bring me down – aside from the times I assumed he was, but maybe they really were <em>just<em> assumptions.

I didn't quite trust him yet. I didn't feel comfortable going out with him in public. I didn't think I would for a long time. But I trusted him more than I trusted anyone else at Dalton.

I found myself slowly spending more time with him. We would more often than not have lunch together, though there were times when he was unable to make it, and times I got too nervous to go. We began to meet just a little bit earlier and spend some time talking or, in my case most of the time, listening.

It was nice, having a friend at Dalton.

* * *

><p>"Alright so I've corrected your physics exams," said the teacher, taking a stack of papers off of his desk.<p>

I sat up straighter. Here it was.

"The average wasn't as good as I would have liked, but I did see a huge improvement in some students' cases which more than made up for that," said the teacher. "Overall the class average was... 76 percent," he stated, after glancing down at a sheet of paper. "So. With that in mind, I'll begin passing out the exams. _Please_ do not start shouting out your marks like a bumbling group of idiots. At least wait until after class to do that." The teacher began to wander the aisles, dropping an exam on a student's desk every so often.

I studied their expressions carefully. Some students looked relieved at their mark. Some looked accepting. Others looked saddened at their result.

A paper dropped on my desk upside down, the teacher catching my eye and nodding.

_Here it goes_, I thought. _The final reveal._

Slowly, I began to turn over the page. My eyes scanned slowly looking for any red ink on the first page. But there wasn't any, aside from the corner which read my score.

_62/78 = 81 percent _

That couldn't be mine. But the name on the top read my own. The writing was my own. I stared back at the mark and a smile slowly spread across my face. I had passed. Above the class average. I put a hand over my mouth to hide the excited grin on my face, but I was sure my beaming eyes would give away that I had done well.

I left the class as the bell rang, handing back the test to the teacher. I wanted to call my dad and tell him the good news.

As I was heading up to the dorms, I saw Blaine standing in the hall, back facing me, near the library looking at his phone. My smile got a little bigger – though I'd deny it if I were asked – and I walked towards him. For some reason unknown to myself, I wrapped my arms around his stomach and pulled him into a hug.

He squeaked loudly and dropped his phone. I felt an awkward pat on my arm and I let go. He turned to face the attacker and I saw a surprised, but strangely relieved and joyful expression cross his face when he realized it was me who'd hugged him.

"Kurt!" he exclaimed. "What's with the sudden hug?"

"Thank you."

"For?"

"Your tutoring. We got back the exams," I clarified.

"Oh! How'd you do?" Blaine asked excitedly, giving me his complete attention.

"The class average was 76," I said slowly. "And I got an 81."

A huge smile made its way onto Blaine's face. "Kurt, that's- that's fantastic! Oh my- Wow! Congrats!" He suddenly pulled me into a tight hug, but I didn't try to move away from it.

I laughed and hugged him back just as tight. "Thank you," I said.

Blaine ended the hug, but put both his hands on my shoulders. "That's- Kurt I'm _so _proud of you," he said sincerely. "You've worked really hard to improve and the hard work is definitely starting to show its benefits."

My heart fluttered in my chest. I told myself it was simply more excitement from the exam. "Thank you," I repeated more nervous. "I- I should probably call my dad," I said, my smile slowly slipping off my face to form a contented expression.

"Yeah- Of course," said Blaine, nodding in agreement. "That's really amazing Kurt. Call him. I'll see you later."

"Okay," I said, nodding back.

"Wait," said Blaine as I began to turn. "You've finished the second Harry Potter book right?" He waited for my nod before continuing. "Why don't we watch that instead? We can obviously skip a day of tutoring with that mark."

I bit my lip and then nodded. "Yeah. That'd work."

Blaine grinned. "Great. I'll meet you in my dorm then."

"Sounds good," I said, before turning and hurrying to my dorm.

* * *

><p>"I don't really have any food like last time," said Blaine as he opened his dorm room door for me. "Well, unless you want bagels that have been expired a week."<p>

I wrinkled my nose. "I- No thank you. I'm not particularly hungry."

Blaine shrugged and led me into his room. I sat on the bed and watched as he moved around his dorm room. He put the DVD into his laptop and waited a moment as it loaded. He then opened a cupboard of his night table and took out a half-empty bag of bagels.

"They were in the freezer a while so they should be okay to eat," he said. I watched as he opened the bag and carefully took one out. He stared at it for a few moments with a disgusted look on his face, before asking, "Are you sure you don't want it?"

I shook my head. "I- No. I'm positive I don't want it," I said, staring at the mold-covered bagel with disgust.

"Well, there goes my food source," said Blaine. He dropped the bag into the garbage and sat next to me, pressing play.

* * *

><p>"Grande Non-Fat Mocha?"<p>

"What?" I asked, turning to Blaine as I sat in Literature that morning.

"Your coffee order. Is it a Grande Non-Fat Mocha?" Blaine asked.

A stone dropped in my stomach. "I-I um-"

"Is it?" Blaine asked, leaning towards me, excitement pricking in his eyes.

My jaw couldn't form words. He'd figured it out. He'd figured it out and now he was going to take me to the middle of nowhere under pretense of taking me to coffee and have his friends beat me up.

"Did I get it right?" he asked again.

I gave a miniscule nod, hoping Blaine wouldn't pick it up. But he did.

"Seriously?" he exclaimed, jumping in his seat and facing the front, before swivelling back to face me. "That's awesome! When- When do you want to go? We could go after school tomorrow? We could skip out on tutoring for one day as a congratulations for your physics test!"

"I thought my congratulations was watching a movie?" I said with faux-confusion. I'd do anything to get out of coffee at the moment.

"You get two congrats days," said Blaine. "Then we can get back to work on Monday."

"I'm heading home for the weekend," I said, trying to think of a way to get out of the coffee outing. "And I have to be home as soon as I can. We have plans," I added, thinking of the Friday night dinner I didn't want to miss.

"Oh," said Blaine looking disappointed. "Well... What about tomorrow morning then?"

I thought for a moment before carefully nodding. I guess I _had_ promised him I would go out with him as soon as he figured out my order. "Okay." Plus, this way we had a specific time limit.

"Awesome!" said Blaine excitedly. "Cool! I know a good place we could go to."

"Great," I said, not completely thrilled.

"I hear their mochas are exceptional," Blaine chirped.

I sighed and nodded. The bell rang so I turned to face the front. I could see Blaine's shoulders drop slightly in the corner of my eye. He stared at me for a few more moments before turning and paying attention to Mr. Adams' lesson.

Blaine may have been my friend, but I didn't think I trusted him enough to go out in public with him.

"Where are we getting coffee?" I whispered as we began to work on a set of questions.

"Um, a place called the Lima Bean," said Blaine. "It's a little far but they have the best coffee. It's worth the sacrifice."

I knew the place. That was the New Directions' preferred coffee shop. I had an idea to give me a little bit more safety when we went out. Once the class ended, I took out my phone to text Quinn.

_Hey, are you free tomorrow morning? – Kurt_

_Sure, why? – Quinn_

_Can you go to the Lima Bean? – Kurt_

_Me and the girls were planning on going, so definitely! – Quinn_

_I need your help. – Kurt_

_With? – Quinn_

_Blaine... I told you he was guessing my coffee order right? Well he got it right so now we're going out for coffee. At the Lima Bean. Even though I trust him, I don't quite feel comfortable to go all the way out there alone with him just in case he DOES have plans. So could you maybe just... keep an eye out? – Kurt_

_1. Definitely. 2. YOU TRUST HIM? :D – Quinn_

_A little. I don't think he'd hurt me, but... – Kurt_

_You just want to have that safety blanket. I get it. – Quinn_

_Thank you. – Kurt _

_We won't come over unless you need us to. But we'll be there in an instant if you do. – Quinn_

_Thank you – Kurt_

_I'm really proud of you Kurt. – Quinn_

* * *

><p>"Have you ever been to the Lima Bean?" asked Blaine as we walked towards his car. It was quarter to seven on Friday morning. The air had a chill, but it wasn't unbearable.<p>

"I have," I replied. Blaine unlocked his doors and I climbed in the passenger side. I was nervous for the outing, but having the New Directions girls there would be comforting, even though they'd tell everything that happened to the boys.

"Is it an okay spot?" he asked, climbing into the driver's seat and starting the car. "We can go somewhere else if you want."

"No, it's a good choice," I said. "They do make good coffee."

Blaine smiled in relief. "They have a nice atmosphere too."

"They do," I agreed.

"We can turn on the radio or plug in my iPod," said Blaine. "It's your choice."

"I'm fine with either," I said.

"My iPod is in the compartment in front of you. You can plug it in and pick something to listen to," said Blaine.

I agreed silently and found the device. Looking through it, I found a great deal of Top 40. Blaine must have felt my judgement because he began to blush.

"I- I like what's on the radio?" he tried defending himself.

"I never said anything."

As I looked further, I found a fair bit of Roxy music, and surprisingly, some Broadway and some Disney music.

What did the Broadway music mean? Was he gay? I didn't mean to stereotype, but generally straight men don't listen to Broadway music. Or Disney music. But maybe he did. Or maybe I was reading too much into it and the Broadway was just there for the project, and Disney was there to bring back childhood memories. I thought quickly over what I should pick, as I knew Blaine would judge me - not necessarily badly - on my choice.

"I'll just put it on shuffle," I told Blaine.

Blaine nodded, though he seemed a little bit disappointed, and music filled the car. He adjusted the volume and we continued on our way.

We didn't talk much during the drive, only commenting every so often. Blaine sang along to most of the songs that played and I had to admit, he had a fabulous voice. It was smooth, yet rough at the same time. I could tell he enjoyed singing, and that definitely made his voice a lot more appealing.

When we arrived, I spotted a few of the New Directions' cars in the lot. I saw them sitting near the window, talking happily about this and that with each other. Quinn, who was facing the window, noticed me quickly and smiled. I watched as she picked up her phone to type out a message. My own phone vibrated in my pocket so I took it out to see what she had sent.

_I've let them know to keep their distance unless you need us. If you do, look side to side as if you're stretching your neck. – Quinn_

I nodded to let her know I understood. I was about to open my door to get out of Blaine's car, but the boy was already there, opening it for me.

"Thank you," I mumbled, my cheeks tinting red.

"Not a problem," said Blaine. "So we have about an hour before we should start heading back. We can finish our coffees and maybe talk a little bit and then leave. If that's okay with you?"

I nodded in agreement. At least this way I'd know when we'd be leaving.

Blaine opened the door to the shop for me. "You can find a table," he said. "I'll get a coffee."

"So do you um, have any preferences as to where?" I asked.

Blaine shook his head. "Wherever you want is fine," he said, which I translated into 'wherever I feel safest.'

I carefully looked around the shop and decided on a table relatively close to the girls, where they'd be able to hear our conversations if they were quiet enough, but far enough away as to not look suspicious. They met my eye and gave me reassuring smiles once I was seated. Only moments after I looked away, Blaine came back with our coffees and a fair amount of food on a tray.

"So I got breakfast too. I forgot to ask so I just got some of everything I like so we can share," Blaine said nervously as he placed the tray in the center of the table. "If you don't like anything, it's cool, but take what you want."

I took my coffee from his hand and eyed what he'd gotten. "Thank you. I would've eaten anything, you didn't really need to get all this..."

"It's no problem! I was having troubles picking for myself anyways," Blaine said. "So, um, take what you want and I'll have what's left."

I carefully took half of the bagel, one of the scones and a piece of biscotti. "You can have the rest," I said.

Blaine nodded and moved the remaining food over to his side. "So are you excited to be going home this weekend?" he asked.

"Of course," I replied, not failing to notice that the girls had gone quiet.

"What are your plans?"

"I don't have any," I answered.

Blaine's brows furrowed as he opened his coffee lid. "You said you did."

"No I didn't."

"I asked you for coffee after school today but you said you had plans," said Blaine. "That's why we moved it to now."

"Oh," I mumbled, suddenly remembering. "Yeah, that's- We um, we have family dinners every Friday. That's- That's what I was talking about." I closed my eyes tightly, preparing myself for the judgemental comments. It was stupid to share such a personal thing with him. But the comments I expected weren't the ones that came.

"That's nice," commented Blaine. I opened my eyes slowly and saw him with a faraway expression in his eyes. "I'd love to have a tradition like that with my family. The last time we ate together without doing it for show was... God I can't even remember. It had to be before high school."

"What do you do for Christmas then? And thanksgiving?"

"Christmas they generally just leave me to open my gifts and then expect me to entertain myself. Then company comes over and we start playing happy family," said Blaine with a slight bitter tone. "And that's if they're there at all. Thanksgiving... Generally it's a chef making me a dinner that I eat by myself. My parents are often away. I ask the employees if they want to join me but they all have their own families, you know?"

"I-I'm sorry," I said. I felt bad for Blaine. No one deserved to spend holidays like that in such ways. They should be spent with loved ones, not alone. I briefly wondered how rich his family was if he had a household staff, but didn't dwell much on the thought. It wasn't money that made a person.

"It's fine. It sucks but I'm used to it," said Blaine. "Let's talk about something else. What do you do for Christmas?"

"I don't really... Normal stuff I guess."

"Now that's not an answer," said Blaine.

"I don't know what to say," I admitted nervously.

"Do you get a real tree or a fake one?" Blaine asked.

"Real," I said, before nervously adding, "My mother always loved the smell."

"Loved? She doesn't anymore?" Blaine asked. He must have understood with the way my expression dropped. "Oh- God, Kurt I'm so sorry. I didn't... I'm sorry."

"It's fine," I whispered. I took a bite of the scone and sighed deeply. It always hurt when someone brought up my mother. I knew Blaine didn't mean to bring those memories back, but they came anyways. I was slightly worried if he'd use that against me later, but I was doubting that he would. It really didn't seem like something he would do.

We drank our coffees in silence for a few minutes before the silence was broken.

"Do you know why there's a bunch of girls our age staring at us?" Blaine asked, looking in the direction of the girls' table.

"Possibly," I said hesitantly. I glanced over with just enough time to see the girls look away quickly.

Blaine looked back at me. "Do you know them?"

"I do," I hesitated.

"Good, because I'd be really creeped out if you didn't," he said before we got quiet again.

"Um, interesting selection of music on your iPod," I said awkwardly.

Blaine laughed. "Yeah. If you're hinting at the Disney, well, it's Disney. What _can't _you love about Disney?"

"The lack of parents," I pointed out.

"That's actually a good point. That always bothers me when I watch the movies," Blaine said.

Suddenly, we had entered a discussion about my favorite childhood movies. The lack of parents was only the tip of the iceberg. We quickly moved into an examination of different princesses and then moved to discuss the music of Disney in general. I had to admit, I enjoyed myself. I allowed Blaine to do the majority of the talking, but would give my own opinions every so often. I had never really gotten the chance to have such a deep discussion about Disney with anyone before, and it was nice.

_Well_, I thought to myself. _If you ever need to start a conversation with him, you know how._

Before I knew it, it was time to start heading back to Dalton. I hadn't realized time had flown by so quickly. It had felt like only a few minutes since we started talking, much less an hour. Neither had I realized that the New Directions girls had left. If this had occurred immediately after my transfer to Dalton, then I'd be having a panic attack. But noticing them gone, I found I didn't really mind.

* * *

><p>I sat at the piano again. I'd be at home for the weekend, but for some reason I wanted to play one more time before I left.<p>

I started out with basic scales, like I'd become accustomed to, before moving into short songs. I was playing for a half hour before I decided to head home. But first I uttered a sound that I hadn't in months.

"_Do, re, mi, fa, so, la, ti, do._"

* * *

><p><strong>If you didn't figure out the last line, KURT SANG! Yay! <strong>

**Songs used were: Perfect- P!nk (edited lyrics)  
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** All I Ask Of You - Phantom of the Opera (the beginning fit, don't read too much into it)  
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**I hope you enjoyed it. Please continue reading and reviewing. I always get a smile on my face when I see one in my inbox :)  
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**Thank you :)  
><strong>


	13. Chapter 13

**I really wanted to get this up sooner but I got sick. I'm feeling better now though!  
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**I sort of edited it, but I'll probably end up going over it again tomorrow. I just want this up. It's kind of filler-y but it decided to come out this way.  
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**I own nothing.  
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* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 13<strong>

Even though I only sang a few notes, it was like an immense weight had lifted off my shoulders. I had been living my days like I was drowning underwater, but now I could finally breathe again.

I passed a window as I walked towards my dorm to pick up my bags. The sun turned it almost into a mirror, and I could easily tell that it wasn't just spiritually that I was feeling better. I looked stronger. Less afraid. My shoulders were no longer tensely hunched forwards, but relaxed. I wasn't walking as confidently as I used to be, but it was a vast improvement from before.

* * *

><p>I walked into my home quietly, bringing my bag in with me. Carole came down carrying a basket full of – what seemed to be – clean laundry. When she saw me, she gave me a wide smile.<p>

"Kurt sweetie! How was your week?" she asked. I could see her trying to resist the urge to put her basket down and hug me. It was a nice thought, to give me my space, but I honestly didn't think I would have minded if she did decide to hug me.

"It was good, thanks," I replied. "How was yours?"

"It was lovely, thank you," she said warmly. "You go and rest up a little bit from your drive. Your dad is just picking something up from the shop that he forgot. He'll be back soon."

"You're sure he isn't working?" I asked. My father's health was important. I didn't think I'd be able to manage if he had another heart attack while I was at Dalton. would most definitely feel as if it were my fault because I was not there to keep an eye on him.

"I'm positive honey," Carole assured. "I'm just going to go sort the laundry. Go relax. I'm sure you've had a long week."

"Thanks Carole," I said, giving her a tiny smile before passing her and heading towards my room. As I walked downstairs, I heard a thump. I didn't have to turn to know that Carole had dropped her laundry basket in shock.

I went into the safety of my room and set my bag down on my bed. I felt my phone vibrate so I quickly took it out and checked the message.

_So my parents are in town this weekend. – Blaine_

_Are you going to see them? – Kurt_

_Don't have much of a choice. I'm expected to. – Blaine_

_Are you going home then? – Kurt_

_Unfortunately :( - Blaine_

_I don't get why I have to make the time for them when they don't make the time for me... – Blaine_

I knew that Blaine had problems with his parents, as a lot of Dalton did. I felt bad for him. He was an amazing person, always kind and thoughtful. He was my friend. I didn't want his parents to make him feel like he was less than he really was.

_I'm sorry – Kurt_

_Yeah... Well I gotta get ready to go to some restaurant with them. Boo. – Blaine_

_Have fun – Kurt_

_More like 'try not to stab them' :P – Blaine_

"I'm home!" I heard my dad call. Slowly, I began to work my way upstairs. I stopped when I saw Carole rush up to greet him.

"Burt oh my goodness! You won't believe it!" I heard Carole say. "It's Kurt!"

"Is he okay? Do I need to get my shotgun? Did something happen on his way home from school?" my dad responded frantically, quickly pulling keys out of his pocket.

"Something _must_ have happened, but whatever it was I'm glad it did," said Carole.

"What do you mean?"

"Kurt... He seems... almost _happy_ Burt. He smiled at me! It was small, but it was a definite smile!"

"Are you serious?" my dad asked, sounding completely shocked yet thrilled.

"I don't know what happened but I'm blown away!"

"Hi dad," I said, bringing myself into view. A small smile crossed my face, making him beam like he'd just been in the rain after a long drought.

"I missed you kiddo," he said. He opened his arms hesitantly. I only hesitated a few seconds before going into his embrace. He immediately wrapped his arms tightly around me. "I missed you so much."

I was pressed tightly against his chest. I was unable to move and it made me begin to panic. But I didn't want to say anything. I could tell letting my dad do this meant the world to him, and I didn't want to ruin that feeling by telling him I wanted him to stop hugging me. He hugged me for a little while longer, my panic rising all the while. When he let go, I immediately stepped back to give myself room to breathe. I was almost positive he realised what had happened, but before he could apologize, I cut him off.

"So where's Finn?" I asked.

"I- He's at a game night with the glee boys," my dad explained. "He forgot about Friday Night Dinners. I figured he could skip this one since this one was 'so important'."

"But Friday Night Family Dinners are a tradition," I said. "They're important."

"I know sweetie, but we were thinking that we could make the most out of it," said Carole. "We were thinking of going to that nice French restaurant a little ways out of town. Finn wouldn't like it there, but I know you like French culture and I myself wouldn't mind going somewhere other than Breadsticks. So what do you think?"

She looked at me hopefully. "But... Isn't it expensive there?" I asked.

"It's fine kiddo," my dad assured. "We can treat ourselves tonight. It's probably the best chance we'll get at going anyways."

"Dad you hate French food."

"I heard their bread is good."

"Baguette, dad," I said.

"I couldn't care less kiddo," dad said, waving me off. "If you want to go there, we can."

I bit my lip before carefully nodding. "We can if you all want to."

"Excellent!" said Carole excitedly. "I'm going to go get dressed into something nice!"

"Wait, what?" I asked confusedly.

"It's a fancier restaurant remember?" Carole said. "We don't want to go in just jeans and a t-shirt. Burt, come up with me. Let me find you something suitable in your wardrobe of flannel," she said, before leading my father up the stairs into the bedroom.

Was I just set up? Did they plan that simply so that I would open the boxes containing my old clothes? That really didn't seem like something that they would do. After a long hesitation, I made my way downstairs and opened my closet.

I stared at the intimidating boxes on the floor for a long few minutes before finally taking the scissors I took from my desk to cut them open. I was hoping that I'd get lucky, and I'd only have to open one, but of course that wasn't what happened. I had no idea which box was which, as I hadn't labeled them.

The first box I opened contained skinny jeans. I forgot just how many pairs I had. It was too bad I'd wasted so much money on them. I didn't think I'd ever wear them, but I didn't particularly want to go through the hassle of selling them. It wasn't at all that I had a slight desire to put a pair on.

The next box held athletic material, which was certainly inappropriate to wear. This was what I used to wear when I went for runs, in gym class, or learning new dance routines in glee. _And out of glee_, I thought, as I noticed the black unitard I wore when doing the _Single Ladies_ dance with Brittney and Tina.

The next box had many of my old glee costumes. I didn't dig through it, but I noticed the outfit I wore in the infamous _Push It _on top. Underneath, I saw our Regionals outfit from the year before. I didn't dig through them to see which outfits were in the box, instead moving on to the next.

This one contained old shirts of mine, such as the one I had with moustaches on it. I dug down a bit, just in case there were dress shirts at the bottom, but found nothing.

The next contained many, many sweaters and vests. I could remember wearing each and every one, and they each had a memory to attach themselves to. The majority of the time, the memory wasn't a good one. Usually it was a dumpster toss, or a slushie facial.

Scarves were in the next box I opened. I really _did_ like them. I had absolutely no idea I had _this_ many. There had to be at least fifty. They were all different styles, fabrics and colours. They were thrown in the box not even close to neatly. I briefly considered taking them out to fold them and store them properly, but quickly shot that idea down. It didn't really matter what state my scarves were in if I didn't wear them.

I eventually found dress pants. I carefully looked at the pairs I had before deciding on the ones that weren't tight, but would make me look mature. That was, after all, the reason I'd purchased this pair. I paired it with a plain red dress shirt I found in another box. I added a plain black tie and was set to go.

My dad and Carole were waiting downstairs in the living room. Carole looked up at me and smiled as I walked into the room.

"Are you ready to go?" she asked.

I nodded. "Yeah. We can head out."

"You look nice kiddo," said my dad, nodding in approval at my choice of outfit. He himself was wearing something similar, but with a different colored shirt that didn't go nearly as well with his skin tone as my own – _not_ that that mattered to me.

* * *

><p>We arrived at the restaurant, and were quickly told by the receptionist that we had to wait an hour before we'd be able to be seated. Carole agreed quickly before my dad could say anything. The two of them began to talk about their days and I listened quietly while taking out my phone.<p>

_So we need to talk about this morning. Now. – Quinn_

_Like the reason why you left? – Kurt_

_Don't even Kurt Hummel. You were PERFECTLY fine being left alone with him. You didn't even notice when we left! You were too busy making heart eyes at Blaine! – Quinn_

_I was NOT making heart eyes at him Quinn. – Kurt_

_I'm kidding. But you didn't take long to start talking with him! – Quinn_

_He did most of the talking – Kurt_

_MOST does not mean ALL. But it was nice, seeing you open yourself up to him – Quinn_

_I didn't really 'open myself up' – Kurt_

_Kurt you told him about Friday Night Dinners AND you let him know about your mom. In my eyes, both those things count as 'opening yourself up'. – Quinn_

I felt a hand suddenly press itself onto my shoulder, causing me to jump high in my seat. I looked up feeling completely terrified that it was a jock who'd been touching me. I was very much mistaken though, when it was my dad's eyes I met.

"God, Kurt I'm so sorry," my dad exclaimed. "I didn't mean to scare you. Are you okay?"

"Fine," I said shakily. "What's going on?"

"They were able to give us a table earlier than expected," he explained. "We're getting seated now."

I nodded and stood up on wobbly knees. My dad looked at me guiltily. "It's fine dad," I said quietly to him. "It's not your fault."

"I should have..."

"Right this way please," said the hostess with a hint of a French accent. It didn't sound fake to my ears, which was already making the restaurant look good. We followed her to a booth in the center of the restaurant. The booth backs were low enough to see over into the others, making the restaurant have a more welcoming, open feel to it.

I sat down and took out my phone to text back Quinn.

"Kurt, no phones at the dinner table," my dad scolded, giving me a firm look.

"One second," I mumbled, before quickly telling Quinn I was eating. I put it away and opened the menu which was placed neatly in front of me. I was impressed that it was written completely in French.

"Kurt, what's on the menu?" asked my dad, looking completely dumbstruck at the text. "I don't understand anything."

"I wouldn't mind a suggestion from you either Kurt," admitted Carole.

Our waiter suddenly walked up. He was tall, with dark hair and tanned skin. "Hello, my name is Antoine and I will be your server for you today," he said with a thick French accent. "May I start you off with something to drink?"

"Do you want to share a bottle of champagne?" Carole asked my father.

"We'll be paying enough anyways. Why not," he replied.

"I will be sure bring a bottle out right away," said the waiter, before turning to me. "And for you, sir?"

"Just a Diet Coke please," I said quietly, shuffling uncomfortably as he looked me up and down with his icy blue eyes.

"Of course," he said, a sly smile covering his face. He quickly wrote down our orders. "I'll be back soon," he said before moving to another table.

"I don't like him," my dad grumbled.

"Burt, Kurt's an attractive young man. It's only right for someone to finally show some interest in him," chastised Carole. "And you never know, Kurt could start a relationship with him-"

"When he's thirty."

"Can we _please_ stop talking about this," I squeaked. "He was not showing interest in me anyways," I muttered.

"Oh he definitely checked you out," Carole said happily.

The hostess walked past us leading another group of three. The tall male accidentally stepped on my foot, not even bothering to look at me when I whimpered and quickly moved it. He was dressed in an expensive suit – I didn't know which brand – and altogether seemed rather stuck up. The woman, who seemed much shorter, was also dressed in what looked to be expensive clothes. She followed him closely, seeming to have the same attitude as the male.

And then following the two of them was Blaine.

"Sorry about my father," he whispered as he walked past. He didn't turn to look at us, instead continuing walking. The blush creeping up his neck made me assume it was from embarrassment of his father.

"Asshole," I heard my dad mutter.

"Don't worry about it Dad," I mumbled back. "So were there any interesting car problems this week?"

My dad seemed reluctant to drop the subject, but he did so anyways, and began to tell a story about a car coming in with a hornet nest in the exhaust.

I listened amusedly, but allowed my eyes to trail to Blaine, who was sitting in the booth right behind ours. From my position, I was facing Blaine, and his parents were back to back with my dad and Carole. Blaine began to look around the restaurant, seeming bored, when his eyes suddenly met mine.

He quickly masked his surprise with a grin. I tried to smile back, but I was pretty sure it came off as a grimace. He nodded his head to his parents and mouthed an apology. I gave a miniscule shrug in reply when our waiter went up to Blaine's table. He turned to look at the waiter, and I turned to look at my parents.

"So, how was your week kiddo?" asked my dad.

"It was good," I replied.

"Are you making any friends?" Carole asked.

_This reminds me of kindergarten,_ I thought to myself. "Yeah. I went out for coffee with someone this morning."

"Who was it?" asked my dad.

"Blaine," I responded. "He's been trying to guess my order and he finally got it right so he took me out for coffee."

Carole beamed. "That's wonderful!"

"The girls were sitting a few tables over," I added. "It wasn't _just_ me and him."

Before they had a chance to respond, the waiter returned to our table with my diet coke and a rather large bottle of champagne in a bucket of ice and two flutes. He placed them on the table before popping open the champagne and pouring both adults a flute.

"Thank you," Carole said.

"Anytime," said Antoine. "What would you like to order?" he asked.

They both looked at me expectantly, making Antoine turn to me and eye me interestedly.

"Um, I'll h-have the Blanquette de veau with pommes duchesse, Carole will have the Boudin blanc with mixed vegetables and my dad will have Steak au poivre with mixed vegetables," I ordered nervously.

"I'll be sure to bring that right out," said Antoine, in a sultry voice. He shot me a wink before heading off.

I shuffled uncomfortably in my seat and watched as my dad glared at our waiter's back.

"I don't like him," he repeated.

_I don't like him much either_, I thought. I looked up at Blaine, who was watching the waiter with an expression I couldn't quite place. Blaine turned back to me and the dark expression in his eyes vanished as if it had never been there in the first place. He smiled slightly at me. I could hear his parents start to begin to hound him with questions. I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I ended up doing so anyways. It wasn't difficult to.

"How are your grades?" his father asked.

"They're doing well father," Blaine replied. It was strange. I'd never heard him use such a formal tone before, not even with teachers.

"Are you still in that singing thing?"

"Yes father," Blaine replied, his voice growing tense. "I've actually become lead singer of the _Warblers_."

"You should quit."

"I _enjoy_ the Warblers father," Blaine said thickly. "It gives me something to do during the week."

"Then why don't you join a sport Blaine? They have plenty at Dalton and I'm sure we could convince the school to let you try out! It'll also look good on your college applications," said his mother.

"The Warblers will be better on my applications than a sport," replied Blaine. "Besides, I play soccer, football _and_ I fence. You'd know that if you were actually around," he said bitterly.

"Don't use that tone with me," his father scolded. "And if you're already involved in so many things, you should definitely drop the Warblers so you have more time to study. It's not good to have so much stress."

"My grades are fine!"

"And really Blaine, what college program would choose a musician over an athlete?" asked his mother.

"Any program I want to do."

"And what's that?"

"I don't know... Something involving music."

"Blaine, you are _not_ going to study music," Blaine's father said firmly. "It's a degree that will get you nothing valuable in the future unless you want a hungry stomach and an empty bank account. What you'll be doing is getting a degree in both business and finance and then you will work at the bank and eventually take over it."

Blaine rolled his eyes but said nothing. He looked up at me with eyes that seemed to scream 'why me?' I gave him a sympathetic look, but there wasn't much else I could do.

I went back into a conversation with my dad and Carole, looking up at Blaine fairly often. We shared glances with each other, my own helping him survive his evening out with his parents. The waiter dropped the drinks off at Blaine's table, and passed ours more often than necessary, while making sure to give me some form of stare.

We were given our food quick enough. Antoine put my dad and Carole's plates down without too much acknowledgement, and my own down with a flourish. It hadn't taken me too long to figure out he was most definitely coming on to me. It made me nervous, and the reason wasn't only that he so obviously only wanted me for one night.

What if his advances made Blaine catch on to the fact that I was gay? I could not have that happen. I was nowhere near ready to let him know my sexuality. The way he glared at Antoine whenever he made an advance brought the possibility of him being homophobic to my mind. I mentally and emotionally could not deal with a homophobe right now. Especially if that homophobe was my friend. But Blaine didn't seem to catch on to the fact that I myself might be gay. I didn't know for certain though.

Blaine's father turned to Mrs. Anderson after a long, dry speech about one thing or another that Blaine was forced to listen to. Once his father was no longer paying attention to him, Blaine looked at me cross-eyed and did some rather... interesting mouth movements. I snorted out some of my diet coke causing us both to shake with silent giggles. Blaine's family showed no notice of him. I, on the other hand, did not have the same luck.

"Kurt, how on Earth are you finding Mrs. Jenkins' death funny?" asked my dad. "She was such a nice woman! You used to help her in her garden when you were young!"

"I- Th-That's not why I'm laughing," I stuttered embarrassedly.

"What's so funny then?"

"Um, th-the picture. Hanging on the wall," I said, looking around frantically.

"Kurt, it's a picture of a stack of dead fish."

"It... I just find it funny, that's all," I said nervously.

My dad gave me a strange look. "Are you sure that school is good for you?"

I noticed Carole turning around in her seat and look at Blaine's family. She didn't look for long, but when she turned back, I could tell she knew what had happened. Blaine's laughing must have given it away. She gave me a knowing smile, but didn't question what had happened. I appreciated that, because I really didn't know how I was going to answer whatever questions she may have had.

"You made an excellent choice of meal for me," Carole said appreciatively.

"Yeah," my dad agreed. "I actually got a steak!"

"You can have one night off, but that's it," I said. "I'm just going to go to the bathroom, if you'll excuse me."

"Go right ahead kiddo," my dad said. "If that waiter comes back, do you want him to take away your plate or are you still hungry?"

"I'll keep eating," I replied as I slipped out of the booth and headed towards the restrooms.

I was washing my hands after doing my business when Blaine walked in. "Hey, I tried to get in here sooner," he said.

"Oh, um, hi," I said nervously.

"So how do you like it here?" Blaine asked, seeming to notice my discomfort.

"It's good," I said. "The food is nice."

"Yeah," Blaine agreed. "I bet it'd help if you knew what you were ordering though."

"I'm sure it would."

"I don't like the waiter very much though," Blaine said after a pause.

"There've definitely been better waiters."

"So, um, is your foot okay?" asked Blaine, glancing down to it.

"Yes, it's fine, thank you," I replied. "I can understand why you weren't too excited about spending time with your parents."

"Doesn't take much to," Blaine agreed. "And it's the same thing every time. 'Quit your singing thing! Join a sport! Get a business and finance degree!'" Blaine said, trying to imitate his father's voice. He did a rather good job at it, I had to admit. It was probably because of practice. "I just have to wait until I graduate. Then I can leave and never look back."

"You won't be going into banking then?"

Blaine faked a gag. "No. I'm sticking with music. It's what I love. If they disinherit me, then I really don't care. If I get famous and they try to contact me again, then that's too bad for them because I won't be communicating with them."

"I'm sorry," I said quietly, unsure of what to do.

Blaine shrugged. "It's life. Your family seems really nice though. I know I met them your first day, but they seem great."

"They are," I replied. "I, um, I should probably head back. They'll be wondering where I am."

"Oh, right, of course," said Blaine, moving away from the door so I had room to pass. "Thanks for making dinner bearable for me. And sorry if you get more questions about the laugh at an inappropriate time. I think your stepmother knows that it was my fault though."

"I think she does. It's fine though," I said. "I'll see if I can convince them to order dessert so I can keep you sane longer."

Blaine gave me a grateful look. "You don't have to but it would be _awesome_ if you did."

"I'll see what I can do," I said. I left the bathroom after giving him a small, shy smile.

"Everything okay in the bathroom?" asked my dad when I sat down. "You were in there for quite a while."

"Sorry, there was a lineup," I lied, before continuing to work on my meal. I finished it quickly and noticed our waiter beginning to make his way towards us.

"Can we get dessert?" I asked.

"I've always wanted to try Crème Brulée!" Carole exclaimed.

My dad shrugged. "If you want. I'll just get a coffee then."

"All finished?" Antoine asked us, while looking directly at me.

"Yes, thank you," said my dad gruffly.

"Is there anything else I can get you?" Antoine asked me. "If I'm – I mean, if _it's_ not on the menu I'm sure we can go somewhere private to discuss-"

"Oops," said Blaine, accidentally bumping into Antoine as he returned to his table. "_Sorry_," he said with a slight sarcastic tone. "I didn't mean to bump you." The two glared at each other as Blaine walked back to his seat.

"We'll have two crème brulées and a coffee," my dad replied with an unhappy look on his face.

"Of course," said Antoine, leaving the table briskly.

"Do I have to tip him?" my dad asked once the waiter was gone.

"Usually I'd say yes, but that comment definitely made this a special circumstance," Carole replied. "Are you alright Kurt?"

"Fine," I mumbled. I _really_ did not like the waiter leering at me the way he did.

The dessert came quick enough, with minimal stares from Antoine who seemed to realize I was sitting with my father and stepmother. We ate, finishing at the same time as Blaine and his family, who decided against getting dessert. Both of us paid our bills, my dad paying only what was on the receipt, and we left at about the same time.

Once I was in the car, I took out my phone to send a text to Blaine.

_Thanks for stopping the waiter. If that was an accident, well, you saved me from a very uncomfortable situation. – Kurt_

_No problem :) – Blaine _

"When you were in the bathroom, your father and I discussed maybe getting changed into something more casual and then going to see a movie together. What do you think?" Carole asked.

"Um, sure," I said.

"What's out?" my dad asked.

"I've been wanting to see Burlesque. That looked good," Carole commented. "There isn't much else out right now."

"Yeah, sure," my dad replied. "We could go see that. That okay with you Kurt?"

"S-Sure," I said nervously. But I wasn't sure if it was. That was something Old Kurt would go see. That was a step I wasn't quite willing to take yet. But I couldn't suddenly decide not to go after saying yes. That would be rude. And it was true, there wasn't much else out. I had plans to see Tangled with the girls, so I couldn't suggest that. Transformers never interested me, and I couldn't go see Harry Potter without getting confused. Burlesque was really the only option.

Carole looked up movie times on her phone, and luckily – or unluckily for me – there was one we'd be able to make after getting changed with enough time to spare. We got back in the car after getting ready for the movie and drove off. It was dark, meaning all the signs and lights were so much brighter than in the daytime. I always did enjoy looking at the city lights at night. There was something about the bright colors that made me want to get to better things.

* * *

><p>When we arrived at the theatre, Carole went in line for tickets. I caught my dad looking over at the snack bar while we waited near the arcade.<p>

"No," I said to him.

"Hm?" he asked, tearing his gaze away.

"You aren't getting anything from there."

"I thought you said I could have a night off the diet!"

"I already let you have a steak," I told him. "You do _not _need any more fat and salt going into your system."

He rolled his eyes. "If you and Carole get to have food here then why shouldn't I?"

"Burt, we weren't the ones who had a heart attack. Besides, we just ate. I'm certainly not hungry enough," said Carole, coming up to us with our tickets.

"Neither am I," I commented.

He grumbled, but Carole began handing us our tickets which distracted him. We headed to the employee who took our tickets and said in a monotone voice how to get to our theater (as if it wasn't obvious enough).

"Where do you want to sit?" asked Carole as we walked in. It was fairly empty, not fifteen people were there, so we had a wide selection.

"I wouldn't mind sitting in the back," commented my dad. Looking at them, I saw my dad give Carole a rather suggestive look. And if _that_ didn't scar my mind enough, Carole giggled and blushed.

"Burt, Kurt's _right there_," I heard her whisper as she elbowed him in the side.

I caught sight of someone in the theatre who I hadn't expected to see. The shock of it was much more subdued than what I expected. If it was right after the incident, I'd be having a full blown panic attack. But I had gotten so much better. Seeing Blaine unexpectedly in a public place didn't actually bother me that much. I had to admit it may have been because my dad was there, but even if something _did _go wrong – which I didn't think would happen – he'd be able to get me out in a second.

"I'll just sit somewhere else," I said after a moment of difficult debate. A bright red hue covered my features.

"I was just kidding Kurt," my dad said, at the same time Carole said, "No, no honey, we don't want you to sit alone!"

"I won't be alone," I said with some confidence.

"Kurt-"

"I'll see you after the movie," I said. Without looking back, I walked up the steps to an aisle in about the middle. I crept along the row until I reached the center. "Is anyone sitting here?" I asked, getting nervous.

Blaine, who was sitting there, looked up and stared in shock. "K-Kurt?" In his hands was a large bag of popcorn with a noticeable amount missing and his phone. He had a large drink in the cup holder farthest from me

"Hi," I said nervously.

"What on Earth are you doing here? Are you _stalking _me?" Blaine said jokingly. He suddenly grinned and patted the seat. "Sit."

"Thank you," I whispered, sitting down on the edge of the seat and turning to face the preshow.

"I was actually just about to text you," commented Blaine. "I got bored of the preshow and figured you'd entertain me."

"Well, you don't need to," I said.

"So what are you doing here?" he asked.

"My dad and stepmother suggested we go see a movie," I explained. "Carole suggested Burlesque and, well, here I am." I shrugged. I was almost certain Blaine could tell the movie selection wasn't my preference, but he didn't comment. "I'm surprised you aren't seeing Harry Potter."

Blaine laughed. "I've seen it twice already. I'd go again, but I don't particularly feel like sobbing over Do-Daniel Radcliffe's epicness."

"The way you said that makes me think someone dies in it," I commented, giving him a side glance.

"I never said that," he said quickly.

"That just proves my point," I commented. I glanced down and saw my dad and Carole still standing where I left them. They were staring in shock at me and Blaine. Once they realized I was staring at them, they began moving up the steps.

"They can sit with us if you want," said Blaine, looking where my eyes were pinned.

"I- No. they wanted to sit in the _back row_," I said, pronouncing the last two words so Blaine would catch my meaning.

He wrinkled his nose. "That's just wrong."

"Very much so," I agreed, as they passed our row. "So, um, why do you have an enormous bag of popcorn in your lap?" I asked after a pause.

"You can't see a movie without popcorn!" Blaine exclaimed.

"You can't seriously be hungry though. You _just _ate."

"So? I'm a growing, teenage boy!"

"You certainly haven't hit your growth spurt yet, that's for sure," I said.

"That's just mean Hummel," Blaine said, slapping my arm playfully.

I flinched violently as reminiscences of McKinley filled my mind. Blaine didn't slap me hard, I could barely feel it, but it still brought on an onslaught of memories of my torture at that school. I felt myself begin to tremble, but I did not fall into a flashback. Blaine still began to panick.

"Crap, Kurt I'm so sorry I didn't- I didn't mean to scare you. Are you okay?" Blaine exclaimed. "I'm a complete idiot. I shouldn't have done that. I _know_ what it's like to deal with the aftermath bullying – _fuck_ please say something. Tell me you're okay. Go sit with your parents if you have to feel comfortable. I'm _so _sorry."

"You were bullied?" I asked quietly. I stared straight ahead, keeping my eyes firmly on the screen, though I wasn't really watching it.

"I- Yeah. Pretty badly. It's why I transferred to Dalton," Blaine replied. "Kurt I'm _so_ sorry."

I turned my head to slowly look into his eyes. They were filled with guilt, apology, concern and the pain of some past occurrence. He looked like he wanted to cry. I stared into them for a few moments before nodding. I could tell he was telling the truth. "It-It's f-fine," I stuttered.

Blaine bit his lip. "Are you sure?"

"You were j-just treating me like you would an-anyone else. It-It's okay. I know- I know you didn't mean to," I responded honestly.

He nodded slowly. "I'm really sorry."

"I know. You've said that more than once."

"Can I get you something to make you feel better or-"

"Blaine, _it's okay_," I said amusedly. "I'm- I'm surprisingly feeling fine."

"I need to do _something_ though-"

"No you don't!"

"Just- Just share my popcorn?" Blaine asked.

"I don't need popcorn Blaine," I said. "But if it makes you stop fretting..." Blaine nodded quickly and held the bag towards me. I took a few pieces and popped them in my mouth. "Thank you."

"You can take as much as you want," said Blaine. "If we run out I can always run to the snack bar and get a refill too."

I shook my head at him. "Whatever you say. Just please stop apologizing."

We were quiet for a few minutes. The preshow turned into previews and we watched them, only commenting whether or not they looked good. It was surprisingly... comfortable. The feature was just about to start when Blaine leaned over and whispered to me.

"Thank you for coming and sitting down next to me, Kurt. I know it might not have been the easiest thing for you to do."

I nodded and slowly relaxed myself into the seat as Christina Aguilera came onscreen.

* * *

><p><strong>The picture of dead fish: http: www . google . ca/imgres?um=1&hl=en&client=firefox-a&sa=N&rls=:en-GB:official&biw=1600&bih=809&tbm=isch&tbnid=H3xHwvkltxgXgM:&imgrefurl=/pierre-auguste-renoir-french-impressionist-painting-still-life-with-fish-1890&docid=-L0demu3s-M8kM&imgurl=&w=500&h=391&ei=r7SmT-qGMcnG6AHUx5i1BA&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=882&vpy=151&dur=291&hovh=198&hovw=254&tx=106&ty=123&sig=113575033329531613198&page=1&tbnh=141&tbnw=180&start=0&ndsp=32&ved=1t:429,r:4,s:0,i:79**

**Welcome back spitsgirls18!  
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**I hope you all liked it, and please keep reading and reviewing! :)  
><strong>


	14. Chapter 14

**I am SO sorry for how long this took! For some reason, it took me a long time to find the right vibe for it. It's up now though. Exams are starting to come up though, so unfortunately a lot of my time will be spent preparing for that in the next few weeks. I will write when I can, but I can't promise when the next chapter will be. They end June 26th, so most likely after then. I will write when I have a chance to though.  
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**This chapter has lots of Klaine interaction, some Hudson-Hummel time, and some time at Dalton, which will help move along the plot.  
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**IMPORTANT MESSAGE: For those of you who haven't heard, ff has been deleting fics. This is making me paranoid, so if by some chance, they decide to delete this, I have made a livejournal and scarves and coffee account. I go by the same name on both, so on livejournal I can be found at eragonarya . livejournal . com and find me on scarves and coffee.  
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**I own nothing.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 14<strong>

I had to admit, I really enjoyed watching Burlesque with Blaine. He made the occasional comment, like he did when watching Harry Potter, but they weren't irritating. The seats made us stay at a comfortable distance, so I didn't have to worry about Blaine cuddling up into my side like he did when we watched a movie in his room. I also knew I was safe and that it was okay to relax, because my dad was sitting somewhere behind us and I knew he would never let anything happen to me. Chances were, he was watching Blaine and I instead of the movie.

Blaine would often pass me his bag of popcorn so I would be forced to take some pieces. I assumed my sharing of his popcorn was his way of apologizing for accidentally causing me to freak out before the movie. It was sweet, and so like Blaine. I appreciated the thought, even though I didn't need the extra calories – not that that mattered. Much.

When the credits started and the lights turned on, Blaine immediately started chattering happily.

"That was _so_ good! Christina Aguilera is a music _goddess_. Her vocals were_ to die for_! Her acting could use some work, but her vocals _more_ than made up for that! Did you _hear_ how flawless she sounded? I swear she's going to be the death of me..." Blaine continued to babble on about the movie while I got my stuff organized so I could get up. I was listening at the same time, and I was surprised at how _gay_ Blaine sounded. Especially with all the hand movements he was doing as he spoke.

Once Blaine noticed I was getting ready to go, he quickly put down the empty bag of popcorn and slipped on his jacket. He wrapped a scarf around his neck and stood up. We walked down towards the front where Burt and Carole were waiting after already walking down the steps.

"And Christina was so _sexy_ during it. Her dancing... guh. I swear I had to wipe drool off my chin." And now Blaine _didn't_ sound so gay.

We walked down the steps towards Burt and Carole, stopping when we reached them.

"Hello boys!" Carole greeted happily. "Blaine, right?" she confirmed, looking at my classmate.

"Yes ma'am," Blaine said politely, immediately going into a dapper persona. "Blaine Anderson. It's nice to see you again."

"You too! Did you two like the movie?" she asked.

I nodded, while Blaine excitedly agreed.

I looked over to my dad, who I noticed was watching Blaine with a pair of suspicious eyes. After a few moments of this, he looked at me. I gave him a nervous smile and he smiled widely back. We both watched amusedly as Carole and Blaine eagerly jumped into a conversation about the movie. Blaine was repeating many of the things he'd said to me, Carole agreeing and saying her own opinions. It was rather amusing to watch them act like a pair of preteen girls.

"Well, we should probably get going," said my dad, glancing at his watch. "I have work in the morning so I'd like to get back to Lima."

"Oh- Of course!" said Blaine. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize how much time had passed."

"It's not your fault," my dad answered. "We'll just get going."

"Actually, Blaine, would you like to come over? We wouldn't mind if you and Kurt wanted to spend some more time together," Carole suggested.

My stomach dropped. Even though I was friends with Blaine, I did _not _want him in my house. That was something I wasn't ready for. My home was the place I could go that I knew I'd be safe, it was private. If Blaine knew where it was, it would take that element away. It may have been rude, but I didn't want Blaine to come over. My fists clenched in hopes of Blaine denying, and I stared at Carole with a pleading expression to take away the offer.

"Thank you for offering, but I should be getting home," Blaine answered. I glanced quickly at him, seeing him looking at me politely. _He must have seen my expression_, I thought to myself. But Blaine didn't look angry, or upset. More understanding. I shrugged nervously at him and he simply smiled, before turning back to Carole. "My parents are home so I'm sure they'd like to spend some time with me."

"Of course," said Carole. "Well, we can at least walk to the parking lot together."

"That sounds lovely," Blaine agreed.

My dad and Carole led the way out of the theatre, with Blaine and I following beside each other. My hands were in my pockets, Blaine's swinging loosely beside him. We walked at an even rhythm as we headed towards the parking lot.

"So," I said nervously.

"So," Blaine repeated confidently. "Thanks for sitting with me and not making me look like a pathetic loser," he said.

"Oh- It-It's no problem," I replied.

"And again, I'm sorry for scaring you."

"It's fine. I know you didn't mean to."

"I know but-"

"_Blaine_," I cut in.

"Okay," he said resigned. "So what else are you doing this weekend?"

"I'm not sure," I replied honestly. "I'll just wait and see. Um, you?"

"My parents have decided to throw a last minute dinner party for Saturday."

"Well that'll be... fun," I mumbled, searching for the right word.

Blaine snorted. "Thrilling."

"Well, I'll keep my phone on me so if you need me to distract you we can text," I suggested nervously.

"That would be really awesome," Blaine admitted, looking at me with happy eyes as we walked out the door to the theatre. "So, where are you parked?"

"The left side of the lot," I replied.

Blaine sighed dramatically. "I'm on the right. So I guess this is farewell?"

"I'll see you Monday," I said.

Blaine smiled widely. "I'll see you later. Goodbye hug?"

I watched in shock as he opened his arms welcomingly. "Um... O-Okay," I stuttered. I walked into his arms nervously. Blaine wrapped his arms around my shoulders, while my own wrapped around his waist. It only lasted a second – probably less – before I backed away on legs that were shaking slightly in panic. I didn't like hugs very much. I could tolerate my dad's, as they were familiar, but Blaine's, even though they were warm and friendly, were too much for me to handle.

"It was good seeing you Kurt," Blaine said sincerely.

"Yeah, you too," I replied. I gave him a wave before rushing off to my dad and Carole, who stopped some distance away. "Let's go home," I mumbled once I reached them.

"Yeah, sure kiddo," my dad replied. Disbelief laced his voice as he spoke. I was surprised he hadn't started questioning me.

We began to make our way towards the car. I stuck close to my dad and Carole, not wanting to risk someone jumping me. It probably wouldn't happen in a crowded parking lot while I was with my parents, but you could never be too safe. My dad unlocked the car from some distance, so as soon as we reached the vehicle, I climbed in and locked my door. We left the lot quickly and then we were on our way home.

* * *

><p>I was sitting in my room Saturday afternoon reading when my phone vibrated beside me, notifying me that I had received a text.<p>

_Do you know anything about fashion? I need advice on what to wear tonight. – Blaine_

I read this text a number of times before carefully deciding what to do. I could take this either way. I could say no, which would make me look straight, basing on the fact that the stereotype was that gay males love fashion. Or I could take a risk and say yes. Depending on whether or not Blaine believed in stereotypes – I didn't know – it could make Blaine assume I was gay. I didn't think I wanted him to know that yet, not until I knew whether or not he was accepting. If I said yes though, I could help him find something suitable to wear. And I wouldn't have to lie, which could hurt our friendship in the future. After a few minutes, I hesitantly sent a text back.

_A little – Kurt_

_Thank god. Black tux or grey tux? – Blaine_

_Um... What exactly is the party for? – Kurt_

_It's really just a dinner party. I think it's for my parents to show off our house. My father's work colleagues are all going with their wives and possibly daughters and sons. – Blaine_

_Do you want to stick out or blend with the crowd? – Kurt_

_What do you suggest? – Blaine_

_It's up to you. – Kurt_

_I have no idea. I don't really want either. Maybe in the middle? – Blaine_

_Okay... You've had these before right? – Kurt_

_Yes. – Blaine_

_What do people generally wear? – Kurt_

_Dresses and suits – Blaine_

_What colors are the suits? – Kurt_

_Black, some grey. – Blaine_

_Do you have a grey tux then? You won't be the only one in grey so you'll blend in but if most people wear black, you'll stick out. – Kurt_

_I have three – Blaine_

_Um... Okay. So pick one. – Kurt_

_I don't know which one. – Blaine_

_Can I call you? It might make things easier. – Kurt_

_Please. – Blaine_

Kurt took a deep breath to try and find some courage before pressing call. The first ring hadn't finished when Blaine picked up.

"Thank you so much," Blaine said. "I really need help."

"What do the three suits look like?"

"They all look the same," said Blaine. "Well, the design is, for the most part. The colors are different."

"What are the options?"

"There's a light grey one and it's kind of striped? But not really, if that makes sense."

"It does, go on," Kurt cut in.

"Okay, it has some silk around the edges of the lapels and on the pockets, but not on the chest pocket. Can you picture that or do you need me to send a picture?"

"No, that's alright," said Kurt. "I can picture it."

"Okay, the second is really dark, almost black. It's close to what the other grey suits are colored. There's a flap that covers the top of the pockets, except the one on the chest. Um... It makes me think of Lucius Malfoy or Sherlock, if that helps."

"And the third?"

"Color-wise, it's in between the two. The tag says steel grey. It's kind of got the stripes like the first one, but they're a lot less defined."

"From what it sounds like, the light one will really make you stand out. The dark one, I think would make you blend in too easily. So I'd go with the last one."

"Okay. How should I accessorize?"

I blinked a couple times. "Um... What do you have to accessorize with?"

"A couple ties and I have lots of bow ties."

"Do you have any pocket squares?"

"I have a white, black, light blue, two plaid and a purple one."

"Which do you want to go with?"

"I don't think I want to go with a plaid one. It's too hard to find a coordinating shirt and stuff with you on the phone. The other ones are all pretty boring so I'm going with the purple one."

I thought for a moment. "Okay, is it a light or dark purple?"

"It's kind of in the middle, but it has a greyish tint to it if that makes sense."

"It does," I assured. "How about waist coats?"

"I got the pocket square in a set with one. It's in the exact same shade."

"Wear that. How high does the waist coat go up to?"

"Um... If you poke your stomach, it's about where your ribs end."

I found the spot on my stomach and pressed lightly, and thought back to what I had read in Vogue. "Either a tie or a bow tie would work."

"Bow tie."

"Okay. Do you have any purple ones?"

"I have four."

"Do you have one that might match?"

"There's one that's a little bit darker, but it has small, lighter spots on it so it looks pretty much the same as the pocket square and waist coat. You have to look really close to see it's not the same."

"That'll do," I said.

"Should I get dressed and send you a picture?"

"Please," I said. "And Blaine, when you do your hair? Please don't drown it in gel. Size of a dime is all you need."

"My hair is insane. I need more than that."

"Blaine."

"I'm serious Kurt."

"So am I."

"I won't use as much as I normally do, okay? I'm using more than a dime though."

I sighed. "Fine. Make sure you let your curls get some freedom though."

"Okay. One second... I'm just going to put you on speaker while I get dressed."

"I can hang up if it makes things easier," I offered quickly.

"No," Blaine said quickly. "I just put you on speaker. Stay on the line."

"I- Alright," I resigned.

"Awesome!" Blaine said happily. "So what are you up to right now?"

"I was reading."

"Harry Potter?"

"Yes."

"What part?" Blaine asked excitedly.

"Harry's just arrived at the Quidditch World Cup," I replied. I heard something drop to the floor (probably pants).

"You're on the fourth? We'll have to watch the third movie soon!"

"That sounds like a plan," I said with a small smile.

I could hear Blaine grin on the other end. "Do you want to watch it at your place tomorrow or wait until we get back to school? I don't mean to invite myself over, but you don't want to meet my parents. Believe me, they aren't exactly fun to be around."

"Let's just wait until school," I said nervously. I bit my lip. Would Blaine take that personally? Would he think I was deliberately trying to hide something for him? What if he began to look up information about me? A simple google search of my name would lead him to Jacob Ben Israel's website, and that would give him all the information he needed. He could-

"That's good with me! I think Wes and David invited me to hang out anyways. Hey, do you want to come too? We're going bowling. I think. Plans are up for changing."

"Um... No thanks. I'm not really much of a bowler." _And for all I know, April Rhodes could have somehow gained possession of the bowling alley._

"All the more reason for you to come!"

"No, I'm really not a fan of bowling," I said, with more confidence than the first time.

"It's _fun_ Kurt!" exclaimed Blaine. "I'll drag you out someday and you'll see."

"Good luck."

Blaine laughed. "Okay, so I'm dressed. I just need to do my hair."

"Don't use too much gel," I ordered quickly.

"Yeah, sure Hummel," said Blaine in a fond voice, at least that's what I thought it was.

About ten minutes later, after discussing the project a little bit, Blaine informed me he had sent me a picture of his outfit.

I put my own phone on speaker and opened the new text message. I stared at the picture for a few long moments before thoughts began to emerge. The first? _Damn._

"Is it bad?" asked Blaine timidly.

"No!" I squeaked, before clearing my throat and speaking again. "You look good. _Really_ good."

"This is okay to go out in?" he asked, cutting me off from saying that I wasn't gay (which really, was probably a good thing).

"You'll have all the girls turning heads," I assured nervously. _Please don't take this as me admitting I'm gay._

"Kurt, I'm n-" There was a pause. "I have to go. Guests are here. I'll text you soon."

"Okay," I said, and hung up the phone.

* * *

><p>It was at least an hour later when I got the first text from Blaine. I'd been sitting upstairs with my dad when I got it, watching some gory action movie he'd rented with him. I didn't care much for the movie – and I had no idea what it was called, let alone what was going on – so the text was a welcome distraction. After reading it, I shook my head.<p>

_Everyone is wearing boring clothes. EXCEPT MEEE! – Blaine_

_That's great Blaine – Kurt_

_I feel pretty! Oh so pretty! I feel pretty, and witty, and bright! – Blaine_

Since when did Blaine know West Side Story lyrics?

_I'm assuming there's alcohol at the party? – Kurt_

_Yuppeeerss – Blaine_

_Maybe you should stop drinking then. Have some water – Kurt_

_Water is yucky! Booze is good! – Blaine_

I had never pictured Blaine as a heavy drinker. I could hardly believe he'd be a drinker with friends, let alone with his strict parents around. These texts... surprised me to be honest. I began to question the high thoughts I had of him.

_SORRY! THOSE TEXTS WEREN'T FROM ME I SWEAR! My ex-girlfriend Ella is here (surprisingly) and I went to the bathroom and left my phone with her and she hacked it. I have a glass of apple juice because it looks like alcohol but it isn't and it tastes fantastic. She keeps saying I'm drinking but I swear I'm not. – Blaine_

_Ah – Kurt_

_The party is going much better than I thought it would be going – Blaine_

_That's good. – Kurt_

_Ella makes it bearable – Blaine_

_It's nice that you've stayed friends with her after breaking up. – Kurt_

_It took a little while, but we did end up striking a friendship. – Blaine_

_Well that's good. – Kurt_

_Being dragged to talk to people. Text you soon! – Blaine_

_Have fun – Kurt_

I looked up and went back to watching the movie, pretending not to notice the curious look my dad gave me. At this point, I had absolutely no idea what was happening in the movie. I curled up with a blanket and continued to watch anyways.

"Who were you texting?" asked my dad. I looked over at him for a quick moment, before answering replying Blaine's name. In the corner of my eye, I saw him nod. "It's good you two are friends. Are you going to meet up with him one weekend?"

"We saw each other yesterday."

"Yeah, but that wasn't planned," he pointed out.

"I don't know."

"You're going to get all the project done at school?"

"The group is thinking of going over to someone's house one night."

My dad nodded contentedly. "So you'll be going to that?"

"No. I... I don't know," I said, removing my eyes from the television to look at him.

My dad frowned. "If it's for your project Kurt..."

"We'd just be watching musicals. I've seen them all. And I don't think... I don't think I feel comfortable enough to- to go over to someone's house and spend the _night_. I just..." I trailed off uncertainly.

He turned to face me. "You wouldn't necessarily have to sleep over. You could just come back when the movies are done."

"I guess," I said uncertainly.

"Just do whatever you feel comfortable with," said my dad. "But I do think it would be a good idea if you went."

I shrugged and was about to reply, when my phone notified me of a new text message.

_People keep asking if me and Ella are dating. – Blaine_

_That's awkward. – Kurt_

_Very. Especially when you say that you used to and then they ask why we broke up and I'm not allowed to answer those questions truthfully, according to my parents. – Blaine_

_Why did you break up? – Kurt_

_I'm afraid I can't answer that. My parents would tear me from limb to limb :P – Blaine_

_*sigh* they're such nice limbs too... – Kurt_

Why I had decided to use that as my response was beyond me. Blaine didn't answer for a few minutes, which I spent waiting, terrified that he'd take it in a way I didn't want him to.

_I just snorted out my apple juice thank you very much. My parents weren't very pleased. – Blaine_

_My apologies. – Kurt_

Five minutes later.

_Kuuurt Ella keeps making fun of me – Blaine_

_Tell her to stop – Kurt_

_I have. She keeps laughing and saying it's true. – Blaine_

_What's true? – Kurt_

_Um... Nothing. – Blaine_

_Alright... – Kurt_

_So. – Blaine_

_So what? – Kurt_

_I'M STILL A ROCKSTAR! – Blaine_

_Are you sure you're only drinking apple juice? Where did that come from? – Kurt_

_Kurt. It's Pink. – Blaine_

_What's pink? – Kurt_

_No no no no no! The singer! Pink? She sings So What and I was shooting back lyrics too you. – Blaine_

_It's what popped into my head first. – Blaine_

_Get it? – Blaine_

_I see – Kurt_

_...You think I'm crazy don't you? – Blaine_

_That's quite possible – Kurt_

_Excuse me while I sob... – Blaine_

I chuckled softly at the message and set my phone down. "Um... Dad? I have a question?"

"What's that kiddo?" my dad asked. He turned to face me quickly, without any hesitation. I was positive he was expecting me to ask him something deep and meaningful, or maybe something about getting help for what happened. Unfortunately for him, that wasn't what I had in mind.

"What's going on in the movie?"

He chuckled and nodded towards the TV. "McClane, the main guy, went to his wife's Christmas party to reconcile. Terrorists take over and he has to get them out of the building."

"By killing them all? That's a little harsh."

He laughed. "A little."

I settled comfortably on the couch and began to actually pay attention to the movie. Now that I knew what it was about, I found it was a good movie, if you were into that sort of thing. I wasn't the biggest fan of blood and violence, but my dad seemed to like my company. I liked his as well. The two of us never got much time alone together anymore, so it was nice to spend time with him, even if we weren't talking.

Blaine and I texted every so often. He was often busy talking to others, so there'd be a delay between messages. I didn't mind, I preferred it even. It gave a larger sense of intimacy between my dad and I.

When the movie finished, my dad mentioned he'd rented the sequel as well. I agreed to watch it with him when he asked. I was having a nice evening, and I didn't want it to end just yet.

"I'm going to make some popcorn dad, would you like some?" I asked as he went to put the movie in.

"Is it the good kind?" he said suspiciously.

"It has reduced fat, no butter, and no sodium," I answered carefully. I liked it, but I couldn't be certain that he would. Even though it was just my dad, and I knew he wouldn't do anything to purposely hurt or scare me, I wanted to avoid any risk of conflict. By giving all the information, I hoped I was doing that.

He sighed. "I'll pass. Can I have something else though?"

I nodded. "I'll find you something," I answered. I got up from my nest of blankets and went into the kitchen, hearing my dad call out, "No rabbit food!"

"I know!" I called back.

I put a bag of popcorn in the microwave before I went to search for something my dad would find acceptable. I found some baked whole wheat chips in quick enough time and brought them out while the popcorn finished popping.

I felt my phone buzz in my pocket so I pulled it out. Blaine had sent me another text.

_People are starting to leave. I'm free! Thanks for entertaining me :) - Blaine_

Not a problem - Kurt

So what are you up to right now? - Blaine

My dad and I are going to watch a movie - Kurt

Oh! What movie? - Blaine

Die Hard 2 - Kurt

How... Friendly :P - Blaine

It's not that bad - Kurt

Haha it's a pretty good movie. I'll let you watch that with him. Talk to you later! - Blaine

Bye - Kurt

I shut off my phone before carefully setting it on the kitchen table. The microwave beeped and I took out the bag of popcorn. We were about to start the movie when the front door was pushed open and Finn blundered in loudly.

He stepped into the room and paused, finding my dad and I sitting quietly. "What's going on?" he asked.

"Kurt and I are going to watch Die Hard," explained my dad.

"I love that movie!" he exclaimed.

"Do you want to join us?" I asked. I shot a grateful look at my dad for letting me make the decision. I was unstable, and he knew that. I was fine with Finn most times, but I had gotten extremely nervous with him around me other times.

"Yeah! Just let me get food!"

* * *

><p>Monday came in a rush of classes and assignments. To assume it would be a challenging week was an understatement. I was given projects to do and essays to write for nearly every class. I was more than a little stressed, especially with the music presentations beginning Monday.<p>

It took me some time to get the idea to go back into the auditorium. Singing used to be the primary way I relaxed. I didn't want to sing in my room. Anyone could walk by, and they'd only have to ask to find out who the dorm belonged to. Once they heard my voice... It was too girly to belong to a straight male. I didn't want anyone to figure out my sexuality yet. Not until I was more confident. Maybe not even then.

I walked into the auditorium and placed myself at the piano. After doing a few scales – not having the confidence to sing in my high register – I decided to sing a full song. I did only have so much patience with scales, after all. I knew they were important, but they got boring quickly if I wasn't trying to achieve something.

After going through what songs I knew, I carefully made a decision. I didn't want to sing too high, so that ruled out a number of songs I knew. I also didn't want it to be a Broadway show stopper, so that ruled out even more. I suddenly remembered a song my mother used to love. I'd heard it so many times, it was almost natural that it came to mind.

I stretched my finders and started to play the quick melody I knew so well. I had wrong notes here and there, but I didn't pay much mind to that. When the time came, I opened my mouth and began to sing.

_Very superstitious, writings on the wall,  
>Very superstitious, ladders bout' to fall,<br>Thirteen month old baby, broke the lookin' glass  
>Seven years of bad luck, the good things in your past<em>

_When you believe in things that you don't understand,_  
><em>Then you suffer,<em>  
><em>Superstition ain't the way<em>

_Very superstitious, wash your face and hands,_  
><em>Rid me of the problem, do all that you can,<em>  
><em>Keep me in a daydream, keep me goin' strong,<em>  
><em>You don't wanna save me, sad is my song<em>

_When you believe in things that you don't understand,_  
><em>Then you suffer,<em>  
><em>Superstition ain't the way, yeh, yeh<em>

_Very superstitious, nothin' more to say,_  
><em>Very superstitious, the devil's on his way,<em>  
><em>Thirteen month old baby, broke the lookin' glass,<em>  
><em>Seven years of bad luck, good things in your past<em>

_When you believe in things that you don't understand,_  
><em>Then you suffer, Superstition ain't the way, no, no, no<em>

While playing, I hadn't realized that there was someone listening. As the song ended, I could feel the pent up stress disperse itself into nothingness. I took a deep breath and put my hands back on the keys to play again, when I heard a noise.

It was the sound of a door opening. Before the incident, that would mean nothing to me, just that someone had listened to my performance. But now, that was the risk that someone could find out who I was, and the risk that things could go back to the way they were before I transferred to Dalton. Not knowing what else to do, I bolted from the auditorium, praying to the dwarf in the magic teapot that whoever was there didn't have a chance to catch a glimpse of me.

I had no idea it was my hazel-eyed friend, who had become captivated by my voice.

* * *

><p>"So we're mostly done," commented David as I sat down at the table in the library.<p>

Wes nodded in greeting and pulled out a large stack of papers. "All that's left is the section on musicals."

"I'll get right on it," I promised quickly.

"No, don't," said David. "We can just work on it together this weekend."

"This weekend?"

"At Blaine's. It's the only time we have to do it. I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm swamped this week with work and I don't have time to watch musicals," David explained.

"What about watching musicals?" asked Blaine as he pulled out a chair beside me. "Aren't we doing that this weekend at my place?"

"That's the plan," said Wes. "You can come, right Kurt?"

"I-I um... I'm not sure... I-I have to check," I stuttered nervously. _No, no I can't._

"I think Friday to Saturday would be best," David thought aloud. "We could just take one car to Blaine's and not have to worry about getting there on time and whatnot."

"No, not Friday to Saturday," said Blaine. "Kurt has family dinners on Fridays so let's do it Saturday afternoon to Sunday morning or something."

I stared at him in shock. He remembered that? And he cared enough to make plans _around _it? No one at McKinley would put a second thought to my family dinners, let alone tried to include them in my life. It shocked me how much Blaine cared. The thought that he might only be acting didn't even come into mind. He was a nice guy, and he wasn't at all like the jocks at McKinley.

"That's fine with me," said Wes. "We'll probably be able to get more work in that way."

"That works with me," said David. "So what time, do you think?"

"We could meet at three?" suggested Blaine. "That'll give us enough time to watch something before ordering pizza."

"Sounds good," said David.

"I'll be there."

"How about you Kurt, is that okay?" asked Blaine. "If you can't stay the night, we can meet earlier, but if you can that'd be great."

I bit into my lip and looked into his eyes. I could tell he was considerate of my frightened state, and knowing him, he would do anything he could to make me feel comfortable. So I agreed.

Blaine smiled happily. "Cool! And if you need to leave or something, that's fine," he said quietly.

I looked quickly over at Wes and David, expecting to see judgement in their eyes at his comment. Because, really? What teenager is too frightened to stay over at someone's house. But they weren't even taking notice that Blaine and I were having a conversation. Instead, they were throwing paper airplanes at each other. I looked back at him and nodded jerkily.

He smiled reassuringly at me before catching David's paper airplane and ripping it in half. "Time to work children."

"You're not the boss of me!" exclaimed David.

"You didn't just sound like a two year old!" Blaine said, in the same tone of voice as David's.

I chuckled quietly as Wes put his own paper airplane away. "Should we make edits then?"

Blaine nodded and began to pass out parts of the project to each of us so that we could make corrections. I took out a red pen and began to work.

About a half hour into corrections, I could tell Blaine was beginning to feel bored. He was moving around in his seat as he read over the work, and continued to do so until David threw an eraser at him.

"Stop moving!"

"But this is so _boring_. And I forgot my iPod."

"Blaine."

"What?"

"Deal with it."

"It is rather dull," commented Wes, not looking up from his paper.

"Let's take a break!"

"We _just _started Blaine," said Wes.

"So? We're doing this all week. It won't take that long to do them all. We have the time to take breaks."

"But if we get it done quickly we won't have to do them later in the week."

"But we don't _have_ to do it quickly."

"I agree," said David, plopping his set of papers down loudly. "Let's take a break. Breaks are fun."

"Breaks are the best," said Blaine. "Especially when you have an all-day Warbler rehearsal before a competition starting at five in the morning and we're all exhausted but hyped up on coffee."

Wes and David suddenly started to laugh. "That is an hour I'll never forget," said Wes.

"Remember when Jeff fell asleep in his cereal?" laughed David. "And Blaine, you jumped on a chair and it collapsed underneath you."

"That was _priceless_!" laughed Wes.

"That _hurt_," Blaine said giggling. "I had the _biggest _bruise."

"Early mornings are always the most fun."

"That wasn't sarcastic Wes. That needs to be sarcastic," said David.

"I _like_ having rehearsals in the morning. We get so much done."

"Wes. That's because everyone is a zombie and follow brainlessly," pointed out David.

"That's definitely true," said Blaine. "But we did sound amazing during the competition. It's too bad we didn't win."

"We were against Vocal Adrenaline. Jesse St. James is a talented bastard, even though he's a pompous asshole. Plus, they can actually dance. Unlike some people," said Wes, giving Blaine a deep stare.

"_I_ was on the right beat. Everyone else was off," said Blaine.

"If everyone else is off... shouldn't that make them right and the odd person wrong?" I asked nervously, hoping that Blaine wouldn't be angry at me.

"Exactly why _Blaine_," David said, shooting as look at Blaine, "Was a terrible dancer."

Blaine pouted and crossed his arms over his chest. "You guys are mean."

"Honesty is the best policy," chirped David.

"You know what would have helped us win?" asked Wes.

"Blaine dancing correctly?" suggested David.

"Hey!"

"Having a countertenor."

"Not this again," Blaine groaned.

"Do you know how many fantastic songs we have had to put aside simply because there was a countertenor part? A countertenor could bring us to _Nationals_ if they're good enough. We could do so much!"

David rolled his eyes. "We've heard this speech before, Wes."

"Am I the only one that wants a countertenor?"

"A countertenor would be great," agreed Blaine. "But they're rare. Chances are we won't get one in the Warblers, even if there's one in the school."

"What do you mean _even if there's one in the school_?" asked Wes slowly.

"I- Nothing," Blaine said quickly.

"Blaine. If you heard someone singing, and they have a voice we need _such as a countertenor_, you better bring them straight to the next meeting."

"I didn't though!"

"Then why is your face turning red and why are you looking anywhere but at me?"

"I-I'm not!" he squeaked.

"You are," said David interestedly.

"Who did you hear singing?" asked Wes calmly.

"I-I don't know! They- I tried to see who it was but they ran off before I got a chance to find out," Blaine said, his shoulders slumping.

"What range?"

"I'm not sure... It _could_ be a countertenor. Tenor for sure."

"They were good?"

"Breathtaking."

Wes sighed deeply. "Do your best to find out who it was. There were a couple families touring the school today though, so it could have been one of them."

"It might have been," said Blaine. "I've never heard their voice before, and anyone who can sing tries out for the Warblers."

"Let's just hope they transfer," said Wes.

During this exchange, I had frozen in my seat in fear. Blaine had heard me. He didn't know it was me who had been singing, but he had still _heard_ me sing. The thought was terrifying. My voice was so high, it would only take time to put the two of them together. And then he would realize that I was gay because of my high voice. And for all I knew, Blaine _had_ put all of that together and he was just lying to Wes and David about it. I could feel myself begin to panic, but I quickly calmed myself down. If I panicked, it would be more than obvious that it was me who was the singer.

I didn't want to stop singing, but I needed to become more careful.

* * *

><p><strong>The song is Superstition by Stevie Wonder (thank you to my cousin who helped me find it) <strong>

**If you want to know more about Ella, check out a one-shot I wrote called Reflection. I posted it a while ago, and it gives you some views into her and Blaine's relationship.  
><strong>

**Thank you for taking the time to read and for putting up with my slow updates.  
><strong>

**www . google . ca/imgres?um=1&hl=en&client=firefox-a&rls= :en-GB:official&biw=1600&bih=809&tbm=isch&tbnid=HVD7VOTP_kb9jM:&imgrefurl= blog/grey-tuxedos-are-huge-in-2011/&docid=tdQZBpySsm-DLM&imgurl= . &w=700&h=1000&ei=VpPCT-KXAufdiALTwqScCA&zoom=1&iact=rc&dur=415&sig=113575033329531613198&page=1&tbnh=140&tbnw=96&start=0&ndsp=43&ved=1t:429,r:4,s:0,i:76&tx=53&ty=22 (Tux 1)**

**www . ahfashion products_ (Tux 2)**

**www . jimsformalwear images/product/342_steel_grey_ (Tux 3 (the one Blaine wears))**


	15. Chapter 15

**Hi guys! I've returned! Hopefully the extra waiting time is made up for by this monster. It has twice the amount of words as some chapters in this fic, but there was no spot to cut it, so you get everything.  
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**I know a lot of you are getting tired with the Kurt angst and want something a little new. So instead of Kurt angst, I give you Blaine angst.  
><strong>

**Big change huh? :P  
><strong>

**There is a POV change/flashback in this chapter. It's pretty easy to figure out, but for those of you who need to know, pretty much whatever is in italics is not Kurt's POV.  
><strong>

**Thank you times a billion zillion to spitsgirl18 for betaing this when I didn't want to!  
><strong>

**I don't own glee.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 15<strong>

"...And that's how you solve problems based on Snell's Law," finished Blaine. "Do you understand, or do you want me to explain it again?"

I furrowed my eyebrows, looking at the sheet of paper Blaine had been writing on. He looked at me with patient eyes as I tried to let what he had explained sink in.

"Maybe just the last few steps?" I asked. The beginning I was able to understand well enough, but I wasn't able to wrap my brain around what to do afterwards.

"Sure!" answered Blaine, putting the pencil in his hand against the sheet of paper. He went back and explained the steps a little bit slower, rewriting them out beside the ones he'd done before.

"I... think I understand," I said quietly.

"Do you want to try out a few questions?" my tutor offered.

I nodded and was handed a sheet of paper with a long list of questions relating to Snell's Law. "Do I do all of them?" I asked.

"Do a few and let me look them over?" suggested Blaine. "Just so that I know you understand. Then you can maybe finish the rest."

"There are a lot of questions Blaine."

"Practice makes perfect," he responded, his voice chipper and bright.

I held back a groan, not wanting him to think I was ungrateful. Taking out another sheet of loose leaf, I started to work on the questions Blaine gave me. I was just finishing the first one when Blaine spoke up.

"Do you mind if I do some homework while you do those? I'm kind of swamped with it tonight," he said sheepishly.

I looked up quickly and began to close my books. "No, we can do this another time if you want. I can leave-" I broke off when a hand gently grabbed my arm.

"It's fine Kurt. I _want _to help you. As long as I get working while you do the questions I'll be able to finish it all tonight," Blaine said, letting go of my arm. "And if this is your way to get out of doing those questions, not happening," he added with a wink.

I gave a small smile. "If you're sure I won't distract you."

"Get to work Kurt," Blaine said, sending me a wink before opening his own books.

I got back to work. I hadn't seen anyone else in the library, so it was safe to assume it was only Blaine and I situated in between the large bookcases. We worked quietly, only the sounds of our pencils scratching and our soft breathing filling the silence.

I finished five questions before looking up at Blaine, who looked completely focused on one of his assignments. Not wanting to bother him, I continued with the problems, feeling confident in what I was doing.

I was concentrated on the questions. The silence provided no distractions, which made it less challenging to occupy myself with the subject I despised. I took my time answering the problems, being careful to do the steps in order – something I noticed I had troubles with in the class.

"I thought I told you to tell me when you were done the first few?" asked Blaine playfully.

The sudden noise in the quiet environment made me jump high out of my seat. My pencil flew down an aisle of shelves, and I let out a quiet cry of surprise.

"Sorry!" exclaimed Blaine as his cheeks began to redden. He quickly leapt out of his seat and got my pencil for me.

"Thank you," I whispered as he handed it to me. I desperately tried to calm my beating heart, but it was to no avail.

"Sorry about that," said Blaine, attempting to run his hand through his gelled hair. "I didn't think of how that might scare you."

"It-It's fine," I stuttered.

"I noticed you were just continuing with the questions," Blaine explained awkwardly. "I wanted to make sure you were understanding everything okay."

"Oh, um, y-yes, I think, I- I think I understand what you were explaining," I answered nervously. _There's no reason to be nervous Kurt. He won't hurt you_.

"Do you mind if I just check?" asked Blaine. "Sometimes when I think I understand something, I'm doing it completely wrong."

I nodded and moved my page over to let Blaine look. He had a green pen to circle mistakes – _"Because I hate red pens Kurt. They make all your mistakes super obvious to people who just glance at your page and you feel bad about yourself because _obviously _they'll be judging you on the number of red marks!"_ – but it never touched the page.

"You're doing amazing Kurt!" he exclaimed. "These are all right! Good job!" He beamed at me and handed back the sheet.

I felt my chest warm in pride. I smiled back – less dramatically than Blaine – and felt my cheeks grow warm. Never at McKinley had anyone ever congratulated me for getting questions right. Teachers would rarely get the gay kid to answer questions, and when they did, the jocks would merely taunt me for being the 'teacher's pet'. Having someone my own age congratulate me was different, but far from unwelcome.

I continued to work on the questions as Blaine went back to his homework. There was some conversation between us this time, but, like before, it was mostly the two of us working quietly. Each time Blaine commented on something, my fright grew less and less. After about another hour of work, I stopped jumping completely whenever the peace was altered.

I was beginning to fidget in my seat two hours later – I could only concentrate on homework for so long without needing a break.

"You need a break too?" asked Blaine, watching me with curious eyes.

"A little," I admitted.

"Do you want to walk around?" he suggested. "I'm in need of a break too."

"Sure," I answered, standing up.

"We can leave our stuff here so we don't need to carry it."

"Won't someone take it?" I asked quickly. _Or vandalise it?_

Blaine shook his head. "No one will touch it. We'll just let the librarian know we'll be back."

I didn't feel completely comfortable with leaving all my things out where anyone could take them, or vandalise them. But I had to put faith in Blaine. He seemed perfectly fine with leaving anything here, and I doubted he'd made plans for someone to take our belongings while we were gone. I rearranged my things slightly, hiding what was more important and leaving the less important articles out in plain sight.

As we left the library, Blaine spoke quickly with the librarian. She seemed to like Blaine and promised that our things would be left alone. Thanking her, we left and started to wander the grounds outside in the cool, fresh air.

"So how were your classes today?" asked Blaine to start the conversation.

"They were fine. And yours?"

"Busy," he replied. "Hence the homework."

"Right," I answered.

"Are you sure you're okay with going over to my house?" asked Blaine suddenly. "You haven't been here long. If anything you went through is like what I did, I definitely wasn't ready to do something like go over to someone's house for at least a couple months longer than how long you've been here."

"I- I don't know if I'm okay with it or not," I admitted. "But I'm doing it."

"You're really brave, you know that? You have so much courage, more than I ever dreamed of having."

I bit my lip. "Not really. It took me weeks to finally feel comfortable around you. Even longer to trust you."

"You trust me?" Blaine asked with a dopey grin. He quickly shook his head and put on a neutral mask. "That doesn't mean you aren't brave. It just means that you've had experience with people hurting you, and that you're only trying to protect yourself. That's smart. And risking opening yourself up to pain like you are... I really admire you."

I didn't like where Blaine was heading with this. Did he plan for people to jump me at this exact moment? If there was a perfect moment, it would be this one. When he's talking about how brave I was to open myself up to pain. I braced myself, putting up walls around me as we walked. It had been a while since I'd had to do so, but that didn't mean my walls were any less effective.

"Oh," I answered, my voice hardened to not show emotions. "You mentioned you went through something," I added, drawing the conversation topic away from myself. I had gotten good at doing so at McKinley.

"Yeah," breathed out Blaine. "I- It's kind of hard for me to talk about."

"You don't have to say anything," I responded. He had paid me that courtesy. The least I could do for him was offer him the same option.

"No... I-I want to tell you. I trust you," he mumbled. Running a hand through his hair, he opened his mouth and began to tell me his story.

* * *

><p><em>When I was growing up my parents were home all the time. My dad always denied business trips, preferring to stay at home with mom and me. <em>

_I was his only son. His pride and joy. The person that would follow in his footsteps to take over the family business. His son who always got straight A's in school. His son who was a perfect athlete. His son who was going to have the perfect life: a successful career, gorgeous children, and a beautiful wife._

_When I got older, things started to change._

_He paid for guitar and piano lessons for me when I was ten years old. It was only one more thing to add to my perfect image for my future wife. I instantly fell in love with making music, and began to pay more attention to my music than to my other extra-curricular activities. _

_I still paid very close attention to my grades. Those I knew were important. But all the sports I was involved in: hockey, soccer, lacrosse, polo, fencing, tae kwon do, basketball, volleyball, baseball, football... They all mattered less to me. There were a select few that I continued to pay close attention to, the ones I liked the most. Those were polo, fencing, and soccer. The rest... I never enjoyed them that much in the first place, but I always liked hearing dad say how proud he was of me. _

_I began to stop going to some practices, and I convinced mom not to sign me up for certain sports again when the season ended. My dad wasn't very happy, but with the excuse that school began to get harder, I was allowed to do so. He also stopped paying for music lessons, but I had advanced enough that I could figure songs out on my own, and a teacher wasn't completely necessary._

_It wasn't the first time I had found music to be more suitable for me than sports. When I was younger, I would always prefer to sing along to the soundtracks on Disney movies, rather than go outside and throw a football. I was a bit young to be able to understand most musicals, but there were a few, such as _The Wizard of Oz_ and most of _The Sound of Music_, that I knew well. I watched those movies so many times, there were a few instances where we had to replace the VHS. When I turned five, dad stopped letting me watch them. They were too girly for little boys to watch, he told me._

_When I entered middle school, I started to realize that I was different than the other boys in my class._

_Like them, I loved superheroes and action figures. I loved playing video games, and arcades were my birthday party location of preference._

_I didn't like getting dirty. On days after it had rained, I tended to stay indoors instead of going outside to play in the mud with my friends. I wasn't OCD, I just liked being clean. That also showed in my bedroom. Where my friends' rooms were always complete messes, my room was perfectly in order, everything in its rightful place._

_I didn't like wearing just jeans and t-shirts either. I liked more... dressy clothing. Bowties, cardigans and sweater vests were what I liked the most. They still are. Mom thought I looked adorable in them. She was able to convince my dad that it was okay to let me have a different style of clothing than the other boys my age._

_I liked romance scenes in movies. At that time, I hadn't gone to see a movie with romance as its specific genre. When I went and saw superhero movies, my favorite parts tended to be where the superhero and his love interest kissed. Those were the scenes my friends always covered their eyes during. The action was interesting enough, but it was the romance that I liked best._

_They were also starting to figure out that girls didn't have cooties, that they weren't really icky. That girls were actually really pretty. But for some reason, I still thought they had cooties, and that I would NEVER want to kiss one, ever. Whenever friends asked me what girl I had a crush on, I only shrugged my shoulders. There weren't any girls that I found pretty enough to kiss, or that gave me butterflies in my tummy when I looked at them._

_But there was a boy that gave me those feelings._

_His name was Josh. We had played soccer together for over five years, and being as our last names were close alphabetically (his being Baker) we were often seated beside each other in the classes we shared. With the common interest of soccer, we had a lot of conversations. Oftentimes we passed notes to each other when the teacher was speaking. I was always the one to keep the notes though, and I quickly began a collection._

_We were in the same gym class. As I got older, I found that I really liked looking at him when he was changing. I rarely looked below his stomach, but I liked what I saw._

* * *

><p>"You're gay," I whispered.<p>

I stared at him with wide eyes. He was... He was like me. There was another boy my age that was like me. And he wasn't creepy, or sex obsessed like some people made gay guys out to be, like I _expected_ the first one I met that was my age to be. Blaine was a nice guy, my friend even. And he was like me. I didn't doubt his story. I could tell he was telling the truth. I could tell that he was _like me_.

"Yeah," he said with a small laugh. "You- Did you not know?"

"I thought you were straight."

Blaine shook his head. "I'm as gay as the Fourth of July. That- You aren't homophobic are you?"

I shook my head slowly. "No. I'm not."

* * *

><p><em>The last year of middle school, I began to hang out with my friends less. I told them that my parents were making me do extra homework, and I told my parents that my friends were busy. It started getting too uncomfortable for me to hang out with them as they talked about girls and looked through all Playboy magazines they could get their hands on.<em>

_Around this time, dad figured I was old enough to listen to the rants he made to mom about different aspects of society he didn't enjoy. Oftentimes, his rants were about the gay community. He was the definition of a conservative man, and mom completely agreed with him on every subject._

_I was slowly starting to realize that I was gay. I was one of the people dad hated so much. I was one of the people who he said should be exterminated. Having no other experience with gay people, I really started to panic._

_I stopped myself from looking at Josh in the change room, and I began to go back hanging out with my friends. I looked through the Playboy magazines with them and was able to get by without saying too much about the girls. It was easier to comment when there was a girl and guy on the same page. I could look all I wanted at the guy, and make gender-neutral comments, and they would all think that I was looking at the girl with them._

_I bought a new wardrobe of clothes from _Hollister _and _American Eagle_. I tried out for all the spots teams I could. I tried to believe that I really did want to become a lawyer or take over my dad's bank when I got older, and that the life he planned out for me was what I wanted. _

_It got harder hiding myself when high school started._

_The first day of English class, I was seated beside a girl, Ella Bentley. She was nice. The first couple days, we had an unspoken competition over who could get the highest average in the class. She was smart, which was refreshing. I found her really easy to talk to. She lacked prejudice and had an open mind, which was one of the things that drew me to her._

_My friends all thought she was smoking hot. If I were straight, I'm sure I would have agreed. She was popular, like my friends and I had become. I could see she was beautiful, but I didn't want to do any of the things that my friends talked about doing with her. _

_We started dating. I figured I couldn't know I was gay for sure without trying to like a girl. I felt nothing when we kissed, but I tried to tell myself the feelings would come later._

_High school got harder. The course load, yes, was more challenging, but it was hiding who I was that got difficult._

_I began slipping up. I wrote songs in the music room and a teacher walked in. I left my iPod in class. My friend, who decided to listen to it, found all the show tunes I had on the device. I looked at guys when I was out with Ella._

_I began to notice with some of the people I knew were regularly attacked for being who they were. Not once had I ever seen them smile. I didn't want to turn out like them, miserable, depressed and hated. I wanted to be straight, so I could be happy and comfortable in my life, at least until I left school._

_There was only one other person in the school who was gay, or at least out. His name was Erik. He lived in my neighborhood, but we never spoke. Our parents never got along, so play dates were never set up. We shared classes, as we had all our lives, but I began to feel his eyes lingering on me as I listened to lectures or worked on homework. It unnerved me. He couldn't know. I eventually confronted him about it._

"_Why do you keep staring at me, you f-freak?" I asked him with anger to cover my fear._

_He didn't answer right away. He only stared at me. "If you need to talk, I know what it's like," was the only thing he said._

_He couldn't know. All he had to do was spread the rumor and my life would be over. I never partook when my friends bullied him, but I never made any move to stop it either. He could want revenge on me for never helping him. I was terrified._

_I asked Ella if she wanted to go to the first dance of the year with me. When she agreed, I should have been thrilled, but I only felt dread. She said her parents wanted to meet me. I didn't know what, but I knew that something would go wrong._

_Her dad was like mine. He was conservative and completely ignorant. He mentioned someone trying to get gay marriage rights in Ohio, and said they should be burned at the stake. Because I said that I agreed with him, he decided to extend Ella and I's curfew. It made me sick to my stomach when he told me to call him by his first name._

_At least Ella wasn't impressed by my actions. As soon as we left her house, she confronted me. She asked why I had agreed with him. I could tell if I didn't defend myself that she would ditch me for another guy at the dance. So I told her that I didn't agree with her father, that I really had no idea why said I did._

_After the dance, the pressure of hiding myself became overwhelming. I was a completely different person behind closed doors, and it was getting harder and harder to revert to my persona when I left my bedroom._

_I eventually couldn't take it. I snapped._

"_I'm gay."_

_I was out with Ella on a date Wednesday night. We were eating the main course at a fancy Mexican restaurant when it slipped out. I immediately realized what I'd said. Not knowing what else to do, I slapped some bills on the table to cover the cost of our meal and ran. I didn't look back as I left the restaurant. I didn't know what else to do. I wasn't ready to come out. _

_I couldn't face Ella. I couldn't face my friends. The truth would have spread to every person in the school, no matter their social status at that point. I turned off my cell phone and I faked sick the next day._

_I faked sick the day after. I was relieved when it was the weekend._

_When Monday came, I knew I couldn't put off going to school any longer. I was petrified, shaking as I drove towards the building. I took every ounce of courage I had and left my car._

_When I walked into school, I was expecting to have a group waiting to throw me in a dumpster, or to beat me until I was senseless._

_I didn't expect my friends to walk up to me and treat me exactly like they did before I came out to Ella. I was... confused. Did they not care? Did they put aside their prejudices? But that couldn't have been right. They wouldn't do something like that. The only explanation was that Ella... hadn't told anyone._

_But I must have hurt her. Why would she keep something like that a secret? She could get her revenge on me for using her._

_I was petrified when it was time for English class. I hadn't seen Ella that day. It would be time to face her and I wasn't ready to do so. I walked in the room just before the bell rang. I didn't say a word as I sat down next to Ella, and she didn't say a word to me. In the corner of my eye, I saw her jaw harden and her eyes become damp. A stone dropped in my stomach. I stopped looking and did my best to concentrate on the lesson. _

_When the bell rang, she whispered that we needed to talk._

_If I had to talk to her so that she wouldn't spread my homosexuality around to the school, then so be it. I nodded jerkily, even though I was not at all comfortable with the idea._

_I agreed to meet her at the park. It was at an equal distance between our homes, and we'd met there many times before. I arrived about ten minutes before the arranged meeting time, only to find that she was already there._

* * *

><p><em>I didn't say anything as I sat down beside her on the bench she'd claimed. We were silent for at least five minutes. I was trembling from both cold and fear, but I didn't say anything to start the conversation. <em>

"_Is it true?" she eventually asked, breaking the tense silence between us._

_My vocal cords felt strangled. I couldn't speak at all, but I needed to answer her. She deserved at least that. I nodded, and I could feel my eyes water. I held back a whimper and stared at my hands. I wasn't able to look her in the eye._

"_I was- I was just your beard?" she asked. Her voice was strangled. I could tell she was trying not to cry._

"_I- I like you," I answered her. "It's just- I'm- I-" I wasn't able to repeat the words I told her earlier. I turned my head, hiding my face, as tears started to slip down my cheeks. My throat gave a strangled cry. If this were any other situation, Ella would have hugged me and let me know it was going to be alright. Neither of us were naïve enough to think that it would be._

"_I fell in love with you," I heard her whisper._

"_I- I'm sorry," I managed to get out. "I didn't- I didn't want to hurt you."_

"_You did," she said. She got up and left, leaving me alone on the bench in the cold. _

* * *

><p><em>I didn't move for quite some time. My legs weren't working and I couldn't get myself to leave the park. I was crying openly at that point, feeling lucky that there was no one there. I eventually managed to get myself to go home. I was able to avoid my parents that night by rushing straight to my room. I didn't eat that night, I only put my face in my pillow to muffle my sobs.<em>

_The next day at school, I was again shocked to find that Ella hadn't spread the truth about me to the school. If I were in her place, I would have. I was asked why Ella and I broke up by my friends. I could have said the truth. I could have told them then that I was gay. It would have been fair to Ella if I had said that, instead of responding what I did._

"_She wasn't putting out."_

_I felt terrible the second after I'd responded. That was far from the truth. But that was the answer I gave, and that was the answer they believed._

_Weeks passed. Ella said nothing about the truth to anyone, and nothing else to me. I had ruined any possible relationship we may have had, even friendship. I felt awful about everything I'd done to her, but there was nothing I could do. She moved seats in English class. I let her have her space. It was the least I could do._

_Eventually, my friends began to pressure me to find a new girlfriend. I'd been able to make excuses saying that I wasn't over Ella, but they started to push anyways. Supposedly, another girlfriend was all I needed to forget about her. I tried to deny them, as I didn't want to hurt another girl, but they were relentless._

_I was late coming home from school one day, and I noticed Erik standing by the bus stop. He was alone, and looked cold. It was December, and he wasn't wearing a very thick jacket. After glancing around many times to see if people were around, I slowly made my way over. He'd offered to talk once, and I needed that talk._

* * *

><p>"<em>Are you going to beat me up?" asked Erik as I neared. <em>

"_N-No," I stuttered out. _

"_Oh," said Erik, turning to face me. "It's you."_

"_You- A while ago you offered to talk. I-I think I need that- that talk."_

"_I'm surprised it's taken you this long to come find me," said Erik. "We can go to my place. Do you have a car?"_

_I nodded jerkily, and we made our way towards my vehicle. He climbed in the passenger side when I unlocked it, not saying a word. I got in the driver's seat and turned on the ignition. Erik immediately sighed happily as the heater started._

"_You can pick a radio station," I muttered. I pulled out of the parking lot, and started driving in the direction of our neighborhood._

"_You know where I live," he commented as I pulled up next to his house._

"_It's not that big of a deal. I'm sure you know where I live," I answered nervously. _

_There were two cars in the driveway. His parents must have been home. I started making thoughts about backing out, but Erik was already making his way out the car and towards his front door. I followed him into his house, my eyes scanning the entrance nervously for any sign of his parents._

"_They aren't here," said Erik. "My uncle drove them to the airport last night. They're coming back Sunday afternoon." I nodded to let him know I understood and he continued. "We can go in my room if you want. Either that or the living room."_

"_Wh-Whichever."_

"_We'll head up to my room then," he decided. "It's a little less exposed."_

_I nodded and followed him upstairs into his bedroom. I wasn't sure what I'd been expecting, but it wasn't this. His room was... normal you could say. I never really knew what to expect when it came to gay guys. I thought maybe they'd have rooms that were more feminine, or that they'd have huge posters of muscle men all over their walls. Erik's room wasn't like that. It was warm, with furniture in light shades of wood and deep blue walls. The room was soothing, comfortable. I felt myself relax slightly as I sat down on the edge of his bed._

"_So you've figured out you're gay," said Erik, sitting down and leaning his back against the headboard. _

"_I-"_

"_If you say you aren't I'm going to hit you."_

_I closed my mouth and looked down at the floor. "I don't know what to do," I whispered._

"_First, you need to admit it to yourself," said Erik. "Have you done that?"_

"_I don't- I know I'm _like_ you but I don't know if I've admitted it yet."_

"_If you know you're gay then you've passed that step. Now you need to accept it. I'm assuming you wouldn't be here if you have."_

"_How?" I whispered. If I spoke any louder he'd be able to tell that I was on the verge of tears. "I don't know... My friends will abandon me. I'll be tortured at school. My parents will _disown_ me. How can I accept _that?_"_

"_It's who you are Blaine," said Erik. "I'm not saying it'll be easy, or that you have to come out. Coming out is a whole different process. But you need to accept that you're gay."_

"_I can't."_

"_Yes you can. It's not going to happen overnight. I'm sure you've figured that out. But you need to be honest to yourself and proud of who you are."_

"_How? I can't- Why would I be proud of being..."_

"_Say it."_

"_Say _what?_"_

"_Say that you're gay."_

"_I-I can't. Someone-"_

"_I'm the only one in the house Blaine, and I'm certainly not going to judge you."_

"_I'm... I'm gay," I breathed out._

"_Sorry?"_

"_I'm gay," I whispered, slightly louder._

"_I still can't hear you."_

"_I'm gay," I said. "I'm gay. I'm _gay_. _I'm _gay. _I'm gay_. I'M GAY._" _I repeated it over and over, until I was yelling it at the top of my lungs. _

_As soon as I finished repeating that I was gay, tears started to flow from my eyes, and I began to break down and cry uncontrollably. I felt Erik move from his place on the bed. He came over to me and wrapped his arms around me. He didn't hush me, or tell me everything would work out, he just held me. And it was exactly what I needed. _

* * *

><p><em>I began to go over and talk with Erik more and more as weeks passed. He made sure to tell me when his parents were out, which were the times I was over at his house. My sexuality was a common conversation topic. I told him all about dating Ella, and about my home life. I told him about my interests and about who I wanted to be. He told me the same. He was very advanced in knowing when it was time to change the subject. I found we had a lot in common. Though I didn't have any romantic interest, I really liked Erik. <em>

_I always apologised when I came over to his house for not standing up for him, but he was never angry. He was understanding of my fears. He never pushed when I denied going out in public with him. I needed to take things at my own pace, like he did when he went through his acceptance process._

_He was my best friend._

_**Line**_

"_Have you ever thought about experimenting?" asked Erik one day._

"_I tried dating Ella," I reminded him._

"_No, I mean, kissing a guy."_

"_I don't know what you mean."_

"_Like, we could kiss."_

"_I... I don't think so," I mumbled. "I- Not that you aren't special, I just... I want my first kiss with a guy to be special, you know?"_

"_It's cool," said Erik. And like that, the topic was dropped._

* * *

><p><em>It was the first Friday after winter break when everything changed. I was wandering the halls at school alone, looking for my friends. I heard banging down a hall, so I followed the noise and found my 'friends' punching Erik in the stomach. <em>

"_Guys! What the hell are you doing?" I exclaimed. Taunts were one thing. I couldn't let Erik be physically attacked._

"_Showing the fag where his place is," answered Josh. My crush on him had long vanished._

"_Lay off of him," I said firmly._

"_Why? Are you a fairy like him?" another one of my friends asked._

_Everything went in slow motion. I saw Erik shaking his head, warning me not to do anything. My mind was not connected to my mouth. If it had been, it wouldn't have happened._

"_Maybe I am," I replied. "Put him down."_

_It was when all my friends, ex-friends at that point, turned to me and started to crack their knuckles that I realized what I'd said._

"_Are you fucking with us Anderson?" asked Josh._

_I felt my face grow pale. I tried to take a step back but my feet were stuck to the floor. I managed to take a few small steps backwards. _

"_You've been fucking peeking at us while we change haven't you? You _faggot_ Anderson. What, were you waiting for the perfect opportunity to _rape_ us while we slept? Huh? You played the role well Anderson. We almost fell for it. Now you get to pay for it."_

_They began to crowd around me. I was sure they would have beaten me senseless had Erik not leapt up, taken Josh's bag and ran from the scene, yelling, "Bet you won't like the football coach finding your steroid stash Baker!"_

"_Fucking- Go after him you idiots!" he yelled at the rest of his posse. "I'm coming back for you later," he threatened, before running off after them._

"_Oh my god," I whispered, before throwing up at my feet. I ran off in the direction of my car – I was in no state to stay and fight Josh – and found Erik waiting anxiously by the driver's door._

"_Get in the passenger side and give me your keys!" he yelled as I neared. _

_I unlocked the car from a distance, and did as he asked. I didn't question him. I didn't think, I only obeyed. Erik took my keys and left the lot. I didn't know where he was driving, I just knew he was getting me away from the school._

_He pulled up at his house, and led me inside. I didn't try and fight against him, I couldn't. I was a trembling mess. When he led me inside, his mom went to greet him._

"_Hi honey, how was- What happened?"_

"_I'll tell you later," he answered. "Come on Blaine, let's go upstairs."_

* * *

><p><em>It didn't even register to me that his parents were home. I let him lead me upstairs and into his room. He dug through his closet and handed me a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, and told me to go shower, mentioning that I smelled like I just threw up. I'm sure he realized I had, but I didn't stay in his room to find out. I went into his bathroom, and turned on the hot water.<em>

_I stayed in the shower for a long time. I probably ended up using all of the hot water. Erik never came and knocked on the door to ask me to get out. He let me take all the time I needed to let me get my emotions over what had occurred out. While I was in the shower, he explained to his accepting parents what had occurred._

_When I eventually got out, Erik was waiting on his bed for me._

* * *

><p>"<em>How are you doing?" he asked.<em>

_I shrugged. There was nothing much to say. My entire life had just been shattered._

"_You're a real idiot, you know that?" _

_I nodded. I didn't want to say anything. Erik got up from his bed and wrapped his arms tightly around me. "Thank you."_

"_I'm scared to go back."_

"_Well, it's the weekend. They have time to cool down."_

"_Or plan things."_

"_Or plan things," Erik agreed. He unwrapped his arms around me. "I told my parents about what happened. They said you can stay the night if you need to. Supper is in the oven and it'll be ready soon. We can either eat up here or down there. Or we can eat in front of the TV and put on a movie. Whatever you want."_

"_It doesn't matter."_

_Erik looked at me sympathetically. "I found the old Disney movies when you were in a shower. We can plug in the VCR and watch those."_

"_Okay."_

"_You said you liked spaghetti right? And you like meatballs?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_We also have corn on the cob. And garlic bread."_

"_Sounds good."_

_Erik bit his lip. "Do you want to talk about what happened?"_

_I slowly shook my head. "I just need to forget right now."_

"_Okay," he responded._

_There was a knock on his bedroom door. His mother – or that's who I assumed it was – stuck her head in and gave me an accepting smile. "Dinner is ready."_

"_Thanks mom. We're just going to put in a movie."_

"_Sure thing. You go get that set up and I'll get you boys some plates."_

_Erik gave her a thankful smile and led me into the entertainment room, where his large TV set was. He told me to sit on the couch while he went and fiddled with the old VHS player. "You can pick out which one," he said. "There's _Aladdin_, _Mulan_, _Beauty and the Beast_, _The Little Mermaid_, _Lady in the Tramp_, _Cinderella_, _Snow White_, _Sleeping Beauty_... We have most of them."_

"Mulan_ sounds good," I said quietly._

"_Cool, I'll put that one in. Do you want me to skip through previews or are you okay with watching them."_

"_Whatever is easier."_

"_I don't mind watching them," said Erik as he came and sat beside me. _

_His mother entered the room carrying two plates. His father followed carrying some lap trays for the two of us._

"_Thank you," I mumbled, as I was passed a tray and plate._

"_You're welcome dear," replied his mother. "What are you boys going to watch?"_

"Mulan_," answered Erik. _

"_Does the VCR still work?" asked his dad in surprise._

"_Yeah, it works fine."_

"_It didn't last time I tried to use it."_

"_Did you plug it in?" asked Erik amusedly. _

"_...No," said his dad. "That probably would have helped, wouldn't it have?"_

"_Let me know if you want a second helping," said his mother. "There's lots left."_

"_Thanks mom," said Erik._

_I whispered my own thanks, and picked up my fork, taking a bite of my spaghetti. The homemade meatballs tasted so much better than the ones my mom bought from the store. I watched _Mulan_ quietly, not singing along like I normally did. I finished what was on my plate a few minutes after Erik did. I hadn't been very hungry, but I didn't want to seem ungrateful to his family's hospitality. I felt a little bit better after I ate anyways._

"_Do you want seconds?" he asked._

_I shook my head, and set the tray on the floor. I pulled my feet up onto the couch and wrapped my arms around my knees._

"_We have cake if you want dessert," offered Erik._

_I shook my head again and he patted me gently on the shoulder. Erik brought our things to the kitchen, and returned with a slice of cake for himself. When _Mulan_ finished, he put in _The Little Mermaid_, knowing it was my favorite._

_By the time that movie ended, it was getting late. I uncurled myself from the couch and stood up. "I should get home."_

"_Are you sure you don't want to stay the night?"_

_I nodded. "Thank you for everything."_

"_Of course. Text me when you get in, okay?"_

"_Sure," I whispered. "Tell your mom that dinner was delicious."_

"_Will do," he said, walking me to the door. Handing me a plastic bag, he explained those were my clothes from earlier that day._

"_Thank you," I whispered. _

"_See you later man. I'm proud of you."_

_I nodded and left his house, walking over to my car. Finding my keys in the plastic bag, I pulled them out and drove off._

_When I got home, the house was quiet. After reading a note I found, I learned that my parents were out for the evening at a party, and wouldn't be back until morning. I felt relieved that I wouldn't have to face them just yet. I texted Erik like I promised and went to sleep._

* * *

><p><em>That night, and for many nights afterwards, I had nightmares. Of what happened that day, of what could have happened, of what might happen. I dreamed of my parents kicking me out, and my teachers failing me because of my sexuality. I dreamed of my ex-friends beating me up and of Ella watching, telling them to hit me harder. I slept fitfully, my blankets always being found on the floor when I awoke.<em>

_My parents were ignorant of my sexuality. They never spoke with my ex-friends' parents, so there was no one to tell them that I was gay. There were times when I was tempted to tell the truth, but each time that sentiment occurred, I chickened out. They thought everything was the same as it had been before the whole debacle, as I often told them I was going out with Josh and the rest of my 'friends' whenever I went to hang out with Erik._

_One good thing about coming out, was that I was able to talk with Erik at school without people assuming that I was gay. I _was_ gay, and now that everyone knew, it was okay to hang out with people I could relate more to. Erik and I were constantly together during breaks for protection against the rest of the student body. If they thought we were dating, it didn't matter to me. And on top of that, I could wear my bowties and sweater vests._

_There were times when I saw Ella give me looks. I wasn't sure what they meant, but according to Erik, she felt bad. Neither of us were certain what she felt bad about exactly, and neither of us bothered to ask. Her close group of friends often sent me hateful looks, having figured out the real reason why we broke up._

_My old group of friends seemed to be having the time of their lives with the fact that I was gay. Even though I was muscular, I was tiny. It was easy for them to shove me into lockers, to lock me in janitors' closets, to swirly me, to attach me to the flagpole by my underpants. I got notes stuffed in my locker telling me to go kill myself, that I didn't deserve to live. Each day was torture. Erik, though he wanted to help, was taller, but lanky. There was nothing either of us could do. _

_I talked to the school board and staff about it, but they didn't do anything. And it really pissed me off. They seemed to think that if I was gay, then this was just what I had to deal with. I kept thinking that I shouldn't be punished. I was the exact same person as I was before everyone knew I was gay. I'm sure if I was still in the closet that they'd do something about it, but because I was out, there was nothing they could do. I was absolutely miserable. I couldn't imagine what it would be like going through that alone._

_My parents were kept in the dark about my sexuality and the bullying. At least for a little while._

* * *

><p><em>Erik hadn't been at school that day because he had the flu. It had been a long seven hours and I was ready to go home and take a nap. The bullying had been rather toned down that day. It gave me a bad feeling. I knew Josh. He wouldn't lay off unless something big was coming. <em>

_I went to my locker so I could get the homework I needed and found just what Josh had planned._

_My locker had bright red letters reading 'FAG' spray painted onto the door. My lock had been forced open – breaking it in the process – making me believe the defacing wasn't the only thing that had occurred._

_I continued to walk, having found I had stopped mid-stride, and slowly made my way over. People were pointing, laughing as I made my way over to my locker. I paused before opening it, wishing away whatever damage was inside. I opened the door and found all my notebooks, my textbooks, my binders... Everything was covered in shaving gel, pop and another mysterious liquid. I bit my lip and swallowed thickly to keep myself from crying and took some of my things out to assess the damage. Everything was completely ruined._

"_Fag," muttered one of the jocks, shoving me into my locker, getting me covered in shaving gel._

"_Mr. Anderson!" I heard the principal yell. "What did you do?"_

"_I-I didn't do anything! I came to get my homework and my locker was broken into!" I tried to explain._

"_My office."_

_My shoulders dropped and I silently followed him into his office. I sat down in the chair across from him. _

"_Mr. Anderson. We simply cannot tolerate this sort of behaviour-"_

"What_ behaviour?" I exclaimed, on the verge of tears. "I didn't do that. I'm a model student. I wouldn't do that! _All_ my things were in my locker. All my homework, my jacket, everything!"_

"_Mr. Anderson. Please calm down, and do not interrupt me." I closed my mouth, and stared hard at my hands. "We do not tolerate vandalism here. But being as we don't know _who _did it, the unfortunate case is that you must pay for it."_

"_It was Josh Baker!"_

"_Did you see him do it?"_

"_Well... No..."_

"_Then there is no proof. We can't go around accusing innocent students, now can we."_

"_But I _know_ it was him! He's the one who always bullies me! You aren't even going to investigate?"_

"_There is no proof, Mr. Anderson," said the principal firmly. "Now I'll telephone your parents so they can come and we can discuss payment-"_

"_No!" I begged. "Please don't! I can pay for it myself! Please, don't call them!" If they came then dad would want to see the damage. He knew that people didn't go on and spray paint things onto lockers if they weren't true. I couldn't come out to them yet. They would hate me and most likely disown me. I couldn't have that happen. They weren't the best parents, but I needed them._

"_You don't have an option in this Mr. Anderson," said the principal. "What's your home number?"_

_I listed off my house number reluctantly, the principal dialling each number as I spoke it. I knew if I gave the wrong one that the consequences would only be worse._

"_Hello, this is Mr. Gernard, principal of your son Blaine's school... Yes, there's been a slight problem... We'll need you to come to the school... I understand that you're busy... Yes, that's perfectly fine... It shouldn't take too long... We'll see you soon... Goodbye." My principal hung up the telephone and looked to me. "They're on their way," he said._

_As if I hadn't figured that out. _

_I waited twenty long minutes for my parents to arrive. I turned when they knocked on the door. Both of them were dressed up and I remembered they had a fundraiser dinner to go to that evening._

"_Good afternoon," my dad spoke as he and my mother sat on either side of me. "What's the problem?"_

"_Blaine's locker was vandalized this afternoon, and being as we have no idea on who did it, other than a few guesses-" he shot me a look "-we will need to be reimbursed."_

_My mother gasped. "Vandalized? Oh, Blaine dear," she said turning to me and wrapping her arms around me. I tried my best to memorize the feeling of her hugs. I wouldn't get another one for a long time._

"_You aren't even going to look into it?" asked dad angrily. "There's no security cameras you could look through, no witnesses?"_

"_I'm afraid not sir."_

"_Let me see the damage," my father demanded._

_My stomach dropped. This was it. These were the last moments my family would love me. The principal stood up, my parents walking closely behind him, and me trailing a couple feet behind them. Dread filled me as we got nearer and nearer._

_My locker door was opened as wide as it could go, hiding the spray paint for a little bit longer. At that point, I just wanted it to be over with. My dad glared angrily as he looked at the internal damage, not moving in to touch anything. He was supposed to look neat, after all._

"_Is that all?" he asked._

"_No, there's the spray paint on the front as well," said the principal, closing the door slightly to let them see the lettering._

_I closed my eyes, not wanting to see their reactions. I wanted to be somewhere else, anywhere else but standing in that hall with them._

"_Fag," my dad read aloud, his voice hard as stone. "Why would they write something like that Blaine?"_

_I felt tears start leaking down my face. My dad suddenly banged the locker next to him, making a loud banging noise. I flinched and opened my eyes, to find him staring at me with a furious expression on his face. "Why would it say _that _Blaine? I swear to God if you don't tell me this is a lie..."_

_I slowly shook my head, as tears continued to stream down my face. He breathed hard. I was absolutely terrified. The hatred in his eyes scared me. It wasn't how a father should look at his son. He shouldn't look at his son like the boy he fathered is worth nothing more than trash. I could tell he was holding himself back in front of the principal. From what, I wasn't sure. I didn't want to find out._

"_Blaine..." mom began. Her voice lost all of its fondness, and her eyes lost the motherly pride that they'd had in the office._

"_We'll send a bill so that you can pay for the damage. We just need to assess the cost first," said the principal. _

"_Of course," dad said, glaring at me harshly. "If that's all we'll be going now. Blaine, come with me."_

_Weakly, I followed him out of the principal's listening range. As soon as we were out of sight, he shoved me hard against the locker._

"_So what? The kid I raised is nothing but a faggot?"_

"_I'm still the same person dad-"_

"Don't_ you _dare _call me that."_

"_Honey," said mom. "We need to go. Besides, you don't want to get your hands dirty."_

"_You're right. Let's go," said dad, letting go of me roughly. "We don't want to be late. And _you boy_, I expect your keys on the kitchen table when we get home."_

_My heart broke as I slid down to the floor. I wanted to yell at them, to make them listen and see that I was the exact same person as I was before I left for school. "But how will I get to school?" I asked, my voice wavering. _

"_That's not our problem," dad said, leaving with mom. _

_I started to cry. At that point, I didn't care that I was in school, that anyone could walk in. It didn't matter to me. Eventually, I pulled myself up off the ground and made my way into my car._

_When I got home, I cleaned everything out from my vehicle. It was my last time being in it myself, so I wanted to make sure I had everything. I put my key on the kitchen table like dad asked, and went up to my room. I cried openly as I showered, trying to get the remnants of the terrible day off my skin._

_When I was dressed in pyjamas, I took my phone and called Erik. There was no one else I _could_ call and I really needed my best friend. He answered the phone the third time I dialled his number in a groggy voice._

"'_llo?"_

"_E-Erik?" I asked, trying to keep the tears down._

"_Blaine?" he asked, suddenly sounding more awake. "What's up?"_

"_They- They know," I managed to get out. I heard Erik swear on the other end of the line._

"_What happened?"_

"_Josh- He-He v-vandalised my locker. All my-my books were ruined and he-he spray painted f-fa-fag all over the front of it and my parents have to pay for the damage and-and he _saw_." _

"_What did he do?" asked Erik._

"_It-It was like I wasn't his _son _anymore... He took away my car and he s-screamed an-and I don't know what to do..." I broke off in sobs for a good ten minutes. Erik tried to calm me down, but we both knew there wasn't much to do about the situation._

"_Blaine I want to come over..."_

"_I'm-I'm okay. Y-You need to rest. Jus-Just talk to me. I can't- I can't be alone."_

"_I'm here for you Blaine," promised Erik. "I'm _so _sorry."_

* * *

><p><em>The next morning, dad screamed at me, calling me every homophobic slur there was. He took away a few more of my belongings, and then stopped speaking with me altogether. Neither mom nor dad spoke to me for days after. The two of them ate dinner in silence, and I always came down after they were done. Our family was torn apart, and it was all my fault. Erik tried to assure me that it wasn't, but I wasn't blind. I could see what I had done.<em>

_School went on like before. Erik and I were driven to school by his dad every morning as it was on his way to work. We spent as much time together as possible, leaning on each other for support against the bullies. They had gotten even more ruthless than before. I knew that if it weren't for Erik, I would have committed suicide. _

_It was the beginning of March when I saw the poster for a Sadie Hawkins dance taking place in our gym. Stupidly, Erik and I agreed to go as friends. The idea was to show to the bullies that they couldn't control us, and that we were perfectly happy with being gay._

_We got each other corsages, and found a matching tie (for him) and bowtie (for me). We both got suits and were ready to have fun and show to everyone that we didn't care what they thought._

_Nothing happened. We thought it was going to be fine. How wrong we were._

_We were waiting for Erik's dad to pick us up. The dance had been terrible. We were all crowded in the gym, trying to dance to the latest hit song which had been played at least three times. No one bothered us, but it was easy to tell they didn't like our presence. We didn't dance close together, we hardly danced at all, but we were still the two gay guys who went together._

_It turned out that our presence bothered the jocks more than they let out inside, because we saw them begin to approach us with Josh in the lead. He held a crowbar in his hands._

* * *

><p>"<em>Erik," I said nervously.<em>

"_Yeah?"_

"_Josh and friends."_

_Erik looked over and I saw total fear cross his face. "They have bats."_

"_We're going to be attacked aren't we?"_

"_Hey FAGGOTS!" yelled Josh. "We didn't like you at our dance!"_

"_It wasn't your dance," said Erik, putting on an indifferent tone. "I'm pretty sure it would have been even lamer if it was."_

"_DON'T PUSH ME!" he screamed as he neared us. Suddenly I was grabbed from behind, causing me to let out a scared yell._

"_LET GO OF HIM!" screamed Erik, trying to get towards me as another jock grabbed him._

* * *

><p><em>All I remember was the pain. Hot, searing, blinding pain. I felt it everywhere on my body, from the tips of my toes to the top of my head. I felt like I was going to die every second. I <em>wanted _to die to get away from it. _

_According to the doctor, I had broken four ribs, my left wrist, my right ankle. I had a severe concussion, and bruises everywhere on my body. My eyes were both swollen shut, and my jaw had been dislocated. I had internal bleeding in four different spots, making me need stitches on the inside as well as several locations on my skin. I needed three blood transfusions. I flat lined twice during surgery. I had been in a coma for over a week after the incident, and couldn't talk for another week._

_And to think I got off better than Erik._

_Erik had similar injuries to mine, except along with those, his nerve cord was damaged. He was paralysed from the chest down, having only a small amount of mobility in his arms and hands. He also completely lost the ability to speak, and had serious memory loss, forgetting everything that had happened to him during high school. Forgetting me._

_His family moved to California as soon as he was able to be moved. They said their goodbyes to me, and promised that they'd call me if Erik remembered who I was. They said they didn't blame me. It would have been better if they did._

_During my month and a half long stay at the hospital, Ella visited. _

* * *

><p><em>I was slowly waking up from another nap, when I felt a presence beside my bed. For a quick second, I thought it was my parents, who only seemed to be there if the doctors had to talk to them. When I opened my eyes, I was shocked that it was Ella, who had steady tears running down her face. It was the first time I felt any emotion since my stay in the hospital.<em>

"_You're awake," she whispered._

"_What are you doing here?"_

"_I'm so sorry," she said. "I'm _so, so _sorry. If I had done anything this could have been prevented. If I wasn't so _stupid_ and _stuck up _this wouldn't have happened. I wouldn't have let them attack you. I could have stopped it from _getting_ to that point at all. God I'm so, so sorry." _

"_You weren't the one who attacked me," I muttered._

"_I should have done something when I saw them leave the gym. I should have realized they'd do something to you."_

"_What could you have done? They would have come either way."_

"_I'm so sorry I abandoned you. I just left you alone. I should have gone and helped you. I should have supported you when you came out."_

"_You were hurt."_

"_That doesn't matter! _You're _the one hurt now! I could have kept pretending to be your girlfriend and this could have been prevented!"_

"_For how long though Ella? For all of high school? What about when I eventually did come out? What would have happened then? Yeah, maybe you could have put this off from happening for a little while, but it _would have happened anyways_. You know Josh and them. They would have done this eventually. And you _did _put it off. You could have told everyone the truth right after we broke up!" My voice grew hoarser and hoarser as I spoke to her. My throat wasn't used to doing so much talking._

"_But you wouldn't have been ready to come out-"_

"_You _gave _me time to be ready Ella! This isn't your fault!" I broke off coughing, my ribs flaring in pain. When the fit subsided, Ella rubbing her hand over my hair trying to soothe me, I whimpered._

"_That was my fault," she whispered._

"_Everything else wasn't. I don't blame you Ella. If you're looking for forgiveness, you have it."_

"_What happened to your date?"_

"_He-He's gone to California. He's paralyzed, can't talk, and can't remember anything after middle school."_

"_Oh god," said Ella, putting her hand over her mouth and beginning to cry harder. _

"_It wasn't your fault."_

"_I'm so sorry, about everything. Not just what I did but what everyone else did- I can't... I'm so sorry. I never thought that this would happen to you."_

"_Neither did I."_

* * *

><p><em>I didn't cry for weeks. It hurt too much to do so. The only time I cried in the hospital was when I found out about Erik.<em>

_Ella began to bring me assignments from my classes so I had things to do while she was at school. It seemed like all of her free time was spent with me. She helped me complete assignments, getting me caught up for my return to school. She promised she'd be at my side at all times when I was there._

_The day I was released from the hospital was the third time I saw my parents during the month-long stay at the hospital. They told me that they enrolled me at Dalton Academy, a private school with an anti-bullying policy. They drove me there straight from the hospital, dropped my things off in my dorm and left without a goodbye._

_I had absolutely no idea what to do. I found uniforms in the wardrobe, pressed and hanging neatly. I found a package on my bed with my class schedule, a rulebook, a map, and other things. Everything was still packed in boxes, and having no idea how to unpack with such limited mobility, I was stuck._

_I called Ella, who left her house in seconds to help me unpack. I told her where I wanted everything to go, and she helped organize my backpack so that it would be easier to get things out for classes. I felt bad getting her to do everything for me, but she assured me it was absolutely no problem. That afternoon, she also helped me figure out how to shower with my casts. I wasn't as thorough as I could be with cleaning myself, but there wasn't anything I could do about that. We also made our way to the nurse, who promised she'd help change my bandages. When Ella left, I was alone, and I had no idea how to get back to my dorm._

_Two students found me wandering the grounds looking completely lost. I was terrified when they introduced themselves, thinking immediately that I would be attacked again. I couldn't get a word out from fear, but they seemed to figure out that I wanted to be back in the safety of my dorm. They led me there, and I immediately went inside and hid from them._

_They took me under their wing. I still didn't know who they were, so I was completely terrified every time they came up to me. They led me to all of my classes and introduced me to teachers as "the kid that just transferred but hasn't told us his name". Between classes, they carried my books for me and began to try and get me to talk, laugh, give any reaction other than fear. They were very rarely successful._

_As the school year ended, I may have said a total of ten words to people other than Ella. I started to make reactions to their actions, but I rarely spoke. When it did end, I was relieved. Surely the two of them would leave me alone the next year._

_The third or fourth day of summer, I was getting a coffee and they saw me. I immediately left the building and went to my car. I thought I'd escaped them, having done lots of detours to get back to my house, but later that evening there was a knock on my door. Being as my parents were away on the first of many business trips, I was the one to answer it. I was ridiculously terrified when I saw it was Wes and David at the door._

* * *

><p>"<em>Hello Blaine!" chirped David.<em>

_The moment I realized who it was, I slammed the door in their face._

"_Rude!" I heard Wes call from the other side._

_They came back every day that summer at random times. Eventually, I was able to say a few words to them, and by the very last day, I was able to have them in my house for short periods at a time._

_We grew closer during the school year, the two of them working like dogs to build my confidence. But it was when I – unwillingly – joined the Warblers that I finally started to revert back into my confident, proud self._

* * *

><p><em>I left my bathroom after taking a long shower spent singing Britney Spears. Singing in the shower was something I did without thinking. When I found them sitting on my bed, watching me in awe as I walked out of the steamy bathroom, I squeaked and dropped the towel covering my waist. I hid in my bathroom for at least an hour until they finally left.<em>

_The next day they dragged me kicking, screaming, and biting to the Warblers rehearsal where I was forced to audition. It was the first time I felt good about myself in a long time. Even though I swore I wouldn't go to another meeting, I found myself at the next one, and the one after that, and the one after that. It continued and I got the occasional solo – more than most members – and before I knew it, I was talking every second out of class. I was going out on weekends with friends. I was coming out to the Warblers, who only gave me looks that read things like 'are you kidding me?' 'are we meant to be surprised?' 'you thought we didn't know?' and on everyone's, 'we don't care'._

* * *

><p>I stared at Blaine in shock. I didn't know at what point either of us started crying, but we were standing in the cold, both blubbering like babies who lost their stuffed bear.<p>

"Blaine, I'm not the only brave one. You're one of the bravest people I know," I admitted.

I suddenly reached out to him and pulled him into a tight hug. It felt like we held each other for hours, though it must have only been a few minutes.

I didn't feel awkward or nervous about showing so much emotion in front of Blaine. If there was anyone I could trust at Dalton, it was him. And hearing his story... I could relate to him in more ways than just being gay.

"I feel like I ran," mumbled Blaine into my shoulder.

"You didn't."

Eventually, we pulled apart, both of us blushing lightly.

"I don't think the librarian will be happy that we took so long. The place is closing in two minutes," Blaine said, looking at his pocket watch.

I laughed. "Let's go rescue our things."

And off we went.

* * *

><p><strong>So that's Blaine's story. I honestly shed a few tears over Erik. Poor guy...<strong>

**We didn't have much Klaine interaction but there was major development. I sort of have an idea for next chapter so hopefully I'll be able to get that up next week (it is summer, meaning I have ample time to spare!).  
><strong>

**Thank you all so much for reading! I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter and I'd love to hear your thoughts on Blaine's backstory :)  
><strong>


	16. Chapter 16

**So I didn't get this up as early as I wanted to. Sorry guys! My summer is going to start getting busier now so I have no idea the next time I'll be able to sit and write. I'll do my best!**

**Thank you so much for the INCREDIBLE response last chapter! It meant a lot :) And I'm sorry to everyone who I made cry. Here are some sorry cookies.**

**So in this chapter we have the sleepover/project get tog****ether at Blaine's house. Yay! Guess what: THERE'S FLUFF.**

**Thank you to spitsgirl18 for betaing :)**

**This chapter is for Isabella1707 who helped me out a lot with ideas :)**

**I don't own glee.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 16<strong>

After having been told his story, I felt a sort of connection with Blaine that was different than any other I'd ever had. We were similar in so many more ways than he knew. Whenever I was able to assemble the courage to tell him the truth, I knew he would understand and support me in every way he could as I tried to heal and regain my confidence.

We became closer, the two of us, talking more in the hallways, passing notes in class, and other small things that normal friends did. I knew others realized something had happened. I'd heard Wes and David question Blaine about my shift in attitude. Teachers had noticed that I'd become brighter and that I participated more in class activities. There would be times that all that progress washed away, but within the hour, or the next time I saw Blaine, my strength returned to me and I wandered the halls with a more confident aura.

Because of this, I found that, even though I was nervous, I was going to be okay sleeping at Blaine's house. He would make sure I was as comfortable as possible, and if I needed to back out, he'd let me, no questions asked.

Throughout the week, I began to make myself a mental schedule of when it was safe to go into the theater and sing. It wasn't perfect though. At the beginning of the week, someone had tried to enter the auditorium while I was in the middle of a scale - I oftentimes wouldn't do much more than scales, but I got myself through parts of songs. I wouldn't try to reach anything higher than a C, but I was okay with that. I was comfortable with singing in that register, even if it was a little bit low – and I bolted at the sound of a door opening and retreated into the safety of my dorm.

Even though I was getting better, my voice was too personal to have people listen to. I wasn't sure who had heard me, and that was daunting. I had a feeling it was Blaine, but I wasn't quite sure. He hadn't mentioned anything about it, neither had Wes or David. I told myself it was probably just a teacher, but I wasn't convinced.

* * *

><p>"Are you <em>sure <em>you're okay with doing this Kurt?" asked my dad. "I don't want you to push yourself. It might set you back from how far you've come already."

I clutched my suitcase nervously. It was Saturday morning, and it was almost time for me to leave if I wanted to make it to Blaine's house on time. "Y-Yeah," I said, though I wasn't entirely sure I was.

"Kurt-"

"If- If it gets to be too much I'll leave and come back," I promised in a weak voice.

"If it's late, call me. I don't want you to fall asleep at the wheel and kill yourself. Do you understand?" At my nod, he continued. "I expect to hear from you a couple times. I know this kid is your friend but _just_ in case he's faking it-"

"He's not," I said firmly.

"You don't know that for sure Kurt-"

"I do. He- He went through a lot before Dalton. We can relate. He- He's like me."

"What do you mean?"

"He's gay dad."

"Are you _sure?_ Kurt-"

"You didn't hear his story. I know it's true."

"And what's his story?"

"That's not for me to tell," I answered. "He trusted me with it. It'd be like if you told a random stranger what happened to me. It'd be an invasion of his privacy if I told you."

He sighed. "I don't like letting you go off like this. What if something happens to you?"

"You let me go out with my McKinley friends."

"I _know_ them though Kurt! Two of the kids are complete strangers to me and the other I hardly know! I just don't want you to get hurt again!"

"Dad," I said. My voice was quiet, yet it had a strength and surety to it. "I'll be fine. I have my phone. I'll call you if anything happens or if I get uncomfortable, and I'll update you frequently. Please don't stress. Think of your heart."

He sighed and rubbed a hand over his forehead. "Okay. Text me when you get there."

"I love you."

"I love you too kiddo. Drive safely please."

"I will."

And with that, I carried my suitcase into my Navigator and put Blaine's address into the GPS. I pulled out of the driveway and started driving towards Westerville.

I was nervous, terrified even, but I felt like this was something I had to do for myself. Whether or not it would go well, I wasn't entirely sure. But I _needed_ to take a bigger step than the ones I'd been taking so far. It was time for me to take the step that could completely change my mental state back to how I was when I first got to Dalton: when I was scared that everyone would hurt me, that the school's anti-bullying policy wasn't carefully watched over.

The fact that we had specific plans on what to do that evening was helpful. It would make things easier, as there wouldn't be as many awkward pauses as there could have been. There would be fewer decisions that had to be made about what to do. Those questions bothered me. I always felt like everyone would judge me for the answer I gave, and I wanted to give an answer that they'd all accept, which was a rare occurrence.

I drove carefully to Blaine's house, listening to the GPS intently. Traffic was busy for a Saturday, making the drive take longer than it should have taken. Unfortunately, that meant I was going to be late.

I pulled onto Blaine's street twenty minutes late and stared slack-jawed at the enormous, multi-million dollar homes lining either side of the road. I passed by many before reaching Blaine's home which looked even larger than the others. I pulled up to the large metal gate which was shut tightly. There was no way I'd be able to get through, even if I had a battering ram. I noticed a button and speaker on my left, so I rolled down my window and pushed the round, black button.

"Anderson residence," Blaine's voice crackled out of the speaker.

"Um, hi Blaine," I said loudly. "Sorry I'm late. Traffic was heavy."

"Hey Kurt! It's not a problem. I'll unlock the gates for you. One sec..." he trailed off. A few moments later, the large gates started to open to allow me to pass through. I drove up the long driveway and parked beside a set of high-end vehicles. Taking a deep breath, I undid my seatbelt and got out of my car. I took my suitcase from the backseat before I made my way to the enormous wooden front door.

About a minute after I'd rung the doorbell, the door opened. David greeted me happily and moved aside to let me in. I stared with wide eyes around the entrance. A large staircase was to my left, and on both sides were hallways leading to other rooms. I took off my shoes, not wanting to dirty the spotless floors, and placed them in a small room to my right.

David led me down the left hallway into a kitchen. Top of the line appliances gleamed, and the cupboards looked fully stocked with every kind of food imaginable. There was a long island in the middle with stools on one side, which was where Wes was sitting.

"Hello Kurt," Wes greeted, as David pulled himself into the seat next to Wes.

"Hi," I replied quietly.

"How was the drive?"

"Long." A pause. "The traffic was heavy."

They nodded understandably, but didn't say anything more. Blaine entered through another door into the kitchen seconds later. Upon seeing me, his expression brightened.

"Kurt! I'm so glad you could make it!" he said happily, patting my shoulder instead of a hug. "Do you want a tour?" he asked. "Wes and David can entertain themselves for a few minutes."

"I don't want to be a hassle," I began.

"It's no hassle Kurt," Blaine assured. "Let me take your bag and I can show you around."

"I can-"

"Kurt."

"I- okay," I finally accepted.

Blaine took the suitcase from my hands, making it look weightless, and began to lead me around his house. I followed him, being careful not to knock any of the expensive decorations over. The house was even bigger on the inside than it was on the outside, if that was possible. Blaine explained what each room was, but didn't take me into every one. The few he did take me into were immaculate. They were perfectly neat and proper, but seemed to lack something.

"You have a lovely home," I commented._ The interior decorator did a fabulous job_, I wanted to say.

"Yeah, I guess," Blaine responded. "It's not really a home though."

"What do you mean?"

"It's so empty... So unlived in," Blaine explained. "Sure it looks nice enough, but..."

"I can see what you mean," I said, studying the room carefully when Blaine had trailed off. "Even though it's full of furniture and stuff... It's almost too neat, like no one has any good memories that happened here."

"_Exactly_," Blaine exclaimed. "I try to keep my room different than the rest of my house even though I'm not here that often. Otherwise I'll turn insane every time I'm here. Speaking of my room, this is it." We stopped in front of a door. Something about it seemed different, even though the door was identical to all the others down the hall.

Blaine opened it, and gently pressed a hand on my lower back to push me in ahead of him. Feeling my muscles tense immediately under the hand, he removed it and allowed me to go in at my own pace.

Blaine's room was a good size. A double bed's headboard was against one of the walls, covered by a red and tan plaid comforter. On the left was a nightstand, and on the right a small table. Beside the table was a red chair and a lamp. On the right was a closet and another door, which I assumed led to a bathroom. A desk sat in a corner of the room, and next to it was a keyboard and guitar. Across from the bed and to the left were two wooden dressers. In a corner was a coat rack in the same shade of red as the chair. There was a soft, olive green mat by the foot of his bed. The floor was hardwood and the walls were painted green, and had many framed photos and paintings. Little touches of Blaine were present throughout the room. I could tell the room wasn't often used, but it was still homey.

"I'll just put your bag here," Blaine said, running a hand through his hair. _Is he nervous?_

I put my guard up, _just_ in case, as he set my bag carefully beside the closet, making sure it was out of the way and that no one would trip on it.

"I like your room," I commented quietly. "It's definitely homier than the rest of your house."

Blaine seemed relieved by my statement. "Thanks. And Kurt- If you need to leave at any time, don't hesitate. I won't be offended. I'll even make up something to tell Wes and David, but I think they'll have an idea is something happens. They knew me before, you know? They know the signs of fear and discomfort that aren't so obvious to most."

"I know," I said. "And thank you, but I think – I _hope_ – that that won't be necessary."

Blaine smiled and slowly, giving me time to escape if needed, wrapped his arms around me. Not entirely sure how to react, I awkwardly patted him on the back as he hugged me. I was tense in his arms, but for once I didn't feel like I was being suffocated. I felt his chest rumble as he chuckled. A moment later, he let go of me and I took a few small steps back and shrugged awkwardly.

Blaine's eyes were bright and happy. "Shall we go downstairs and start watching some movies?"

A hint of a smile touched my lips as I nodded gently. "Sure," I said.

"I'm going to warn you now, I'm probably going to start singing along," Blaine joked.

"I didn't expect anything less," I said, as a larger, though still miniscule, smile crossed my face.

At Blaine's laugh, we made our way downstairs.

* * *

><p>"So what do you guys want to watch first?" asked Blaine as we made our way into his basement.<p>

It had been converted into a large entertainment room. An enormous TV was on the wall with surround sound and almost every game console imaginable was connected to it. There was a foosball, ping pong, air hockey and pool table, along with shelves and shelves of movies, albums, and video games. A closet held board games for every age. There were large, comfortable couches perpendicular to the television, facing each other, and with a coffee table between the two. Many colorful beanbag chairs were around the room. In one corner was a bar with a set of stools which was fully stocked with _off limit_ alcohol. A popcorn machine sat on the back counter, with many bags of chips of every flavour imaginable sitting beside it.

Wes and David made themselves at home, collapsing on one of the couches. I, on the other hand, stood nervously by the stairs. I wasn't sure what to do, or where to sit. I didn't want to take Blaine's spot, if he had a specific one. Blaine noticed this, and gestured me over.

"Sit wherever you want," he told me. I sat down on the couch across from Wes and David gingerly. I didn't want to make them feel squished if I sat next to them, even though there was more than enough room for me on the couch that they chose. "Do you guys want something to eat now or do you just want to wait for pizza?"

"Now!" David called out, as Wes said, "Wait."

Blaine looked at me to make the final decision. I shuffled uncomfortably at being put on the spot – there was no way I'd be able to please both of them. I shrugged, placing the decision on Blaine.

"Let's just eat later then. Sorry David," he said. "You'll have to wait."

"But I'm hungry _now_," he whined.

"Too bad. What do you guys want to watch first?" Blaine asked as he moved towards a bookshelf.

"What do you have?" asked Wes.

"I have pretty much every musical ever made – you know my family, we buy every movie available. Half of our musicals have never been watched. Actually, that's a lie. I've watched all of the musicals at least twice."

"That doesn't narrow things down at _all_," commented David.

"Well, we can start with this. How many musicals do we need to write about? Five?" Blaine asked for confirmation. When Wes nodded, he turned back to the shelf. "I think the ones we do watch should be more popular or influential, so we can narrow them down that way."

"Are we just watching five, or should we watch more?"

"We'll see," said Wes. "Pick some, since you know musicals best."

Blaine groaned. "You know how indecisive I am! Kurt, do you know much about musicals?"

"A-A little," I said nervously.

"Come help me decide?" Blaine asked, giving me puppy dog eyes. _Damn him._

Feeling Wes and David's eyes on me, I slowly got up from the couch and made my way over to the bookshelf where Blaine was standing.

"Which do you think?" he asked me quietly. "_Phantom of the Opera _is a must. Maybe _Rent_? We could watch _West Side Story_. It shows how people have interpreted books – or in this case a play – and it was an insanely popular movie. I don't know... What else do you think we should bring out?"

"Maybe _Wizard of Oz_? That one's a classic," I suggested. "_The Sound of Music _is pretty well known too."

Blaine nodded and gave me a smile. "Good idea. I'd like to watch _Les Miserables_, but there isn't a movie released yet."

"We could still write about it."

"Can't we watch a horror movie?" we heard David ask from the couch.

"We need to watch _musicals _for our _project_," Wes told him.

"_Sweeney Todd_?" Blaine suggested looking at me curiously.

"Sure."

"Let's bring _Chicago _out too. I love that movie," Blaine decided.

We carried the decided DVDs back to the TV. I sat back on the couch as Blaine went to put in the most modern version of _Phantom of the Opera_. After pressing play, he went over and sat next to me.

* * *

><p>"It's so romantic," Blaine sighed as Christine and Raoul began to sing their duet.<p>

"This is so mushy," an unimpressed David commented. "Why does she want this guy? He's a prick. The phantom is a badass, she should choose him."

"But Raoul and Christine have _history_ with each other!" Blaine exclaimed. "They were childhood friends! Isn't that more romantic than marrying a kidnapping murderer?"

"History isn't the most important thing in a relationship," pointed out Wes. "You don't need to have been friends from childhood to have a solid, loving relationship."

"So you're taking _his _side?"

"I'm taking neither side."

"But you agree with David!"

"No, not really. I doubt her and the phantom would have a healthy relationship if they were to get together."

"What do you think Kurt?" asked David.

I licked my bottom lip, having been content in just listening. I was surprised I was being included by someone other than Blaine. The three of them turned to me interestedly. "I... I think the phantom is extremely misunderstood. He really does love her; he just doesn't know how to show it. He's scared of coming out of hiding too. Learning his past makes it a lot easier to see why and how that occurred."

"Kurt!" Blaine exclaimed, looking like I'd completely abandoned him. "You traitor!" He pouted miserably, brightening when he looked back to the TV.

"Do we learn his past?" asked Wes, ignoring Blaine completely.

I nodded. "Later on."

"You've seen this before?" asked David.

I froze. "I- I had friends who-who liked musicals... Um... Th-They made me watch... watch them," I got out. Wes and David looked at me strangely, but they didn't comment on my nervousness.

"I bet his past is really badass," said David as the phantom of the opera stormed the masquerade ball.

Blaine rolled his eyes. "And how would that make you understand him? And why would he be misunderstood?"

"You can't hold back that kind of badass Blaine," David said in a wise voice.

He snorted. "I think you mean 'psychotic killer-ness'."

"No way Blainers."

"Don't call me that."

"What Blainers?"

"That name."

"What name, Blainers?"

"Blainers! God, it's worse than what my _brother _calls me!"

"What does your brother call you?"

"Squirt," Blaine replied. He paused before saying, "I really shouldn't have said that."

"No you shouldn't have Blainers-squirt," chirped Wes.

"I hate you all. Not you Kurt, you're nice," said Blaine.

A light blush covered my cheeks and I turned back to the screen. Being called out on things that could very well reveal who I was to this group... It was terrifying. As much as I trusted them, mostly Blaine, I was still scared. I wasn't really... _ready_ to explain everything to them. I would have to face everything again.

And watching this movie... I'd watched it so many times before and loved it every time. It was one of Old Kurt's favorites. Those feelings of enjoyment for musicals were coming back strong and fast, and as much as I tried to push them away, it was getting more and more difficult to. I didn't _want_ to be having a good time. I didn't want to like musicals. It would just be another thing people could use against New Kurt.

The rest of the movie was spent mostly in silence. Wes and David commented on occasion on Erik and Raoul. Blaine hummed along to the songs beside me, and I had to admit he had a gorgeous voice. When it was over Blaine got off the couch beside me and started to stretch.

"Do you guys want to order pizza now?" he asked, making his way over to the bar.

"Call now, I'm _starving_," David moaned.

Blaine rolled his eyes, but nonetheless picked up the phone. "What do you guys want?"

"How many are we getting?" asked Wes.

"I was thinking two, but that can change," Blaine replied. "We're ordering from Cottage Inn, by the way Kurt," he added, passing me a menu from one of the cupboards.

"Let's get a large Favorite and a large Bacon Cheddar Burger," suggested David.

"But the All Meat is good too!"

After looking at what the toppings were, I wrinkled my nose. That didn't go unnoticed by Blaine.

"Why don't you two decide two pizzas, and then Kurt can pick one?" Blaine suggested.

"O-Oh, I can eat whatever-"

"No, Kurt. Pick one," Blaine ordered gently. "Wes and David's options obviously don't appeal to you, and I don't mind getting something else for you."

Knowing it would do no good arguing, I turned back to the menu. "Th-The Garlic Chicken or the Greek pizza sounded good," I said apprehensively.

"Do you have a preference?" asked Blaine.

I shook my head and looked down at my hands. "Either works."

"Well, I like both. I wouldn't mind the Garlic Chicken, so I'll get that one," he decided. "Do you want wings or breadsticks?" he asked the group.

"Get BBQ wings and the cinnamon things," suggested David. "Wes and I decided on the Favorite and Bacon Cheddar Burger, by the way."

"That should be good," agreed Wes.

"Is that everything? Remember, we have tons of chips."

I nodded along with Wes and David, and Blaine dialed the number to place our order. Just over a half hour later, there was a knock at the door and Blaine rushed upstairs to get the pizza. While doing so, I took out my phone and quickly texted my dad.

_It's going okay – Kurt_

We were soon set up by the TV with _Wizard of Oz_ playing. Wes and David seemed to be enjoying themselves, chanting with the munchkins and screaming "_There's no place like home! There's no place like home! There's no place like home!"_ at random parts during the movie simultaneously. I would occasionally stare at them to see if they had a signal to say the famous line together, but there didn't seem to be one.

The pizza, wings, and cinnamon sticks were all devoured by the time the movie ended. I'd only eaten three slices of pizza and a cinnamon stick, but somehow, the three Warblers had managed to eat the rest. They were like bottomless pits for food.

When _Wizard of Oz _finished, Blaine put in _West Side Story_. After that, it was decided that _Sweeney Todd _would play.

* * *

><p>"Johnny Depp is so freaking hot," Blaine commented from under a blanket. I'd noticed that each time he got up to put a movie in, he seemed to sit closer and closer to me. It could have been coincidence, but for some reason, I thought he was doing it purposefully. I didn't know why, but for some reason I didn't mind that much.<p>

About halfway through the movie, Blaine had somehow managed to curl himself around me and cuddle into my side with his arms around my waist. My heart pounded. I was absolutely terrified that Wes and David would look and immediately assume that I was gay, or that maybe they were okay with the theory of homosexuality, but seeing it in action would disgust them and make them throw homophobic comments at us left, right and center. I stared straight ahead, not looking anywhere but at the screen. If I looked at them, they might turn to me and see where Blaine and I had ended up, resulting in the scenario my brain had thought up.

Realizing just _what_ was happening with the dead bodies, Wes and David turned to us with disgusted expressions on their faces. Looking over, I noticed they had moved into a similar position. They didn't look twice at ours, even though Blaine was gay. Maybe it was okay, or maybe they were waiting for later to attack. I repeated to myself that it was the former over and over again, hoping at some point that I'd believe myself.

"This is revolting," commented David.

"'The best pies in London'... If only they knew the ingredients..." muttered Wes, leaning his head on David's shoulder.

"I'm never going to be able to eat a meat pie again!" David exclaimed.

"You wanted horror," Blaine mumbled. "This is the closest thing we have." He shuffled his body slightly so that I was forced to rest my head on his chest.

I was tense, and I was sure he could tell. But I didn't say anything. If I asked him to stop touching me, it could very well offend him. Though I was sure saying so wouldn't hurt him, I didn't want to risk losing the only... the _closest_ friend I had at Dalton. So I laid stiffly in his arms, waiting for a chance to free myself. Even though I was certain he could tell how uncomfortable I was, he didn't move, or let me move.

"What next?" asked David with a yawn.

"How about _Rent_?" suggested Blaine, unwrapping his arms from around me and going over to the DVD player. He took out _Sweeney Todd_, and replaced it with _Rent_. When he returned, he sat close to me, but wasn't wrapped around me like before.

A quarter into the movie, Blaine and I heard a loud snore. We had ended up in a similar position as during _Sweeney Todd_, but this time with a shared blanket covering us up. Looking over, we found Wes and David fast asleep. If I didn't know better, I'd think that they were a couple.

This relaxed me slightly. I was positive that they were okay with Blaine and I's position – Blaine didn't seem to worry – and they didn't seem to have any issue with cuddling themselves. _They aren't going to attack you_, I told myself. _They would have attacked Blaine long before you met him if they were disgusted._

"_Rent _isn't that boring," Blaine said quietly.

"It's pretty late," I answered. "Or early, depending on how you look at it. They might just be tired."

"True," he said. "But usually it's me falling asleep first."

"Not this time."

"No, not this time."

"I should put their hands in warm water."

I laughed quietly. "I don't think they'd appreciate that very much."

"They've done it to me the last four times they've been over!"

I laughed harder, and Blaine in retaliation, poked me gently in the side repeatedly. Being as my sides were ticklish to a certain extent, it made me laugh harder. I leaned forward and tried to get away as I giggled loudly. His arms tightened, making it difficult for me to move. I squirmed wildly as I tried to free myself, laughing all along. I wasn't freaked out, even though Blaine's grip was strong. My past never even came to mind. It was just Blaine and I.

I managed to kick him in the shins. As soon as his grip loosened a fraction, I started to escape his arms. As I rolled off the couch, his arms began to tighten around me again to try and bring me back up, but I had rolled too far off the couch. I landed with a large thump, not seconds before Blaine landed on top of me.

I was able to roll onto my back, throwing him beside me. Both of us were out of breath, yet we were still able to continue to laugh. After a few seconds, we quieted. We looked over at each other with wide grins on our faces, and laid in silence as we regained our breath.

"You look beautiful when you smile," mumbled Blaine. His eyes, sparkling with joy, widened comically, "I said that out loud, didn't I?"

Blushing hard, I nodded and looked away. I bit my lower lip, stopping myself from smiling wider. Aside from referring to clothes, no one had ever called me anything close to attractive, let alone _beautiful_. I'd always thought that it would be degrading, being called that, but it wasn't. It warmed my gut in a way being called handsome or attractive couldn't. My stomach felt strange, but for once it was in a good way.

"I- I'm sorry Kurt. I don't want to make you uncomfortable. It's just nice to see you smile so big. You rarely do, but you should. I'm sure you have your reasons not to but you should find more reasons to smile because you look really nice when you do- Crap, this is probably making things worse-"

"No one's ever called me beautiful before," I said quietly, cutting off Blaine's ramble. "I'm always told I look ridiculous or that I look like a girl... People never say that I'm beautiful."

He quieted. After a pregnant pause, he said, "Well, they should."

We laid there quietly until _La Vie Boheme _started playing. Not speaking, we made our way back up to the couch and sat a few feet away from each other. For some reason, my body craved to be closer to Blaine. Was it because he'd called me beautiful, or was it for another reason? The other reason that I'd been pushing far away?

Neither of us seemed to be able to control ourselves, because the next thing I knew, Blaine and I were lying in a similar position to before, except with the blanket long forgotten on the floor.

"Kurt?" Blaine said quietly, ending the peaceful silence that had fallen between us. "Can I ask you something?"

"What?"

"Don't answer this if you don't want to, but I've- I've been curious. Why... Why did you transfer to Dalton?"

I froze, my muscles tensing as the question I'd been fearing was spoken aloud. Part of me wanted to run and hide, and not even consider answering. But the other part, the part that I chose to listen to, _wanted_ to tell him. He'd been so brave opening himself up to me, it was only fair that I do so to him.

I opened my mouth to tell him everything, like he had done with me. But as soon as I was ready to speak, my vocal cords froze and I was unable to get anything out.

"Kurt, if you don't want to tell me-"

"I _do_, I just... I can't," I mumbled, burying my face in his chest.

"You don't have to say everything," he mumbled, stroking my back comfortingly. "Just what you can."

"...I'm gay, and there- there were some people at my old school- that didn't- they didn't like that I was... that I was different."

I hardly scratched the surface, but already I felt like I could do just about anything.

"Thank you for telling me," Blaine murmured, as he rubbed my back soothingly. "Thank you for trusting me."

I nodded, not being able to say anything else. The back rub Blaine gave me started to relax me. He put so much care into his movements, making sure each part of my back got equal attention... it made me feel loved. I felt like a pile of clay, being molded and shaped into something precious. By the end of the movie, I was fast asleep.

* * *

><p>The next morning I felt rested, more so than usual. After revealing a small bit of my past to Blaine, I had anticipated a sleep full of night terrors. I couldn't remember what I had dreamt, but I knew they weren't bad dreams. They were <em>good<em> dreams. Even before the incident, my dreams were rarely good.

I shuffled to release my numb arm of the task of being rested on. I was lying on something firm, but surprisingly warm and comfortable. There was music playing in the background, with loud noises disrupting it. After a few minutes of trying to fall back asleep, I opened my eyes.

Wes and David were sitting across from me, both of them with a video game controller in their hands. _That explains the sounds_, I thought. I realized that I was at Blaine's house, in his basement, on one of the couches.

"Beat that mother-"

"Dude _shut up_," Wes whispered loudly, covering David's mouth with his hand. "You're going to wake them."

David glanced over my way. Realizing I was awake, I saw his lips form an 'oops'. "Sorry Kurt."

"It's fine," I mumbled. I started to try and move off the couch, but something was holding me back. I was able to maneuver my head up to look at what I was laying on. Almost immediately I tried to retreat because it turned out I had fallen asleep on Blaine, and his lips were _right there_.

_Stop thinking about his lips Kurt_, I quietly scolded myself.

I slowly began to adjust my body so I could escape Blaine's grip. As I tried to move out of it, his arms tightened again.

"No, stay," he mumbled sleepily. "Warm." I blushed bright red, but allowed myself to relax back into his grasp. He sighed happily and fell back to sleep. I fell back asleep soon after, Wes's smirk at the front of my mind.

* * *

><p>The next thing I knew, I was being shaken awake. I gasped and sat up straight, panting hard. That sleep hadn't been so peaceful. I rubbed my eyes quickly to remove any traces of tears. As I did so, I felt an arm wrap around my shoulders and a soothing lullaby being hummed in my ear.<p>

"You okay?" the hummer – Blaine – whispered.

"F-Fine." My fierce trembling had made my voice stutter. "I'm f-fine."

"Can I get you anything?" asked Wes, who was kneeling in front of me.

I quietly shook my head as I got my brain to catch up to reality. _I'm not at McKinley. I'm safe here. I'm not at McKinley. I'm safe at Blaine's I'm not at McKinley. _I repeated the words like a mantra, trying to get myself to – unsuccessfully – relax.

"S-Sorry," I mumbled as I relaxed at an agonizing pace.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Blaine asked quietly.

I shook my head again and pulled away from his grip. "I'm going to go to the washroom," I told them. I left before they could give me any reply.

In the washroom, I splashed my face with cold water. My hands were still shaking. I spent longer than normal breathing deeply and wiping away all the memories trying to escape their feeble hold in my mind. A knock on the bathroom door made me jump. Slowly, I turned back and opened it.

Blaine, standing with my suitcase, smiled uncertainly at me. "David brought your suitcase down... I don't know if you take anything after the nightmares or have something specific to calm you down, but if there is I assumed it'd be in here..."

"Thank you," I mumbled, taking my bag. "I'll just get dressed..."

"Right! Of course! If you need anything let me know," he offered. "We're going to head upstairs and start breakfast. Does bacon, eggs and toast sound okay? I can make something else too..."

"That-That's fine," I mumbled. "Thank you Blaine."

Smiling a little bit wider, he nodded. "Of course. We'll just be in the kitchen. You remember where it is?"

I nodded and closed the bathroom door, and got myself dressed and ready for the day. I placed my suitcase by the couches and made my way back upstairs into the kitchen. Blaine was dancing on the island while Wes and David sang along to the radio. Seeing me enter, Blaine slipped off the island onto the hard, tiled floor.

"Blaine!" I exclaimed, rushing over, helping him up off of the ground.

"That is a perfect example of why we don't jump _or dance_ on furniture," Wes scolded, walking over to Blaine.

"I think I bruised something."

"_No kidding_," I heard David mutter.

* * *

><p>We arrived back at school that evening. We'd finished the project just before dinner. After a short videogame tournament between the three of us in which I came out as winner – the one good thing of having Finn force me to play videogames – we went out to a restaurant and ate before heading back to Dalton. Declining to go into Blaine's room to watch another movie, I went into my own dorm and relaxed under a hot shower, reading until I cried myself to sleep over Sirius Black's death.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Pizza Place: www . cottageinn menu**

**Thank you guys so much for reading and reviewing! I love to hear from all of you! :)**


	17. Chapter 17

**I have had the worst case of writer's block the past two months. I know I told all the people who reviewed last chapter, but for those who didn't, absolutely nothing would come out when I tried to write. It was awful. When it finally started to go away, school restarted and I had no time. I am INCREDIBLY SORRY. I will NEVER take this long to update again. I hope I haven't lost readers.**

**Last chapter Kurt went over to Blaine's to finish the project and watch musicals with Wes and David.**

**This chapter is really song-heavy. I also expected it to be longer, but oh well. It's done. This is also a REALLY IMPORTANT CHAPTER. THERE IS VIOLENCE AND HOMOPHOBIA.**

**Enjoy.**

**I do not own glee.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 17<strong>

I woke up far too early Monday morning. It hadn't hit me until sometime while I was sleeping that I would have to go up to the front of the class and present the project. Blaine, Wes and David would be right beside me, but that didn't settle the bundle of nerves that had formed in my gut.

I would have to speak in front of the class. She hadn't mentioned anything about it, but _what if she made us all sing?_ If someone heard me sing in the auditorium, they would automatically connect my voice with the countertenor. _Blaine_ would connect my voice to the countertenor he'd heard singing. No doubt he would be hurt and angry at me for keeping my voice a secret and for not speaking up when he mentioned the countertenor. On top of that, I had blatantly lied about being a singer to him. Blaine was tolerant about many things, but for some reason I didn't think he would appreciate the fact that I had lied to him.

"Are you okay?" Blaine asked me when I sat down in Literature. "You're looking really pale. More than usual, that is."

"F-Fine," I muttered.

"Kurt?"

"Just- Just nervous, I guess."

Blaine gave me a small smile and rubbed my shoulder. "It's just a presentation. I'll be right next to you. I can always take over, and if it helps you can stand behind me if you need a break."

"I'm taller than you Blaine, I don't think that would work out very well," I joked nervously.

"Oh hush you," Blaine said, grinning. "I thought you were above short jokes."

"I'm certainly above you in any case," I replied. My nerves began to fade away, replaced by amusement. Whether or not this was Blaine's plan all along – if he had one – it was working.

"That hurts!" he exclaimed, hitting me playfully on my arm, laughing nonetheless.

* * *

><p>My nerves came back stronger than ever by the time fifth period came around. There had been an extra Warblers practice at lunch so I was forced to sit alone in my dorm with nothing but my thoughts to keep me company, all of which kept turning to the worst possible 'what if'.<p>

We were first called to present. Wes, David and Blaine walked up confidently. I trailed behind them with my head down. My hands were shaking, so I quickly clasped them together, hoping it would help.

My voice was quiet as I stumbled and stuttered through half of my words during the presentation, but I managed to get finish it without having a breakdown. I was certain she'd dock us presentation marks, but neither Blaine, David nor Wes seemed to mind. They seemed pleased by the fact that I'd managed to present my parts at all.

We handed in our material when we finished. She gave me a proud smile as I returned to my seat. I gave her an awkward nod, unsure of how to react. I hadn't done as wonderful as she seemed to think. I listened politely to the rest of the presentations, clapping when they ended. I didn't raise my hands to ask any questions.

"You did great Kurt!" Blaine exclaimed when the bell rang.

"I wasn't that good," I muttered, packing up my things.

"That was the first time I've ever seen you talk in front of a group like that-"

"That doesn't mean I was good."

"It means that you're changing. Would you have done something like that right after transferring here?"

"Are you really asking me that?"

Blaine chuckled. "Exactly. But you went up there and did it today."

"I didn't really have a choice."

"You still did it," Blaine said. He winked at me before heading off to his next class.

* * *

><p><em>I've heard there was a secret chord<em>

_That David played, and it pleased the Lord_

_But you don't really care for music, do you?__  
><em>

_It goes like this__  
><em>

_The fourth, the fifth_

_The minor fall, the major lift_

_The baffled king composing Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah__  
><em>

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

_Your faith was strong but you needed proof__  
><em>

_You saw her bathing on the roof__  
><em>

_Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you__  
><em>

_She tied you__  
><em>

_To a kitchen chair__  
><em>

_She broke your throne, she cut your hair__  
><em>

_And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah__Hallelujah, Hallelujah__  
><em>

_Hallelujah, Halleluja__h_

_Maybe I've been here before_

_I know this room, I've walked this floor__  
><em>

_I used to live alone before I knew you__  
><em>

_I've seen your flag on the marble arch__  
><em>

_love is not a victory march__  
><em>

_Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah__  
><em>

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

Suddenly I heard a noise. I stopped singing immediately and listened with as much caution as a deer to my surroundings. After a few moments, I was able to deduct that it was someone in the hallway standing by the door I always entered. I stood frozen on the piano bench, too scared to move. There was always a chance that I'd make a noise moving it back if I left, or that I'd trip on something non-existent on the stage and fall. Whoever was out in the hall might hear me, and then of _course_ they'd investigate. Then they would find me.

And then the person outside the auditorium started to talk.

It was Blaine.

"Um... Hi. My name's Blaine Anderson. I'm in the Warblers – _not _that I'm here to recruit you. I mean – it'd be great, _amazing_ even if you _did_ want to join, but if you don't, that's okay! I mean, you must sing alone for a reason right? So yeah. Um... I've been listening to you sing for a while now and I've kind of fallen in love with you. Voice. With your voice. Not you, that would be weird. I don't even _know _you but at the same time I do, you know? The songs tell a lot and your voice has such story to it... Oh geez... it sounds like I'm stalking you. I'm not! I just happen to go to the bathroom during every Warbler practice to listen to you _I am not stalking you_. _God_ can I be any creepier? I haven't told anyone about you... I mentioned you to Wes, David and Kurt once, but they think you were just there for the day, so they aren't looking for you or anything. Um... So yeah. I really like listening to your voice. I try not to disturb you but that didn't work out this time, obviously. Um... I really hope you're there and haven't left. I feel really weird talking to a door like this, but I don't want to scare you off again if I haven't already. So... Are you there?"

Slowly, my limbs began to unfreeze. Blaine hadn't mentioned the countertenor – me – since the first day he heard my singing. That was relieving. I believed that he hadn't told Wes or David. But there was absolutely no way I was going to talk to Blaine. My voice was too unique, he'd be able to tell my identity almost immediately. He seemed to have figured out quickly that there was no way I'd speak.

"Right! You probably don't want to talk to me, do you? Um... Maybe you could whistle or something? Not everyone can whistle though... Oh! You can knock on the door! If you're there maybe knock? Then you won't have to talk."

After a long period of consideration, I moved soundlessly off the piano bench and towards the door Blaine was standing by. Moving so that my feet were invisible under the crack of the door, I lifted my hand to knock, but I hesitated and Blaine began to speak.

"Okay... So you aren't there anymore. I wouldn't be, I'd have left to. _Why_ am I still talking? I'm just going to go..."

Without thinking I knocked once on the door.

"Oh! You are! Great! So how are you? Wait – you won't answer that will you?"

Slowly, carefully, I knocked again on the door.

"That's okay! I'm going to assume you're doing well. I'm doing well too." Blaine paused. "You have a really nice voice. Countertenors are rare. Good ones even more so. The Warblers would love to have you, but what they don't know won't hurt them. Well, it might in competition, but, you know. Would you ever consider joining the group?"

I knocked once, a light tap, to try and convey some possibility of the situation coming into existence. At the current moment, the answer was a solid no. I needed to regain confidence, needed to put my voice back up to par, needed to reassure myself that my voice did not sound girly, but unique. But in the future... In the future maybe I would audition for the Warblers.

"Really? There's a meeting on now! I can take you and you can audition!" Blaine exclaimed excitedly.

Quickly, I knocked twice on the door. Unlike the previous knock, these two were firm, definitive. They weren't at all tentative and shy. There was absolutely _no way_ I was following Blaine to the Warblers audition.

"Does two knocks mean no?"

One knock.

"Okay then. That's fine. Maybe later?"

One knock.

"Right. So, um, I should probably go back to the meeting... They'll think I'm constipated and _that_ always makes for an awkward conversation. Um... I enjoyed talking to you. Would... Would it be possible to maybe do this again?" Blaine asked, his voice going quiet and shy. "I- It's up to you but... I'd like to keep talking to you."

I paused, and considered his question. I could say no, and he could leave me alone and we could never be placed in this situation again. He wouldn't be hurt when he found it was me, but he would be hurt now. I also couldn't guarantee that he would stop listening in on me. Or I could say yes and make him happy, but risk hurting him later. I didn't know what to do. So I knocked three times.

"You don't know?"

One knock.

"Well... I can understand how you feel. Um... Maybe I'll start talking one day and you can answer or not answer... I don't know."

I knocked once. That... I thought that would work.

"Okay! Cool! I'll wait for your knock then?"

I knocked once and a small smile crossed my face. I could picture Blaine grinning widely on the other side of the door, and the quiet _tap tap tap_ I heard made me think he was rolling on the balls of his feet in excitement.

"Great! Bye... What should I call you? Voice?"

I held back a tiny giggle and knocked once. The name was unoriginal, but there was no link in the name to me whatsoever. Everyone had a voice, whether they could speak or not, after all.

"I'll see you later then Voice, or, hear you I should say. Um, you know what I mean."

* * *

><p>It was against my better judgement, but the next time I heard Blaine talking at the door, I knocked.<p>

This repeated every day that Blaine had Warblers practice. The days he didn't, we sat together in the library doing homework. I did notice, however, that Blaine would always excuse himself to the bathroom around the time that we would talk on the days he had Warblers. He always came back with a mask shadowing his disappointment. If I didn't wear my own masks so often, I wouldn't have been able to pick up that anything was different.

Once or twice, I questioned his change in schedule to see if he would reveal anything about the mysterious singer he was speaking to. He tended to respond that he had a lot to drink earlier in the day. He kept the Voice's request to keep himself a secret. I didn't expect him not to, but it was good to have the confirmation.

Blaine told the Voice everything; everything but the more private information he knew about me. He'd mentioned me multiple times, often saying his worries about me keeping so much hidden, but he never once told the Voice anything that he knew to be true about my past. He kept the secrets I requested him to, and he never tried to push my boundaries. He respected my wishes for anonymity, and for those reasons, I continued to return his comments with my knocks.

"You know, you're nice to talk to Voice," he said one day. "You always listen to me and my rambles. I don't really have the opportunity to do this with anyone else I know. Sure I could talk with Wes and David, but they always try and give me suggestions on what to do. That's not always what I need. Sometimes I just need someone to listen, you know?"

I understood. I knocked once.

"Thanks Voice. So we've been working on Christmas songs, even though Christmas is four weeks away. We're going to go around to different classes and sing Christmas carols the last day before break. We'll be raising money to buy kids Christmas presents. We'll be going to a shelter. Wes promised that he would dress up as Santa and give the kids the presents himself. A couple guys are bringing instruments so that we can sing normal songs after the carols. I'm supposed to help out as an elf, according to David. It'll be fun, even though I'm pretty sure they're making fun of my height."

I smiled and knocked once. It seemed like something David would suggest. The idea of giving back to the community was good of the Warblers to do. I knew they visited nursing homes and whatnot, but dressing up for children on Christmas was something completely different. They would probably make Christmas the best day of the year for the kids, as it should be. But for the families they would be singing to, it wouldn't be the case without the help of the Warblers.

"Hey, maybe you could come! Even though you aren't in the Warblers, you have a great voice!"

I knocked twice. As much fun as it sounded, I wouldn't be able to go. Doing so would reveal my identity. Even though I trusted Blaine, I didn't trust him enough to reveal that it was my heart, soul and voice he found so captivating.

"Okay," Blaine replied, sounding disappointed. "I get it. I just kind of wanted to sing a carol with you. Wait- Maybe we could! We could do it now! I could sing on this side of the door and you could sing on the other side! What do you think?"

Aside from when he listened before I realized he was there, he had never heard me sing. I always stopped my performance when he arrived, too worried that he would connect my speaking voice and my singing voice if he listened to me too much. But I had to admit, I was curious on how our voices would blend together. I hadn't thought much about it, but when I did, I realized I was strongly tempted to test it. Too weak to resist it, I knocked once.

I could hear Blaine's wide grin when I accepted. "Awesome! Let's choose a song! Do you know Baby It's Cold Outside? It's one of my favorites and we'd be able to sing it together."

It was one of my favorites as well. Singing it with a boy as Christmas neared was always something I fantasized about. After brief consideration, I knocked once on the door.

"Awesome!" Blaine exclaimed happily. I have the karaoke version on my iPod. One second just let me get it set up... Are you ready?"

I knocked once. As the introduction, muffled by the door between us, began to play, I took a few deep, calming breaths as butterflies fluttered in my stomach. _It'll be fine, _I told myself. When my cue to start singing occurred, I opened my mouth and let the melody fall from my lips.

"_I really can't stay_," I sang. My voice was shaky and uncertain, reflecting my thoughts on the current situation.

"_But baby it's cold outside_," Blaine sang back in his all too dreamy and confident voice. Even though the door was muffling the volume of his voice, it was clear and strong. I could tell he was singing quieter than he normally did, even with the door between us. I was certain it was so that he didn't draw attention to our performance.

"_I've got to go away_."

"_But baby it's cold outside_..."

We sang our lines back and forth. As the song went on, I became more confident that the situation wouldn't turn into a disaster. I started to sing louder, and I managed to add a small bit of playfulness and commitment in my voice to fit my part of the song. Blaine was perfect throughout the number. He was playful, pleading and persevering as he tried to convince me to stay with him. I could almost see his puppy dog eyes and his pouting lip as I repeatedly declined his invitation to stay longer.

As we sang the last harmonies, our voices fit together like puzzle pieces. They were a perfect fit for each other.

"We sound really good together," Blaine said bashfully as we caught our breaths.

"Y-" I began to say, but quickly stopping myself. I knocked once before rushing out of the theatre.

_Are you stupid Kurt? You can't talk when he's right there! He'll realize it's you! You need to sing when it's private, or at least when it's anonymous. _

* * *

><p>"This place has such good coffee. I feel bad for coffee-lovers who live at too great a distance to experience the holiness that is the Lima Bean," Blaine said seriously. "This coffee is far too delightful to be unheard of."<p>

I threw my head back and laughed. "Why are you talking like you're a 50's heartthrob?"

"You think I'm a heartthrob?" asked Blaine, tilting his head at me.

"I- No! You aren't- I mean-"

"I'm joking, Kurt," he responded with a playful smile.

"Right," I muttered after taking a deep breath.

"As I was saying, the Lima Bean has the best coffee I've ever tasted. That includes all the shops in New York, California, and wherever else I've had coffee."

"It's the one good thing in Ohio," I said.

"I'll raise my glass to that," Blaine said, lifting his cup to eyelevel.

"I'm pretty sure that's made of styrofoam, not glass," I giggled, holding up my coffee cup nonetheless.

"You're so _literal_ Kurt!" Blaine exclaimed.

"Well, well, well," a voice said behind us. "Would you look at this?"

My gut clenched and I froze in my seat. Not here. Not now. Not when I was finally making progress. A cold, bitter chill coursed through my body. I could feel my heart begin to pound louder and louder as my fist clenched around my coffee cup with a strength that I didn't know I possessed. I could feel my arm begin to tremble, the liquid sloshing around in the cup. I began to hyperventilate as I tried to make myself smaller and smaller. I knew that voice. I didn't want to hear that voice.

"If it isn't the flaming fairy. I've missed you at McKinley. There are no other fags to play with at that loser school and no one else is as fun to beat on," Braden sneered, coming into my line of vision. "It was hilarious watching you fall for me. Queers like you will fuck anything that shows an interest."

"Hey!" Blaine exclaimed, standing up. "Lay off."

Braden's eyes roamed up and down Blaine's small stature. Even though he was at his full height, looking menacing, he was tiny compared to Braden. "Aw, isn't that sweet," he mocked. "Hummel has someone to take it up the ass with."

"Why don't you just shut up and leave us alone? We weren't bothering you!" Blaine exclaimed.

"Oh, but you see, you were. I'd rather not throw up when I'm trying to get a coffee for myself."

"Yet you were looking," Blaine said, shrugging his shoulders. "What does that say about you?"

"You disgusting faggot," Braden snapped, yanking Blaine closer towards him. "Are you saying I'm a homo?"

"If the shoe fits," Blaine replied confidently.

A sudden smack reanimated me from my petrified state. I saw Blaine being thrusted against a wall by his shirt collar. My attention was drawn to a red mark glowing on his cheek like a lighthouse leading boats in. His eyes were wide like a frightened animal's. They darted around the silent cafe, all who were staring at the scene in shock.

"You still say I'm a fag?" Braden said angrily, shoving him hard against the wall.

I expected Blaine to say no. I expected him to give the answer Braden wanted so that he wouldn't be injured any more than he was.

"You don't have to be weak to be gay," Blaine replied. There was a determined fire in his eyes. He wouldn't back down.

"You-"

"Stop it," I whispered. "Please let go of him."

Braden paused in his actions. When he turned around to face me, a twisted smile was playing on his lips. "You want me to let go of him?"

Behind him, Blaine was shaking his head at me. He knew just as well as I did what would occur if Braden let go of him. "Please," I said anyways.

Braden smirked and dropped Blaine to the floor. He walked over to me in a few long strides and pushed the chair I was seated on to the ground. I tumbled down with it, landing on my hands and knees.

"I bet that's is a position you know well, isn't it?" he leered. "Especially since you go to some fag school now."

I didn't respond. I had no answer to his question. I blinked away the tears forming in my eyes. My lack of response infuriated my tormentor. A shark kick to my stomach made my trembling arms begin to lose their strength to hold me up. My lack of response infuriated my tormentor. Another kick to my stomach made my trembling arms give into my weight. I whimpered as I landed uncomfortably on my right shoulder. I was dragged up again by my shirt collar.

"When I ask you a question, I expect an answer Hummel. We went over this, as I'm sure you remember. Now answer me: You must have been comfortable on your hands and knees, am I right?"

"Y-Yes," I replied, gazing to the floor as I gave him the answer he wanted. Ashamed tears started to leak out the corners of my eyes.

"Oh, the little fairy is crying, the poor thing," Braden sneered, pulling his arm back to hit me again.

"Let go of him!" the only employee exclaimed. She looked just over five feet tall and didn't seem to have much fat or muscle. It was no great question why she took so long to step in. "Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave the premises."

"See, I'd listen to you, but I'm in the middle of something right now."

"I don't care if you're in the middle of something or not. You need to leave!"

"What, you're going to make me?" he said, dropping me and turning to her. He stared down at her with an amused look in his eyes.

"_I_ can't. But if you don't escort yourself off our property, I'll call the police and _they'll_ escort you off the property," she replied. She was obviously nervous as her voice squeaked at the end of her sentence. It was effective anyways.

I crouched myself against the wall as Braden left, sending me a harsh message with his eyes. _I'm not done with you yet_. Braden drove off in his Hummer with the knowledge that if he stayed the law enforcement would bring him to the station. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Blaine being helped up by one of the customers. He looked my way and began to rush towards me. I quickly got to my feet and stumbled out of the coffee shop, half out of my mind in shock.

I reached my Navigator, ignoring Blaine's voice calling my name, and pulled away. I knew it wasn't safe for me to drive in my state, but I needed to get away.

I had been stupid to think that nothing would happen if Blaine and I continued to go out for coffee. I should have realized that at one point something would happen. We were to gay teenagers in Ohio. Why _wouldn't_ something happen?

Until I managed to get myself to the cemetery where my mother was buried, I hadn't had a clue as to where I was driving. I trudged my way through the uncut grass, stumbling over the uneven ground. When I reached my mother's grave, I sank to my knees and just cried.

I cried over everything that went wrong in my life. I cried over my mother's death. I cried over my father's heart attack. I cried over all the times I'd been bullied. I cried over the incident. I cried over my transfer to Dalton.

I must have been there hours.

When my tears slowly subsided, a snowflake fell gently on my nose, almost like my mother's spirit was comforting me. She always loved snow. As more snowflakes began to fall, I got up and made my way back to the car.

The first snowfall of the year always made me happy. It meant more coffee and layers. It meant fireplaces and scarves, hot chocolate and Christmas cookies. Today it only made me feel bitter and unpleasant.

I drove carefully back to Westerville. I could feel bruises forming over my stomach. I tried to move my shoulder as little as possible as a searing pain shot through my body whenever I did. I was sure that it was only bruised, but it hurt nonetheless.

I reached Dalton safely, meeting only a few cars on my journey. I walked up to my dorm keeping my eyes on the ground and a protective arm over my stomach. Luckily, I didn't meet anyone along the way. Whether I knew them or not, they'd ask me if everything was okay. That was just how Dalton was.

I locked myself inside my dorm room and curled myself under my covers. A part of my brain told me to take a shower or call someone to talk to about what happened but I ignored it. I fell asleep sometime later to the sounds of a snowball fight occurring outside.

* * *

><p>Horrors at McKinley flooded my dreams, turning them worse than nightmares. I slept fitfully, being woken every ten minutes by the memory of a terrible event from my past. I eventually gave up trying to get a good night's sleep, so I laid in bed with my eyes wide open, trying to block all the pain out.<p>

Of course, my efforts were in vain.

When my alarm clock blared beside me, I laid there, unmoving, for some time more. I wasn't ready to face the day. I eventually forced my jelly-like legs to make me stand so that I could put on the uniform. The uniform colors looked dull, and made me seem a sickly shade of white.

I went without eating that morning. I knew my stomach wouldn't be able to digest food. I was a few minutes late to my first period. Mr. Turner gave me a harsh glare and told me to meet him after class. I didn't give him any acknowledgement to the fact that I'd heard him as I sat down at my desk. He didn't demand an answer like I'd seen him do a few times. He must of noticed that something was wrong. Even though he was harsh, he was perceptive.

I half-listened to the class, and was called upon more than once for not paying attention. Nick and Jeff were sharing concerned looks in front of me. Blaine probably mentioned what had occurred to us at the coffee shop.

When the class ended, I packed up my books and slowly went up to Mr. Turner's desk, my shoulders hunched and my eyes glued to the floor.

"You know I don't like late students," he told me, not looking up from his grading.

"I-I'm sorry sir," I whispered.

Marking something in red, he set down his pen and looked up at me. "I should be giving you detention."

"What time would you like me to come in?" I asked. Detention would be good. Detention meant a couple less hours that I needed to find ways to avoid Blaine.

"What's wrong?"

"Wh- Not-Nothing. I-I'm fine," I replied, shrinking in on myself.

"Obviously not. You were getting confident Mr. Hummel. Every day I saw you open up just a little bit more. Then you come in today and you're back right where you started. Something happened. I want to know what." When I didn't respond, he firmly told me, "If someone is harassing you we need to know so that we can remove the student from the school. Now what happened?"

"You c-can't d-do anything ab-about it though. I- It's not a-a student who goes here," I mumbled. "I-I need- I need to get t-to class."

Mr. Turner closed his eyes and sighed. "Go," he said, shaking his head.

I nodded and hurried out of the classroom. I took a longer route to get to Literature, partially to avoid other students, partially to put off seeing Blaine for as long as possible.

I sat down in my desk as the bell rang. Beside me, Blaine shot me a worried look. I opened my binder without glancing in his direction. My chair was angled away from him. If he noticed, he didn't comment on it.

"Are you okay?" Blaine whispered as Mr. Adams came to check homework. When I didn't give him any response, his shoulders slumped. "Kurt, please talk to me." I said nothing. "You aren't okay Kurt. You need to talk to someone, even if it's not me. I don't want you to close off again. It wouldn't be healthy. I don't know who that guy was yesterday, but whoever he was, he's obviously hurt you." When I ignored him once more, he sighed. "I care Kurt. It hurts me to see you like this."

I avoided Blaine for the rest of the day. I hid in my dorm at lunch. I avoided the routes I normally took to get to my classes. I said nothing in music. I returned to my dorm after classes ended, forgoing the auditorium to sing nor going to dinner.

I could tell Blaine was becoming distressed about me closing off again. He was continuously pushing the walls I had put up again, more so than he did before we had a friendship. Even with the extra pushes, I managed to hold him off from cracking the cement barrier I had placed around myself.

"Kurt, please," Blaine mumbled desperately in Literature on Friday.

I said nothing.

Blaine followed me around after Literature, desperately trying to get me to open up to him. I repeatedly closed myself off. Friendships did nothing. They only brought pain. Both at McKinley and at Dalton had the same result occurred.

He stopped knocking on my dorm room door halfway through lunch. Then I heard nothing.

Blaine may have acted like he cared, but in reality, he didn't.

Blaine gave me anxious looks throughout Music class. I could tell he was planning something.

"So I'm going to finish teaching a little bit early today. Blaine asked me if he could perform something, so he's going to take the floor," said Mrs. Daniels.

Dread settled into my stomach as Blaine stood up and walked over to a CD player sitting on the teacher's desk. He placed a disc in the machine and pressed play. When he turned around, his gaze was focused on me. No trace of emotion was present on my face as I stared back, even though inside I was begging to flee.

And then Blaine began to sing.

_Don't give up_

_It's just the weight of the world_

_When your heart's heavy, I_

_I will lift it for you_

_Don't give up_

_Because you want to be heard__  
><em>

_If silence keeps you, I__  
><em>

_I will break it for you_

_Everybody wants to be understood__  
><em>

_Well I can hear you__  
><em>

_Everybody wants to be loved__  
><em>

_Don't give up__  
><em>

_Because you are loved_

_Don't give up__  
><em>

_It's just the hurt__  
><em>

_That you hide__  
><em>

_When you're lost inside, I__  
><em>

_I'll be there to find you_

_Don't give up__  
><em>

_Because you want to burn bright__  
><em>

_If darkness blinds you I__  
><em>

_I will shine to guide you_

_Everybody wants to be understood__  
><em>

_Well I can hear you__  
><em>

_Everybody wants to be loved__  
><em>

_Don't give up__  
><em>

_Because you are loved_

_You are loved_

_Don't give up__  
><em>

_It's just the weight of the world_

_Don't give up__  
><em>

_Everyone needs to be heard_

_You are loved_

I didn't recognize the song, but that didn't change its meaning. The bell rang and I rushed out of the classroom. I couldn't take it. Everything snapped inside me. I rushed towards the auditorium, tears that hadn't fallen half-blinding me. I didn't know what I needed. I just knew I needed the auditorium.

I was tired of being scared. I was tired of pushing people away. I was tired of Braden hurting me. I was tired of being this empty box.

But I was scared. Being hurt again terrified me. Cutting people away made me safe, but it was no way to go through life.

I entered the auditorium and dropped my books haphazardly as I shut the door. I paid no recognition to one that fell off the pile and wedged itself in the door frame. I walked up to center stage and began to sing. I didn't realize what I was singing, but the words and melody flew out of my mouth.

_I'm not a stranger  
>No I am yours<br>With crippled anger  
>And tears that still drip sore<em>

_A fragile frame aged_  
><em>With misery<em>  
><em>And when our eyes meet<em>  
><em>I know you see<em>

_I do not wanna be afraid_  
><em>I do not wanna die inside just to breathe in<em>  
><em>I'm tired of feeling so alone<em>  
><em>Relief exists, I find it when<em>  
><em>I am cut<em>

_I may seem crazy  
>Or, painfully shy<br>And these scars wouldn't be so hidden  
>If you would just look me in the eye<br>I feel alone here and cold here  
>Oh, I don't want to die<br>But the only anesthetic that makes me feel anything kills inside_

_I do not wanna be afraid_  
><em>I do not wanna die inside just to breathe in<em>  
><em>I'm tired of feeling so alone<em>  
><em>Relief exists, I find it when<em>  
><em>I am cut<em>  
><em>Pain<em>  
><em>I am not alone<em>  
><em>I am not alone<em>

_I'm not a stranger_  
><em>No I am yours<em>  
><em>With crippled anger<em>  
><em>And tears that still drip sore<em>

_I do not wanna be afraid_  
><em>I do not wanna die inside just to breathe in<em>  
><em>I'm tired of feeling so alone<em>  
><em>Relief exists, I found it when<em>  
><em>I was cut<em>

As the last note ended I sank to the floor and I started to cry. Painful sobs erupted from me. The next thing I knew arms were being wrapped around me and I was pulled closer to a warm body. I immediately deducted Blaine's scent. Clinging to him, I sobbed harder. I didn't know why I wasn't fleeing. I should have been fleeing, but instead I was grabbing on like I needed him more than oxygen.

He didn't say anything to me as I cried. He didn't whisper things. He didn't tell me that things would be okay. Neither of us knew if they ever would be. So he held me, rubbing my back as I poured out all my emotions. I didn't know how long we were there for. Whether it was seconds, minutes, hours, days. Blaine never spoke. He just let me get everything out. And maybe that was what I needed.

Eventually, my tears subsided. I didn't speak for quite some time, finding simple comfort in being held. Blaine continued to rub my back silently as I clutched him even though I had stopped crying.

I needed to tell someone, tell him. I couldn't keep holding everything that happened inside me. It was too hard. I was exhausted.

So I told him everything.

* * *

><p><strong>I know it's really mean giving you a cliffhanger like that after taking so long to update, but next chapter is going to be like Chapter 15, and I have ideas for what's going to happen. So that's good, right?<strong>

**I was originally planning on putting the song Skyscraper in this chapter but I decided it wouldn't fit. So these are the songs I did choose:**

**Hallelujah - Rufus Wainwright**

**Baby It's Cold Outside - Glee Cast Version**

**You Are Loved (Don't Give Up) - Josh Groban**

**Cut - Plumb**

**Thank you guys all for reading. I promise it won't take me this long to update again.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Ok so I guess I lied about not taking as long to update. In my defense though, school's been a lot busier and I was having a lot of troubles with school (friends who weren't really my friends) which was did not whatsoever make me want to write. Also, this is a LONG chapter. It took a while to write when I finally did get a chance and was inspired to write.**

**So in the last chapter, Blaine walked in on Kurt singing and Kurt decided to tell him what happened. So this is Kurt's story. This is where you find out what happened to him. Hopefully I did the chapter justice. It's been a long buildup and I love you all for sticking through it.**

**(Thank you to everyone who was asking me about this. Your concern warmed my heart.)**

**Thank you to my cousin for taking the time to look this over for me.**

**WARNING: homophobia, violence, the works.**

**I do not own anything.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 18<strong>

_I'd always been bullied. It was just something that I was familiar with, as sad as that sounded. I learned to put up with it. I learned to live with it. It was normal for me to go through life being beaten down by others who thought that they were better than me._

_Even before I started school, I was teased. I would go and play in the park, where the bigger boys would always pick on me. They would push me to the ground getting my clothes all dirty. They would say I looked like a girl. They would call me weird for wanting to play with the girls. At three years old, those were the worst insults imaginable. My mom tried to always be there to protect me, but she couldn't control what the other kids did. That was up to their parents. Looking back on it, I think I remember having adults look at me strangely and whisper things to each other. But being as that's happened all my life, it could just be memories fusing together._

* * *

><p><em>"Can I play on the swings mommy?" I asked, squirming excitedly in my seat as my mother helped me out of my car seat.<em>

_"Sure honey," my mom answered me, lifting me out of the vehicle and placing me gently on the ground. "Do you need me to push you?"_

_"I'm three and a half years old mommy, I think I know how to use the swings by myself," I said indignantly._

_She laughed. "Alright. Just checking. If you need me, I'll be sitting on a bench with my book. Have fun!"_

_"Okay!" I exclaimed, running off in the direction of the swings._

_I was on the swings for about ten minutes before I decided to play on the play structure. I started to run over but I tripped and fell on my hands and knees. My mom told me that it was because I was growing and my body wasn't used to all the extra tallness. I was ready to stand up and continue on as if nothing had ever occurred when I heard laughing._

_"Ha ha ha ha! Did you see that?" a boy my age laughed._

_"That was so funny!" another responded_

_I stood up, puffed my chest out and placed my hands on my hips. "It's mean to laugh at people," I told them sternly, like my mommy did when I did something wrong._

_"So? You aren't my mom!" exclaimed the first boy_

_"He looks like a girl though," the second boy said._

_Both of them started laughing again. "You guys are big meanies!" I exclaimed, before running off and finding my mom. "Can we leave?" I asked her, climbing on the bench and sitting down next to her. _

_"Already?" she asked. "You've only been here ten minutes!"_

_"I'm bored," I mumbled. She looked at me and I felt like she knew everything about me. According to her, moms knew everything. I think she was telling the truth. "There were some mean kids," I mumbled._

_She looked at me sadly. "Why don't we go home and watch a movie? You can pick it out."_

_I smiled. "Can we?"_

_"Let's go," she said, standing up and taking my hand._

* * *

><p><em>Where life in public was hard, life at home was nothing short of perfect. Both of my parents let me play the games that I wanted to play, no matter how feminine and "girly" they may have been. My mom accepted me fully for who I was. I think my dad thought I would grow out of it, but when he realized that I wouldn't, he sat in our front yard proudly as I hosted a tea party.<em>

_I loved hosting tea parties. Tea parties and dress up games were my favorite. I watched some cartoons, like Power Rangers, but mostly I watched whatever my mom was watching – interior design and fashion shows for the most part. I always appreciated the colors on screen and how they looked beside each other. I loved cooking with her too. She would usually measure out the ingredients for me and I would get to put them in a bowl and mix them. We used to sing Beatles songs while cooking and baking together. She had a beautiful voice. When we weren't singing, she would tell me stories about her high school experience. She said it was a hard four years, but that it was the best four years of her life. She always talked about how much fun school was for her and how it was the reason that she became a teacher._

_I was so excited to start school, even though I would be at a different school than the one she taught at. I thought that I would make lots of friends and be really popular, just like she was. That wasn't the case. Even on the very first day of kindergarten, I was immediately placed on the bottom of the social ladder. You don't really consider that kindergarten kids have a social pyramid. You think that they all just play with each other. For the most part that's the case, but there are the kids that are exiled from the others. Everyone else refuses to play with them simply because they are different. I was that kid. Recesses, I would always walk around by myself, or play hopscotch or jump rope alone. I was lonely, I think. There would be occasions when girls would invite me to join them to play princesses, but I always had to be the knight that saved them, never the princess, even though I wanted to be the one getting saved._

_As I got older, things got worse. There started to be more and more name calling year to year. They would frequently call my clothes girly or weird. I liked dress pants, ties, scarves and button up shirts; nice clothes, not t-shirts and jeans. I didn't like video games, or sports, so I couldn't connect with any of them. It seemed as if those were the only two topics they could ever dream of talking about. I preferred Disney movies to superhero movies, which at my age was almost a crime. For my classmates, it was just another reason to add to the list of reasons why I should be ostracized from the class._

_The only action figures I liked were my power rangers. I can't tell you how many times I had to plan a wedding for them, or help them file a divorce. I tried bringing them to school one day to see if the other boys would want to play with them with me, but all they ended up doing was taking them and ripping a couple arms off. I was devastated. I came home crying, but my mom managed to calm me down by letting me try some "big boy drinks". It wasn't alcohol, but warm milk. From that day on, she made some for me every night before bed. _

* * *

><p><em>"M-Mommy," I faltered, walking through the front door. I could tell that she had been baking. The smell of my favorite chocolate chip cookies lingered in the air.<em>

_Even though she was in the kitchen, she heard my soft cry. "What's wrong honey?" she asked, coming from the kitchen and meeting me at the front door. Getting down on her knees, she took off my backpack and started to remove my coat._

_"I-I had a b-bad day," I whimpered._

_"Tell me what happened," she coaxed._

_"Th-They- They broke my power rangers!" I exclaimed loudly, burrowing in her chest as she wrapped her arms around me. "I asked them if they wanted to play with me but then they took my power rangers from me and they didn't give them back and then at last recess I found them in the sand and they broke all the arms off of them and I tried mommy but I can't get them to go back in! They broke them for forever!" I sobbed as I burrowed into her arms._

_She rubbed my back softly and whispered soothing words into my ear. "It's okay Kurt, I'm here. I'm sure we can fix it."_

_"But m-mommy it's impossible!"_

_"Nothing is impossible if you put your mind to it," she soothed. _

_"But- But they're broken for forever!"_

_"Then why don't you and I think of a solution over a drink?"_

_"B-But I'm not thirsty."_

_"Not even for a big boy drink?" she asked._

_"A big boy drink?" I repeated quietly._

_"Do you want to try it?"_

_"...Can I have cookies too?"_

_She laughed. "Of course you can have cookies. Go sit down at the table and I'll bring you your cookies and your drink."_

_I gave a watery smile and sat at the table. Ten minutes later, mommy came back with a plate of steaming cookies and two mugs. She put the mug in front of both her and I and the cookies just in front of us._

_"What is it?" I asked, eying the mug in wonder._

_"It's warm milk. I promise you it doesn't taste as bad as it sounds," she said as I wrinkled my nose. "Give it a try."_

_Nervously, I began to reach for the mug. Mommy quickly showed me how to hold it. Following her instructions, I brought it up to my lips and took a small sip. My eyes grew wide in astonishment as a pleasant taste exploded in my mouth. "This is yummy!" I exclaimed._

_"I'm glad you like it," she said, taking a sip of her own mug. _

_I took a bite of a cookie and turned to her. "How can we fix my power rangers?" I asked. "Their arms fell off!"_

_"Well, since you said you couldn't put them back in the sockets, maybe we can buy new ones," she suggested gently._

_"But they won't be the same!"_

_"No, but sometimes it's good to have a change."_

_"But mommy, they all had compex- complet- complex relationship drama. I don't want to forget all about how much they loved each other and then hated each other and then loved each other!"_

_"You don't have to forget them, or even replace them! Sure we'll get you new ones, but that doesn't make the power rangers you have now any less special. You can even keep the parts of your power rangers in a box so that when you feel you're forgetting them, you can look inside the box and remember all the fun times you had with them."_

_A smile slowly slid across my face. "Can I decorate the box?"_

_"You can even bedazzle the box with my bedazzler," she replied._

_"Just like you do?"_

_"Exactly like I do!"_

_I grinned widely. "Thanks mommy."_

_"You're welcome Kurt," she said, smiling back at me. "I love you."_

_"I love you too!"_

* * *

><p><em>I started building up a wall against both the spoken and unspoken prejudice that I faced regularly. Every day after school, my mom would tell me I was special and that she loved me. That helped, I think.<em>

_She started getting sick when I was seven years old. Just before I turned eight, she was admitted in the hospital. My dad told me that she was very sick and that she might not get better. I thought my mom was a power ranger so I was sure she would make it. I didn't understand what terminal cancer meant at that age. Every day I visited her, and asked her when she would come home. She responded that she didn't know and told me I was special and that she loved me. She never stopped telling me that. She was in the hospital for ten months before she died._

_I'll never forget the day that I came home from school to find my dad crying in his bedroom. _

* * *

><p><em>"Daddy, guess what?" I exclaimed. "Daddy, where are you? Daddy?" I wandered upstairs looking for him. The light was on in his bedroom so I walked in. "Mrs. Robin let us draw in art today and she said I could draw a "Get Better" card for mommy! I drew all of us-" I stopped short. Daddy was crying. Why was daddy crying? He was big and strong, and big and strong boys don't cry unless something really good or really bad happened. So why was daddy crying?<em>

_"Daddy what's wrong?" I asked quietly, sitting beside him on the bed. I put an arm around his shoulder, kind of like mommy did with me when I had a bad day. I don't think that I was as good at it as her though, but hopefully daddy wouldn't mind. I was only eight, after all._

_He lifted me up into his lap and brought me close to his chest and held me tight. It was a little bit too tight for my liking, but that was okay. Daddy was just trying to give me a big hug, and I liked hugs. But he was still crying. "Daddy, why are you crying?" I asked._

_"Y-Your mom... She's g-gone Kurt," he told me._

_"Oh daddy, don't cry about that. She'll come back!"_

_"Kurt she's gone. She can't come back."_

_My brows furrowed. This was just ridiculous! (That was the word Mrs. Robin taught us today. I liked it. It was fancy sounding.) "Daddy, what do you mean she's gone?" I asked. Mommy always told me to try to understand what the other person is saying before jumping to conclusions (that was a word we learned yesterday) because it made me mature for my age which really meant that I was grown up enough to do things all by myself like go to the park. I was the only person in my class who was allowed to go to the park all by myself._

_"She- She's dead Kurt." And that was all he answered. _

_"Daddy, what does dead mean?"_

_"I- It means that your mom isn't here with us anymore."_

_"But we can find her, right?"_

_"We can find her body, but your mom... she's not in it anymore."_

_"But-"_

_"Her spirit is gone."_

_"Where did it go?"_

_"Somewhere better."_

_"When will she come back?"_

_"She can't come back Kurt."_

_"But of course she can daddy!"_

_"Kurt... Wh-When someone dies... you can never see them or talk to them again."_

_"...Ever?" I asked in a small voice._

_"I'm sorry Kurt."_

* * *

><p><em>It was hard living without her. It took a while for me and my dad to figure out how to make things work without her there. He took on extra hours at his shop. Being home reminded him too much of her. I learned how to cook and I always had a meal ready for when he got home. He took me outside to play sports. Even though I didn't enjoy it, I pretended I did to make it easier on him. School started getting harder but I never brought it up to him. He had already been struggling with my mom's death, I didn't need to cause more problems. I kept all the bullying to myself and life went on.<em>

_The first time I was ever called a fag was in fifth grade. I'd never heard the term before, but it still hurt. When my dad got home that night, I asked him what it meant. He grew angry when I told him that someone called me it at school and eventually explained that some boys liked boys and some girls liked girls and that it was a mean name to call someone who was like that. I didn't understand. Why did anyone have a problem with that? I think I had known I was gay for a long time, I just didn't know there was a term for it._

* * *

><p><em>"Hi dad," I greeted, setting a hot pan of lasagne on the table.<em>

_"Hey kiddo," he answered, rubbing the back of his hand over his forehead. The grease from his hands left a smudge on his face._

_"Wash up and dinner's ready," I told him. _

_"It smells delicious Kurt," he responded, going to the kitchen sink._

_"Thanks! How was work?"_

_"We had someone come in with air conditioning problems. It turns out that they had a nest of mice living in their radiator," he said. "Not sure how that happened, but we got the mice out okay. The air conditioner works fine now."_

_"Weird," I answered._

_"How was school?"_

_"It was okay."_

_"Are you okay?"_

_"Of course!" I exclaimed. "Why wouldn't I be?"_

_"Well, you're acting strange," he said._

_He stared at me with deep, knowing eyes. He didn't use them very often, but when he did, he would get the answers he wanted._

_"...What does fag mean?" I eventually asked._

_He froze, his fork halfway to his mouth. "Where did you hear that word?" he demanded in a cold voice._

_"I- At school," I stammered, getting nervous. "Some- Some guys called me it and I was going to look up-"_

_"They're wrong."_

_"Wh-What?"_

_"You aren't a fag," he said. "It's a disgusting word and it should never be used." He stood up sending his chair backwards. "I have to go."_

_"Where?" I asked._

_"I- I left something at the shop," he said. He left the kitchen and went towards the front door. I heard a rustle from the coat closet, then the open and close of a door and it was silent._

_I bit my bottom lip and began clearing away the table. Blinking back tears for some unknown reason, I placed the barely touched lasagne in the fridge for later. I double checked to make sure that everything was put away properly and went up to my bedroom. I pulled out one of my mom's old Vogue magazines from under my bed and curled up under my comforter. I didn't look up what fag meant. After my dad's reaction, I wasn't sure that I wanted to know._

_At about nine that night, I heard the front door open. I quickly hid Vogue under my bed and pulled out the gameboy that my dad got me for our first Christmas after mom died. I didn't enjoy the machine very much, but I knew playing on it would make him happy. Mom always used to do the Christmas shopping for the family. He tried his best to get me something that I enjoyed, and even though it wasn't what I would have asked for, I know that he put a lot of thought and effort into it. _

_A knock on my door made me jump out of my thoughts. "Come in," I called._

_My dad opened the door and slowly walked in. "I'm sorry about earlier kid."_

_"It's okay," I replied, shutting off the gameboy and facing him._

_"No it isn't. You asked a legitimate question Kurt, I should have given you an answer. Your mom was better at this kind of stuff," he admitted with a pained smile._

_"You're doing your best dad," I said._

_He shrugged. "I'm not perfect. Who called you that word today Kurt?"_

_"It doesn't really matter dad. I don't know what it means anyways."_

_"It matters because you matter Kurt. You don't deserve to be treated like that." _

_I stared at my hands, blinking back tears. Everyone at school thought I was worthless. But according to my dad, I mattered. He'd never told me that before. I knew I could trust him more than everyone at school. I mattered._

_"Kurt, you know that most boys in the world love girls," he began. I nodded. "And most girls love boys. But that's not always the case. There are some boys that love other boys, and some girls that love other girls. There are boys and girls that love both genders. Do you understand me so far?"_

_I nodded. Did that mean that I wasn't alone? That there were others like me?_

_"Well, there are a lot of people who don't like the fact that boys can love other boys and girls can love other girls-"_

_"Why?"_

_"I don't know," he admitted. "Maybe they're scared because it's different than what they know. Maybe they don't understand it. Maybe they think that it's unnatural."_

_"Is it?" I asked quietly. _

_My dad was quiet for a long time. We sat in silence for a couple minutes. "I don't know," he eventually replied. _

_Panic settled in my chest. Did that mean that he wouldn't love me if I told him the truth? "But it's just love," I replied quickly. "How is that wrong?"_

_"I don't think that love is wrong," he answered. "I think I fall under the category of people who don't understand it. But just because I don't understand it, that doesn't mean that it's wrong, you know?"_

_"I think so? I don't understand religion but that doesn't mean it's wrong, as long as it's not hurting people."_

_His eyes lit up. "Exactly. Anyways, there are people who don't like the fact that people are homosexual-"_

_"Homosexual?"_

_"That's the term for boys who love other boys and girls who love other girls. Oftentimes, boys like that will just say that they're gay and girls will say that they're lesbians. The people who love both genders are bisexual, or bi for short. There are some more terms but I think that's good to start," he explained. "But there are some people that don't like that. Because of that, they can be really mean to them. They'll bully them and call them mean names."_

_"Like fag?" I asked quietly._

_"Yeah, like that one," he replied gently. _

* * *

><p><em>Fag was a term that I learned to ignore quickly. After the first day it was used, it spread around the class and others began calling me it. They added more and more offensive words to their vocabulary that I was too ashamed to ask my dad about. I got the gist of the words.<em>

_It made me worried. If they could tell that I liked other boys, then could my dad tell as well? _

_When high school started, so did the physical aspect of bullying. I hadn't even entered the building on the first day when I was thrown into a dumpster. It was half full of cardboard boxes and some other things. I thought that it was awful that I had gotten garbage on my brand new clothes. When it was finally emptied the next week, I found that I much preferred having the garbage in it, as it acted as a cushion. Eventually, they not only threw me in the dumpster, but closed it was well and sat on it so that I would be trapped inside. Rarely, they would find a way to lock it._

_Along with dumpster tosses came locker slams and slushies. The locker slams I could handle – out of the three they were preferred as they only left bruises. Having dye and ice being thrown on you was very unpleasant. It didn't take long for me to learn to bring a couple changes of clothes to keep in my locker. The dye would stain them and make them unwearable. Even though I got adept at getting stains out, I had lost hundreds of dollars clothes that got ruined the first day I wore them._

* * *

><p><em>"Hey fairy boy!" I heard someone call.<em>

_I sighed into my locker. Just once I would have liked to have been able to get to class without being taunted. The football team had taken to calling me a handful of different names, and fairy boy was one of their favorites. I turned around and was met immediately with a splash of cold ice in my face._

_I gasped at the sensation and let out a loud squeak. I could feel it soaking into my hair and drip down my back. I rubbed my eyes to try and get it out of my face but as soon as I did, my eyes began to burn. What the hell had they thrown at me?_

_I heard hollers and laughs as I stood shivering from the cold and humiliations. I bit my bottom lip to force myself not to cry as I rushed towards the closest bathroom. I could taste cherry. _

_They threw a slushie at me, I realized in disgust. _

_The closest bathroom was – luckily – empty when I began to wash it off my face and out of my hair. I didn't have any spare clothes to change into, not even gym clothes, so I did my best drying my ruined outfit under a hand dryer._

_When it was as good as it was going to get – which was frankly awful – I took some deep breaths to stop myself from crying. I could feel a few tears escape as I looked at my once white scarf that belonged to my mother. I loved it because it smelt like her and was soft to touch. Now the fabric was ruined and her smell was replaced by the smell of cherry flavouring._

_I shakily returned to my locker, realizing in horror that I hadn't closed it after they slushied me. I looked inside finding my belongings drenched in slushie. My textbooks and notebooks had papers torn out of them. My pencils and pens were all broken in half. On the inside of my locker door, someone had drawn an image of me without my head with a sharpie. I let out a loud sob before covering my mouth with my hand to muffle the ones that followed. I salvaged what I could out of my locker. A janitor walked by and swore._

_"Goddammit kid, I wanted to go home. Move it," he ordered. I quickly moved away from my locker. "I need to clean up that pile of crap. You're paying for damages."_

_"But-But it wasn't me!" I exclaimed._

_"Well I don't see anyone else standing in it, now do I?" he asked. "Dumb fag," he muttered under his breath. _

_I closed my eyes and let him do his work. As soon as the floor was clean, he began to walk away. _

_"B-But my locker!"_

_"Not my problem."_

* * *

><p><em>I had no friends in freshman year. No one wanted to associate themselves with the gay kid. I hadn't even been given a chance to discover who I was for myself and accept myself before I was labelled, before I was harassed for being gay when I wasn't sure of it myself, before I came out on my own terms. Some people probably think that it's better not to have to come out. You don't produce as much as a shock in the high school society. I don't agree. Being told who you are, being made fun of for being different, for liking boys before you accept it yourself, is so much worse.<em>

_I was incredibly lonely, but I learned to deal with it. I put on a brave face at home. I would ask my dad to drop me off at the mall because I was meeting friends just to make him think that I had friends. I never gave him any names, and whenever he asked to meet them, I would change the subject. I got good at changing subjects. _

_It was hard, but I did my best. I tried hard in school, knowing that my grades would get me out of Lima if nothing else did. I told myself that I didn't need friends. As long as I got out of my hometown, everything would work out. I could make friends in New York City._

_About halfway through the year I joined the choir. It was run by Mr. Ryerson. I didn't like him very much. He seemed very perverted and watched certain students far more than he should. The numbers he made us do were extremely strange – when did these songs even come out? – and not at all what I hoped for. I never got a chance to be in the spotlight as it was always taken up by a select few members. And the choreography involved stools. Stools. But it was a chance to perform, so I put up with it._

_In the beginning of my sophomore year, he was fired for inappropriate touching – no big surprise. Mr. Schuester, the clueless Spanish teacher, took over the club and renamed it the New Directions. Even though the name was awful, I auditioned. I was one of the only people that did. There were only five of us, but that was okay. Three of the members were the first friends I made._

_There was Mercedes Jones. I always admired her strong sense of fashion from afar, even if her choices could be awful. She was never popular, but she had a few friends who abandoned her when she auditioned. She sung like nobody's business. She became my best friend. She was the first person that I came out to and she accepted me with open arms. We had a lot in common with each other._

_Next was Tina Cohen-Chang. She was extremely shy and quiet and sounded lovely when she managed to sing in front of us. She had a kind heart, and that was what mattered to me._

_Then there was Artie Abrams. He was in a wheelchair, but that didn't stop him from doing the choreography. He had a good sense of humour, and even though his attempts to be gangster were ridiculous, I liked him. He was the only male that treated me like everybody else._

_The other member – who I did not become friends with for a long period of time – was Rachel Berry. She named herself the star of the club when we were all equally (or more in my case) talented than her. She stormed out of the room if she didn't get her way. She wore hideous outfits that belonged either on a toddler or on a grandmother, I wasn't sure. It took us a long time to become friends, but eventually we made it work._

_The next member to join, to my surprise, was Finn Hudson. He was the only members of the football team who tried to stop the others from bullying me. He held my jackets when the other players threw me in a dumpster. And he was dreamy. Tall and muscular, a cute boyish face... I had a huge crush on him. I made Rachel Berry look like a stripperand I got our parents to start dating each other in hopes that in being around me, Finn would realize his deep love for me. My plans all backfired, and I eventually realized that Finn wouldn't ever love me the way I wanted too. He was both straight and homophobic, though he was getting better with it._

_Slowly more members joined the New Directions. Three of the most popular Cheerios joined: Quinn Fabray, Santana Lopez and Brittany Pierce. Noah Puckerman – one of my biggest tormentors – joined with Matt Rutherford and Mike Chang, two other football players. _

_It was safe to say that there were a lot of tensions in the room. Half of the members wouldn't speak to each other outside of the choir room in fear of being caught with the less popular members. The more popular members stressed about keeping up their reputation because glee club was less than tolerated by the student body. There was more relationship drama than on a soap opera. _

_As different as we all were, we came together through our love of song to form something wonderful. Even though we hated each other half the time, we always managed to come together and make something beautiful. For the first time in my life I was happy._

_It was after I joined the football team that I fully accepted myself, and felt confident enough to officially come out of the closet. I had joined the team in hopes of hiding my sexuality from my dad. I was beginning to worry that he was figuring it out, especially after he caught Brittany, Tina and I recreating the Single Ladies music video – costumes and all._

_I was kicker for the team. I didn't even know what a kicker was, or what the rules were, but from what I understood, I was good at it. I convinced them to do the Single Ladies dance in the middle of the field. Not many of them were good dancers, but they did their best, and shocked the other team enough to tie the game. I managed to score the winning point in the only game the Titans won that year. _

_It was later that night that I told my dad I was gay. He was an average American male. He had no fashion sense (flannel was an unacceptable fabric), he loved football, and he owned his own car repair shop. I had no idea what his opinions were on gay people. I didn't remember much of his explanation of the word fag, so I was utterly terrified. He was all I had. If he didn't accept me, if he kicked me out, I had absolutely no idea what I would've done. I was utterly terrified, but I did it._

* * *

><p><em>"Dad?" I said, stopping him as he left my bedroom. "I...I have something that I want to say."<em>

_He turned to me with questioning eyes. I could still turn back. But I didn't want to._

_"I'm glad that you're proud of me, but I don't want to lie anymore. Being a part of glee club and football has shown me that I can be anything. And... What I am is... I'm gay," I finished, my hands shaking. I was tired of hiding – and even though my dad could very well hate me and abandon me – I didn't want to lie to him anymore._

_"I know." I froze. "I've known since you were three," he continued. "All you wanted for you birthday as a pair of sensible heels. I wasn't totally in love with the idea but if that's who you are... There's nothing I can do about it. I love you just as much. Okay?"_

_I nodded and felt him pulling me into a tight hug. I clutched him with as much force as I could. He still loved me. He wasn't going to abandon me. He loved me just as much as he did before._

_"Thanks for telling me Kurt," he told me, before letting me go and heading towards the stairs to leave my room._

_"You're sure, right?" he asked before he headed upstairs._

_"Yeah dad," I told him._

_After he left, I sat on my bed. I didn't move for a long time. I was frozen in shock and relief. He still loved me. He wasn't going to abandon me._

* * *

><p><em>I still got bullied daily. After coming out officially and after joining glee club, it got worse. But I finally had people who cared about me. They would help me clean up after getting slushied, or help me out of the dumpster. They didn't notice how bad a lot of it was, but they actually noticed that it was happening to me.<em>

_They noticed me and not only because I dressed better than the entire school. They noticed me for my wit and my humour. For who I was on the inside. Some of the club took longer than others, but eventually they understood and got to know me. _

_A lot of the time I still felt completely invisible. Aside from the glee club members, no one really noticed me unless it was for a negative reason. Most of the time I felt as if my friends didn't notice me either. If I wanted to be heard, I needed to scream with all my might and hope. I was just an extra person singing back up to Rachel Berry and Finn Hudson. I was just an extra student to teach. I was just another person to torment. On occasion, the club would step up and defend me, which was nice, but I couldn't rely on them to help me all the time._

_Even though I had friends, I was still lonely. The way they changed relationships was like musical chairs. They'd date for a while, end the relationship, fight for the chance to date someone else, and the cycle would go on. I was the extra chair that wasn't used during the game. I didn't want to change relationships every other week, but I wanted a guy to fight for me, and to love me for who I was. As positive as I was about meeting someone in New York, I wanted someone to help me through the bullying every day at school. I wanted someone that could love me now, not when I got to New York. And in New York, would anyone even want me?_

_At the beginning of my Junior year, my wishes were granted. They always say to be careful what you wish for. My wishes weren't careful enough._

_The first day we met it was the first day after school started up again. He was a new transfer, from Iowa. He was... Well, let's just say he could have been a model. He had bright blue eyes, golden blond hair that had that "just rolled out of bed" look that usually looks so tacky. But he could pull it off like I could pull off a scarf: flawlessly._

_I'd been fixing my hair at my locker when he approached me and asked me for directions to his next class. He started to flirt with me. I responded in stutters and blushes. It was the first time anyone had shown interest in me in that way – I didn't know how to act, let alone flirt back. I probably looked ridiculous, but I felt incredible._

_I had hope that maybe this year I would have someone to share Valentine's day with._

_I kept my encounters with Braden mostly to myself. I didn't know if he was out or not – I hadn't heard that he was – and I wasn't sure if he was comfortable enough with who he was to let others know. I didn't even know he was gay for sure! But I knew that he was flirting with me. The glee girls noticed that I was happier. I didn't answer them when they asked me the reason for my change in mood. _

_Because he was so handsome, the girls and I gossiped about him constantly. We tried to figure out more about him by watching his actions. From our observations, he was a jock, but he wasn't on a team yet. Either that or, he wasn't wearing the letterman's jacket that clearly distinguished his status to the crowd. He talked to the football players and they seemed to be friendly. This didn't worry me. He'd been flirting with me. He was gay. I think that they realized that I was holding things back, but they didn't push me to say anything._

_When Braden joined the football team as a linebacker, he gained an enormous amount of status. Most of the Cheerios dumped their current boyfriends and flirted with him in hopes of getting a chance to go on a date with him. Many of them asked him. But he always declined, and if I was in the room, gave me a look that sent butterflies flying in my stomach. It was like he wanted me._

_With his status came the opportunity to take risks that, if he were not on the team, would send him straight into a dumpster. When he saw me being shoved into lockers, he would call out the players who pushed me. My face turned bright red. Whether it was out of embarrassment, shame, or just the fact that a very attractive guy was staring at me, I didn't know. I appreciated his efforts. I couldn't be certain, but I was positive that his help was making things more difficult for him._

_It wasn't only the locker shoves that he helped me with. It was only the second week of school when he saw me get slushied for the first time. I'd gotten three slushies already, but this was the first time he'd seen it happen. _

* * *

><p><em>I groaned as the ice dripped down my neck. I licked my lips quickly to find that they'd hit me with a Grape slushie. Fantastic. I wouldn't be wearing this outfit again.<em>

_"Kurt! What the hell happened?" I heard Braden exclaim. A hand immediately went to my arm and I felt myself being dragged to a washroom. "Are you okay?"_

_"I'm fine," I answered. "Don't worry. It happens all the time."_

_"That makes me feel so much better," he said sarcastically. "Do you have anything to clean yourself up with, or…?"_

_"I have stuff in my locker," I replied._

_"What's your combination?"_

_"I don't know if I should give you that," I said awkwardly. I didn't trust anyone with my locker combination except myself._

_"Just- Just tell me Kurt. I get it. I'm on the football team. I promise I won't use it for anything but honourable reasons."_

_I spoke the combination quickly and gave him a list of things to get. He rushed to get everything I needed as I walked into the girl's bathroom and started to wash the slushie off my face. _

_"Will anyone mind that we're in here?" I heard Braden ask. "I mean, since we're guys."_

_"Well, I'm gay so they don't really care. I'm sure it's fine if you're in here," I said. "You've probably noticed that the rules aren't very enforced here."_

_"Oh, I've noticed," he said. "Um, I got the things you asked for."_

_"Thanks," I responded. "Just give them to me and you can go to class. I can handle everything from here."_

_"The stuff is in your hair, Kurt."_

_"Washing your hair in a sink really isn't that difficult when you get used to it."_

_"I'm not leaving you Kurt," said Braden. "Sit down. I'll wash your hair."_

_"I can do it," I said, feeling a thrill of excitement._

_"Sit down," he ordered, pulling the chair that was left here for occasions like this in front of the sink._

_I did as he asked. When the water was warm enough, I tilted my head under the faucet. Strong hands went into my hair and fingers began to thread through my hair._

_"It might be easier if I do this," Braden murmured before he maneuvered himself so that one of his legs was on either side of my body, almost straddling me. There were maybe two inches between our private areas. I could see his muscled chest through his shirt, and it wasn't exactly a thin shirt. He stared deeply in my eyes and I willed myself to think only unsexy thoughts._

_Please don't get a boner, I thought to myself. _

_My eyes never left Braden's bright blue eyes as he washed the slushie out of my hair. How long has he had golden flecks in his eyes? I wondered to myself. _

_Tingles were running through my body with each movement of Braden's fingers. My attempts not to be aroused were failing miserably. But being as this was the first time being in any position like this with a guy – innocent or not – I couldn't control myself. As long as Braden didn't move his hips any lower and didn't look down there, I would be fine. I tried to calm my breathing to seem like I wasn't about to faint from our closeness but to no avail. My cheeks were bright red. At least this time I could blame it on the cold._

_"I think that's as good as your hair is going to get," Braden said. His voice was lower and did nothing to help my growing problem._

_"D-Did you use shampoo?"_

_"And conditioner," he answered._

_"O-Oh, I-I didn't not- notice."_

_Slowly, he moved away from me. I quickly sat up and crossed my left leg over my right knee to help hide my boner as I toweled off my hair. _

_"Thank you," I said._

_"No problem," Braden answered calmly. "I'm going to head to class while you change."_

_"See you," I said, as Braden made his way towards the door._

_He paused just before leaving the washroom. "Oh, and Kurt?"_

_"Yes?"_

_"You might want to take care of that problem before you head to class."_

* * *

><p><em>Braden was in a few of my classes, and sat beside me in most of them. We would pass notes like we would in elementary, and laugh at the stupidity of half the school. He would listen when I talked about the next glee assignment, and he would listen when I ranted about the hideous fashion choices of Rachel Berry and others in the school. He would talk about football, and, rarely, his home life which from what I could tell, wasn't great. He made me feel special and important.<em>

_We never really saw each other outside of school. When he told me why, it was only that he was worried he'd be seen and assumed gay. His dad was extremely homophobic and would no doubt throw him out onto the streets if he caught word that Braden had been spending time with the town gay alone. I understood. Not all parents were as wonderful as my dad._

_So we would spend time together at school. In class, and sometimes in the library after school or during a spare. I didn't tell anyone about our private rendezvous, but it was high school. People gossiped. Soon, the glee club found out about our secret friendship. The girls were angry that I hadn't told them, but nonetheless excited. Even though I never said anything about his sexuality, they assumed that he was gay and that we had a secret romance. Most of the guys were excited for me too, but there were doubts._

* * *

><p><em>"Hey Princess," Puck said, entering my bedroom.<em>

_"Puck? What on Earth are you doing here?" I exclaimed. _

_"Finn and I are having a Halo marathon," he explained briefly._

_"So why are you in my room?"_

_"We need to talk."_

_"If you're asking me if you can experiment on me, the answer is no," I replied. Feeling my phone vibrate, I took it out and saw I had text from Braden._

_Are you a fan of coffee? – Braden_

_Coffee is my addiction. – Kurt_

_Is there anywhere in Lima better than the gas station that serves coffee? – Braden_

_There's the Lima Bean – Kurt_

_Where's that? Actually – don't answer that. Are you free after school tomorrow? Maybe you could show me where it is. – Braden_

_I have glee until 4, but after would work. – Kurt_

_See you then ;) – Braden_

_But what if your dad finds out? – Kurt_

_I won't let him. – Braden_

_If you're sure. – Kurt_

_I am. I can't WAIT to spend time with you outside of the lovely halls of William McKinley High School – Braden_

_:D – Kurt_

_"…rt? Kurt!" _

_I glanced up and rolled my eyes at Puck who was giving me an unimpressed look. "What?"_

_"We need to talk."_

_"About what?"_

_"You've been hanging out with that Braden guy, right?"_

_"Yes," I said defensively, crossing my arms over my chest. "Why?"_

_"I just think you should be careful. There's something up with that guy, Kurt."_

_I rolled my eyes. "He's my friend Noah." Or was that all he was? I didn't know what to make of the winky face. Did that mean our coffee outing was a date?_

_"I don't think he's actually gay."_

_"Where on Earth does that come from? I can be friends with straight guys. And why is it that you don't think he's gay? Because he's on the football team?"_

_"Well, yeah-"_

_"Just because he's on the football team does not mean he's gay, Noah. I was on the football team and I'm very much gay. All you're doing is stereotyping. Besides, he's straight. He hasn't told me otherwise." Well, he hadn't told me directly._

_"I'm just saying, be careful."_

_"I can handle myself Noah."_

* * *

><p><em>I was thrilled to find out that Braden wanted to see me outside of school. I brought it up once, but I got rejected because of how homophobic his dad was. The fact that he was ready to hang outside of school with me anyways was thrilling. It meant that he was starting to accept himself, and beginning to feel ready enough to let others know. And wanting to see me was exciting on its own. I'd never had a guy who wanted to see me outside of school alone. <em>

_The day of our not-date (though I always called it a date in my head), I chose an outfit to wear to school carefully, and then chose another to change into after glee club (because frankly, that outfit was fabulous and I did not want it getting ruined). I went the day as normal, counting down the minutes until school was done. Only this time, I wasn't looking forward to glee club or to going home. I was going on a date! Braden and I snuck shy smiles at each other when no one was looking through out the day._

_When glee club finally let out – 15 minutes late – I ran to my locker at top speed while texting Braden that I would be late. I took the clothes and got into them as quickly as possible. When I checked to see if I got a response, I saw that Braden told me to meet him at my locker. I returned to find him leaning casually against the locker with a small strip of skin showing between his pants and shirt._

_Do not drool, I told myself firmly._

_"Hi!" I exclaimed. "Sorry I'm late! Glee Club went over its time limit and then I had to change."_

_"You look fantastic," he said._

_My heart swelled in pride and happiness. He thought I looked good! "Thanks," I said, trying for casual. My bright red face ruined the attempt._

_"So, coffee?" he said, glancing around nervously._

_"Of course!" I chirped. "Just follow me."_

_"I got a ride to school this morning so we'll have to go in your car," he said. _

_"That's not a problem at all!" I chirped, thrilled to be spending more time with this attractive boy._

_"Great," he said with a bright smile and a wink._

_Don't faint, I thought._

_When we got to the Lima Bean, we put ourselves in line for coffee. Before I had a chance to pull out my wallet, Braden was paying for both coffees with a nice tip. I glared at him but was dancing for joy inside._

_And then we talked for hours. We talked about little things and big things. The latest movies and our secret hopes and fears. I told Braden things that I hadn't told anyone – not even Mercedes or my dad. He told me things in return about how he only played football to make his dad happy, and how he secretly wanted to join glee club but couldn't. _

_The only reason we stopped talking was because my dad was calling, worried about where I was. After I hung up, we left the coffee shop and I dropped him off a few blocks from his house before I headed to my own._

* * *

><p><em>We had more coffee outings after our first one. Every Wednesday and Friday we would meet at the Lima Bean for coffee and we would talk. It was in one of these not-dates that he invited me to one of the upcoming football games.<em>

* * *

><p><em>"I...I don't know Braden," I answered, making his hopeful expression fall.<em>

_"Why not?" he asked._

_"Well, it's football. You know I'm not a fan. And besides, wouldn't it be weird, you inviting me and all? Wouldn't that look suspicious?"_

_"Do you want to know why you should come?"_

_"Why?"_

_"Because you can wear that scarf you got in the mail last night," he said, lifting up a finger. Lifting up another, he stated, "And you can always say you're there to support your step-brother."_

_I bit my lip unsure._

_"Please?" he asked, looking at me with begging eyes. "How about this: you come to the game, and we'll go to the movies on a date."_

_"Fine," I said nonchalantly, though my heart was racing a mile a minute._

_He smiled. "It's a deal."_

* * *

><p><em>After the game, which the Titans – surprisingly – won, I went down to the field to congratulate Finn, but really hoping to see Braden. As soon as he saw me, Braden rushed over and pulled me into a tight hug.<em>

_A boy who was attractive and sweaty and very attractive was hugging me and it felt wonderful. The smell wasn't the greatest I'll admit but nonetheless an ATTRACTIVE BOY WAS HUGGING ME. I hugged him back because maybe that would make him keep hugging me longer. I could feel muscles everywhere... _

_"You were great!" I said happily._

_With one final tight squeeze, Braden let me go. "You had fun?"_

_"I did," I admitted._

_"I love the scarf."_

_A huge smile crossed my face. "Thanks!"_

_"So how's Friday night at seven for our date?" he asked quietly._

_I beamed even wider. "It sounds perfect."_

_I never thought it strange how none of the team seemed surprised that we were hugging. At the time, I don't even think I noticed._

* * *

><p><em>I didn't go to glee club the day of our date. Braden would be picking me up at seven. I only had four hours to get ready! That wasn't nearly enough time for me to be able to go to glee club and look as good as I could for my first date. We were going to go to Breadstix and then we were going to go see Easy A. For where we were going, what I was wearing would have sufficed. But it was a date, and I wanted to look a little nicer and dress up more.<em>

_After showering – because I had no idea just what was in the halls of McKinley – I raided my closet until I found the perfect outfit for our date._

_I eventually decided on a pair of black skinny jeans, a white oxford shirt, a grey blazer and grey Doc Martins. Every strand of my hair was in perfect order. It was spiked up a little bit, but not too much. The girls always said that I looked sexy when it was like this, and what better time to be a little sexy than on a date?_

* * *

><p><em>At exactly seven o'clock, I saw Braden pull up in front of the house. Not wanting to be questioned by my dad, I rushed out the door and met Braden just as he was getting out of the vehicle.<em>

_"I was going to go knock on the door," he said playfully, getting back in the vehicle._

_"My dad was watching TV," I said. "I didn't need him to ask you a bunch of questions or better yet ask me a bunch of questions."_

_"He doesn't know we're going on a date?"_

_"No. I mean, you don't want people to know you're gay right? Why would I tell my dad, or anyone else for that matter, that we're going on a date if you're not comfortable with letting people know?"_

_"Thanks Kurt. That means a lot," he said. His voice had a different tone than it normally did. I couldn't place what it was. "So, Breadstix? I'll be honest, I'm not super hungry. My sister is visiting and she ordered a pizza and wanted to have a dinner with all of us. I couldn't really say no..."_

_"Why don't we just head to the theatre then?" I suggested. "I have a family dinner every Friday night so I was only going to get a salad."_

_"Sounds like a plan," said Braden. "Are you sure you don't mind?"_

_"Positive!" I said. I was slightly disappointed to find that we wouldn't be spending dinner holding hands, or playing footsie under the table, or getting to know each other better. But I supposed it made sense. Braden wouldn't really want to be seen in public with me doing couple-y things, at least not until after graduation when he could move away from Lima._

_We drove in the direction of the theater. It was strange. Braden and I weren't saying anything to each other. Usually we were able to start a conversation within seconds of seeing each other. There was a thick tension in the vehicle and I had no idea what to make of it._

_"Braden? If you don't want to do this, all you have to do is say so," I said. That had to be it. Doing this was probably really stressing him out._

_"No, no Kurt. I want to. I'm just nervous, I guess," Braden replied, shooting me a quick glance. "I don't want to screw up what we already have."_

_A smile quickly spread across my lips. "I'm sure it won't. Just relax. You're making me nervous!" _

_Braden chuckled. "I'll try."_

_By the time we got to the theater, things between us slowly fell into what they were normally. There was still an edge to the air between us, but we were both a lot more at ease._

_Braden bought both the snacks and the tickets to my enjoyment. We found seats at the back of the theater and talked while we waited for it the movie to start._

_When the movie started, I found myself leaning into Braden. Had there not been an arm rest between us and had we not been in public, I'm sure I would have been as close as possible to him. We were sharing a bag of popcorn and our fingers kept brushing against each other, making my heart flutter. Was this what dating was really like? I had been missing out on a lot more than I thought I'd been._

_When the credits started to roll, Braden and I took our time leaving. We talked enthusiastically about the movie while slowly putting on our coats. We took a stop at the bathroom before leaving the theater._

_"Kurt?" Braden asked as we stepped outside._

_"Yes?" I replied, looking at him._

_"I really want to kiss you."_

_My heart fluttered. He wanted to kiss me! A boy actually wanted me to kiss him! "I- Me too," I answered, blushing bright red. _

_"Not here though." Braden quickly glanced around. "Come on," he said, grabbing my hand and leading me in the opposite direction of the parking lot._

_"Where are we going?" I asked as I let him lead me. My stomach felt as if I had fifty butterflies in it fluttering around in excitement._

_"There's an alley just behind the theater. No one will see," he answered._

_My brow furrowed. An alley didn't sound like the safest place to be. What if there were gang members hiding that would beat us up? I didn't say anything though. I wanted my first kiss._

_He led me around the back of the theater. The alley we came up to was dark. The only light fled in from the street, but there wasn't much. The only things I could see were the outline of some dumpsters and a couple rickety fire escapes. It seemed like the perfect place to buy drugs. _

_"Are you sure it's safe in there?" I asked Braden._

_"Of course it is!" Braden exclaimed. "It'll be fine. Trust me."_

_Taking a deep breath, I nodded and let him lead me in. We were a couple feet down the alley when I heard a noise and jumped._

_"What was that?" I exclaimed._

_"Just a cat," Braden said. "Relax Kurt."_

_"I think we're far enough in-" I began nervously._

_"Let's just go behind the dumpsters."_

_"Why can't we just-"_

_"Please Kurt?" Braden asked. "It's just, I know if we're completely hidden, nobody will see us."_

_I sighed. "Okay. But... No farther than that."_

_We got to the dumpsters and Braden immediately pressed me against the wall. He began to lean in. My eyes had fluttered shut as all my fantasies for my first kiss flashed before my eyes. This was better than all of them. Our lips were less than an inch away. Then he stopped._

_"You know what's kind of funny?" he asked._

_"What's that?" I said breathlessly. _

_"That you actually thought I was gay."_

_Suddenly, I felt something cold land on my head and drip down my neck. A slushie. I let out a shriek and immediately tried to pull away but I was trapped against the brick wall behind me._

_Bellows of laughter sounded in my ears._

_"Holy shit!"_

_"Nice one man!"_

_"That was the best!"_

_"Holy shit he sounds like a girl!"_

_I saw Braden grin as dread filled me. "So do I get that jacket now or not?"_

_"Not just yet," one of the other jocks replied._

_"Ah, yes," Braden said, turning to me with a malicious grin. "I almost forgot about that part."_

_"Wha-What? I-I don't under-understand-" A sudden punch to my stomach made me double over in pain. I let out a cry._

_"All you need to know Hummel, is that I'm completely straight, and that you are completely gullible," Braden said snidely. "You actually believed that I was gay but too scared to come out of the closet. It's pathetic."_

_"B-But why?" I asked, clutching my stomach as tears began to leak out the corner of my eyes._

_"Because you're a faggot and we don't like you spreading your fairy dust around our school," one of the other jocks responded. "We thought it would be fun to teach you a lesson. And Braden here was so enthusiastic about helping us out."_

_I let out a whimper. I covered my mouth with my hand to try and muffle the sound of the sobs that started to make my body shake. I had been played. Braden never gave a damn about me. He was just using me to get a jacket._

_"Look at him! Crying like a little girl!"_

_"Do you need your dolly Hummel?"_

_"Would getting you your tea set and tiaras help?" Braden asked condescendingly. _

_The jocks howled with laughter._

_"Oh god, you serious man?"_

_"He's more of a girl than we thought!"_

_"I should be getting home soon," Braden said. "My dad wants to hear all about how the evening went. Shall we continue this then, boys?"_

_The jocks whooped in agreement. Then the punches began to fly._

_I curled in on myself when the second punch hit, trying to make myself smaller. By the fifth punch, I had stopped whimpering every time they hit me. By the seventh punch, I had fallen to the ground. By the tenth punch they started to kick me. By the third kick, I heard a crack._

_I don't remember how long the beating went on, but they were careful with me. I could tell that they were only hurting me where bruises and cuts would be invisible. They weren't causing any damage to my head, mostly to my torso and legs. _

_"Guys, if we want to catch that movie we should head inside," one of the jocks eventually said._

_"What do we do with the fag?"_

_"Leave him," I heard Braden say. "Come on."_

_And then they left me. I laid there not moving for a long time. I didn't want to move. When I tried, it felt like I was being beaten all over again. I eventually forced myself to sit up, letting out quiet moans of pain as I did so. I could feel dried blood all over myself. Bruises were beginning to form, and my side was sending sharp stabs of pain throughout my body every time I moved._

_After a while longer, I eventually forced myself into a standing position. It took more effort than I possessed. I didn't lean on the wall knowing my back would be incredibly sore and bruised. I heard loud sobs coming from somewhere. It took me about ten minutes to realize they were mine._

_I had been betrayed and abandoned. Braden never cared about me, not once. He planned to have me attacked. He never cared about me. I was nothing more than a plaything to him._

_With shaking hands, I fumbled into my pocket to get my phone so that I could call for help. When I pulled it out, I realized that the screen was terribly cracked. I tried using it anyways, but the phone wasn't recognizing my finger._

_I had no way of getting home, and no way to call for help. But then again, who would I call? I couldn't call my dad without worrying him. I couldn't call Mercedes, Rachel, or Finn without being questioned and having my answers somehow getting back to my dad._

_So I walked._

_The movie theater was on the opposite side of town as my house. It would take me at least an hour to walk back home if I was in good physical condition. And if taking a single step took all my efforts, it would take me much longer than an hour._

_Slowly, step by step, I made it back home. It was almost midnight by the time I got inside. Luckily, my dad had fallen asleep on the couch so I didn't have to answer any questions. _

_I went downstairs to take a shower in my en suite bathroom. I didn't know how well I'd be able to get myself clean when every time I moved my muscles cried out in protest, but I figured I'd be able to get some of the dirt and blood off._

_The hot water made my cuts sting. The pressure that I usually loved so much made me flinch every other second. When I decided that I got most of the blood off, or when I couldn't take it any longer, I turned off the hot water and got out of the shower. I changed into a pair of loose pyjamas and climbed into bed._

* * *

><p><em>I was thankful that we had our date – no, not a date – on a Friday night. When I woke up Saturday morning, I could barely move. I stayed in bed all day that day watching reruns of America's Next Top Model along with home decorating shows. The only time I left my bed was to get something to eat or drink or to go to the bathroom.<em>

_Aside from the cuts and bruises, I suspected that I had broken a rib. I didn't say anything though. If I said something, then I would only be questioned._

_I told my dad that I was sick when he came downstairs. I hoped that I would be able to stay home on Monday as well under that pretense, but unfortunately I was forced to go. Two days of bed rest was enough for me, according to my dad._

* * *

><p><em>When I walked into school Monday morning with Finn, I was immediately shoved into a locker. I let out a loud cry of pain. The bruises from Friday were extremely tender to the touch. Finn gave me a look of concern. They shoved me no harder than they normally did. My reaction confused him.<em>

_"Are you okay?" he asked._

_I ignored him and headed to class. He didn't really care._

_Throughout the day, the jocks had been taunting me mercilessly. They made fun of me for falling for their trick when I was alone, along with the usual taunts and name calls. Once they discovered that I was flinching at loud noises, they slammed their hands on lockers and on other things that would make a loud sound simply to see me react._

* * *

><p><em>The jocks had plenty of fun torturing me every day. They began to attack me more often than they ever had before, using a wider variety of techniques. Not only were the slushies and locker slams augmented, but they had restarted throwing me into dumpsters. They locked me in lockers and port-a-potties. They vandalized my things. Their methods slowly got more creative, more humiliating and more painful. My rib was not getting any less sensitive, and my back had bruises on bruises on bruises. <em>

_I started to resent myself. Why did I have to be gay? It only gave me problems. It only caused me pain._

_I began to avoid the glee club and stay by myself. No one noticed what was going on with me. No one noticed that something had happened to me, or that I was being bullied every single day. I never said anything at lunch, and I never tried to fight for a solo in glee club. I began to only pretend to sing and no one noticed. I didn't matter._

_Mercedes and Rachel frequently asked me to go to the mall with them but I always denied them. They never questioned me, or asked me why. They just turned and began to talk to each other. The others only talked amongst themselves and left me out whatever conversations they were having. I would get up and leave the table and no one would try and stop me._

_Eventually, I stopped going to glee club meetings. No one noticed that I never showed up, or if they did, they didn't care enough to question me about it._

_I put on fake smiles at home. My dad thought everything was going fine at school and that the bullying had let up. He was completely wrong, but at least he wasn't worried._

_My dad proposed to Carole and we all moved into a larger house after the wedding. I had made up an excuse about not being able to plan the wedding. Planning weddings was something only someone gay would do. I didn't want to be gay. Maybe if I wasn't so gay then the jocks wouldn't torture me as much._

_I started to wear plain clothes like the ones the jocks wore. I boxed up what I used to wear and put the boxes in the attic. I took off all the music from my iPod and replaced it with classic rock music. That was what most straight guys listened to, from my understanding. I stopped doing my skin care routine and gave my products to Carole._

_No one noticed that there was something wrong. My dad and Carole thought I was just going through a phase. Everyone else didn't even realize that I was changing._

* * *

><p><em>"Hey dude, have you seen my jockstrap?" asked Finn as he walked into my room. <em>

_I had been in the process of getting changed into pyjamas. I had been digging through drawers with my back towards the door when I heard him walk in._

_"G-get out Finn!" I exclaimed, turning to him with a glare._

_But he had frozen. He was staring at me with a sense of confusion and worry. I realized that he was staring at my chest which was covered with bruises of all different colors. I quickly crossed my arms over my chest._

_"Did you not hear me? I s-said get out!"_

_"No," he said, walking towards me. He uncrossed my arms and stared at my torso in shock. "Where did you get these?"_

_"Get out."_

_"No."_

_"Finn, leave my b-bedroom right now!"_

_"I'M NOT LEAVING UNTIL YOU TELL ME WHERE THE HELL YOU GOT THOSE BRUISES!" he yelled. _

_I flinched and almost fell into a corner. I managed to stay on my feet. I didn't need to give myself bruises. "Where d-do you think Finn!" I exclaimed. "It's not exactly hard to g-guess!"_

_"These aren't all from school. They bully you a lot, but not this much."_

_"Bullshit. Like you even notice that I g-get bullied," I sneered._

_"I do notice! And I try to tell the guys to stop but they never listen."_

_I snorted. "You don't try. You're too worried about your precious rep-reputation."_

_"Maybe I don't try hard enough, and I'm sorry for that, but I do try," Finn defended. "Is... Is this why you quit glee club?" he asked quietly._

_"Oh so you've finally noticed that I've qu-quit. That's g-great. It's only taken you w-weeks."_

_"I'm not just noticing it Kurt," Finn said. "And will you stop being such an asshole? I'm trying to help."_

_"G-go away Finn."_

_"But-"_

_"Get out of my room!"_

_With a sigh, he did._

* * *

><p><em>After that, Finn began to follow me during school hours. As often as I told him to go away, he stayed at my side, and walked me to every class diligently. I assumed he was trying to defend me from the jocks, but he didn't do the best job at it. I often found ways to escape him. He tried though.<em>

_Just like I found ways to escape Finn, the jocks found ways to abuse me without Finn knowing. I would be locked in dumpsters or port-a-potties. I would be shoved into lockers, or be called names. But the bullying had toned down a lot compared to what it had been before Finn had followed me._

_I didn't realize just what extent Finn was helping me too._

* * *

><p><em>We were sitting at the kitchen table. It was Friday night, a week after Finn had discovered about the bullying. I was stabbing a piece of beef with my fork when Finn began to talk.<em>

_"You guys are starting to plan for your honeymoon, right?" asked Finn. "You're going to Hawaii, right?"_

_"We were thinking Hawaii, yes," my dad said proudly. "We have just enough savings for it."_

_Carole smiled brightly at him. "Why do you ask?"_

_"I know you guys just got married, and that usually people who get married go on a honeymoon, but I don't think you two should go on one," Finn said._

_"Why's that?" asked Carole._

_"We aren't buying you a new car Finn," said Burt. "The one you have is perfectly fine."_

_"I don't want a new car! Well, I do, but that's not what I think you should spend the money on," Finn said. "Can I get something from my room?"_

_"I- Sure," my dad answered. When Finn got up and left, he turned to me. "Do you know what he's talking about?"_

_I shook my head no._

_When Finn returned with a number of sheets of paper, he sat down and passed them to my dad. "Dalton Academy is a private school in Westerville. I think you should spend the money on tuition. I looked up the price of Hawaii trips, and tuition is just a little bit less than that. You could pay for tuition, and then go on a really small honeymoon in, like, Columbus or something."_

_"You want to go to a private school?" Carole asked. "I thought you liked McKinley."_

_"No, I do!" Finn said. "It's, not for me, it's for Kurt!"_

_"I d-don't want to go to a p-private school Finn," I told him._

_"Why are you even bringing this up if Kurt doesn't want to go?" asked my dad._

_"Dalton has only guys. There aren't any girls. And-"_

_"Th-That doesn't mean they're g-gay Finn, if that's what you're g-getting at," I snapped._

_"It also has an anti-bullying program that's actually, um, enforced," he continued, staring directly at me._

_I glared at him, realizing what he was trying to do. "I-I don't need an anti-bullying p-program, Finn."_

_"Yes you do."_

_"No I don't! I'm fine at McKinley!"_

_"Kurt, you aren't getting bullied, are you?" my dad asked me._

_"It's f-fine."_

_"No it's not!" Finn exclaimed_

_"Finn, honey, calm down a moment," Carole said. "Let Kurt speak."_

_"I'm not going to calm down! Kurt's getting tortured every day there-"_

_"I'm managing!"_

_"A purple and yellow chest and back doesn't look like managing to me Kurt!" Finn exclaimed. "They're treating you like a punching bag! You can't even tell your skin colour from the amount of bruises you have! I've been following you around all week trying to protect you but I know you find ways to avoid me and I know they find ways to attack you!"_

_"I'm m-managing!" I repeated. My heart rate accelerated. Why was he saying all of this in front of my dad? He would start worrying about me too much and that couldn't be good for his health._

_"Kurt, is this true?" my dad asked, giving me a worried look._

_"N-no it's not."_

_"Yes it is! I don't know exactly what's happening, but I know it's bad. And I know the bullying has something to do with you quitting glee club!"_

_"You quit glee club?" my dad asked, and everything went silent in the room. Everyone stared at me with a variety of expressions._

_I turned to my dad. "I d-don't like singing anymore. That's a-all."_

_"Bullshit," he said. "You love singing Kurt."_

_"No I don't. N-not anymore. It's not like I m-matter in that room anyways."_

_"You've been changing your clothes," Carole suddenly said. _

_"So? P-people change st-styles all the time."_

_"Kurt, I want you to tell us right now what is happening at school," my dad ordered firmly._

_"Nothing," I said quietly, curling in on myself._

_"Kurt became friends with the new guy on the team, Braden Goter," Finn piped up. I winced and blinked back tears. "But now it seems like they aren't friends. I don't know for sure but I think he had something to do with it."_

_"Shut up Finn!" I exclaimed. _

_Carole noticed my reaction. "Kurt, can I see the bruises Finn mentioned?"_

_"I don't h-have any bruises."_

_"He's lying!"_

_"Finn, please be quiet," said Carole. "If there aren't any bruises, then this conversation can end. But if there are, and if the bullying is really as bad as Finn thinks, then we need to consider having you change schools so that you'll be safe."_

_"No."_

_"Kurt, please."_

_"I'm g-gay, I'm always going to be b-bullied. It doesn't matter if I have a few bruises."_

_"Can I please just look at the ones you have then, to make sure that they're healing all right?"_

_"They're healing f-fine. I know f-first aid."_

_"Kurt!" my dad exclaimed loudly, slamming his hand down on the table in frustration. _

_I gave a large flinch and instinctively curled in on myself. My eyes were wide with fear and I began to shake. "Please don't hurt me," I whispered quietly._

_No one moved._

_"Kurt, I'm- I'm not gonna hurt you buddy," I heard him say. He sounded completely devastated. "I would never hurt you. I love you kiddo," he said, gently placing a hand on my arm. I flinched again and he retracted his hand quickly._

_"Why don't you go upstairs and relax for a little bit Kurt," Carole suggested gently._

_I quickly got up and left the dining room. My eyes were trained to the floor. When I got to my room, I laid under the covers and struggled to find the most comfortable position. I knew my reaction to my dad had given everything away. There was no doubt that they were talking to Finn more about Dalton at this very moment._

_I didn't want to transfer. I didn't want to go to a new school where I knew no one. I didn't have a doubt that their bullying program was a complete scam. They were teenage boys; they weren't respectful or accepting. And with it being a private school, their rich parents would certainly have strong opinions about homosexuality that would be refracted onto their children. I would be just as tortured there as I would be at McKinley, if not worse._

_It was a quarter after six when I heard a knock on my bedroom door. _

_"Come in," I said weakly. I watched as Carole came into my bedroom._

_"How are you doing?" she asked, sitting on the edge of my bed._

_"I'm fine," I replied._

_"Kurt?" I looked and saw my dad standing apprehensively in the doorway. "I'm really sorry about dinner. I didn't mean to scare you, and I would never hurt you-"_

_"I know you w-wouldn't," I said. "I don't know why I r-reacted like that."_

_He still seemed unhappy, but he nodded. _

_"I'm going to make an assumption that it's a post-traumatic stress reaction to the bullying," Carole said gently. "Is it really as bad as Finn thinks it is? Please tell me the truth."_

_"No," I said quietly after a few moments. "It- It's worse."_

_"Can you tell us about it?" my dad asked. _

_"I don't w-want to worry you," I mumbled._

_"I think you'll worry us more by not telling," Carole encouraged gently._

_I bit my lip._

_"Kurt, please," my dad said._

_I made the mistake of looking up into his eyes. They were filled with more concern and worry than I thought possible. He silently begged me to open up to him. I did._

_I told them everything that had been happening since elementary school. I told him about all the grievances that had been occurring since high school started. At some point during the story I had curled up into my dad's side. Carole was stroking my hair gently like my mom used to do. I didn't mention Braden though. Not at first._

_"What about that Braden boy Finn mentioned?" Carole prompted gently when I stopped speaking._

_I immediately tensed up. My dad could feel my muscles clench and my breathing stuttering. He quickly wrapped an arm around me and brought me closer. He didn't usually hug me. He wasn't really comfortable with physical affection like this. In most occurrences when he did, I would soak up as much of the contact as I could. This time though, I flinched and let out a whimper. He had – unknowingly – put pressure on my sore ribs._

_"Kurt?" my dad asked me worriedly._

_"I- It's not you. I-I've just been sore there all day. I-I think I kn-knocked my arm on something during glee club," I lied._

_"Finn said you quit glee club," Carole said._

_"I-"_

_"Kurt?"_

_"I just hit it."_

_"Are you sure someone else didn't hit it?" my dad asked._

_I bit my lip. That was all the confirmation they needed._

_"What happened honey?" Carole asked._

_After a long period of silence, I told them about Braden. I told them how we became friends, and how he eventually told me that he was gay. I told them about how I told him a lot about myself, and some things he told me. How I started falling for him, and eventually about the date we went on. When I mentioned going into the alley with him, my throat started to close up. I managed to say that there were other members of the football team waiting there for us when I had to stop._

_My dad immediately leapt off the bed in anger. He had filled in the blanks. It wasn't hard to. We were in Ohio after all. "So what, you got beat up? They beat you up for being proud of who you are? God, I'm going to call that school and-"_

_"And what dad?" I exclaimed. "I've tried! They don't give a damn if the school f-fag gets attacked daily! They think I deserve it! And you know what, m-maybe I do!"_

_"Don't talk like that Kurt."_

_"Well then how the hell am I s-supposed to talk?" I asked. "Act like it's g-going to get better? It's never going to get b-better! People are always going to be prejudiced! I'm always going to get treated b-badly no matter where I end up going! It d-doesn't matter to them if I live or die and m-maybe it doesn't ma-matter to me anymore."_

_"Kurt Hummel, don't you dare talk like that!" my dad exclaimed. "I love you Kurt. You mean the world to me! Maybe others treat you awfully but to me, you matter more than anything else."_

_"It's getting too h-hard t-to make it thr-through every day," I whispered._

_"We're going to fix that," he promised me. "On Monday, I'm going to go to school and give Figgins a piece of my mind. If he doesn't agree to help change things, then we'll send you to a new school where you'll be safe."_

_"I-I don't w-want to change schools. It-It'll j-just be the same a-as McKinley."_

_"We'll talk about it later," he said gently. "We were talking to Finn about the research he did-"_

_"It-It's too ex-expensive," I argued. "Y-You won't be able t-to go on your honeymoon."_

_"Hawaii will always be there," Carole responded gently. "Your safety matters more than a vacation. Dalton's anti-bullying program is very strict, Kurt. Finn's research isn't fake. According to the website, kids will get suspended for using derogatory language, and they'll get expelled if they do any physical bullying. Their parents are all doctors, lawyers, successful businessmen... They expect their kids to get into a good school after high school and they usually can't if they get expelled. The kids that go there usually get in to Ivy League schools, so on top of the no bullying, their education is very high quality. I know you find McKinley boring, so Dalton would challenge you academically."_

_"They have a glee club too," my dad added._

_"I don't want t-to sing," I mumbled. "Besides, w-we aren't rich. I-I'd be out of p-place in a school full of trust fund babies."_

_"But you'd be safe," Burt said quietly. "I'll talk to Figgins on Monday. If he doesn't give me what I want, I'm pulling you out of McKinley and we're going to transfer you to Dalton. I know it's not what you want, but I'm not going to let you get abused anymore."_

* * *

><p><em>I showed Carole the bruises after my dad left the room. She helped wrap my ribs and she put cream on my bruises to help them heal. She didn't say anything as she did so, but I could see the pity in her eyes.<em>

_Throughout the weekend, everyone in the house was cautious around me. I told my dad a few more things about what had been happening at school. I never said very much at a time, but I gave him more information than I planned. Finn somehow learned what had happened with... him. He gave me all the TV rights that weekend, even though there was a game he wanted to watch. It was his way of apologizing and making me feel better._

_Like promised, early Monday morning, my dad and I arrived at principal's office. Right after our talk Friday night, my dad had called the school and left a message saying that we would meet Figgins in his office at eight o'clock Monday morning with no exceptions. I didn't hear what he had said on the phone, but whatever it was must have sounded threatening because the secretaries were extremely jumpy and were very quick to acquire what my dad asked of them._

_When we were allowed inside Figgins' office, he was twiddling his fingers nervously on his desk while Mr. Schuester and Coach Sylvester stood on opposite sides of the room. Mr. Schuester seemed concerned and slightly worried. Coach Sylvester looked bored, but I could see traces of concern in her eyes. _

_The two chairs in front of Figgins' desk were free for us to sit. I look the one on the left and my dad took the one on the right._

_"What can I help you with Mr. Hummel?" asked Figgins._

_My dad scoffed. "I think you know. My message was clear enough."_

_"You said Kurt was being bullied," Mr. Schuester said. "What exactly has been happening?"_

_"You're telling me you have absolutely no idea what's going on?" my dad said angrily._

_"Well, there are slushies but I don't think-"_

_"The slushies aren't even half of it," my dad snapped cutting him off. "My son gets locked in port-a-potties, in lockers, and in the goddamn dumpsters! He gets slammed into lockers so often... If you look at his skin you can't tell what color it's supposed to be."_

_"That's just boys being boys Mr. Hummel," Figgins said._

_"Bullshit," my dad said angrily. "They're doing hate attacks."_

_"Mr. Hummel, a little bit of friendly shoving isn't hate attacks," Figgins said._

_"Did you not hear a word of what I just said?" my dad exclaimed. "It isn't 'playful shoving'. They're deliberately attacking him and making his life a living hell. None of your staff seems to give a damn about what's going on. In fact they've been participating! Kurt gets marked harder than everyone else in this school."_

_"Mr. Hummel, it is not the teacher's fault if your son is not doing well on tests-"_

_"No, it is. Because he'll give the exact same work, if not more, as another student and get a lower mark for it."_

_"Mr. Hummel," Mr. Schuester began. "I've never done that-"_

_"You're even worse Schuester. I'll get to you," my dad said, glaring at him. "My son didn't choose to be gay, yet he's being treated like it's his fault that he loves the same gender. Kurt is miserable at this pitiful excuse for a school."_

_"I see him every day in glee club and he looks perfectly fine," Mr. Schuester cut in._

_"I haven't g-gone to glee in weeks," I said quietly. I could see that my response surprised him. He hadn't even noticed that I hadn't been showing up._

_"You say you give a damn about your kids Schuester, but you don't. Kurt quit glee club in hopes that some of the bullying would ease up, and you didn't even notice. You're just as oblivious as the rest of them. You're worse because you act like you're a better person but you're not. You're just the same as them."_

_"But I do care!"_

_My dad ignored him. "At the start of school my son befriended a new student. That student, Braden Goter, pretended he was gay in private and later convinced my son to go on a date with him. When they ended their date, Braden took my son into an alley. He had planned to have a group of football players waiting. They beat up my son and left him to walk home," my dad said. His voice was laced with fury and protectiveness. "That's a hate attack, and the students at this school did it, just like all the other hate crimes they've committed against my son. I request an expulsion of Braden Goter and all the other players that participated."_

_"I am very sorry that happened, but we cannot control the actions of students off our property," Figgins responded calmly. "We have no proof aside from your son's word that any of that occurred. We can't expulse him or any others."_

_"You're not even going to try?"_

_"I'm afraid the school board won't allow it."_

_"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard," he snapped. "What about the bullying in school?"_

_"There isn't any proof. No teachers have stated any problems," Figgins responded. "I can't have teachers roam the halls during breaks because they will be late to classes."_

_"I'll roam the halls," Coach Sylvester said suddenly. "Mr. Hummel, I will personally file an expulsion letter to the school board-"_

_"Only the principal can do that!"_

_"Shut it Figgy," Sue snapped. "I will roam the halls and I can blackmail the other teachers-"_

_"You can't do that!"_

_"You bet I can," Sue snapped._

_"I appreciate your efforts," my dad said to Coach Sylvester. "But one person won't have enough of an effect to protect my son against the entire school. I want an anti-bullying program."_

* * *

><p><em>They argued for over an hour when my dad eventually declared that I wouldn't be attending McKinley anymore. Even though I didn't want to go to Dalton, a sense of relief washed through me. There was no doubt that I would continue to be bullied, but I would be able to relax and stay away from McKinley until I had to transfer.<em>

_When my dad stated that I would be transferring to Dalton Academy, Sue offered to write a letter of recommendation. Mr. Schuester tried to convince us to stay, but my dad ignored him. Figgins helped him fill in the required forms to cancel my registration for McKinley._

_I took everything out of my locker and that was that._

_When we got home, my dad immediately called Dalton to start the registration. After explaining the situation, they agreed to let me into the school. Forms were sent to our house and I began to pack up boxes of things that I would take to the school. I tried to argue about dorming, but my dad ultimately decided that I would be staying in the dorms so that I would not have to drive. _

_Exactly a week after pulling me out of McKinley, I started classes at Dalton._

* * *

><p>Blaine never spoke while I told my story. He let me speak. He let me get it out in my own time, even if I was quiet for minutes during my story. He held my hand and simply listened. When I started to struggle with words, or with my emotions, Blaine would simply rub his thumb over my hand and everything would get easier.<p>

A weight slowly began to lift off my shoulders as I told him everything. Telling him what had happened seemed to help me more than when I told my dad and Carole. Maybe it was because I wanted to, not because I was forced to. Maybe it was because Blaine had been through similar things. Maybe it was because I was taking a risk and trusting Blaine with everything. Maybe it was because I was mentally healing. I didn't know. It helped though.

When I finished, Blaine pulled me into a tight hug. I didn't respond, but I savoured his touch, and his warm skin.

"Thank you for trusting me Kurt," he whispered to me, tucking his chin over my shoulder. "I l... I really care for you. I won't tell anyone what you told me, not without your permission."

I nodded and tucked myself closer into Blaine. "I know," I whispered. "Would it be possible to do the same about my singing? I'm not... I'm just finding my voice again and I just... I don't really..."

"I know. You have my word. Scout's honour."

"You were a boy scout?"

"Well..."

"That's adorable."

"Hush you," Blaine giggled.

* * *

><p><strong>And that's what happened to Kurt.<strong>

**If you want to tell me what you thought of the chapter (or yell at me, that's okay too), then please leave a review. Thank you to everyone who leaves reviews!**

**THANK YOU AGAIN FOR YOUR PATIENCE AND FOR CONTINUING TO READ I LOVE YOU ALL!**

**I'm going to make another promise that it won't take as long to update because Christmas Break starts the day of the apocalypse! I will have time to write then.**

**Thank you again guys :)**


	19. Chapter 19

**Again, I am so sorry. My laptop had to go into repair, then finals, then writer's block, a new semester with a crazy start... Life gets busy. But it's up now at least? I had to get into a new arc in this and redo the outline, as I have veered far off my original course. But both are done now, and it should be easier to write.**

**I realize that this is fairly short compared to some other chapters in this fic, but I did like the ending to it so I decided to leave it.**

**THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO REVIEWS! Even if it's just a "Hey update this", it means a lot, and it inspires me to push through writer's block and to find time to write. To everyone who does that, thank you. I know I'm awful at updating, but I am not abandoning this story anytime soon.**

**I don't own Glee.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 19<strong>

I was shaken from reliving all of my past. Maybe it would seem out of place to others, but Blaine made joke after joke as we sat in the auditorium, making me smile and laugh; making me forget about what had happened to me, just for a little while.

After some time we laid down on the stage. I found myself curled into his side and my head rested on his chest. I could feel the steady thump of his heart below where my head was pressed. My fingers gripped his blazer without my realization as a subconscious desire to stay close to him. After telling him everything... I needed the physical contact. His arm, placed firmly around my waist, showed that maybe he had the same desire towards me.

Eventually, I heard Blaine's stomach rumble, sounding so out of place in the large theatre aside from our breathing and quiet voices.

"Hungry?" I asked.

"Starving," he responded. I looked up at him and noticed his eyes were closed peacefully. There was no desire to go and eat something on his face.

"Are you going to eat?"

"Are you trying to get rid of me?" he asked, opening one eye and looking back at me.

"No! I-I was just wondering," I replied, my cheeks flaming. I glanced at my hands, but made no effort to uncurl them from the lapels of his blazer.

"Right now I'm more than happy to lie here with you," Blaine answered, smiling softly at me.

"Okay." I whispered. A warm, fuzzy feeling spread through my stomach. Was this what being happy felt like? I had forgotten just how wonderful it felt, to be free from worries, and just _happy_. But this feeling... I hadn't felt it before. Had I ever been truly happy? Or was I feeling something else?

"I can hear you thinking," Blaine murmured. Fingers drew ghosts of circles on my back causing goose bumps to form beneath my shirt and blazer.

"I'm just... I think I'm happy," I responded, struggling slightly to find the words. "For the first time in... I don't know how long. Ever, maybe?"

"Don't think about it," he replied gently. "You deserve to be happy. If you think too much about it, you'll remember the bad things. Just be happy."

I nodded against his firm chest and said nothing more.

After about ten minutes, his stomach rumbled again.

"Are you sure you don't want to go eat something?" I asked.

"Only if you will."

I lifted my head off of his chest and sat up, pretending not to notice the whines of discontent that Blaine made. "I'm actually pretty hungry," I stated. "And this stage isn't comfortable whatsoever." _Neither is it good for my clothes_, I thought bitterly. I stilled briefly – too briefly for anyone to notice – and thought, _I haven't thought about mishandling clothes in a long time_.

"Fine." Blaine pouted but sat up.

I blushed again. Looking at my hands, I had not noticed Blaine standing up until a hand was blocking my vision. I took his offered hand and used it to pull myself up.

"You give really good cuddles," Blaine stated as we left the theatre. "We should do that again."

"Tell you everything depressing about my life while crying over you in the theatre?" I asked sarcastically.

He barked out a laugh. "No," he said. "Cuddle, except maybe not on a hard surface, because you were right. Stages aren't comfortable to lie on at _all_. My back is killing me."

I bit my lip. "I think I'd like that," I said shyly. Even though he had been the one to suggest it, I braced myself for rejection.

"Good," Blaine said, smiling gently at me. "Hey, do you know the time?"

"It's a quarter to eight," I said, looking at my phone.

"We were in there a while," he commented. "In fact we should get to the dining hall and grab something to eat before they close up."

"We missed last period," I stated, tugging my lower lip between my teeth and furrowing my brows.

"I missed Warblers too," said Blaine nonchalantly.

"You missed the Warblers?" I exclaimed. Guilt settled in the pit of my stomach. Blaine loved the Warblers. With the group in competition season as well, I felt awful for making him miss his practice.

"It's fine," he said. "I'm not the one that needs to practice."

"Cocky," I commented amusedly.

Blaine stuck his tongue out at me playfully. "But honestly, I'll just tell Wes that I had to do something important and I lost track of time. He won't care, much. I've never skipped a practice in my life. I won't tell him what kept me, I promise," he said, glancing at me reassuringly, "But it really won't be a huge deal. Now if we want to get food, we need to get to the dining hall now because the lunch ladies aren't huge fans of me ever since I fell into an entire week's supply worth of beef."

I let his comment sink in for a moment. "How on earth did you manage to do that?"

Blaine blushed bright pink. "I may have thought the freezer was closed but it wasn't so I fell into it and landed on the beef?" he said sheepishly.

I shook my head. "Only you, Blaine. Do I even want to know what you were doing back there in the first place?"

"It was an impromptu performance."

"In the kitchen?" I exclaimed.

"Explaining it out loud makes it sound stupid, so I'm not saying anything."

"Oh, no. I think I want to hear this story."

"No you don't!"

"I think I do."

"That's unfortunate for you then," Blaine said. "Come on, I know a shortcut."

He led me through the halls of Dalton, our hands still entwined together. His 'shortcut' I found was much longer than it would normally take to get to the cafeteria, but I didn't mind. I liked the feeling of his hand in mine and I didn't want to let go.

Telling him my past had brought to surface a number of emotions that I had kept tightly locked up in the back of my subconscious. They were all very strange, all very terrifying, and all very wonderful at the same time. They were feelings about everything that had happened to me, feelings that I'd been feeling recently, and feelings that only arose when Blaine was around. Without trying, I knew I wouldn't be able to mask them again. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to.

We didn't drop each other's hands until we got to the dorms.

"_Blaine Devon Anderson!_" Wes yelled. He was seated in an armchair facing the entrance to the dorms with a furious look in his eye. He stood up and walked over to us in long, determined strides.

"Hi Wes," Blaine said nervously.

I felt a slight pressure on my hand and realized that he was trying to get me to let go and go into my dorm room. He didn't want me to feel uncomfortable. I squeezed his hand gently. _I'm not leaving you to deal with this when it was my fault. You were there for me when I needed you, now it's my turn._

"Why didn't you show up to practice?"

"You were just working on harmonies right? I don't have any backing parts so I thought it would be okay if-"

"That doesn't matter! You could have helped members figure out their parts!" Wes exclaimed. "Every Warbler must be at practice at all times unless there was prior notification!"

"Sorry Wes," Blaine mumbled sheepishly.

"Don't 'sorry Wes' me, Anderson! Now what was so important that you had to skip- Oh," he said pausing. His eyes were focused on our locked hands.

I quickly dropped Blaine's hand without thinking. I felt a sudden lack of surety as soon as I had let go. His hand had grounded me, had made me feel calm and supported. I hadn't liked the attention focused on my hand in his, but I disliked the lack of connection between Blaine and I even more.

"Well. I suppose I'll let you off the hook this time, but don't do it again!" Wes tried to scold, but the grin he attempted to hide ruined the effect. "Can I talk to you in my dorm, Blaine? I'll just talk about what you missed."

"Yeah, sure," Blaine answered. Turning to me, he asked, "I'll see you later Kurt?"

"Yeah, see you," I said. "Bye Wes," I said, before heading up to my dorm.

I was working on my Literature homework when my phone notified me that I had a text from Blaine.

_Are you doing okay? It was a rough afternoon for you. – Blaine_

_I think so. Thank you for listening to me. – Kurt_

_Of course! I'll be here whenever you need someone to vent to :) – Blaine_

_Are you sure Wes isn't too angry? – Kurt_

_Honestly? Wes thinks we're dating now which is really annoying so if you want to avoid me for a while, I don't mind. – Blaine_

_I don't think I could avoid you even if I tried. – Kurt_

I bit my lip nervously as I waited for Blaine to respond. What was I doing? Was I flirting? Was I just being friendly? And _why_ was I acting like this? I told Blaine about everything but that didn't mean that I had to completely change my personality around him. I could still-

_Awww *blushes* - Blaine_

Was _he _flirting now? How did I respond? I didn't have enough experience with this. The only experience I had wasn't even real.

_When you say Wes thinks we're dating... Will he say anything to others? – Kurt_

_I can ask him not to – Blaine_

_Please. I just... I don't really want people to know I'm gay. I'm not ashamed I just don't feel comfortable telling people. – Kurt_

_I get it. I'll make sure he doesn't say anything. So I was wondering if you and I could sing something together. – Blaine_

_Haven't we done that? – Kurt_

_I want to look at you this time :) – Blaine_

_Okay. – Kurt_

My phone suddenly started to ring, making me jump. The caller display said it was my dad calling me. After calming myself down, I answered it.

"Hello?"

"Where are you?" my dad asked.

"What do you mean? I'm at school," I replied.

"Weren't you coming home this weekend?"

"It's- Oh my god, dad I'm so sorry. I forgot it was Friday. I completely missed dinner. I can leave now and make it home-"

"Don't you dare. It's too late. I don't want you to get in an accident," he said. "Come home in the morning."

"Are you sure?"

"I want you safe kiddo," he replied. "So how was your week?"

"It was..." I paused, debating whether or not to tell him about meeting Braden at the Lima Bean. I decided I should. He'd be angry enough that I didn't tell him earlier. "I saw B- _him_ when I was getting coffee with Blaine. He came up to us."

"Did he hurt you?" my dad said in a cold voice. "I swear to god if he laid a hand on you..."

"He did but Blaine defended me. I-I'm okay."

"Kurt-"

"Really. I have some bruises but it's not that bad. It could have been worse, but Blaine was there," I said. "He helped me."

"That kid is good for you. Don't close yourself off to him again."

"I did for a couple of days-"

"This happened _days _ago? Why didn't you tell me! You should have called me and-"

"I told him dad, today. I've been singing in the auditorium and Blaine followed me after our last class together. I told him everything."

"Told him- You told Blaine what happened to you?" my dad asked, completely dumbfounded by my statement.

"We missed last period but- he-he knows."

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay. I feel fine, surprisingly. Normal, maybe?" I answered.

"I'm proud of you kiddo," my dad replied.

I nodded, forgetting that he couldn't see me, and stayed quiet.

"Listen, I have to go. If you need anything, call me, okay? I don't care if it's two in the morning and you need someone to talk to because you had a nightmare. Call," he ordered gently.

"I will," I promised.

"I love you kiddo."

"I love you too."

* * *

><p>I arrived home just before noon the next morning.<p>

My dad was sitting in front of the television watching a game on TV. He looked up when I walked in the door.

"Hey kiddo," he said warmly. "How was the drive?"

I smiled weakly, but sincerely, making his face light up with joy. "It was good. Traffic was light."

"That's good," he said. "Go put your bag away and come back up. I want to talk to you. You aren't in trouble," he added quickly. "I just want to talk."

I nodded and went down to my bedroom. When I reached my bedroom, I slowly began to put things away, delaying the conversation between my dad and I. Based on the phone call we had last night, what he wanted to talk about was obvious.

I returned to the living room ten minutes later. The TV had been turned off and my dad was no longer in the room.

"Dad?" I called.

"Just getting a snack for us!" he called from the kitchen. "Sit down. Make yourself comfortable."

I sat gingerly on the edge of the couch. I tapped my fingers anxiously on the side of my leg as I waited for my dad to come back.

Moments later, my dad walked in the room holding a square box.

"Is that cheesecake?" I exclaimed excitedly, perking up.

He grinned at my enthusiastic reaction. "You bet it is. I was going to cut it into slices, but all the plates are in the dishwasher, so I figured why not just eat it from the box."

"That's so unhygienic though," I said. "What about germs and-"

He sat down beside me and gently placed the cheesecake on the coffee table in front of us. "Kiddo, I've seen the way you eat cheesecake. You don't need to worry about germs," my dad commented teasingly, passing me a fork.

I rolled my eyes, but stuck my fork into the decadent custard. He had a point.

"How are your grades doing?" he asked me, sticking his own fork into the cheesecake to take a bite.

"They're doing well," I replied. "I'm passing everything. Classes have calmed down now that I'm caught up."

"Physics is still going okay?"

"Yeah," I said. "Thanks to Blaine."

"It's good that you two are friends. He seems like he's really good for you."

I nodded, hiding my smile behind a forkful of cheesecake. "He's a good friend."

"Kurt, what happened with Braden this week? I was going to make small talk for a little bit, but I really just want to know what happened."

I sighed, even though I had expected his question.

"We were drinking coffee and joking around with each other. I guess He came in and decided to make fun of us when He saw me. I froze. Blaine, he immediately started to defend me, even though he was half His size and had no idea who He was." My dad gently placed a hand on my knee, making me jump. I continued speaking, pretending as if nothing had happened. "Blaine- I guess he was sort of taunting Him. He started getting violent, but Blaine wouldn't stand down. I stepped in when He started hitting Blaine. He kicked me a couple of times, and then an employee stopped him from going farther. I ran off, leaving Blaine soon after."

"What happened later?"

"I avoided Blaine for a few days. He kept trying to talk to me, but I closed myself off to him."

"What made you finally talk to him?"

"He sang to me in Music class. It was- sweet. I ran out of the room when the bell rang and went into the theatre and sang. Blaine followed me. And I told him."

"I'm proud of you Kurt."

"Why?" I immediately asked.

"Because you're brave. Opening up to someone after everything that happened to you takes a lot of courage. Dalton was good for you. You've gotten so much more confident and comfortable. You're a lot happier too." he explained. "Go pick a movie and let's finish this cheesecake."

I nodded, a small smile appearing on my face. I had changed a lot. Even though I wasn't exactly who I was before the incident, I was slowly becoming more alike to who I was then – who I really was. I doubted Old Kurt and New Kurt would ever be identical after everything that happened - no one would be exactly the same. And that was okay, because I would still be me.

* * *

><p>I got back to Dalton mid-afternoon on Sunday. After putting away everything in my bag, I began to trek the short distance to Blaine's dorm room. From what I knew of his schedule, which was more than I would ever admit to him, he would be finishing up his homework for the weekend with Wes and David.<p>

I stopped outside his bedroom door and heard voices on the other side. I was about to knock on his door when I heard my name.

Immediately, the worst scenarios came to mind. Blaine was planning something against me with Wes and David. Blaine was telling them that I could sing. Blaine was telling them about my past.

I forced myself to breathe and calm down. Maybe it wasn't bad. Maybe my name just happened to come up in the conversation. Maybe they were talking about something completely unrelated to me, and I mistakenly heard my name.

But maybe they were planning something against me.

Taking another handful of deep breaths, I calmed down and placed my ear against the door. Yes, I was eavesdropping, but I needed to know if I could trust Blaine or not.

"Speaking of Kurt," Wes said. "Are you having any luck with him?" _Any luck? What was that supposed to mean? He isn't planning something is he?_

"We're friends," Blaine said.

"Blaine," David scolded playfully. "We're giving you a chance to gush about someone other than Neil Patrick Harris. These opportunities don't usually come up."

"Gush? What are you talking about?" Blaine replied innocently.

"Do we really look that stupid to you?" Wes said. "Kurt, Blaine. You and Kurt."

"What about me and Kurt?"

"Kurt and I!" Wes exclaimed.

"No one cares Wes!" David called back. "We want to know about how you're dating him."

"We aren't dating."

"Oh really?" Wes said. "Then why were you holding hands Friday afternoon?"

"Friends can hold hands," Blaine said defensively. "You two are doing it now."

"That- That is _beside_ the point," David said. "Wes and I have been best friends for ages."

"And Kurt's my best friend, so there you go," Blaine said. I could picture him crossing his arms in an attempt to look angry. He couldn't pull it off. My chest swelled at his admission, though. I was happy to be held so highly by Blaine.

"Fine. For now we'll accept that you're friends. But you do like him, am I right?"

"I don't-" A sigh. "Am I that obvious?"

I froze. That wasn't the answer that I had been expecting. Blaine... he was interested in me? Why? There were so many more single, attractive gay guys our age, not only in Dalton, but in the rest of the world too. Why would he be interested in _me_? Someone who couldn't give him what he wanted?

"The only person who can't tell that you're in love with Kurt is Kurt," David said.

"You should tell him," Wes encouraged.

"I can't just tell him!"

"Why not?"

"Because he won't believe me!"

"Why not?" David asked.

"It- It doesn't matter," Blaine said, catching himself before he accidentally revealed my past. "He's been through a lot and he's still recovering."

"Help the recovery-"

"That's what I'm trying to do!"

"-By asking him out."

Blaine groaned. "That would make things worse."

"How do you know? It might make things better."

"He's not ready for a boyfriend."

"You can't speak for Kurt, Blaine," said David. "And besides, he's changed a lot since he came to Dalton. He's so much more confident than he was when he first arrived. Maybe all he wants right now _is _a boyfriend."

"If you don't know what happened to him before he came here, how do you know what he wants now?" Wes pointed out.

"I do know what happened to him, and I know a boyfriend isn't what he needs."

"Wait, what?"

"He told you what happened?" David exclaimed. "Tell us!"

"I'm not telling you guys what happened!" Blaine exclaimed. "I promised Kurt I wouldn't. It's his story to tell, not mine. It took a lot of courage for him to tell me. I don't want to break his trust."

"But-"

"I'm _not_ telling you guys, so drop it," Blaine said angrily. "I _care _about him. I respect his wishes for privacy. You should too."

"Alright," Wes said. "But you can still gush."

"About what?"

"His legs, his hair, his eyes..." David began.

"...His courage, his kindness, his hotness..." Wes continued.

"...Your dream wedding with him, your dream date with him, etc." David finished.

After a long moment of silence, Blaine commented, "I'd love to go on a picnic with him under the stars. Just the two of us, on top of a hill in the middle of nowhere. We could talk about whatever we wanted, and we could be affectionate with each other, and no one else would be there so we wouldn't have to deal with homophobia. It would just be _us_. And his eyes would look so pretty in the moonlight. They'd be more beautiful than all the stars. I don't know what colour they would be because they're always changing, and..."

Slowly, I backed away and went outside. I couldn't hear any more of what Blaine was saying. The longing looks that I occasionally noticed Blaine sending me weren't because I had something ridiculous on my face. The times that Blaine had cuddled up with me while watching movies weren't quite accidental. Blaine wanted me as more than a friend.

I couldn't tell what I was feeling. Was I happy about Blaine's feelings for me? Excited? Was I worried? Scared? Angry? Whatever I was feeling, I couldn't return Blaine's feelings. Not yet.

But it seemed, though, as if he understood, to an extent, how I was feeling. He wouldn't be pushing me to go out on a date with him – for which I was thankful for. He was letting me find my feet, and find who I was again. He was letting me make the decisions. Maybe later, if he still returned his feelings, would our relationship progress into something more.

At this revelation, I found myself a while away from the dorms, on top of a small crest. In the distance, I could see the lights from Dalton. Dark was beginning to fall. A multitude of stars were beginning to peek out of the cloudless sky. This was what Blaine had been picturing when he was describing a date.

A sudden image of Blaine and I sitting on a soft blanket placed where I was standing now flashed in my mind. We were holding hands and feeding each other small portions of home-cooked food. Blaine's eyes never left my face, even as I pointed out the constellations my mother had taught me when I was very young. We were happy.

A sense of right filled me. That was where I was supposed to be. I wanted to have that. I wanted that to happen.

Suddenly, I realized.

I had fallen for one Blaine Anderson.

* * *

><p><strong>I'm going to try and post again before Easter. I will try my hardest to update before then.<strong>

**Thank you to everyone for putting up with my bad updating skills and reading anyways. It means a lot to me :)**


	20. Chapter 20

**Yes this took forever. Yes I am very sorry. Yes I will start the next chapter today or tomorrow and get it out soon because I actually have time now that it's summer. **

**Basically, whenever I had time to write, I had writer's block. Whenever I didn't have time, I didn't have writer's block. Plus, I've gotten addicted to a swarm of new shows and tumblr is always distracting. 5 months is a ridiculously long time not to update and I really am sorry from the bottom of my heart.**

**This chapter (and the next one or two) take place for the most part around Christmas.**

**A quick summary of what happened in the last chapter: Kurt finished telling Blaine about his past and then went home for the weekend. When he returned he heard Blaine tell Wes and David that he was interested in Kurt, which led Kurt to realize that he had feelings to Blaine.**

**A/N: I do not own Glee.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 20<strong>

I sat down on the cold grass, and looked into the stars, hoping by some small chance that they would give me guidance. I had fallen for Blaine. I didn't know what to do.

Should I tell him? Should I leave it? Should I ignore these feelings and continue to be Blaine's friend – _best friend_, my mind supplied happily – or should I let them stay, and maybe do something about them? Usually, I would keep them quiet, but knowing Blaine liked me –_ me!_ – that changed things.

Closing my eyes, I imagined us being together. I had no doubt that we would be happy together. Knowing Blaine, he would make me feel loved and appreciated every minute of the day. He would continue to support me. He would reassure me. He would make me smile. He would defend me, even if I was wrong. He would surprise me. He wouldn't judge me. He would make me feel perfect. He would be everything that I needed, and hopefully I could give that in return.

But what if something happened? I loved the friendship that I had with Blaine. He was always there for me when I needed him to be. He went above and beyond my expectations for what friends would do. Maybe some of that had to do with his feelings for me, but I was sure that it also had something to do with Blaine himself. I didn't want to mess up what we had. I didn't want us to stop talking if something happened that caused us to end the relationship.

The idea of trusting Blaine enough to go into that kind of relationship scared me. I trusted Blaine with everything, but being alone on a date? Last time I was on a "date"... The intimacy of a relationship seemed threatening to me. I had no desire for any of the physical side of a relationship – not even kissing. Not anymore. Blaine was so much more confident than me in that area. He would want to kiss, and possibly go farther. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't give that to him right now.

And what if he only liked how I was now? I had been debating whether or not I restart my Vogue subscription. I missed listening to show tunes and Lady Gaga. Listening to whatever was on my iPod now was torture. What if Blaine wasn't interested in any of that?

But Blaine – dear, sweet Blaine – wouldn't care about that, would he? He wouldn't break up with me just because I wasn't comfortable with kissing him. He would just hug me more frequently and hold me a little bit tighter and cuddle me for longer. He would let me decide the pace.

I had no idea what to do.

I got back to the dorms with just a half hour left before curfew. I had spent a long time on the crest thinking about everything, and still had not come to a decision.

"Kurt!" I heard Blaine call as I was unlocking my dorm.

I paused in my motions. I had hoped to avoid Blaine to give myself more time to think about my situation. I had no idea how I was going to act.

"Hey! I heard from one of the Warblers that you got back. You should have come to see me. I've been looking for you!" he said, as he came up and stood beside me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw his hand reach up, then fall back to his side, as if he wasn't sure whether or not he should touch me. "Kurt? Are you okay?"

"Fine," I said, looking up at him for the first time. He looked confused, possibly worried.

"Where were you?" he asked.

"I went for a walk," I replied quickly. I placed my hand on the doorknob.

"Oh," he mumbled, his shoulders dropping.

"Listen, I had a long drive. I'm going to turn in now," I said, opening my door and slipping through.

"Goodnight!" I heard Blaine call as I shut the door, catching a quick glimpse of his hurt expression.

_That probably wasn't the best way to handle that_, I thought to myself as guilt settled in my stomach.

* * *

><p>The next morning, I was standing in front of my bathroom mirror debating on trying to style my hair or leaving it to fall flat, when there was a knock on my door.<p>

Deciding that I wouldn't bother, I went to open the door. Once it was fully opened, I found Blaine standing there nervously, holding a tray of coffee cups and a bag from IHOP. He smiled nervously at me.

"Blaine?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"I brought you breakfast," he said quickly. "As an apology."

"For what?"

"Well, whatever it is you're mad at me for," he answered, shifting his weight from foot to foot. "I know I should know-"

"I'm not mad at you," I said, cutting him off.

"You aren't?"

"Of course not," I said.

Blaine sighed in relief. "I was worried after last night. You were acting weird towards me, and I couldn't think of what I did."

"It's not you, it was me."

"Kurt Hummel, are you breaking up with me?" Blaine questioned.

I chuckled. "Of course not." _We weren't even dating yet, how could we break up?_

Blaine grinned. "Well, I still have breakfast for you. May I come in?"

"Sure," I replied, moving aside to let him pass.

"I kind of got a bit of everything – pancakes, bacon, toast, eggs, hash browns, and some other stuff – because I didn't know what you'd be in the mood for. Desk or bed?"

"Bed is fine. You really didn't need to do this," I said.

"If David and Wes are mad at me, buying them food from IHOP is always works," Blaine said as he settled on my bed, leaning against the headboard, and began to take styrofoam containers out of the bag. "I figured I'd try it with you. Being as you weren't mad in the first place though, I'll have to try it next time you're mad."

"Who said I'll get mad at you?"

"I can do some stupid things, Kurt," Blaine admitted, passing me a coffee. "I usually don't notice if I'm hurting someone."

"Well, for future reference, coffee is a good first step," I said, holding up my coffee. "After that..." I paused, and thought for a moment. "Scarves."

"Scarves?"

I nodded. "Scarves," said more confidently. It was something old Kurt would have loved, but I had been admiring a few newly released scarves online.

"I have to admit that wasn't an answer I was expecting," Blaine said, taking a piece of bacon from one of the containers.

I shrugged, choosing to take a sip of coffee instead of answering. The taste of Non-Fat Mocha flooded my mouth. "You remembered my coffee order," I commented, sitting down next to him.

"Of course I did. So what was going on yesterday?" Blaine asked, nudging my shoulder gently.

"I-I don't know," I replied. _I heard you say you were interested in me and then I realized that I felt the same and now I don't know what to do._

"I don't believe that," Blaine said gently. I took a bite of pancake from one of the boxes. "Is it about Friday? I promised I wouldn't tell anyone, and I plan to keep that promise."

"I know," I said. I glanced at him and found his hazel eyes looked on mine, showing traces of worry, promise, and what I thought was something similar to love. I didn't trust myself enough to keep staring into them, so I looked away. "It isn't about Friday. Thank you for that, by the way. Thank you for listening."

"Kurt of_ course_," Blaine responded. "There's no need to thank me. I'm happy I was there. Anytime you need someone to talk to... I'm here for you."

"I know," I murmured. "Why on Earth did you get so much food for the two of us? Honestly, this could feed an army. Even Finn couldn't eat this much."

"I love leftovers," Blaine stated without questioning the change of subject. "Plus, Wes and David will never say no to food."

I chuckled as Blaine launched into a conversation about a movie he saw over the weekend.

* * *

><p>Weeks passed, and before I knew it, it was the last day of school before Christmas.<p>

I was on my way to my dorm to grab my suitcase before leaving, when I felt something hit my back forcefully. I jumped and turned around in surprise. I saw a group of Dalton boys throwing snowballs at each other.

"Sorry about that!" one of them called out to me. I had never seen him before. I assumed that this was the boy that hit me.

I raised my hand in acknowledgement, before continuing on to the dorms. Seeing Blaine's light on, I decided to visit him briefly before leaving for home.

"Hey Kurt!" he called, quickly setting a magazine down as I opened the door. "Come on in. Make yourself at home."

I slowly entered his room. "What are you reading?"

"Oh. Nothing," he said, shuffling the magazine so it was hidden from me.

I raised an eyebrow. "Blaine."

Blushing, he handed me the magazine. The top of the magazine read _Vogue_ in a large, elegant font.

"I know it's stereotypical, but I swear it's a good magazine!" Blaine defended. "Please don't tell Wes and David. They'd never shut up about it. I don't have a fantastic fashion sense, so they'd find it especially hilarious."

I licked my bottom lip. How I used to love Vogue. I really missed the magazine. "Move over," I said with a fake confidence. When there was room on the bed for me, I sat next to Blaine and put the magazine between us. We were shoulder to shoulder, giving me a kaleidoscope of butterflies fluttering in my stomach.

"You read Vogue?" Blaine said excitedly.

"I used to. I haven't since..." I trailed off, looking at Blaine expectantly.

"Oh," Blaine mouthed. "I remember you mentioning it. Well, there's no time like the present to start up again," he said. "Now, the latest trends seem to be..."

I listened to Blaine talk for a while as we flipped through the magazine before deciding that it was time for me to head home. Somehow, our legs had ended up tangled together. I extricated my own, and headed towards the door, Blaine following close behind.

"I'll see you after break?" I suggested.

"If you're free, I'd love to see you during the break," suggested Blaine, wringing his hands out. _Did he think that I'd say no?_

I nodded, a faint blush appearing on my cheeks. "I'd like that," I admitted.

Blaine's face lit up. "Great! I'm staying here over Christmas, so-"

"What do you mean you're staying here?" I asked, cutting him off.

"My parents are away. They're somewhere in Europe," Blaine said. He was trying to act nonchalantly, but I could tell that he upset that his parents didn't want to spend the holiday with him. "I didn't see a point in spending Christmas in an empty house, and some other guys are staying at Dalton too. I don't really know them, but it's better to have company." I frowned. "Kurt, seriously. It's fine. I've spent Christmas alone before. It's better than having your parents try and change you by inviting girls over."

"That's not right."

Blaine shrugged. "I'm free all break. Save me some boredom and text me, okay?"

I smiled. "Of course."

He pulled me into a tight hug, "See you later Kurt. Have a good holiday."

I smiled. "I will. You too."

Blaine let go of me. "Now you head home. Your dad is probably worrying."

"Bye Blaine."

"Bye Kurt."

* * *

><p>When I got home, I was greeted by my dad, who gave me a tight hug. "Hey kiddo," he said.<p>

"Hi dad," I replied.

"Was the drive okay?"

"Yeah," I said. "Blaine's alone for Christmas," I blurted out without thinking.

"What do you mean? His family is away?"

I nodded slowly. "He was planning on staying at Dalton."

"Well that simply won't do," said Carole, entering from the kitchen. "Invite him over for the holidays! He can even sleep here if the two of you feel comfortable enough."

My dad quickly nodded in agreement. "We have plenty of room and we always have far too much food. No one should be alone on Christmas."

I smiled gratefully. "I'll invite him over," I promised. "Do you need any help with supper Carole?"

"Thank you for offering dear, but you can go unpack," Carole replied. "I'll call you when it's ready."

* * *

><p>Later that evening, I abided by Blaine's request and texted him.<p>

_Hi! I got home safe and sound – Kurt_

_Great! :D – Blaine_

_I may or may not have mentioned to my parents that you would be alone for Christmas – Kurt_

_It's really not that big of a deal, Kurt – Blaine_

_Whether it is or isn't, they invited you to spend the holidays with us. – Blaine_

As I waited for him to reply, my phone started to ring.

"Hello?"

"Kurt I am perfectly fine spending the holidays alone. I don't want to cut into time with your family. I appreciate the offer, but I can't accept."

"Don't be ridiculous, of course you can. My family wants you to join us."

"But do _you?_"

"I wouldn't have brought it up with them if I didn't want you here," I said sincerely. "I would love to have you over for Christmas. You're my best friend Blaine," I admitted. Although it was irrational – as I knew he considered me to be the same – I was still nervous of what his reaction would be.

"_Kurt_," Blaine murmured with more emotion than I could have imagined be used with such a small voice. "I- Wow, thank you, that really means- you're my best friend too and I'm not just saying that. That sounded so much less awkward in my head, I swear."

I laughed. "So what do you say, spend Christmas with us?"

Blaine was quiet for a few moments. "I would really love that. What time should I come?"

"If you wanted to, my parents said you just sleep over during the break."

"Like, for multiple days at a time?"

"Yes, if you wanted to."

"Would you feel comfortable with that though?" Blaine asked.

I bit my lip. "I don't know. It's ridiculous – I mean I've stayed over at your house-"

"But it was only one night and that's different," Blaine finished.

I sighed. "Yes."

"I don't mind only coming over for Christmas," he replied. "You're already doing so much, I don't want to impose and make you feel uncomfortable."

"I think I'd like to try it, though? If it goes well, I'd love to have you stay."

"If you ever ask me to leave I won't be offended," Blaine assured. "Thank you Kurt, this means a lot."

"You're welcome."

"When do you want me to come over?"

"Maybe tomorrow or the day after? Whatever works for you."

"Kurt, I have literally no plans over break, except singing at a shelter on Christmas with the Warblers. You decide the day."

"Maybe the day after tomorrow then, so I can have some time to get ready."

"That sounds perfect," Blaine replied. "I can't wait."

"Great! So I'll see you then?"

"Are you hanging up on me, mister? Just because we've made plans doesn't mean I want to stop talking to you," Blaine answered. "You can hang up if you need to go though, I'm not going to stop you. But yes, you will see me then."

"I don't need to go."

"Great! So what sort of Christmas traditions do you do?"

* * *

><p>I spent the next day preparing myself to have a guest over for multiple days in a row. I was nervous about it, but it was an unnecessary feeling when I knew that Blaine would do his best to make me feel comfortable. I didn't know where the sentiment was coming from. Carole assured me that it was normal, but it still felt unnecessary.<p>

My dad said I was allowed to have Blaine sleep in my room, but I chose to set up the guest room. If needed, it would give me a private place to spend some time alone if I felt overwhelmed. Knowing Blaine, it would also make him feel as if he wasn't imposing as much.

The next day Blaine arrived at around three. When I answered the door, he had a large smile on his face. One hand was dragging a large suitcase and the other was carrying a large pot of ruby poinsettias.

Taking the flowers from him, I said, "What are these for?"

"It's a 'thank you for letting me stay' present. I would bring wine, but I'm too young to buy it, so flowers it was. I figured roses or a bouquet weren't completely appropriate being as its Christmas, so poinsettias it was," Blaine explained. "I hope no one is allergic?"

"No! Carole was just saying earlier how she wanted to get some! She'll love these," I assured.

"Kurt! Shut the front door!" my dad called from the living room.

"Oh, come in," I added, moving aside to let Blaine pass.

Blaine smiled gratefully as I shut the door behind him. "Hi, by the way."

"Hi," I said quickly, a red tint settling on my cheeks. "We set up the guest room for you, I hope that's alright?"

"Sounds wonderful," Blaine said. "Hi Mrs. Hummel," he said, looking behind me. "Thank you so much for having me."

"It's Hudson, but you can call me Carole," she said smiling. "It's wonderful to have you over dear. Oh, these are lovely!" she exclaimed, noticing the large flowers in my arms. "You didn't need to get us anything."

"It was the least I could do," Blaine assured.

Carole took the flowers from my arms. "I'm going to put these in the kitchen. Thank you so much. It's very kind of you."

"Um, you can follow me so you can put your things in the guest room," I suggested nervously. Our house wasn't as nice as Blaine's. Even though he wasn't a very judgemental person, I worried over what he would think about my home.

Blaine, gratefully, ignored my slightly shaky voice and allowed me to lead him upstairs. His bedroom was next to mine with a bathroom between them. The bathroom was simple – only a shower, sink, and toilet – and would be shared between myself and Blaine.

The guest room was also very modest. Small, it had a double bed with plain cream sheets and a brown comforter with a leaf design. There was a side table with a reading light next to the bed. There were blankets stacked On top of the empty wooden dresser near the foot of the bed were extra blankets stacked in case the comforter wasn't enough.

"It's not much," I commented.

Blaine sat gently on the bed. "This is perfect. Thank you Kurt."

"Right! Well, I'll leave and let you unpack. You can put your things in the dresser if you want. My room is on the other side of the bathroom."

"I won't take long," Blaine said.

I nodded and went into my bedroom. _This is weird_, I thought to myself. _This shouldn't be this weird._

There was a hesitant know on my door ten minutes later.

"Come in!" I called. Blaine poked his head in before carefully stepping inside. His eyes glanced around my bedroom. I nervously began to pick at the sheets on my bed.

"I like this. It's very sophisticated, very modern. It suits you," he said after a few seconds.

"Thanks," I said.

"Are you okay Kurt?" Blaine asked. "If you aren't comfortable with me being here, please just say so and I don't mind leaving."

"I'm fine, this is just weird, that's all."

"How so?" Blaine asked, gently sitting next to me on the bed.

"I don't know. It's new."

"Maybe we just need to break the ice?" he suggested.

"Maybe," I replied.

"May I?" Blaine asked, gesturing to my bookshelf.

I nodded and sat down on my bed as he looked through the titles. For the most part, Blaine was quiet, but every so often I he emitted an impressed noise. "We have similar tastes," he stated. "Although I must admit that there are some books I didn't know."

"I'm sure it'd be the same case if I went through your bookshelf," I said.

Blaine nodded in agreement. "Most likely. Kurt, is that what I think it is?"

"What?"

"Vogue: The Covers!" Blaine crouched down and began to pull it out.

"I thought I took that out of here, to be honest."

"I'm glad you didn't! I've been dying to have a chance to look through this!" Blaine got up excitedly and walked excitedly towards where I was sitting on the bed. "Move over."

Quickly shuffling over to give him room, Blaine jumped up on the bed and sat close beside me. "I guess we found something to do then."

"Wait, is this okay? Or do you want to do something else?"

"This is fine," I said.

We were flipping through the large hardcover when Carole called for dinner. Blaine's excitement was contagious. Within the first few pages, I began to talk just as excitedly as he was about the photographs.

"I still can't get over that 1911 cover. Absolutely stunning!" Blaine exclaimed. "The talent that takes place with that photography is astounding! People who say that photography isn't art need to take a look at that book."

"There are a couple really nice covers from the fifties that I think you'll adore," I replied. "I'll show you after supper."

"I'm just letting you know that if that book disappears I didn't take it."

I laughed. "I'll make sure to get it back from Finn then."

"Get what back from me?" We had entered the dining room. My dad and Carole were seated patiently at the table while Finn was eyeing the casserole hungrily. His hand slowly moved closer towards the serving spoon.

"Nothing," I said.

Finn tilted his head in confusion. I could see the wheels turning in his brain as he tried to figure out what we were talking about. After a few seconds, he shrugged. "Whatever. Hey dude," he greeted Blaine.

"Hello Finn," Blaine replied. Glancing over, he seemed perfectly calm, however I could feel him tense beside me.

"Sorry I attacked you," said Finn.

Blaine never replied. We took our seats at the table. Finn's hand shot quickly towards the spoon, as if someone was going to stop him from eating. He took a large portion before passing it to my dad. Immediately, he began to devour his plate.

"I hope you're okay with chicken casserole? It isn't anything too fancy," Carole said.

"It smells delicious Mrs- Carole. Thank you so much."

"It's nothing dear. Take as much as you want."

"So where are your parents travelling?" my dad asked.

"They're somewhere in Europe. I'm not entirely sure where," Blaine replied. "If I were to guess, it'd be somewhere extravagant like Paris or some rich resort in Switzerland. I really appreciate letting me stay with you for the holidays. I know it's a very family-oriented time. It means a lot that you would include me."

"It's no problem Blaine," Carole assured. "What are you two going to get up to?"

"I'm not sure," I said. "We'll probably watch movies, play board games, and that sort of thing."

"Can you make Christmas cookies Kurt?" Finn asked.

"No."

"I love your cookies!" Blaine exclaimed. "Can you make Christmas cookies?"

I rolled my eyes. "Child."

"Is that a yes?"

"Yes."

"Dude why is he nice to you?" Finn whined.

"Because he likes me," Blaine replied, grinning awkwardly at me.

_Yes I did_, I thought as I blushed. "Idiot."

"Meany."

"Do you want cookies or not?"

"Your majesty."

"Better."

Blaine stuck his tongue out at me and began to eat the casserole. "Carole this tastes incredible!" Blaine exclaimed.

"Thank you dear. It really isn't much though."

"Can I go over to Puck's for a video game marathon?" Finn asked as he got a second helping of casserole.

"Sure," Carole said. "Burt and I were thinking of playing Monopoly anyways."

"I am the best at Monopoly," Blaine said proudly. "I win every game I play."

I snorted. "Sure you do."

"You'd have a tough competition against Kurt," my dad said.

"I've won every game since I was six," I stated.

"I could beat you."

"Do you want to bet on that?"

"Winner gets to choose what movie to watch first and has to pay for coffee."

"Shall we shake on it?" I asked.

"We shall," Blaine said.

"Is there even a point in trying to play?" my dad asked Carole as we shook hands.

* * *

><p>"A grande non-fat mocha and a medium drip please," Blaine said, fishing out money from his wallet.<p>

I smirked as Blaine paid the barista. "Winning is divine."

"You were lucky," Blaine muttered. "That's all."

"I just have good technique."

"My technique was better than yours!" he retorted.

"Says the person who lost."

"Meany."

We sat down with our coffees at an empty table.

"So, Christmas shopping," I began. "I haven't gone shopping in a long time."

"You used to enjoy shopping, right?"

I nodded and took a sip of the coffee. It looked as if Blaine was about to respond when a small but stunning girl with long brown hair suddenly jumped on his lap. Blaine looked confused for a moment until he recognized the girl. His face lit up in joy and he hugged her tightly.

"Blaine! I haven't seen you in ages!" she exclaimed.

"Ella!" he responded excitedly, hugging her tightly. "How are you?"

"I'm alright," the girl, Ella, replied. "I'd be better if my gay best friend talked to me more often."

"I'm sorry, I've been really busy lately with school and Warblers," Blaine explained. "Whenever I try to call you you're busy! And you keep going away when I'm free."

"I know, it's a real pain. I'm here this break though, if you're free?" she asked.

"Oh!" Blaine exclaimed, turning to me. "Ella, this is Kurt. Kurt, this is Ella Bentley, my lovely ex-girlfriend."

I realized who this girl was. This was the girl that Blaine had come out to before anyone else. Although she didn't have a very good reaction, she redeemed herself after Blaine got attacked. She gave him a friend and helped him with his adjustment to Dalton.

She was very pretty. I could see why Blaine had liked her.

Her piercing green eyes laid on me. I felt like they could tell everything about me. "You're the one I texted at that party! Blaine is this..?"

Blaine's cheeks lit up like a Christmas tree. "Y-Yeah," Blaine stuttered. He looked embarrassed. If my assumption was correct, his crush had been festering longer than I'd thought.

"Oh," said Ella, eyes flicking between the two of us, a realization occurring to her. "Right. It's nice to meet you Kurt!"

"Y-You too," I replied. I shifted nervously as Ella sat in the seat between Blaine and me. I felt uncomfortable. Was it the fact that she assumed I was gay and exclaimed it loudly in public? Or did the feeling stem from having to meet someone new unexpectedly?

Blaine seemed to notice my nervous demeanor and brought her attention back to him. "What are you up to today?" he asked.

"Christmas shopping," Ella responded. "I should have started earlier, but I didn't. So here I am! You two?"

"Christmas shopping," Blaine answered.

"Maybe I could join you?" Ella suggested. "I don't mind if you say no," she added when I froze.

Blaine looked to me to make the decision. I appreciated the fact that he wanted me to be comfortable, but I could see how hopeful he was that I would say yes. After everything he had done for me, I couldn't say no, even though I would prefer to give a negative answer. I gave a tiny nod and Blaine beamed. If Blaine trusted her, than I could try to too.

Ella seemed very perceptive. I truly believed that Blaine hadn't told her anything about my past, yet I felt like she could tell what I went through. She smiled. "Thank you," she said to me. "I need to go get a coffee. I'll be right back!" And with that, she got up and went to the counter.

"Thank you," Blaine said appreciatively after a couple of minutes. "You didn't need to say yes-"

"It's fine," I replied quickly. I sipped my coffee. "You looked happy to see her."

"I am," Blaine replied. "I really missed talking to her."

"Aw, you're sweet," said Ella, returning to the table. "What are you doing this break?"

"I'm actually staying at Kurt's for Christmas," Blaine replied. "My parents are in Europe and I was alone so Kurt offered for me to stay over."

"That's really nice of you!" Ella said, smiling at me. "Would you mind if I stole him once or twice? You're welcome to join us if you want as well."

"Of course," I said.

"Where were you planning on shopping?" Blaine asked.

"I was planning on going to the mall and some of the shops downtown," Ella replied.

"That was our plan too," said Blaine. "Should we take one vehicle?" As he asked his question, he looked to me for confirmation that it was okay.

"We could use my Navigator," I suggested quietly.

"Why don't we take these to go and head to the mall?" Blaine said, gesturing to our coffee cups.

The three of us packed up our things and left The Lima Bean. I got in the driver's side. Blaine opened the passenger door for Ella and climbed in the backseat behind me.

"You can pick the music," I said to Ella as I began to drive towards the mall. A radio station playing top 40 music was on.

"This is fine," said Ella.

"Who are you buying for?" asked Blaine.

"My parents and a couple of friends. I need to buy for my aunt as well. I drew her name in the family's Secret Santa," said Ella.

"I need to get something for my parents," said Blaine. "I'll get something for Wes and David, and I drew Nick for the Warblers' Secret Santa. I have to buy things for some others as well. How about you, Kurt?"

"My dad, Carole, and Finn, of course. I need to buy for Quinn, Tina and Brittany. If I'm buying for Brittany I have to buy for Santana. There are a few others on my list too," I said. _Such as Blaine_, I thought. _I don't know how I'm going to buy him a Christmas present if he's with me when I'm shopping._

"Kurt, did you know Blaine dressed up as a reindeer one Christmas and went around to different houses singing Christmas carols by himself one year?" Ella said innocently.

"Ella!" Blaine exclaimed as I chuckled.

"I believe it."

"Once he serenaded someone in the closet at the Gap with _When I Get You Alone_ by Robin Thicke. They almost got fired."

"Would you shut up Ella?"

The drive to the mall continued with Ella telling stories that Blaine probably didn't want me to hear about. After the first few, I stopped holding back my laughter and let it flow out of me.

"I hate you," grumbled Blaine when I was parked.

"You love me," said Ella, putting a large kiss on his cheek. Even though I knew that Blaine was gay, the action made me feel a twinge of jealousy. They had dated at one point, after all.

We entered the mall and immediately began to visit stores, pushing through the crowds to find what we needed. I ended up finding a video game for Finn, a stuffed unicorn for Brittany, a set of pyjamas slash lingerie for Santana and a variety of eye shadows for Tina. I had been keeping my eyes open for things for Blaine but I hadn't spotted anything for him yet. Blaine had found everything he was looking for in the mall – a gift card for his mother, a tie for his father, and a video game for David – and Ella had found a most of her gifts as well.

I saw a couple things that I would have bought for myself had my past not stopped me. There was a soft greenish-blue scarf that would have gone stunningly well with my complexion. There was also a maroon scarf that would have worked perfectly for cold days as well. I didn't try it on either scarf though. There was also a stunning Alexander McQueen jacket for spring on sale for an excellent price. I didn't try it on because I knew that if I did I wouldn't be able to take it off. It was tempting though, and I'd probably regret it later.

We entered Macy's and I began to look through the dresses for Quinn. Ella helped me search through the racks until we found the perfect dress for her while Blaine searched throughout the store. I realized that I was really enjoying spending time with her. She was nice, witty, and had a bubbly personality that helped me forget my fears. She had plenty of stories about Blaine that he didn't want me to hear and a good sense of fashion. She ended up finding the dress that I bought for Quinn, along with a gift card for Carole.

We met Blaine outside the store.

"Looking for bow ties?" Ella asked. Blaine had mentioned the fact that he had a large bow tie collection, but I never imagined the extent. She had counted 143 bow ties about a year ago.

"All they had were traditional ones," he replied. Ella rolled her eyes. "Why can't they sell fun bow ties?"

"Fun bow ties?" I asked, an idea forming in my head.

"Ones with rubber ducks and lobsters and stuff instead of plaid or solid coloured bow ties," Blaine said. "That's all people have nowadays."

"Why would you wear a bow tie with lobsters on it?" Ella asked.

"Why not?"

"Weirdo."

They bickered playfully as we left the mall and went onto the streets downtown to finish shopping.

I found my dad a set of new tools for the garage as he had been complaining about his old ones not working as well anymore. We passed a fabric store on the way back to my car and I spotted a fabric with lobsters on the shelf.

"Can you distract Blaine?" I whispered to Ella as Blaine stopped to tie his shoe.

She nodded and walked over to him. "Blaine I'm hungry, buy me something."

"Buy yourself something," he retorted.

"No, come on," she said, dragging him towards a very busy bakery.

"Wait, Kurt-"

"You guys go!" I said. "I need to go to the washroom, and I just saw something perfect to go with Brittany's gift."

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Go," I assured.

As Ella dragged him away, I slipped in the fabric store. I pulled out the roll of lobster fabric, as well as a fabric with small ducks, Christmas trees, puzzle pieces and lightning bolts. I bought a small amount of each fabric and put it in the bag with Quinn's dress, before sneaking out of the store and going into the toy store where I bought glitter pens for Brittany.

As I exited the toy store, Blaine and Ella returned with three muffins. Ella eyed me carefully, and I nodded to let her know I was successful.

"Thank you," I said, as Blaine handed me one.

"Are we all done?" asked Ella. "I've found everything."

"So have I," said Blaine.

I nodded. "Should we head back then?" I suggested.

"Sounds like a plan," Blaine agreed.

We returned to my Navigator. Ella and Blaine took the same seats they had before and I drove off in the direction of the Lima Bean where Ella's vehicle was stationed. After having spent the day with Ella, I felt far more comfortable, and I trusted that Blaine's trust in her was not misplaced. The two of them sang loudly - and purposely awfully - along to the songs playing on the radio.

I could tell Blaine was upset when he was saying goodbye to Ella. He hugged her tightly for longer than most friends would normally hug for. I could tell how close he was to her.

"Text me later, okay? We're meeting up more this holiday," he said.

"Of course!" Ella agreed. "I'll let you know when I get home and we can start to make plans. See you later Kurt! Blaine sleeps with a stuffed bear named Tony!"

"Ella shut up!" Blaine exclaimed.

"Bye," I called to her as she began to make her way back to the vehicle.

Blaine moved into the passenger seat and I drove off.

"So, why Tony?"

"_Kurt_," Blaine whined as I laughed. "It's named after Tony in West Side Story," he admitted. "It's one of my dream roles."

"Fair enough."

"Thank you Kurt," said Blaine.

"For what?"

"Letting Ella join us."

"I couldn't really say no," I joked. "But I liked her. You two really get along well."

"You did?"

"She was very pretty," I commented. "I can see why you dated her."

"I dated her because she had a kind heart, was fun to be around and wasn't prejudiced. I _really_ didn't care how she looked," said Blaine firmly, "Being gay, after all."

He sounded hurt. Guilt swarmed my stomach. "I'm sorry." _Should I say it?_ "I guess..." I paused. "I guess I'm just... jealous," I admitted, blushing.

"Jealous?" Blaine asked, looking at me confusedly. "Why would you be jealous?"

_Change the subject. _"We could watch West Side Story if you wanted to tonight."

Blaine eyed me carefully. "Sure."

_I am an idiot._

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you all so much for your support. I know I'm awful at updating, so thank you for waiting and being patient. <strong>

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